IMPACT TV report 02/14/2013

Impact begins with the traditional recap of the evil doings of Aces and Eights. The first person to the ring is Hulk Hogan. Hulk tells the crowd at England’s Wembley arena that he has 8 guys competing in 4 matches to determine the number one contender for Jeff Hardy’s title.

The matches will be 1) James Storm versus RVD, 2) Christopher Daniels versus Magnus, 3) Samoa Joe versus Kurt Angle, and Bobby Roode versus Austin Aries. There will also be a 4 on 4 elimination match between 4 members of Aces and Eights, and four members of TNA led by Sting.


Match #1: Christopher Daniels with Kazarian versus Magnus.

The English crowd gives Magnus a decent pop. The two men lock up and trade arm locks and reversals.  Daniels puts Magnus in a headlock; Magnus escapes and shoulder blocks Daniels.  Daniels pushes Magnus to the corner and hits him with a shoulder block.

Magnus lands a couple punches and a suplex and then slams Daniels into the corner face first. Magnus hits Daniels with an elbow, but then gets distracted by a cheap shot from Kazarian. Daniels hits Magnus with an STO, a clothesline, and then a chinlock. Magnus fights out but is then tripped by Kaz.

Daniels lands several punches and Magnus responds with a couple punches. Daniels takes Magnus down with a urinagi. Daniels misses a BME and Magnus responds with a big boot. Kaz interferes again and this time the ref takes away his managers license and banishes him from ringside.

Magnus lands a couple clotheslines and Daniels responds with a punch. Magnus hits another clothesline and then bodyslams Daniels. Magnus climbs to the top rope and hits Daniels with a flying elbow drop for the win.

In the back, Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray waste a little time with a painfully boring segment.


Match #2: Samoa Joe versus Kurt Angle.

Before the match we hear some comments from Kurt Angle about the recent decision to scrap amateur wrestling from the Olympics. Worst decision EVER, wrestling is one of the original Olympic sports and one of the foundational styles in MMA, the fastest growing sport in the world.  But at least we still have synchronized swimming; a sport that virtually NO ONE IN THE WORLD thinks is a sport.

The two men start off exchanging strikes until Joe takes Angle down with a snapmare and follows up with a splash. Joe lands a chop and a headbutt; Kurt responds with a belly to belly suplex.  Angle stomps Joe into the mat near the corner. Angle takes Joe down with a suplex and then applies a chin lock.  Joe fights out and Angle hits him with an elbow.


When we return, Joe lands a couple strikes and then throws Angle out of the ring. Joe flies out of the ring and hits Angle with a suicide dive/forearm shot. Back in the ring, Joe hits Angle with a reverse atomic drop, a kick, and a backsplash.

Kurt responds with three German Suplexes. Angle goes for an Angle Slam but Joe blocks it and takes Angle down with an STO. Joe puts Angle on the top rope but Angle kicks him away and hits a missile dropkick.  Angle goes for the Angle slam and hits it, but Joe gets right back to his feet and puts the rear naked choke on Angle.

Angle escapes and gets Joe in the ankle lock. Joe eventually rolls through and they both hit each other with a clothesline at the same time. Before Angle and Joe get back to their feet, they are attacked by Aces and Eights members Garrett Bischoff and Wes Briscoe. Angle and Joe get to their feet and chase Briscoe and Bischoff out of the ring.


Match #3: Party Marty and the Blossom twins (From British Boot Camp) versus Gail Kim, Tara and Jesse.

Tazz makes a comment about Tara and Jesse being a unit, and also liking each other’s units.  Tazz must be feeling romantic because it’s Valentine’s Day. Jesse and Party Marty start the match off with some strikes. Marty hits Jesse with a springboard moonsault.


Jesse tags in Tara and Marty tags in Blossom twin #1. Both Blossom twins double team Tara and Tara tags in Gail. Gail gets hit with a forearm and a back elbow. Tara hits Blossom with a cheap shot and Gail takes advantage with a clothesline.

Gail slams Blossom into Tara’s boot, and then Tara slams Blossom into Gail’s boot. Gail hits Blossom with a few kicks, a backbreaker, and a diving shoulder block. Gail tags Tara and Tara hits Blossom with a bodyslam and a standing moonsault.

Blossom gets her knees up in time to block the moonsault and tags the other Blossom twin. Blossom hits Tara with a forearm shot and a clothesline. The Blossoms hit Tara with a double flapjack, and then Blossom 1 does a big splash from Blossom 2’s shoulders.

All the competitors run in and chaos reigns. Jesse ends up getting knocked out of the ring and Party Marty tries to hit him with a suicide dive, but mostly misses and hits the security barrier hard.  Back in the ring, Gail Kim gets the win with Eat Defeet.

After the match, Gail Kim insists that she is the best Knockouts competitor and wants a shot at Tara’s title.  Tara seems upset about that but they are soon interrupted by Brooke Hogan. Brooke does give Gail her title match, but makes it part of a 4 way elimination match including Miss Tessmacher and Velvet Sky.

In the back, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode talk about their match later tonight. They are former rivals that now hold the tag titles together, but they often seem to still be in competition with each other.  They claim to be on the same page now and between the two of them they want to win ALL the TNA titles, including the women’s title.

They believe Hogan is trying to stir things up between them by making them wrestle each other, so they decide to cooperate. They agree that one of them should do the right thing for business but never determine which of them will do lay down for the other.  I foresee a problem with this plan.


Match #4: RVD versus James Storm.

The two men lock up and Storm puts RVD in a headlock; RVD hip tosses Storm. They exchange kicks and RVD hits Storm with a monkey flip.  RVD lands a couple more kicks followed by Rolling Thunder. RVD lands a couple more kicks, a backbreaker, and then a split legged moonsault for a two count.

The two men exchange strikes and Storm hits a DDT.  They trade some more punches and Storm takes RVD down with an Alabama Slamma (also known as a Tennessee slam) RVD misses a leg drop and Storm hits a Codebreaker. Storm goes for a Superkick, but RVD catches it and hits Storm with a kick of his own.

RVD climbs to the top but Storm cuts him off. RVD lands a kick that knocks Storm down in the corner. RVD climbs to the top of the opposite corner and flies end to end, but Storm rolls out of the way and RVD misses. Storm hits the Last Call superkick for the win!

Tazz observes that if RVD hit the Van Terminator at the end, then Storm would not have hit the Superkick.  Tazz also notes that if his aunt had nuts she’d be an uncle.

In the back, Joe Park is trying to get a title shot, and heard from the boys that you have to do ‘politics’ to get a shot. So Joe is arranging to have some campaign materials drawn up and asks Hogan for his vote. Hogan asks Joe if he knows what a ‘rib’ is; and not the kind that you eat. Joe doesn’t know.  Hogan thinks he should find out.


When we return, Brooke Hogan is trying to get her father to give Bully Ray a title shot.

Match #5:  Austin Aries versus Bobby Roode.

Before the match, both men agree to do what is right for business. They ask for the bell to be rung and then…they give each other the one finger poke of doom and wait for the other to lie down. Neither man lays down and they are both pissed off about it.

Finally Aries grabs a mic and says “I’ll be the bigger man..” and Roode cuts him off yelling “I’m the bigger man!!” Austin starts again and says “I’ll be the bigger man” and then lies down so Roode can pin him. Aries tries a sneaky rollup when Roode gets down on the mat but Roode kicks out.


The two men lock up and jockey for position, pushing each other back and forth. Aries hits a slingshot sunset flip, Roode rolls Aries up and goes for a cover with his feet on the ropes. Aries is mad that Roode tried to cheat, but Aries does the same thing on his next pin attempt.

The two men exchange punches and Aries gets the edge with a roaring elbow. Roode gets back to his feet and takes Aries down with a spinebuster. Aries goes to the top rope but Roode cuts him off and tries a superplex but struggles getting Aries over. Aries boxes Roode’s ears and then goes for a 450 splash but Roode rolls out of the way.

Roode goes for a spear but Aries dodges it and gets Roode in the Last Chancery. Roode almost taps but escapes by raking the eyes. Roode gets Aries in the Crossface, but Aries rolls Roode over into a pinning predicament and Roode has to release the hold. Aries lands a kick and then tries for a suplex; Roode reverses and tries for a suplex but Aries counters.

The ref gets knocked down and out as they battle back and forth. Roode goes to the floor and grabs a steel chair, but instead of hitting Aries, he hits the ring and drops, like Eddie Guerrero used to do.  Roode did it too quickly though, so Aries grabs the chair, hits the ground with it, and also drops.  The ref turns around to see both men pretending to be unconscious.

As the ref checks on one wrestler, the other makes angry faces and obscene gestures at his opponent/partner behind the refs back. When Roode and Aries finally get back to their feet, they are distracted by the approach of former tag champs; Chavo and Hernandez. Aries and Roode leave the ring together to confront their tag team rivals and realize too late that they are being counted out.

They both run back to the ring trying to cut the other off, but neither man makes it in time and both get counted out. This may not have been the best technical wrestling match these two have ever had, but it was pretty good and an awful lot of fun to watch. Roode and Aries have amazing chemistry together, I would like to see them stay together and win ALL of the titles between the two of them, including the Knockout title.


When we return, Hogan makes his way to the ring to give us his decision on who the number one contender should be. Before Hogan can tell us, the ring is surrounded by Aces and Eights.

Bully Ray comes out to defend his father in law with a chain in hand, and he is followed by Sting. Sting is walking to the ring with bats for himself, Hulk, and Bully Ray, but they aren’t baseball bats. Since this is England, Sting has brought cricket bats to the ring. Aces and Eights retreats into the crowd as Impact goes off the air.


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