IMPACT TV report for 05/24/2013

Impact begins with Hulk Hogan making his way to the ring in his home town of Tampa Florida. The crowd is really into Hogan tonight, but I won’t hold that against them.

Hogan claimed to be drinking beers with Shark Boy earlier at his beach. Hogan also says he wants to call out his friend, Sting.

Sting comes out and Hogan tells him he doesn’t have to agree to Bully Ray’s stipulation that Sting can never wrestle for the TNA title again if he loses. Hogan is the GM and he can remove that stipulation. Sting appreciates the offer, but he wants it to stay as it is. Sting feels responsible for getting Hogan to trust Bully Ray and he doesn’t think he deserves another title shot if he loses.

Brooke Hogan comes out to take responsibility for the Aces and Eights situation and tells Sting and Hogan they should stop blaming themselves. Bully Ray comes out and says none of them are to blame for Aces and Eights because Bully Ray himself is to responsible, and he’s proud.

He also says he is still in love with his wife, Brooke Hogan, and will never take off his wedding ring because of that fact.


Match #1: Joey Ryan versus Petey Williams, versus Suicide.

Suicide hits Ryan with a dropkick. Petey dropkicks Suicide to the floor. Ryan baseballs slides underneath Petey and then sends him out to the floor with a pump handle throw. Suicide hits Petey with a hurricanrana and then puts Joey in a leg lock and Petey in an abdominal stretch. Petey escapes and tries to hit Ryan with the Canadian Destroyer but gets hit with a kick from Suicide instead.

Ryan goes out to the floor and Petey hits him with a suicide dive. Suicide dives out of the ring (not a suicide dive) onto Ryan and Williams. Petey hits Joey with a facebuster; Suicide shoves Petey out of the ring and rolls up Joey for 2. Suicide misses a senton and Petey sets him up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Ryan breaks it up with a kick. Suicide hits Joey with a neckbreaker and then a gut buster for the win.


Match #2: Sam Shaw versus Alex Silva.

Both men are former Gut Check winners, and the winner of this match will get 1 step closer to competing in the Bound for Glory Series. Sam Shaw comes out first, and then Aces and Eights come out instead of Alex Silva.

Wes Brisco announces that they’ve already taken out Alex Silva in the back and look ready to take out Sam Shaw next. Brisco is mad he didn’t get a chance to compete for the BFG series and they start beating on Shaw. Magnus comes out to the rescue and saves Sam Shaw.

Shaw is apparently a friend of Magnus’ and trained with him at Harley Race’s wrestling school. Magus thinks Brisco does not deserve a shot at the BFG series; Magnus thinks Briscoe deserves to get his ass kicked.

Match #3: Magnus versus Wes Brisco.

Magnus lands a punch, flying knee, and a gut wrench suplex to Brisco. Magnus mounts and pounds Brisco; Brisco escapes and retreats to the floor.


Wes lands a kick and slams Magnus into the corner. Brisco lands a punch, a clothesline, and then puts Magnus in a chin lock. Brisco hits Magnus with an elbow, a knee lift, and a clothesline. Brisco puts Magnus in a chin lock but Magnus escapes and the two men exchange strikes.

Magnus hits Wes with a pair of clotheslines, Wes responds with a kick. Magnus hits Wes with another clothesline and Brisco retaliates with a big boot to the face. Brisco climbs to the top rope and leaps, but Magnus catches him and suplexes him. Magnus climbs to the top rope but Brisco cuts him off.

Magnus throws Wes back to the mat but is then himself knocked off the top by the other members of Aces and Eights at ringside. Aces and Eights start to beat Magnus down, but Magnus is saved by Samoa Joe. Former tag partners and champions Joe and Magnus stand tall in the ring.


When we return, we see footage of Sting being inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame last year at Slammiversary. Someone else will be inducted this year, but we still don’t know who.

In the Aces and Eights clubhouse, Bully Ray assures the club that AJ Styles will be joining their ranks tonight. Bully seems way to confident, but he guarantees AJ will not disappoint them, like some people have (stares angrily at D Lo.)

Kurt Angle continues his crusade to save Olympic wrestling. ngle argues that something is very wrong when a dying sport like the pentathlon remains and a popular sport like wrestling gets cut. He makes a good point, but I think it’s even more amazing that synchronized swimming, a sport that exists ONLY to be mocked, is protected and wrestling could be eliminated.

Mockery is the only purposes synchronized swimming serves. I’ve never had a conversation about synchronized swimming that did not result in it being mocked, and I’d be willing to bet none of you have either. I’m getting off my soap box now.


Match #4: Ken Anderson versus Kurt Angle.

It’s hard to take notes on matches featuring two men with the same initials, but luckily for you I was up to the challenge. These two men had one of the best matches in TNA history a couple years ago in a steel cage.

Angle takes Anderson down and puts him in a headlock. Anderson escapes and hits Angle with a shoulder block. Anderson hits Angle with a kick and several punches; Angle responds with a back elbow, a punch and a kick. Angle stomps Anderson in the corner and then suplexes him.

Angle beats on Anderson some more in the corner. Angle charges at Anderson in the corner but misses and hits the steel post. Anderson steps on Angle and then starts to work on his arm. Anderson hits Angle with a long series of strikes and then twists his arm some more. Angle escapes and hits Anderson with a missile dropkick. Angle hits Anderson with a pair of clotheslines and a belly to belly suplex.

Anderson hits Angle with a fireman’s carry slam; Angle retaliates with 3 German Suplexes. Anderson recovers from the suplexes and hits Angle with the Mic Check, but gets only 2. Anderson climbs to the top rope, but Angle runs up the ropes and throws Anderson across the ring. AJ Styles walks to the ring and is hugged by Taz.

The ref notices AJ at ringside and gets distracted; Anderson takes advantage of the distraction and hits Angle in the nuts for the win. Anderson looks very happy, AJ leaves.


When we return, Gail Kim is being interviewed about Slammiversary. Gail is mad Mickie James has a title shot. Gail feels she is more deserving because she has taken out so many wrestlers lately, like Taryn Tyrrell.

At that moment, Taryn attacks Gail and violently pummels her. Gail runs away screaming that Taryn is crazy. James Storm walks to the ring to announce who his tag team partner will be at Slammiversary.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries come out. Roode claims the worst years of his life were the years he spent as Storm’s tag team partner. Roode also says one of the best days of his life was the day he smashed a beer bottle over James Storm’s head and became TNA champion. Aries and Roode will be one of the teams Storm will be facing at the PPV.

Bad Influence (Kaz and Daniels) come out next; they also will be part of the tag team title match at the next PPV. Daniels says they are better than the other tag teams and Kaz says Storm is a dumb dummy for not teaming up with Bad Influence. Storm has still not announced his partner when Shark Boy comes out.

Shark Boy appears to be recovered from drinking with Hogan earlier and gets the crowd to give him a “Shell yeah!!” Robbie E comes out next. Robbie claims he carried Rob Terry when they were partners, and he could probably carry Storm to. Robbie says they could call themselves “Beer Bro” or “America’s Most Bro” or possibly “two bros and a baby, we just need another bro!”

Shark Boy and Robbie start to argue when they interrupted by the returning Gunner! Gunner beats up Shark Boy and Robbie and then turns to Storm. Storm shakes his hand and says he’ll see him at Slammiversary.


In the back, Sting is talking to Joe Park. Sting wants Joe to get his brother Abyss to help with the fight against Aces and Eights. Joe doesn’t think he can do it, and Sting seems surprised that Park is still “Kayfabing” him.

Match #5: Mickie James versus Velvet Sky for the Knockouts title.

Before the match, Mickie offered to have the match postponed due to Velvet’s knee injury. Velvet appreciates that, but says she still wants to compete. They profess love for each other. Whenever someone professes love in TNA, a horrible betrayal usually follows.

Velvet starts the match off twisting Mickie’s arm. Mickie escapes and takes Velvet down with an arm drag. Mickie puts Velvet in a wrist lock but Velvet escapes and takes Mickie down. Mickie hits Velvet with a snapmare and Velvet responds with a drop toe hold.

Velvet hits Mickie with a low drop kick. The two knockouts exchange forearm shots until Mickie catches Velvet in a full nelson. Mickie slams Velvet down on her ass while keeping her trapped in the full nelson.


Mickie takes Velvet down with a snapmare and then pins her arms behind her head. Velvet escapes and hits Mickie with a forearm. Velvet hits Mickie with a pair of elbows and a pair of clotheslines. Velvet momentarily halts her offense because her knee appears to be in pain. Velvet lands a couple chops and a kick. Velvet goes for a hurricanrana but Mickie blocks it.

Velvet hits Mickie with a Side Russian Leg sweep and gets a 2 count. Mickie whips Velvet into the corner and hits her with a kick and a chop; Velvet responds with a pair of kicks. Velvet hits Mickie with a spinning hurricanrana, but appears to further injure her knee in the process.

While Velvet clutches at her knee, Mickie clips her bad knee from behind. Mickie plants Velvet’s head into the mat with a DDT for the win. Mickie James is the new TNA Knockouts champ! Mickie walks out of the ring celebrating while Velvet is still screaming in pain and clutching her knee. I think we just had our inevitable post “love declaration” betrayal.

In the Aces and Eights clubhouse, Bully Ray addresses his evil biker gang. Bully wants to know if D Lo got the ice for the beer and if he washed the bikes yet. D Lo replies that he did. D Lo is the red headed step child of Aces and Eights.


When we return, Bully Ray leads the rest of Aces and Eights to the ring. Bully Ray congratulates Anderson for beating Angle earlier tonight; another dig at D Lo, who lost to Angle in an “I quit” match recently.

Bully Ray calls AJ Styles out to the ring to officially induct him into Aces and Eights. AJ comes out, silent as he always is these days. Bully says everyone has been trying to recruit AJ, Hogan and the rest of TNA, even Fourtune, but AJ has made the right choice. Bully pulls out a couple beers and offers one to AJ.

Bully says he knows AJ doesn’t drink, but he wants them to share a beer know, as a sign of their new relationship. Bully says he can give his hear to Jesus, but his soul belongs to Aces and Eights. Kurt Angle comes out and he’s pissed off. Angle says he knew this day would come, but he is clearly unhappy about it.

Angle says that by joining Aces and Eights, AJ is flushing his entire legacy with TNA down the toilet. AJ puts the vest on and hugs Bully Ray and the rest of Aces and Eights. Kurt Angle gets jumped by Aces and Eights and dragged into ring. Bully offers AJ a hammer and invites him to attack Angle; AJ smashes Angle’s knee with the hammer to the delight of the rest of the gang.

Everyone in Aces and Eights is thrilled and they all look out at the crowd and celebrate. While they are all looking at the crowd, AJ is still eyeing the hammer like he isn’t done with it. AJ hits Doc in the face with the hammer and then starts swinging at the rest of the gang.

Tenay observes that Styles really does walk alone now. AJ walks to the back showing the “AJ” symbol on his gloves as Impact goes off the air.

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