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Collision TV report for 03/02/2024

Venue: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Al.

*****

Al(ert) Angle vs Buddy Matthews

Backstory: NONE

It’s so rare Buddy wrestles that I still don’t recognize his music.

The usual light tricks involving the HOB, except this time it worked against them – Mark Briscoe using the darkness to blindside Matthews at ringside, chair shot to the back then using it to propel himself into a cannonball up and over onto Buddy at ringside.

He then grabbed a/that same spike the HOB used against him – who knows? – but the other HOB came down.  Though Briscoe fought them all off with the help of a chair and was going to literally murder Black with the spike until Buddy flew in with a kick.

Though was body dropped onto the ramp before Briscoe flung himself off via cross body as they brawled to the side of the stage.  And Briscoe got his hands on the pyro controls.

Apparently spikes are fine but fire is not since security finally came out.  Briscoe still tried to set Matthews’ face against the pyro and set it off.  Security grabbed him again, Buddy bailed along with the rest of the House.

Briscoe set the pyro off several times before we raced away, the announcers blithely moving on from someone trying to burn another man alive.

Winner: No Contest, dare I say no match ever existed

Swerve after Wednesday.  He didn’t know if he should be more annoyed at Hangman ripping his $2000 blahblahblah brand ‘exclusive’ jacket or ‘being too nice’.  He said he let his guard down and in this business you pay for that.  And he did (he was holding his neck here).  It’s fitting Page swerved someone called Swerve but now he’ll never take his eyes off Page again.

And he’ll do what it takes to beat Joe – something about ‘humiliating him on social media’ – and walk out the first African-American AEW champ.

So a ‘babyface’ who brags about his expensive clothes, then talks about doing whatever it takes to win then about being the first ever minority champion.

Par for the course now with Swerve who seems to understand his character about as well as MJF did at the back end of last year.

Penta vs Bryan Keith vs Dante Martin

Backstory: Winner gets into the 8-man scramble

Fans here firmly behind Penta as this started.  Not that it counted for much – the crowd here is tiny even by recent standards.

He did his whole zero miedo, gloves off routine until Keith smacked him.  Penta hit back to blast both in the thigh but took a double thrust kick which sent him outside.  Dante ducked and dodged, hit ranas and leaping knees, Penta now in as Keith departed.  Slingblade, another, thrust kick, backstabber, Dante’s turn to leave.

Keith back in to nail Penta then fling him almost back onto his front via exploder.  They exchanged open hands and forearms, slugging it out in the middle until Dante came back via cross body off the top.

Then nailed topes on opposite sides to each.

Ads.  Fun start, if a little predictable in that it’s the usual one guy leaves, the other two fight, rinse and repeat style.

Back to a superkick party, Nigel thinking the same thing as he called it an homage to the EVP’s.  Penta blocked a blockbuster then used Keith’s back to spring into a destroyer on Martin for the first pin attempt of the match and a two count.

Keith countered a springboard; Penta countered out but was shoved off the buckle down to ringside.  Dante still down but hooking Keith into a cradle for two.  Sans Penta this crowd is almost silent.  Keith hit an underhook powerbomb for two.

Penta returned, gamengiri from the apron, Keith battling out there with him, exchanging slaps, Penta fought out of a DVD and hit a fear factor, Dante blocked him from pinning Keith then hit a destroyer on the apron.  Keith still down, Dante went upstairs, frogsplash for the win.

I kind of expected them not to go with Penta but it’s still disappointing.  Guess they need a flyer in the match.  Just hope Dante doesn’t destroy his knee again doing something crazy.

Winner: Dante Martin

Hangman this time from Weds.  He looked maniacal again and ranted above how he wishes he didn’t have to do that to the people (lie to them about his injury) but he’d rather die than have Swerve become champ.  He said this repeatedly and vowed Strickland would not win Sunday.

This character’s sensational.  He was great here.  Totally believable as a guy who’s absolutely lost it.  And is slipping further by the day.

Mariah May vs Angelica Risk

Backstory: NONE

May hit a multi-spin sidewalk slam then posed and blew a kiss at Nigel, who’d been fawning over her since she came out.  He collapsed off his chair and became catatonic.

She then used her boot to choke Risk while posing on the top rope, low shotgun dropkick, brushing boots, Risk fought back briefly but took a stiff forearm and an absolutely vicious knee strike, my god that was stiff.

Mayday, win.  Short but impressive.  There’s a crispness to May missing in some of the other younger women.

Toni Storm’s music interrupted the celebrations, May was all excited but Storm ignored her and asked Deonna to come out since she needed to speak to her.  Storm was very serious here and Purrazzo was in street clothes.

They did the usual half black and white, half color screen and Toni asked hadn’t they gone far enough.  Is this what they worked and starved for?  ‘A broken leg, a broken arm, all just to win a match, is it worth it?’

The crowd yelled ‘yes!’.

Storm then said she ‘loves’ Deonna from the bottom of her heart. Her ability, her determination, and the fact that there is only room for one of them and as long as she lives ‘it will never be you’.

Deonna said she ‘loves’ that Storm has her head so far up her ass that she’s going to lose the thing that started ‘this whole charade’ to begin with.  And hopes Storm has a bidet because it’s going to be really hard to wipe her ass when Deonna breaks both of her arms.

That’s a killer line.

Storm said ‘goodbye old friend’, applied lipstick then gave her a goodbye kiss/the kiss of death.  Deonna attacked until Mariah May dragged her off.  Storm legged it outside to Luther, May took a pump kick and a Storm Zero.  The announcers asked why Storm wasn’t helping Mariah.

Very nice angle.  The build for this has been good.

Winner: Mariah May

Acclaimed & Austin Gunn vs Dark Order

Backstory: The BBSG decided this would be this week’s trio during their weekly purposeless segment

This BCG theme is the only thing making this act palatable.  Such a banger.

This time Caster’s rap was stopped by Jay knocking CardJuice into him.  He then just gave up on doing it.  Bowens then said the same lines he’s been saying for like nineteen years.

The announcers contrasted the egos in the BBSG with the Dark Order, who work together.

Reynolds and Gunn started, Austin ducked a lariat several times then tripped Reynolds.  Schiavone mentioned the Gunns had been tag champs.  Which I had utterly and completely forgotten.

Caster in, he hit a Russian legsweep, scoop slam to Uno, Bowens hit scissor me timbers.  He wanted to scissor, the other two didn’t notice, the DO returned and took the upper hand as Uno got two.

Ads.

Back to a Bowens hot tag, rolling strikes and thrust kicks, over the shoulder fameasser, dude is so good.  He stopped to pose though and Uno dragged him out and shoved him into the post.  Silver hit a tope, he and Billy then got into it.

The Order then hit a triple team finisher with the BBSG distracted and nearly stole the win.

Silver hit a rebound German to send Austin out, Bowens countered a double team, Caster tagged himself in and hit Mic Drop to win.

Was really hoping they’d lose here so we can end this crap.  The Gunns and Caster pretended their belts were penises.

Winner: Acclaimed & Austin Gunn

Lexy with Stokely, Statlander and Willow.  They’ll be teaming against Skye Blue and Julia Hart on the pre-show.  Stokely apologized for costing Stat Weds and kept trying to lean on Statlander who kept shaking him off.

Willow told him to stop talking and said they needed to get on the same page.  Then got all serious and spoke into the camera to tell the heels that ‘I am gonna kick your ass’.

That’s two acts in a row which seem totally purposeless and ‘aren’t on the same page’.

*****

Schiavone called Wardlow to the ring.  Just noticed the UK theme has a bit of Adam Cole’s in it.

He said two years ago he won the Face of the Revolution ladder match, last year ‘I choked out your king’ (was that Joe?).  This year, finally, he’ll get his shot at the world title after he beats the other ‘all stars’ (he said this mockingly using finger quotes) in the match.

The only question is who he’ll face.  If it’s Page, he’ll slap his moustache into the third row and send him ‘back into depression’ (presumably he means the mental state rather than the 1920s, though Hangman could then link up with Storm…).

If it’s Swerve, he said it wasn’t Swerve’s house, he’ll kick the door down and whip his ass from the basement to the attic because no-one else gets to eat.  He told him to ‘dance your ass to the back of the line’, while mockingly doing the Nana Dance.

Or might it be Samoa Joe?  Crowd chanted for Joe, who probably got the best reaction of the three.  He’s sick of hearing the ‘dumb hillbillies’ chant for the champ.  Cause everyone knows ‘you’re in my spot’ and this time he’ll finish the job.  He’ll take his spot, his title and beat Joe so bad he’ll have to put on a headset and go back to announcing (did Wardlow miss Dynamite?).

He then called himself Him.  He’s always been Him.  He’s the uncrowned king and tomorrow he’ll show that because ‘this is no longer wrestling, this is war’.

Jericho interrupted and asked exactly why he was talking about the guys competing for the title.  Since he’s got seven guys to get through first.  He called himself one of the greatest to ever do this.  So if Wardlow thinks he’s going to just walk through that match he should think again.  Jericho listed his credentials, including eight world titles.  Which means he’s up 8-0 on Wardlow who ‘ain’t won shit’.

It’s been four years since he lost the title to Moxley in ‘one of the greatest matches in AEW history’ (funny how every match of his Jericho ever refers to is ‘one of the greatest…’).  And he hasn’t sniffed the title since then so wants to get back there.  He knows he’s good enough, ‘Wardlow – are you?’.

He mocked Wardlow for self-pity and said maybe he just wasn’t good enough, then called him ‘Mike’.  The crowd chanted ‘Mike’.  I’m assuming that’s Wardlow’s real name.

Wardlow talked about being atop the mountain and every week becoming a step down.  He let it eat at him and ruin his personal life.  He lost his best friend and himself because of it.  But after sitting home for three months with no explanation he remembered who he is and picked himself up and put himself back together and came back to remind us all just who the hell he is.

He’s the biggest, baddest SOB to ever step foot in a ring.  He doesn’t care how many titles Jericho has, he’s ‘done eating your scraps’.  If Jericho thinks he’s not good enough, he should feel free to come try him.

Jericho said he’d do just that but was blindsided by Will Hobbs.  Crowd booed, Wardlow smirked.  The crowd chanted ‘Meat!’.

Some good points, some good lines – particularly re: Swerve; the second anyone uses a real name to try to make something seem ‘real’, they’ve already failed.  If something is so uninteresting as to necessitate that, it probably shouldn’t be on tv.  It certainly shouldn’t be used for a thrown together 8-man.

They also made it pretty clear there are only three possible winners here.  You’d think they might play into Hook getting another crack at Joe.

*****

We then legged it backstage to Serena Deeb in a very nice dress.  With Lexy.  She said she’s undefeated and undeniable.  Nobody’s really challenged her in the ring.  She doesn’t think the competition she’s faced knows the difference between a wristlock and a wristwatch.

‘So if you’re listening, if you’re watching, if you consider yourself one of the best, step into Deeb’s Dojo’ and ‘test yourself against the most elite wrestler’.

I know I said last week it’d be a hell of a match between her and Sasha.  And I’m sure it will.  But this can’t be what they have planned for Sasha’s debut.  Serena’s so incredibly wooden as a talker and frankly isn’t over beyond fans politely respecting her ability.

Private Party vs Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal

Backstory: NONE

The crowd aren’t even interested enough in PP to chant ‘shots’ anymore.  So they’re at about my level of interest in this match.

It’s so quiet you can hear Matt Sydal talk ‘trash’.  The lamest trash talk you’ve ever heard.  Because it’s Matt Sydal.

He got the better of Isiah, Daniels came in to prevent a two on one.  He and Quen then tagged in and a light ‘Fallen Angel’ chant started.  Quen rolled over a drop down and chanted ‘shots!’.  Then walked over Daniels and did the same.

Daniels returned the favor then did some of his Curryman stuff.  Thank god for something entertaining.  The faces then did some nice double teaming into a Daniels STO.  Isiah made the save after a Sydal standing splash.

The faces making lots of quick tags, Daniels got two after a stiff kick.

Ads.

Sydal came in with a lot of nice kicks – leaping and grounded.  Then hit a double rana to both Partiers.  Air raid crash for two on Quen.

After another flurry of kicks, he tagged Daniels who was caught in the midsection but Sydal helped him nail double lariats, Isiah blocked Angel’s Wings, Quen missed ridiculously badly with a Pele kick, took Angel’s Wings but Jeff Jarrett and all those losers came down.  Rick Knox is literally the dumbest person on earth since he somehow missed Jay Lethal hitting Lethal Combination to Daniels as Quen won.

Everytime I’m coming round on AEW’s booking they do something like this.  It helps no-one.  WWE learned that the hard way.  Booking like this is the entire reason there was enough of a demand for a brand new company to meet the needs of fans whose needs weren’t being met.

As a student of wrestling history, Tony Khan should understand this.  But doesn’t seem to.

Winner: Private Party

Kingston/Danielson package with Eddie talking over clips of their feud.  Kingston talked about turning Danielson’s ‘King of the Bums’ jibe into him being king of the underdogs, anyone who’s ever been beaten down.  He dimissed Danielson saying he’s wasted his talent, just because he didn’t do it ‘your way’.

He cant hurt Bryan physically but he can hurt him mentally.  If Danielson loses again, can he live with that?

Excellent package.  Eddie Kingston was speaking so it’s damn near guaranteed to be very good.  I realize variety’s the spice of life but it’s baffling how the same company can produce the past two segments.  They’re polar opposites.

Thunder Rosa vs Cassandra Golden

Backstory: NONE

Rosa aimed knees at the larger Golden, the crowd chanted her name, the announcers made lots of references to people called Golden, including ‘Sterling Golden – whatever happened to that guy?’.  That’s Hulk Hogan brother.

Rosa tried to lift Golden onto her back but couldn’t do it.  Kelly said she was looking to fully test her back after returning from injury.  She hit a running dropkick in the corner, diving stomp to the back which looked like it sucked to take.

She then tapped her out.

Before speaking into the camera that she was still here and ‘know you wanna push me aside’ but she won’t let that happen.

I like to imagine Mercedes sitting at home noting the number of shows with two women’s segments, nodding her head as she ticks another off.

Winner: Thunder Rosa

They replayed the show long angle between the Bucks, Sting and Darby from Dynamite.  They made it seem very dramatic – nice job.

Orange Cassidy, Trent, Hook & Daniel Garcia vs Christian Cage, Killswitch, Roderick Strong and Brian Cage

Backstory: Mixes in a number of feuds ahead of the ppv – OC/Strong; Garcia/Christian; Hook/Cage

So which of the obvious three takes the pin here?  Who’s your money on?  I’m going with Trent.

Wow, Christian got absolutely zero reaction here.  Bit surprising.  Matt Menard joined on comms.

Trent and Cage (Brian, I’ll use Christian for Christian) to get us going.  Trent ducking and dodging lariats until being run over by a shoulder block.  Nigel quoted Homer Simpson.  As if I couldn’t love him more.

Garcia and Strong in.  Strong spat at Cassidy on the apron.  Before he and Garcia got to wrestling, Garcia smoothly rolling free of an arm wringer.  Strong back to the arm, Garcia countered out into a headlock, Strong countered back into a hammerlock then a takedown then slapped the back of Garcia’s head.

Lockup, Garcia backed him to the corner, ref called for the break, Garcia launched stinging chops, running lariat, piledriver coming, Cage raced in to block it.  Hook figured that if people are just allowed to come in at will, he might as well.  Smart kid.  No DBS here.  He helped Garcia fight off the heels then they exchanged a fist bump.

All eight got in, this got nowhere close to the usual pop for a big square off.

Ads.

Back to Garcia and Cage, the youngster slipped out of a stampede then fired shots in the corner until being dumped to the apron.  Cage hooked him back in via suplex.  Never not impressive.  Even on a guy Garcia’s size.

Strong back in, backbreaker, stomps and kicks, before Christian came in to pick the bones.  Nigel said he had the ‘poise of a Charles De Gaulle’.  That’s one of the strangest comparisons I’ve ever heard.

Cage back in, Garcia stuck in the heel corner, fighting free until being caught by Cage but countering a suplex into a ddt, every babyface reaching for a tag, Trent got it, double knees to Strong, German to Christian, a second, half and half, Cage bailed, Strong took a tornado ddt off the buckle.

But Trent dove into a Killswitch chokeslam on the apron.  Why do you do this Trent?  Your neck’s ruined.

Strong now stomped away inside.

More ads.  Christian and Cassidy are clearly there to add a little star power without working much ahead of the ppv.

Christian and Trent going at it, Christian hit unprettier but missed a diving headbutt from the top, both down seeking tags.  Strong in, he cut off Trent then mockingly put his hands in his ‘pockets’.  Before mocking the kicks too.

He then stared at Orange while applying a crab but paid for it as Trent kicked free and tagged Orange, who slammed Cage and Cage into the buckle, dropkicked Killswitch off the buckle then countered a suplex into stundog on Cage.  Tornado ddt to follow for two.

Strong distracted him long enough for Killswitch to attack from behind, Garcia came in to help take down the big guy, he and Strong went at it again until Christian blasted him with a spear.  Hook nailed him with a suplex but was tajen out by Cage who hit an F5 to Cassidy.  Garcia and Hook made the save.

Pretty much everyone’s in now, it’s hard to keep track.  Strong nailed Cassidy outside, didn’t see exactly what happened but Cassidy was selling his back so that’ll be part of the story tomorrow.

Apparently he then applied the Stronghold and wouldn’t let go but that was off-camera.  Trent rolled through to nearly pin Killswitch, hit two thrust kicks, Christian and Nick Wayne distracted him and Killswitch got the pin.  Hey, I guessed right!  We’ll see how far that continues tomorrow.

The heels then all worked over the babyfaces.  Matt Menard went in to try and save Garcia and took a chokeslam on a chair for him.  So that probably means he’s turning.  Everyone was brawling as the show ended.  Decent enough way to cap the show.

Winner: Christian Cage, Killswitch, Roderick Strong and Brian Cage

_________________________________________________________________________

Added to Revolution:

  • All-Star 8-Man Scramble for a world title shot: Jericho, Hobbs, Archer, Wardlow, Hook, Brian Cage, Magnus, Dante Martin

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Show flew by – nice mix of angles, promos, packages and wrestling
  • In fact this was easily the most noteworthy Collision in months and months – it actually felt like a worthwhile enterprise, helped by appearances and promos from guys actually appearing on the ppv, they even shot angles for it!
  • Hangman’s character and promo
  • Mariah May and the Storm/Purrazzo angle

 *****

  • The finish to that PP/Daniels & Sydal tag – gross, especially after making us sit through such a pointless match
  • Jeff Jarrett and his middle-aged crew of no marks were given tv time and are appearing on the pre-show – it’s incalculable how much damage they do to the brand everytime a non-regular fan sees them – they stink of failed wrestling companies
  • They did an angle involving nails and fire, zoomed away from it, then never mentioned it again

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend and the ppv if you’re watching.  Will be dropping a preview tomorrow/later today too.

Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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