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Collision TV report for 05/18/2024

Venue: Moda Center, Portland, OR

Any of y’all catch that interview with Takeshita?  Seems dude is as frustrated with how he’s being used as we are.  Gist: He’s never enjoyed any part of his time in AEW and thinks he should get more tv time.  But doesn’t, in part because he’s Asian.

The exerts are on wrestlinginc if you’re interested.

*****

Can’t say AEW don’t do comedy: there’s a ‘jam-packed crowd’ here in Portland per Schiavone.  Could swear there were more than 3,000 people when Dame sent the Thunder packing.

More intentionally funny – Nigel said Ospreay cites him as one of his big influences.  ‘Did you read that?’ asked Schiavone.  ‘No, I just made it up,’ admitted McGuinness.

Will Ospreay vs Shane Taylor

Backstory: Taylor laid out Ospreay last week

Ospreay out first to a nice ovation.  Then Taylor and co.  And the stars keep coming – Rowdy Roderick and the Disputed Kingdom out to observe.  In fact, they’ve decided for the third show in a row to highlight Strong’s talking, so he’s joining on comms.

Ospreay rushed Taylor with a dropkick, vaulting press outside, diving lariat off the top, Taylor out at two.  Taylor ‘leapfrogged’ Ospreay then nailed a Vader-style body smash.  Crowd chanting for Will as he fired back with forearms.  Until a single one from Taylor left him laying on the apron.

Taven threatened to interfere but the ref actually spotted it.  Taylor aimed an open hand at the chest, in between jawing with the DK.  Ospreay went for a tornado ddt off the ringpost, Taylor blocked it but was shoved into the DK, leaving Ospreay to dump water on Strong.

Guess it was a big week for suggesting throwing beverages during booking meetings.

Ads.

Taylor wailing away, Ospreay trying to fire up, exchange of chops begetting a corkscrew kick, bootwash in the corner, to the top, forearm to the back of the head, just about two.  Hidden Blade cut off by Taylor, uranage, standing splash for two.

Ospreay slipped to the shoulders seeking a rana, but was muscled back up and absolutely annihilated by a last ride, popping right up to be lariated back down.  For another near fall.  Ospreay was blocked from the Oscutter by the Kingdom hitting the apron so had to use a different side of the ring, allowing Taylor to get two after countering.

Ubiquitous TiA chant as Ospreay caught Taylor climbing the buckle, hit thrust kicks in the corner then dragged the big man onto his shoulders for a Storm Driver to win.

Strong’s glasses were broken after Taylor crashed into them earlier, he distracted Ospreay but the Brit fought off the Kingdom then fled up the ramp, smiling and making the belt gesture.

Decent action; pretty pointless.

Winner: Will Ospreay

Continuing the unintentional comedy, the Elite, with all their millions of dollars, have put a price on Team AEW’s head.  Yet could only afford the Righteous and Lance Archer.

Danielson said the Elite should have come to collect themselves.  He and FTR said it’s ‘going to take a lot more than the Righteous and Lance Archer’ to take them out.

Err, yep.

*****

Moxley and Claudio.

Mox said Takeshita’s been a ‘hell of a blue chipper for quite some time.’

Then noted Take’d come after him trying to ‘put a big ol’ notch’ on his belt.  When you get to where Mox is, you get used to being a target.  Guys like the Family are into gold and green and adulation.  BCC ‘don’t give a rat’s ass’ about any of that.  They hunt because they’re lions, not because they’re hungry.  They like it.  They don’t play for money, they play for blood.

Claudio said things keep repeating.  He made fun of the entire pretext of a promo.  And said everything other wrestlers say is fake, they don’t really live it.  And only the BCC can see what’s real.  Shots at Kingston?  Surely not again.  Weird.

Moxley said Takeshita started it and the BCC will finish it.

Moxley’s delivery’s always top notch; this felt empty and generic, probably because the feud is and there’s not really anything for the former AEW champ to work with.

*****

Jericho and Big Bill promo after Dynamite.  Jericho said Hook making him bleed ‘makes me proud.’  It’s what he’s here for, to make Hook a better person in and out of the ring.  So he wants to thank Hook and wished him the best for his match tonight.

All deliberately disingenuous of course.

Bill doesn’t seem to have quite the swagger he had alongside Starks.  Was basically limited to ‘That’s right, Chris.’

Johnny TV vs Hook

Backstory: NONE

Nigel yelled at Tony to put his phone away and stop filming as TV and Taya made out, in what will probably be the high point here.

Lots of stalling and etc until TV hit a running knee strike for two.  Shots from the mount, crowd trying to get themselves into it with a dueling chant as TV rode Hook on the mat.  Cravate now, ‘Johnny TV is as strong as they come,’ said Schiavone.  Definitely near the top of my list.

Hook recovered to nail a lariat and a pair of throws.  TV hit a jawbreaker, exchange of forearms, Taya hit the apron before Hook even moved toward it, distracting him before TV missed his split-leg finish.

Redrum, tap.  As always, props for actually tapping.  Otherwise, a nothing match which achieved, well, nothing.  And which qualifies Hook for another match Wednesday or something.  AEW doing their usual stellar job of laying out a tournament/set of rules.

Hook was leaving up the ramp when they did the two rivals wrestle back-to-back thing as  Shibata came out and gave Hook dap.  Which was reciprocated.

Winner: Hook

Katsuyori Shibata vs Rocky Romero

Backstory: NONE

Series of standing switches, each looking for the advantage via arm and leg holds until Shibata leveraged Romero down.  Right back up, he was taken down again, firing knees to the gut then whipping Shibata off but telegraphing a drop-down and being stomped, Shibata pivoting silkily into a figure four.

But too near the ropes.

Shibata hit the ropes and was snatched into an iron octopus.  But powered up and out, grabbing the leg, back down into the leg lock.  He ran Romero to the buckle, series of rights and lifters, Romero got his boots up to block the dropkick, uppercut, tornado ddt, Shibata trying to pop back up but collapsing down.

That’s a nice touch to add some realism, like it.

Ads.

Shibata walked through Romero’s kicks and knocked him on his ass.  Hauling him up to nail a series of chops in the ropes but being bridged to the apron, grabbing a sleeper from out there until Romero snapped his arm across the top rope.

Then draped him across the rope and nailed a kick to the head from the top.  Shibata blocked sliced bread and began targeting the knee, gorgeous legtrip into a leg lock as the crowd yelled ‘tap!’ then booed when Rocky got the ropes.

Shibata flurry, Romero down in the corner, running dropkick, overhead throw, two count.  Back to the Shibata sleeper, Romero hooked the legs for a cradle and two, same from a backslide, Shibata ducked one enziguri but took a heel kick for another near fall.

Romero was hauled onto Shibata’s shoulders: DVD into a backbreaker, PK, back to the leglock, furious tap.

Very nice match – clean, simple story and good action.  And didn’t go too long.  Shibata too advances to whatever the hell that is on Wednesday.  He and Romero shook.

Winner: Katsuyori Shibata

Bryan Keith vs Boulder

Backstory: NONE

They repeated the same thing, Keith coming down the ramp as Shibata was leaving.  So this is to find out who’s taking the pin Wednesday right?

Whoever the dude with the Boulder guys is (Jameson or something?) cut the most generic ‘heel heat’ promo.  Then Boulder raced at Keith before the bell rang.  Keith tried to fight back but took a big boot.  Schiavone described the Boulder guys as ‘a successful tag team.’  They should ask for one of them there Eliminators.

The other heels hit the apron, which makes three times in four matches, the distraction backfired, allowing Keith to take over and win with his finish off the top.  The usual very good Portland crowd are up for almost anything tonight; this didn’t make the cut.

So who the hell was I supposed to care about here? AEW Dark lives on.

Winner: Bryan Keith

Pac backstage in a dark room.

Lexy asked if he wanted to respond to BCG.  Pac said he couldn’t care less – ‘they’re very funny chaps, hilarious in fact.’  Normally, ‘their naughty behavior’ would rattle him.  But he hasn’t felt a thing in weeks.  And now he’s expected to care about those idiots?

He challenged BCG to make him feel anything, make him care, ‘try harder, make…me…care.’

He told Lexy to leave him alone.  She left.

Excellent character stuff from Pac who basically snapped after losing to Okada.  Love his delivery.  Much like Jay White, he doesn’t sound like other wrestlers when he talks.

*****

They recapped Willow/Mercedes from Weds, including the killer final line.  They’ve done a better job than usual recapping Dynamite tonight actually.

*****

And now…

By order of the Bang Bang Gang!

The lights came up on their entrance and Jay White had a groggy Pac laid out beneath him.  ‘I bet you care now, don’t you? … Bastard.’

They left.

*****

Christian and the Patriarchy.

Nick’s facing Swerve Wednesday.  Cage said he believes in him.  Wayne said he’s now a man so he knows he can beat Strickland ‘on my own.’  He walked off.  Cage smiled like a proud papa.

Orange Cassidy vs Isiah Kassidy

Backstory: NONE

We still need matches for Saturday…

*Scans roster*

Hey, d’you ever notice this guy’s called Cassidy and *this* guy’s called Kassidy?  (Giggles)

Again, Isiah seemed to fall outside almost anything as far as this crowd were concerned.  The announcers keep talking about something to do with Cassidy and Callis which happened earlier or something but which they’ve never shown.

Cassidy ran through his pockets routine sans pockets.  Isiah hit an armdrag, they exchanged roll ups for near falls.  Lots of them.  A very lot.  Until Isiah fell on his ass in fear of the Punch.  And bailed outside.

Crowd laughed.  Callis shown watching backstage.

Orange did more comedy based around breaking the ref’s count.  Then got the pockets outside and hit a running shotgun.  Orange well on top as Trent made his way down the aisle through the crowd.

Allowing Isiah to hit a belly to back on the barricade, miss off the top back inside but recover to hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.  Crowd very quiet again.  Not into Isiah at all.  Cassidy took a whip and spilled outside.

Ads.

Both struggling to their feet, yay/boo, Cassidy countered a suplex into stundog, tornado ddt, Isiah groggy, Cassidy just about kipping up, flinging his pad at Trent before readying the Punch.  Which was ducked, Isiah countered beach break too into a roll up, then hit a spinning kick to the face.

Isiah continued to avoid Cassidy, then countered being run into the buckle from the apron into a cutter.  They exchanged boots out there until each hit pump kicks, Orange crashing down outside, conveniently scooting himself backward toward where Trent is.  They got into it of course, Kassidy used the distraction to use the ref to hit silly string, then hit another cutter, then went upstairs and hit a swanton.

Very near fall.

Crowd chanting for Orange now as he hit ‘beach break outta nowhere,’ to quote Schiavone.  Which was not inaccurate.

Would’ve liked to see Orange come out pissed off here after everything that’s happened.  Too much comedy.  If AEW were in the business of getting wrestlers over, Cassidy nailing the Punch and winning emphatically after launching the pad at Trent would’ve been perfect.

But they’re in the ‘good match’ business.

Lexy went to talk to Trent.  He said after watching, it’s clear he’s a better professional wrestler than Orange.  And only lost two weeks ago because he cheated.  Orange is a sociopath: ‘Rules matter!’ he yelled.  He started to challenge Orange to a plain ol’ wrestling match when Orange flew at him and Beretta bailed.

Decent mic work from Trent there and not a bad angle.

Winner: Orange Cassidy

Serena Deeb vs Anna Jay

Backstory: NONE

Deeb threw something at Jay to distract her then rushed her and hit a swinging neckbreaker for two.  Then looked like she was struggling to get a hold on, but actually was putting the paradise lock on.  Cringe AF.  Just rotten.

Anna hit back with a nice diving neckbreaker, suplex/throw, Deeb got her feet up in the corner and hit a draping neckbreaker across the middle rope.

Ads.

Anna hiptossed free of an octopus, running forearm, back elbow, another in the corner, running back kick, flatliner for two.  Really nice stuff from Anna there, fast and crisp.  A weak exchange followed though as she ducked a couple lariats until being taken down, going to the corner where Serena caught her foot, dragon screwing her against the ropes.

Standing switches leading to a release German from Deeb, hammerlock into a lariat for two.  Crowd behind Serena here as she searches for a piledriver.  Anna got free then a stutter-y spot saw Deeb land a  chop block, Anna briefly got the Queen Slayer and looked for Gory Special but her knee gave way.

Serena got the Serenity Lock for the tap.  Lots of those tonight.

As Luther came down and grabbed Serena’s banner.  Serena saw that happening but decided not to bother doing anything about it.

Serena continued to just watch impotently as Mariah came out to hold the banner with Luther.  Toni then came out and stripped behind the banner before being wrapped in it.  No idea why that’s supposed to make someone angry.  Not that Serena really was.

Until she finally decided that she’d sprint at Toni but stop awkwardly when she could’ve easily caught her.  Cheap storytelling, badly carried out.  How this was intended to make people want to see this match is anybody’s guess.

Winner: Serena Deeb

Swerve package pushing his feud with Cage and the Elite.

Jack Cartwheel vs Nick Wayne

Backstory: NONE

‘Good match’ alert:

  • Guy most people have never heard of with a rep on the indies
  • AEW regular who hasn’t had much tv time lately
  • And is suddenly involved in a high-profile angle
  • So needs a win
  • On a show with not much happening i.e. there’s time to fill

Wayne rushed Jack but then kept missing cause Jack kept doing his second name.  Jack then tejeiras-ed him outside but missed a space flying tiger drop.  Which looked sore as hell.

Wayne aimed kicks back inside.  His shoulder’s taped despite the fact he hasn’t wrestled in ages which probably isn’t a good thing.  He hit Wayne’s World.  Then hit house call after talking trash to Swerve into the camera.

If you GAS about seeing Swerve get another very obvious win, you might be looking forward to that Wednesday. At least this wasn’t a ‘good match,’ it was designed to get somebody over.

Winner: Nick Wayne

Bryan Danielson & FTR vs Lance Archer & the Righteous

Backstory: NONE

Just hilarious – again, unintentionally – listening to Nigel talk about the faces as ‘marked men.’  They gonna get clicked into missing the match next week?

Dax and Vincent to start.  Vincent on top in the corner until Dax escaped to tag his partner.  Cash got two after a double team.  Then grabbed a headlock but was whipped off and hit with a back elbow.  To silence.

Dutch in, body slam to Cash, Cash ducked a boot, series of jabs, ducking a big right, dropkick, tag to Dax, double Russian legsweep, Dutch flung Dax off at two.  Crowd chanting for Danielson.  As Dax hit a bulldog from the top.  Everyone came in, to not much of a reaction, things spilled outside.

Ads.

Vincent and Dax once more, Dax leaping off the top into a boot after being distracted by Dutch.  Archer in for the first time, shot to the gut, another to the head, pair of running charges in the corner, a third missing but Archer recovered to goozle Dax then seek Blackout.

Dax bit his way free but Archer hit a step-up knee strike with Dax still atop the buckle to an ‘oooh’ from the crowd (always baffled why they don’t do more with him).  Archer made a blind tag, Dutch missed an elbow drop, Danielson in to a big cheer, chops and kicks in the corner, kip off the buckle, ducking a lariat, diving one of his own, crowd the loudest they’ve been in a while.

Until Dutch ducked a roundhouse but took a tope outside.  BD shotgun from the top back inside, Cash took care of Vincent, Danielson sought the LeBell on Dutch and finally got it but Archer instantly broke it up and hit a big spinebuster to Cash and chokeslam to Dax before the heels tripled up on Danielson.

Archer missed a charge outside, FTR setup a powerplex on Vincent.  And hit.  Dutch splashed his own partner after Cash moved, Archer took out Cash with a big boot and sought the Blackout.  But BD nailed a busaiku knee though ran into a Bossman slam from Dutch, Cash took him out, then was rolled up by Vincent for two.  Cash elevated out of a belly to back then was elevated over again by his own partner to setup the Shatter Machine in a creative finish.

Happy they’re trying to establish some camaraderie among this weird ‘Team AEW’ group.  Just wish it wasn’t at the expense of a match against someone we knew categorically they’d beat.  Also, didn’t really feel like the heels were trying to take out the faces, just felt like they were trying to win a match.  Wasn’t wrestled like there was a bounty.

Though afterward Danielson was favoring his neck and the heels went after the faces.  To very light, droning booing.  Which is what happens with heels fans don’t care a lick about.  Archer wailed away with a chair on Dax.  Then hit a Blackout on a chair to Cash.

All to essentially continuing silence.  Until ‘longtime FTR friend Daniel Garcia’ hit the scene.  And cleaned house.  He’s ‘standing up for AEW’ apparently.  This storyline is weird.  Standing up for his friends.  Sure.  Standing up for the good guys.  Sure.  Standing up for AEW?  How?  In what way?

If you’re wondering why Darby Allin didn’t come out, well, by his own admission he’s still limping on his broken foot.

He should not be going anywhere near a ring anytime soon.

Winner: Bryan Danielson & FTR

_________________________________________________________________________

Next Dynamite:

  • Hook vs Shibata vs Bryan Keith (FTW Title Eliminator)
  • Swerve vs Nick Wayne
  • Cassidy & Ospreay vs Beretta & Strong

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Pac’s promo
  • Shibata vs Rocky
  • They did actually build some stuff for the ppv here – faint praise but praise nonetheless

 *****

  • Lots of interference
  • A baffling card full of nothing matches from a group who sold less than 3,000 tickets in an NBA arena – hard to imagine anyone who was on the fence will be experiencing FOMO next time they’re in town
  • Can we get a Jay White match? Or Takeshita?  Somebody who at least benefits from winning on tv so that next time they lose to a big name they have visible momentum
  • The paradise lock – that thing’s just BS, especially for a wrestler like Serena whose thing is that she’s very believable

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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