IMPACT TV report 01/24/2013

Impact begins with a recap of Taz revealing himself as a member of Aces and Eights and ruining the wedding of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan last week.

Tenay tells us that he was shocked by Taz’ betrayal and notes that Taz is not there at the announce table this week.  Aces and Eights make their way to the ring, led by Devon, DOC, Mike Knox, and Taz.

Taz grabs a mic and walks to the ring. Taz tells us that all week long people have been asking him why. Taz responds that he could not pass up the opportunity to join a dominant group bent on revenge. He makes a vague reference to a higher power.

He also tells us that his contract with TNA is iron clad, making him, in his words, bulletproof. If anyone tries to mess with him, he’ll end up owning the place, because he’s “Teflon Taz.”

In the back, Jesse and Tara prepare for Tara’s title match with Velvet Sky by playing with a Velvet Sky action figure.  The segment didn’t suck quite as much as it sounds like it probably did.


Match #1: Tara with Jesse versus Velvet Sky.

Taz joins the announce team, and Tenay asks him who this “higher power” is that he mentioned earlier. (it’s Vince McMahon, I remember this storyline from years ago)

Taz laughs off the question and refuses to answer. Tara flexes at the start of the match and Velvet takes her down with a quick roll up attempt. Tara kicks out; Velvet applies a hammerlock and then tries to wrap her up again.

Velvet hits Tara with an armdrag and a couple clotheslines, and then follows up with a side Russian leg sweep. Tara rolls to the floor, but Velvet pulls her back in. Velvet hits Tara with a dropkick that sends Tara out to the floor.


When we return, the two wrestler’s exchange kicks. Velvet hits Tara with a chop and a shoulder block and tries to follow up with a monkey flip but Tara blocks it.

Tara suplexes Velvet and then hits her with a standing moonsault. Tara always shakes her ass before executing the standing moonsault. I’m sure that makes the moonsault more effective in some way. Tara puts Velvet in a headlock and Velvet eventually fights out.

Tara grabs Velvet by the hair and slams her to the mat.  Tara goes to the top rope and Velvet knocks her off. The two knockouts exchange punches and Velvet takes Tara down with a pair of clotheslines. Velvet follows up with a hurricanrana.  Velvet sets Tara up for an inverted DDT, but then changes it to a face plant.

Jesse creates a distraction that keeps Velvet from getting the pin. Velvet goes for a suplex, but Jesse trips her.  Tara lands on Velvet and gets the pin as Jesse holds Velvet’s leg down.  Tara retains her title.


In the back, Kenny King asks the mirror who is the fairest of all. Kenny is teaming up with Zema Ion tonight to face RVD and Christian York.  They both seem more concerned with looking good than winning.

Joseph Park makes his way to the ring. Joseph tells us that his place is not in a court room, but here in the Impact Zone as a member of the TNA roster. Joseph is disappointed he didn’t win his match at the PPV, but he fought hard and wants to fight again.

Next week TNA will be in Manchester England for Open Fight Night and Joseph tells us he’s going to call out someone and make his Impact wrestling debut and get his first “W”, as the boys call it.

Match #2:  Zema Ion and Kenny King versus RVD and Christian York.

Zema and RVD start the match off and Zema puts RVD in a headlock. RVD gets out and Zema hits him with a kick. RVD responds with an elevated drop kick and tags in York. York hits a kick and a knee lift and then tags in RVD.

RVD sends Zema into the corner and hits him with a monkey flip. RVD lands a kick and Zema goes to the floor. King grabs RVD by the hair to distract him, and Zema tags King in. King suplexes RVD and then grounds and pounds the X division champ.  King tags in Zema.

Zema and RVD trade strikes and Zema rakes Van Dam’s eyes.  Zema goes to the top and tries a 450 splash, but RVD rolls out of the way. RVD lands a kick and tags in York. York lands a couple kicks and a pair of clotheslines.

The partners come in to help and all 4 men start brawling in the ring. York knocks King to the floor and King pulls York out to the floor. RVD climbs to the top but King trips him up. Zema knocks RVD to the floor.

King hits York with a springboard blockbuster, and Zema tags himself in to make the cover and gets the win. King seems a little irritated at having the pin stolen out from under him.


When we return, Samoa Joe is talking to Garrett Bischoff and seems a little irritated with them. They want to know how Kurt Angle is doing and Joe tells them to ask Kurt themselves. Kurt shows up and greets his friends. Angle says he’s not 100%, but he’s ready to kick ass.

Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan make their way to the ring.  Bully Ray wants Taz, but Taz disappeared shortly before Bully arrived to answer an important phone call.

Bully calls Taz a coward. Bully is mad that his friend and the only man that trusted him, Sting, got hurt last week.  He’s also mad Hulk got hurt, but he’s especially upset that Brooke, the woman he loves, was hurt last week when her wedding was ruined.

Bully Ray wants Hogan to lift his suspension so he can go after Aces and Eights for revenge. Sting comes out to tell Bully that Hogan will lift the suspension.

In the back, Bobby Roode and Austin Aries are arguing again. One of them has to face Hernandez tonight, and they’re trying to figure out who it should be. Roode says that since Austin is the fastest and most agile and has a great finisher, the brain buster, he should wrestle Hernandez.

Aries responds that with his power and technical wrestling skill, Roode should fight Hernandez. Aries also points out that Roode was the most dominant champion in TNA history for over a year. Roode points out that Aries beat him, and Aries reminds Roode that he actually beat him twice.

Roode thinks that means Aries should fight tonight. Aries reminds Roode that he called those wins “flukes”. Aries doesn’t agree, but says there may have been a tiny bit of fluketitude involved.

Roode triumphantly yells that Aries finally admitted it was a fluke, and Aries says he’ll back Roode up tonight against Hernandez. So I think Aries won the disingenuous ass kissing contest which means Roode has to fight SuperMex Hernandez tonight.


Match #3:  Bobby Roode versus Hernandez with Chavo.

Taz rejoins the broadcast team. Roode and Hernandez lock up and Hernandez pushes Roode away. They lock up again and Roode gets behind Hernandez and hits him with an elbow followed by a couple punches.

Hernandez backdrops Roode and then hits him with a LONG delayed vertical suplex. Roode rakes the eyes to break the momentum and then hits Hernandez with a neckbreaker. Roode lands a kick, a snapmare, and then snaps the neck of Hernandez again.

Hernandez hits Roode with a boot and Roode responds with a back elbow. Roode hits Hernandez with an elbow drop and then a knee drop. Roode puts Hernandez in a chin lock and supermex gets out by backing Roode into the corner.  Hernandez hits Roode with a shoulder block and then follows up with a top rope shoulder tackle.

Hernandez hits Roode with a backbreaker. Roode starts to fight back, but Hernandez hits him with a he shoulder block that sends him out to the floor. Hernandez looks like he wants to hit Roode with a suicide dive but Aries runs down and pulls Roode out of the way.

Roode seems angered by Austin’s interference, but they don’t get much time to argue about it. Chavo goes after Aries outside the ring and they fight. Hernandez is distracted and Roode hits him with a bulldog for the win.

Aries and Roode continue arguing after the match. Aries says he saved Roode, Roode said he didn’t need any help.  Aries raises his hands and says “we did it!” Roode raises his hands and says “I did it!”

In a few weeks, I would not be surprised if they started yelling “NO, I am the tag team champions!” at each other.


When we return, Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring to call out Ken Anderson. Anderson eventually shows up wearing an Aces and Eights vest. Anderson asks Kurt if he wants to fight him next week. Kurt nods his head.

Anderson says, well I don’t want to fight YOU next week. I don’t want to. I want to fight NOW!” and hits Angle in the head. Angle responds with a clothesline and tries to put the ankle lock on but Anderson escapes and runs away.

Angle tells Anderson that he’s calling Anderson out next week on Open Fight Night to a match in a steel cage. Angle and Anderson had one of the best matches in TNA history a couple years ago in a steel cage.


When we return, Anderson is in the Aces and Eights clubhouse yelling at the hookers to shut up. Ken is worried about his cage match with Angle next week. Devon tells Ken not to worry, that they’ll have a game plan for the match. In the meantime, relax, enjoy yourself.

Match #4: Christopher Daniels with Kaz versus Jeff Hardy for the world championship.

The two men lock up and Daniels pushes Hardy to the corner.  Hardy puts Anderson in a headlock, but Anderson pushes him to the corner and hits him with several shoulder blocks.

Hardy hits Anderson with a hurricanrana and a pair of clotheslines. Hardy goes for a dropkick in the corner but Daniels dodges it and throws Hardy to the floor. Kaz comes in to congratulate his friend.


During the break, Kaz hit Hardy with several cheap shots, giving Daniels the edge in the match. Daniels grinds his elbow into Hardy’s face, and then hits him with a suplex followed by a clothesline. Daniels repeatedly stomps on Hardy and then headbutts him.

Daniels drops Hardy with a slam that starts off looking like a neckbreaker. Daniels works on Hardy on the mat, pulling on his chin and arm. Daniels stomps on Hardy some more. Hardy hits Daniels with a clothesline and then they exchange punches.

Hardy hits Daniels with a clothesline and follows up with a double leg drop. Hardy hits Daniels with a kick, climbs to the top rope and hits him with a big splash. Daniels kicks out and hits Hardy with a Death Valley Driver, followed by a submission hold on the mat.

Daniels applies pressure to the head and neck of Hardy but Hardy makes it to the ropes, forcing a break. Daniels lands a couple punches and sets Hardy up on the turnbuckle for a superplex.

Hardy blocks the superplex and hits Daniels with a front suplex from the top rope. Hardy goes for the pin but Daniels gets his foot on the ropes. Daniels gets to his feet, hits Hardy with a chop and then plants him in the middle of the ring with Angel’s wings!

Hardy kicks out at 2 and Daniels climbs to the top rope.  Daniels tries to hit Hardy with the BME (Best Moonsault Ever) but Hardy rolls out of the way. Hardy tries whisper in the wind, but Daniels gets out of the way and rolls Hardy up for a two count.

Daniels tries to wrap Hardy’s arms up in a double underhook, but Hardy slips out of it. Hardy lands a kick and the Twist of Fate, and then follows it up with the Swanton Bomb for the win.

After the match, Taz says he wants to do his job as an announcer and decided to get into the ring to interview Hardy. Taz asks Hardy what he’s going to do when Aces and Eights destroys everything around him?

Before Hardy can answer, a masked member of Aces and Eights runs in behind Hardy and hits him in the back of the knee with a hammer. Hardy writhes in pain on the mat as Impact goes off the air.

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