IMPACT TV report 02/21/2013

Impact begins with a recap of the evil deeds of Aces and Eights. The first person to the ring is Hulk Hogan.  Hogan was going to announce the number one contender at the end of last week’s episode, but was interrupted by an attack from Aces and Eights.

Hogan tells us he has decided on…Bully Ray! Bully wasn’t even in a match last week for the number one contender spot, but Hulk has decided to give his son in law the title shot anyway. Bully ray makes his way to the ring to thank his “dad.” Bully also suggests a 6 man tag for later tonight featuring Bully ray, Sting, and Hogan against 3 members of Aces and Eights. Hogan agrees.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries are talking back stage when they are interrupted by Daniels and Kaz.  Daniels congratulates Roode and Aries for beating Chavo and Hernandez for the tag titles, and then tells them to just follow their lead when they face Chavo, Hernandez, Joseph Park, and James Storm in an 8 man tag later tonight.

After they leave, Aries and Roode laugh at the thought of them following anyone else’s lead, and then they argue over which of the two of them should lead.


Match #1:  Aries, Roode, Daniels and Kaz versus Joseph Park, Chavo and Hernandez, and James Storm.

James Storm and Daniels start the match off. Storm gets the early advantage against Daniels, but the action quickly breaks down and all eight men end up in the ring. When the chaos subsides, the babyfaces stand triumphant in the ring while the heels go to the floor to regroup.


When we return, Chavo and Kaz are the two legal men in the ring and Chavo takes Kaz down with a hurricanrana.  Chavo tags Joseph Park and Joseph hits Kaz with a punch and a chop. Kaz tries to fight back and hits Joseph with a cross body but just bounces of the larger man. Daniels hits Joseph with a cheap shot to the back of the knee and the heels quadruple team Park in the corner.

At one point Aries and Roode try to suplex Park but can’t get the big man up. They keep Park isolated in their corner however and continue the quadruple teaming. Daniels hits park with a slingshot elbow drop and Kaz follows up with a slingshot leg drop. Kaz tags reaches past the outstretched arms of Bobby Roode and Austin Aries to tag his regular partner, Kaz.

Roode and Aries look irritated, I suspect these teams are not on the same page. Daniels lands a punch on Park and Aries tags himself in, then Roode tags himself in, then Kaz tags himself in. Kaz and Daniels get clotheslined by Joseph Park and try to tag in either Aries or Roode, but Roode and Aries refuse to be tagged in and drop to the floor and then walk away.

Park tags in Storm and Storm hits Daniels with a clothesline, an atomic drop, a neckbreaker and then closing time. Storm tags in Hernandez. Hernandez knocks down Daniels and tags in Chavo. Chavo hits Daniels with the frog splash but Kaz makes the save. Storm hits Kaz with the superkick, setting Park up for a second rope splash onto Kaz.  Storm covers Kaz for the win.


Match #2:  Robbie E (with bigger Rob) versus Rock Star Spud.

Robbie starts off strong with a few strikes, but Spud responds with a baseball slide underneath Robbie followed by a drop kick.  The two men exchange several strikes. Spud hits Robbie with a tilt a whirl DDT.  Spud goes to the top and Robbie gets distracted by bigger Rob, giving Spud the chance to roll Robbie up for the win.

After the match, Robbie and Bigger Rob argue. Eventually, Robbie E slaps Bigger Robbie T across the face.  Robbie T gets mad, takes off his shirt and flexes. He is pretty huge, little Robbie runs away as the London crowd cheers Robbie T.


Match #3:  Velvet Sky versus Miss Tessmacher versus Gail Kim versus Knockouts champ Tara for the Knockouts title.

This is a four way elimination match, and all four knockouts start going at it immediately.  Velvet hits Tara with several shoulder blocks. Tessmacher and Velvet exchange roll up attempts.  Tara drops Tessmacher with an electric chair. Tara and Gail double team Velvet. Tara side slams Velvet and then argues with Tara, and then they start fighting.

Tara backdrops Gail and Tessmacher pulls Gail to the floor and bulldogs her. Back in the ring, Velvet and Tessmacher double team Tara. Tara trips Tessmacher, bodyslams her, and then hits her with a top rope moonsault.  Velvet hits Tara with a sit out double underhook facebuster, and then Gail pushes Velvet out of the way and pins Tara, eliminating her.

Tessmacher hits Gail with a pair of clotheslines and then climbs to the top. Tessmacher climbs to the top rope but Gail cuts her off. Velvet throws Gail and Tessmacher off the top rope onto the mat. Tessmacher tries to roll up Velvet, but Velvet keeps rolling and pins Tessmacher.

Velvet and Gail are the last two left and exchange strikes. Velvet hits Gail with a hurricanrana and Gail retaliates with a dropkick. Gail goes for a cover and uses the ropes for leverage but referee Taryn Tyrrell breaks it up.

Gail lands a kick and shoulder blocks Velvet into the ropes. Gail won’t back off and eventually the ref pulls her out of the corner. Gail falls backwards and Velvet hits her with “In Yo Face” (sitout double underhook facebuster) for the win. Velvet Sky is the new Knockouts champ.


Match #4: Garret Bischoff versus Samoa Joe.

Garret starts the match off by running away, a lot. Eventually they do start to exchange and Joe gets the better of it until Bischoff rakes the eyes. Joe throws a lot of punches and Bischoff responds with a lot of kicks.  Joe lands a couple headbutts to Garrett and Garret rakes the eyes again. Bischoff puts Joe in a chin lock but Joe fights his way out.

Joe hits Garret with a pair of clotheslines, a big boot, and a back splash. Joe grinds his boot into Garret’s face in the corner and then hits him with a running boot to the face. Joe’s face-wash is a thing of beauty. Joe makes the sign of the cross and hits Bischoff with a chop.

Wes Briscoe comes out to help Garret, causing Joe to win by DQ. Garret and Wes double team Joe until Kurt Angle comes to the rescue. After the match, Angle challenges Briscoe to a cage match at Lockdown.


Match #5:  Kenny King versus RVD for the X division title.

King dropkicks RVD to the floor and then pursues him. King slams RVD into the steps and onto the floor. They re enter the ring and King misses a spin kick. RVD hits King with a couple shoulder blocks in the corner, a couple forearm shots, and a back elbow. RVD climbs to the top rope and King pulls him back down to the mat.

King hits RVD with a spin kick and slams him to the mat. RVD hits King with several strikes and a pair of clotheslines followed by a big monkey flip. King hits RVD with a knee strike and then takes him down with “Royal Flush” but doesn’t hit it cleanly and RVD kicks out. RVD hits King with a springboard kick, rolling thunder, and then the frog splash for the win.  RVD retains X division title.


Match #6:  Devon, DOC, and Mr. Anderson versus Bully Ray, Sting, and Hogan.

Hogan never makes it to the ring and the match starts without him. All five men start fighting with Bully and Sting getting beat down as a result of the 2-3 advantage for Aces and Eights. Eventually Sting and Bully Ray land a couple of clotheslines and take their opponents down.


When we return, Anderson and DOC beat down Bully Ray. Anderson tags in Devon and Devon beats down his brother Ray and talks a little trash while doing it. After some quick tags and more double team action, Bully ray manages a suplex against Devon and tries to tag Sting but is held back by Devon.

Devon tags in Anderson, and after a couple strikes to Bully, Anderson spits at Sting in the corner. Bully Ray tries to chop his way out of the Aces and Eights corner but gets beat down again. Eventually Bully Ray spears Devon and tags in Sting.

Sting comes in and cleans house, beating everyone down with elbows and chops. DOC tries to slow Sting but clotheslines Devon instead by mistake. Sting hits DOC with a Scorpion Death Drop and then bodyslams Anderson.  Aces and Eights send some more people to the ring and they drag the Hogans (Brooke and Hulk) with them.

Hogan has been beaten up and his shirt is ripped. Of course, if Hogan’s shirt is ripped he may have been flexing, but I doubt it; he usually looks happier when he’s flexing. He looks barely conscious.  Bully Ray runs out to check on Hulk and Brooke, leaving Sting alone in the ring. Sting gets double teamed by Anderson and DOC and gets pinned by Anderson.

After the match, Sting gets triple teamed and beaten down.  Tazz exclaims that it’s “a good day to be a bad guy” as Impact goes off the air.


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