IMPACT TV report for 04/18/2013

TNA begins with a recap of the title match between Bully Ray and Jeff Hardy last week. In the back, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco assure Devon that they can take care of Kurt Angle tonight. Wes and Garrett will be facing Angle in a handicap match, but Devon wants to make sure they don’t take him lightly. They seem over confident, Devon seems concerned.

Match #1:  Kurt Angle versus Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff. Wes goes in against Angle first and they lock up.  Angle gets behind Brisco and beats him down in the corner. Angle slams Brisco’s head into the corner and then whips him into the opposite corner.

Angle knocks Garrett Bischoff off the edge of the ring to the floor. Angle stomps on Brisco and then takes him down with a snap suplex. Brisco tags in Bischoff and Bischoff immediately gets hip tossed by Angle. Angle pummels Brisco for a while until Bischoff comes in to help; then Angle throws them both out of the ring.


Angle is stomping on Garrett when Brisco gets in a nut shot while the ref was distracted. Bischoff pounds on Angle for the next minute or two and applies a chin lock. Angle escapes by suplexing Bischoff.

Bischoff tags Brisco and Angle clotheslines him twice. Brisco is still in the ring and Angle clotheslines him twice as well. Angle hits Brisco with a German Suplex and then hits Bischoff with three German suplexes. Angle tries to suplex Brisco, Brisco tries to block it by holding onto Bischoff and Angle suplexes them both at the same time.

Angle goes for an Angle slam to Brisco when Aces and Eights arrive at ringside. Angle applies the ankle lock to Brisco, but Bischoff hits Angle in the back of the neck with a steel chain while the ref was distracted. Bischoff pins Angle for the win. Angle gets another beat down from Aces and Eights after the match. Mr. Anderson tells us that anyone not wearing an Aces and Eights shirt is in big trouble tonight.


Match #2: Petey Williams versus Zema Ion versus Kenny King for King’s X division title.

Lots of back and forth fast paced action to start the match off. King starts off looking strong until Petey Williams hits him with the Canadian Destroyer! Zema breaks up the pin attempt and King falls to the floor.

Williams and Zema argue and then exchange strikes. Williams hits Zema with a hurricanrana and a chop. Zema responds with a neckbreaker and stomps on Williams. Williams lands a few chops, but then Zema takes him down and applies a modified ½ crab. Williams hits Zema with a side Russian leg sweep and Zema responds with a jawbreaker.

Williams suicide dives out of the ring onto King and then re enters the ring. Williams and then hits Zema with a German suplex. Williams flies out of the ring again and this time hits King with a hurricanrana. Williams pulls Zema into the ring by his hair, but Zema snaps his neck on the ropes.

Zema hits Williams with a DDT and then climbs the top rope. Zema goes for a moonsault but Williams gets his knees up in time to block it. Williams gets the Sharp Shooter on Zema and has it locked in tight for a while. King re enters the ring and knocks Williams out of the ring with a running high knee. King covers Zema for the win!


Match #3:  Magnus versus Devon for the TC title.

The match never happens. Magnus gets beaten down by members of Aces and Eights before the match.  Magnus fights them off for a while, but eventually gets hit in the gut with a chain and power bombed onto the ramp. Samoa Joe comes out to make the save and Aces and Eights retreat.


When we return, Joe is screaming about the cowards in Aces and Eights.  Joe also says that he gets a match later tonight with Devon for the TV title.

Match #3:  Mickie James versus Miss Tessmacher with ODB as the Knockouts ref.

The two women lock up and jockey for position for the first couple minutes. Mickie lands the first kick and hits Tessmacher with a few short arm shoulder blocks. Mickie gets an armbar on Tessmacher, but Tessmacher gets to the ropes.

The two women exchange blows on the floor until ODB breaks it up and orders them back in the ring.  Tessmacher lands a couple kicks and a faceplant. Tessmacher clotheslines Mickie in the corner and then gives herself a wedgie. Tessmacher then grinds her ass for a long time into Mickie’s face.  Mickie slams Tessmacher’s face into the corner and then hits her with a flapjack.

Mickie goes to the top rope and hits Tessmacher with a flying Thesz Press for a near fall. Mickie mounts and pounds Tessmacher. Tessmacher gets to her feet and they both land a clothesline at the same time. The two women slam each the other’s face into the mat and exchange pin attempts and reversals. After a series of reversals Mickie covers Tessmacher for the win!

In the back, Joe Park is on the phone and is apparently still trying to get Brooke’s marriage to Bully Ray annulled. Devon takes his phone and tells him to stay out of family business. Bully Ray cheap shots Joe and tells him that he’s Brooke’s husband and he knows what’s best for her. Aces and Eights leave Joe Park in tears and laugh at him as he cries.


Kaz and Daniels make their way to the ring and brag about how great things are going for them lately. They even claim a “Bad Influence” movie in the works and that Morgan Freeman will be playing Dixie Carter.

Morgan Freeman is a very good actor, but that may be a little too much for him to pull off. I bet Merry Streep could play Morgan Freeman playing Dixie Carter and pull it off. She’s pretty awesome. Kaz gives the fans permission to worship them.  Bad Influence is interrupted by Austin Aries and Bobby Roode.

Roode and Aries claim that they are the real #1 contenders for the tag title because Chavo and Hernandez beat them in a fluke. Daniels claims that Roode’s opinion only counts for ¾ of an opinion because he’s Canadian, and Aries replies that his opinion counts for 1 and ¼, so they have 2 opinions between them.

Then Aries implies Kaz and Daniels are gay lovers with several comments about them spending all their time oiling each other up and putting meat in their mouths. Chavo and Hernandez sneak up behind Roode and Aries; Kaz and Daniels see them and back out of the ring. Roode and Aries think Kaz and Daniels are retreating and never see the attack coming. Chavo and Hernandez knock Roode and Aries out of the ring.


When we return, several TNA stars lament the presence of Aces and Eights. Matt Morgan watches and laughs.  He says this is all Hogan’s fault and could have been easily avoided if Hogan had just done the right thing.

Morgan claims Hogan’s mistakes keep piling up: 1) He should have made Matt Morgan #1 contender, 2) he trusted Bully Ray, 3) he pushed Sting away, and 4) he’s responsible for Jeff Hardy getting taken out on a stretcher.

Match #4:  Samoa Joe versus Devon for the TV title.

Devon lands a cheap shot before Joe is ready and takes the early advantage. Joe responds by slamming Devon into the corner and pummeling him. Joe takes Devon down with a snapmare and then lands a chop, a kick, and a knee drop. Joe gets the rear naked choke on but Devon rolls out of it and hits Joe with a spear.

Joe lands a couple punches and Devon responds with a robust eye rake. Devon hits Joe with a boot to the chest in the corner, a punch, and then applies a chin lock. Joe escapes from the chin lock with an elbow strike. Joe lands a couple punches, runs into Devon back first in the corner, and then hits him with an enzuigiri.

Joe sets Devon up for the muscle buster, but Mr. Anderson hits Joe from behind with brass knuckles from behind while the ref was watching the rest of Aces and Eights around the ring.  Devon rolls Joe up and gets the win. After the match Joe gets hit with the brass knuckles again.


Match #5:  AJ Styles versus James Storm.

AJ starts to walk away before the match even starts and Storm goes after him. Storm attempts a suplex but AJ blocks it and lands a punch. Storm nearly powerbombs AJ onto the ramp but AJ slides out of it and lands another punch.

Storm lands a punch of his own and a dazed AJ slips under the bottom rope and into the ring; the ref rings the bell to start the match. AJ hits Storm with a couple shoulder blocks in the corner and Storm retaliates with a running high knee. Storm mounts and pounds AJ and then puts him in a headlock.  AJ whips Storm into the corner and leapfrogs him, then trips him when he comes back of the ropes.


AJ hits Storm with a vertical suplex, a kick, and then applies a chin lock. Storm fights his way out and they exchange punches. Storm lands a flying forearm and follows up with a clothesline.  Storm backdrops AJ and then hits him with a spinning bulldog. Storm lands a chop and then props AJ up on the top rope. Storm tries for a superplex but AJ blocks it and trips Storm up.

Strom’s legs get caught up in the top rope as he fell, causing him to get suspended upside down in the corner.  AJ lands a dropkick to Storm’s midsection while he hangs in the corner. Bad Influence (Kaz and Daniels) make their way to the ring.

Storm hits AJ with a backstabber, and then follows up with a clothesline that sends them both to the floor. AJ slams Storm into the steps and the steel barrier. They re enter the ring and Storm hits Closing time. Storm goes for the super kick, but AJ catches it and twists Storm’s ankle.  AJ applies a new submission hold to Storm and Storm taps out. AJ Wins!

Kaz and Daniels enter the ring to congratulate AJ and raise his hands. AJ smiles a little at first, but then clotheslines Kaz and dropkicks Daniels out of the ring. Aces and Eights enter the ring en masse and beat down James Storm, and then they beat down Kaz and Daniels as well.

AJ just walks away without looking back. Bully Ray asks if we know who he is, and if we know who they are. Bully brags about destroying Jeff Hardy, and brags about the destruction they’ve caused tonight. Bully claims TNA has no heroes left, only victims. Bully tells us that when you ride with Aces and Eights, you never walk alone.

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