IMPACT TV report for 09/28/2012

Impact starts off tonight with Hulk Hogan coming to the ring.  Hogan tells us that tonight the TV title will be on the line as part of “Championship Thursday.”  Devon was the TV champion, but apparently Devon is in negotiations with TNA management and Hogan needs a TV title match tonight.  Hogan has chosen Samoa Joe, Magnus, Garrett Bischoff, and Mr. Anderson as the 4 contenders for the TV title.

Hogan has also decided that he needs to address the ongoing feud between James Storm and Bobby Roode and books them in a street fight at Bound for Glory.  Hogan also announces that MMA star King Mo will be the special guest referee.  Great, just what the world needs, more replacement refs.  Hogan also tells us that tonight he will be going to the “clubhouse” of Aces and Eights, the motorcycle gang that has terrorized TNA for months.  Sting comes out to tell Hogan that he’s got his back and they’ll both fight Aces and Eights.


Match #1:  Kurt Angle (with AJ Styles) versus Chavo (with Hernandez) and Daniels (with Kazarian)

Angle and Chavo yank Daniels into the ring and double team him, hitting him with punches, chops, and European uppercuts.  Chavo and Angle slam Daniels into the corner repeatedly and stomp him on the mat.  Daniels reverses an Irish whip and sends Angle into the corner shoulder first, hitting the steel post.  Chavo clotheslines Daniels, and then Kaz trips up Chavo.  Chavo apparently didn’t see who tripped him because he starts arguing with AJ.  The rest of the wrestlers get involved and the action starts to break down.  Kaz and Daniels watch from outside the ring until they are chased out by the other teams.


When we return, the tag partners have been thrown out so Angle, Chavo and Daniels can finish their match.   Daniels has Angle in an armbar but Angle escapes and flattens Daniels.  Angle hits Daniels with a German release suplex, and then Chavo clotheslines Angle to the floor.  Chavo hits Daniels with a series of punches and a hurricanrana.  Chavo hits Daniels with a dropkick and then rolls him up for a pinfall attempt.  Angle comes in and makes the save and suplexes Chavo.  Angle hits Daniels with an Angle Slam and then puts on the ankle lock.

Chavo grabs Angle and tries to roll him up.  Angle punches Chavo, Chavo tries to retaliate with a suplex but Angle blocks it.  Daniels gets back to his feet and knocks Angle down.  Chavo hits Daniels with 3 straight vertical suplexes (the 3 amigos, a tribute to the legendary Eddie Guerrero) Chavo climbs to the top turnbuckle, but as he’s climbing, Angle applies the ankle lock to Daniels.  Daniels rolls out of the ankle lock and sends Angle flying into the corner, knocking Chavo off the top.  Daniels hits Chavo with an STO for the win!

In the back, Hogan is talking with the 4 people he has chosen to compete for the TV title tonight.  He asks each of them why they should get a shot, and after hearing from each of them decides to eliminate Magnus.

The other Hogan, Brooke, is talking to Tara in the back.  Tara is talking to her boyfriend on the phone and complaining about Brooke right in front of her.  Brooke steals Tara’s phone and tells her that she is going to suffer consequences for her behavior in recent weeks;  she has to win a #1 contender’s match tonight to earn her title shot.


Match #2: Tara versus ODB for the #1 contenders spot.

ODB comes to the ring with her husband and co tag champion-Eric Young.  ODB yanks Tara into the ring and hits her with a forearm.  The two women exchange punches as the match gets underway.  ODB knocks Tara down and then throws her across the ring by her hair.  Tara rolls to the floor to take a breather and then rolls back in.  ODB knocks Tara down with a shoulder block and then whips her into the corner where she shoulder blocks her again.  ODB hits Tara with a chop and then whips her to the corner. ODB hits Tara with a Stinger Splash and then a Bronco Buster.

Eric Young sits down in the opposite corner in hopes of getting a bronco buster from his wife, but she’s a little busy with her match.  Tara rolls to the floor and ODB hits her with a baseball slide dropkick.  ODB slams Tara’s face into the edge of the ring and then rolls her back in.  Tara offers her hand to ODB but ODB refuses to fall for it and hits Tara with a clothesline.  ODB hits Tara with a fallaway slam and then kicks her to the floor.  Tara acts like her knees is hurting her as she tries to pick herself up off the floor.  ODB goes after Tara and beats her on the floor before rolling her back in.

Tara is asking the ref for helping and removing her knee brace.  ODB goes over to check on Tara, and Tara rolls her up and covers her. Tara has her foot on the rope but the ref doesn’t see it and Tara wins the match.  The ref helps Tara hobble back to the locker room, but I suspect she’s faking that knee injury.


In the back, Bruce Pritchard and Al Snow are talking about Gut Check.  Bruce is angry that Al hit former Gut Check contestant Joey Ryan recently, and Al apologizes.  Bruce is still irritated and asks Al if he wants to be an executive or a wrestler.  Eventually Taz shows up and they start to talk about this week’s contestant, 18 year old Evan Markopoulos.  Taz seems to like him.

Hulk Hogan continues his interview session with Joe, Mr. Anderson and Garrett Bischoff.  Hogan tells Garrett his time isn’t yet and eliminates him.  Joe and Anderson will fight for the TV title tonight.


When we return, Bobby Roode is approaching the man that ended his title reign, Austin Aries.  Roode says that even though he can’t get a title shot as long as Aries is champ, he doesn’t want to see Hardy beat Aries for the title.  Roode points out that he’s beaten Jeff Hardy more than once in the last year, but he’s never been able to beat Aries.  Roode says he thinks Aries is better than Hardy and doesn’t want to see someone like Jeff Hardy as champ.

Match #3: Samoa Joe versus Mr. Anderson for the TV title.

The two men exchange punches and Anderson goes for the mic check, but Joe blocks it.  Joe goes for the rear naked choke but Anderson slips out of it.  The two men lock up.  Joe pushes Anderson to the corner and hits him with a series of punches.  Joe hits Anderson in the corner with a running back splash and then a kick to the head.   Joe and Anderson exchange several punches with Anderson starting to get the better of it until Joe knocks him down with an elbow.  Joe kicks Anderson and then takes him down with a snapmare.

Joe goes for a kick but Anderson ducks it and then takes Joe down with a swinging neckbreaker.  Anderson starts to pound on Joe but Joe hits Anderson with an elbow and then climbs to the top.  Anderson cuts Joe off in the corner and hoists him up on his shoulders.  Joe slips out and tries to apply the rear naked choke.   Anderson escapes and hits Joe with a rolling fireman’s carry slam.  Joe responds with a European uppercut and twists Anderson’s arm.  Anderson frees his arm but Joe hits him with a headbutt.

Anderson clotheslines Joe and goes for the Mic check, but Joe blocks it.  Anderson tries to roll Joe up but Joe reverses it and locks in the rear naked choke.  Anderson tries to make it to the ropes, but Joe pulls his arm back in and then re applies the rear naked choke.  Anderson tries to roll out, or to make it to the ropes, but Joe holds on.  Anderson is in the choke for a very, very long time.  Eventually Anderson passes out and Joe wins the match.

Samoa Joe is the new TV champ and is now a grand slam champion:  Heavyweight champ, X Division champ, tag champ, and now the current TV champ.


When we return, Hogan and Sting are in the back talking about Aces and Eights.  A woman walks up to Hogan with some papers for him to sign that she claims are from Bruce Pritchard.  She sprays Hogan and Sting in the face with something, and Aces and Eights abduct Hogan and Sting and drive off with them in a white van.


In the ring, Jeremy Borash introduces the Gut Check judges; Al Snow, Bruce Pritchard, and Taz.  Evan Markopoulos is invited to the ring to get the judge’s decision.  All three judges praise Evan’s passion and commitment.  Taz goes first and votes yes, Bruce Pritchard goes second and votes no.  Evan now gets a chance to persuade the third and final judge, Al Snow.  Evan gives an OK speech about wanting a chance to prove himself.    Al tells Evan he has a lot of potential, but isn’t ready yet.  Al votes no and Evan is rejected.


When we return, Aces and Eights have Hogan and Sting in their clubhouse. (shouldn’t that be an evil lair, or something like that?  If you were an evil villain, would you rather have an evil lair or a clubhouse?  A clubhouse could mean a delicious sandwich.  I’m not afraid of delicious sandwiches.)  Hogan tells them to let Joe Parks free now that they have Sting and Hogan, but they aren’t going to do that yet.  They promise to release everyone eventually, but want something from Hogan first.

They claim to like Hogan and Sting now and miss being able to play with them in the Impact Zone every week since Hogan started locking the doors.  So Aces and Eights say that they will agree to release Joe Parks under one condition:  Hogan has to pick two guys from TNA to go up against two guys from the Aces and Eights ‘brotherhood’ at Bound for Glory.

If Aces and Eights win, Hogan keeps the doors unlocked and they get full access every week.  If Hogan’s chosen wrestlers win, they promise to leave TNA alone.  Hogan agrees.  I don’t know why he trusts them.  They said they are men of their word, but they promised to release Joe Parks in exchange for Hogan and they didn’t.  Also, they are evil.  Most evil people will lie to you, even if they tell you they won’t.  Evil people are very evil that way.


Match #4: Bully Ray and Bobby Roode versus Jeff Hardy and Austin Aries.

Hardy and Bully Ray start things off.  Ray beats Hardy down and then pummels him some more in the corner.  Jeff gets back to his feet and takes Ray down with a headscissors takeover.  Hardy takes Ray down again with an armdrag and then tags in Aries.   Ray taunts Aries and then tags in Roode.  Aries puts Roode in a headlock and then takes him down twice in a row with arm drags.  Ray runs in to trip up Aries.  Hardy runs in and clotheslines both Ray and Roode to the floor.


When we return, Jeff Hardy hits Roode with a splash from the top rope.  The commercial break wasn’t really over; they just gave us a little teaser to keep us watching the commercials.  I hate that.


When we REALLY return, Hardy and Ray are in the ring.  Hardy hits Ray with a series of punches and an elbow before climbing to the top rope.  Ray trips Hardy up and Hardy hits the canvas hard.  Ray knocks Aries off the ring apron onto the floor and then hits Hardy with an elbow drop.  Ray tags in Roode and Roode lands a knee drop and a punch.  Hardy responds with a chinbreaker and the twist of fate.  Hardy is too tired to go for a cover, but he tags in Aries at the same time that Roode tags in Ray.

Aries lands a couple forearm shots to Ray, but Roode hits Aries with a cheap shot from behind and Ray knocks Aries to the floor.  Roode whips Aries into the steel steps and then rolls him back into the ring where Ray stomps on him.    Ray hits Aries with a couple forearm shots to the head and then tags in Roode.  Roode hits Aries with kicks and knee strikes in the corner.  Aries tries to fight back but Roode slams him into the corner and then tags in Ray.  Ray hits Aries with a double axe handle from the top rope and then slams him to the mat for a two count.

Ray picks Aries up into a bear hug.  Aries tries to fight his way out by boxing Ray’s ears, and when that doesn’t work, he bites him.  Aries hits Ray with a dropkick to the knees.  Aries looks tired and hurt and has a clear opening to tag in Hardy, but he ignores Hardy’s outstretched hand and fights on.  Aries downs Roode with a leaping clothesline and then applies the last chancery.  Ray comes in to make the save and also knocks Hardy off the ring apron with a kick.  Ray tries to clothesline Aries but misses and knocks his partner Bobby Roode down instead.

Aries hits Roode and then Ray with a dropkick, knocking Roode to the floor.  Aries hits Roode with a suicide dive outside.  Aries climbs to the top rope and hits Bully Ray with a dropkick.  Hardy is back up on the ring apron begging for a tag, but Aries refuses.  Roode comes after Aries but Aries hits him with a brainbuster.  Hardy tags himself in, and Aries looks mad.  Hardy hits Roode with the Swanton for the win!  Aries angrily confronts Hardy after the match.

In the parking lot outside the Impact Zone, Sting and Hogan are released by Aces and Eights, but still no Joseph Parks.  Sting unties Hogan and yells at the departing Aces and Eights van as Impact goes off the air.

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