AEW Collision tonight comes to us from the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, NC. After last week drawing 417,000 & 0.13 in the 18-49 demo.
*****
- Max Caster cut a well-delivered rap generic in content
- Christian Cage & Luchasaurus said the Greensboro Coliseum was a fitting place for them
- CMFTR: Cash said ‘Welcome to our house’, Punk that it was nap time for HOB, Harwood that they already had three belts so why not three more?
Ian Riccaboni filling in for Kevin Kelly once more.
They pushed All In & All Out before anything else began. Then recapped the show-closing angle from last week with Ricky Starks solidifying himself as a heel by whipping Ricky Steamboat.
Chants for Tony Schiavone from the crowd as he introduced Starks to boos. Ricky was wearing the baby of a backpack and mankini up top. And brought the belt he’d used to whip the Dragon. Schiavone said Starks seemed ‘distraught’ (he seemed anything but) because he’s been suspended from wrestling for thirty days due to his actions last week.
Starks said there were consequences for actions. Steamboat cost him the match so he had to ‘whup his ass’. And that AEW has a history of screwing good people, then heeled on Schiavone before announcing he’s secured a manager’s license. He snatched the mic as he announced this was his show and his legacy. To a decent number of cheers.
Before again threatening Schiavone. ‘I’m unhinged right now’. The blood is on Punk’s hands, he brought Steamboat in. Flipping Punk’s words by stating that Punk got the win but can he live with it? He promised to set the ‘whole damn company’ on fire and he’ll start next week. ‘You want a war?’, he’s gonna bring one to you. ‘Ain’t nobody like me on Dynamite or on this damn show’.
A little lacking in coherence but certainly not in charisma. Though was back to eliciting cheers toward the end after starting as a solid heel. Nice follow-up to last weeks angle and like that he’s been suspended and is seeking a manager’s license. It’s different. And presumably a way to explain him being off All In.
*****
Package recapping the Bucks/FTR rivalry. Featuring clips of their previous matches and the angle where FTR showed up in AEW. It started with Matt Jackson talking about how the rivalry started but featured no other clips of the Bucks talking. It’d be good to hear their side and why they want the match.
Acclaimed vs Iron Savages
Backstory: Billy Gunn’s ‘retired’
The Iron Savages are the former Bear Country (I think). The announcers continued talking about Billy Gunn as if he’d died. This is so over the top.
After briefly selling, Bowens snapped back with rights, backing Long Hair (I apologize but I don’t know these two and the announcers barely named them) to the corner, tag to Caster, the pair attacking with leaping rights until allowing him to tag Boulder.
Caster back in, he looked to hoist Boulder on his shoulders but failed, Bowens looked for his over-the-shoulder legdrop and was caught, Caster too, Boulder dropped them both in a carbon copy of FTR/Big Bill ahead of the first break last week.
Back to Long Hair missing a splash off the top, Caster dragged back from the tag but bagging it after kicking free, Bowens in with fire: clotheslines, rights and elbows to the head. Thrust kicks to the legs and head but caught into a flapjack by Boulder then took a double spinebuster. Caster broke the pin at three.
They did a goofy stomping dance before Caster dropkicked one off the top of the other then tagged in, this time lifting Boulder onto his shoulders. Jack Jameson (yeah I don’t know either) hit the apron and was dragged in for Scissor Me Timbers. ‘We know Billy’s watchin’ said Riccaboni mournfully.
Double Fameassers won a meh opener the outcome of which was never in doubt and achieved only making the ref look dumb as usual.
Caster took the mic. They’ll be wrestling again on Dynamite. They have Billy’s boots so his spirit (and sweat presumably) will never leave them. Bowens said that last week they got to say goodbye but the fans didn’t. He asked fans to throw their scissors up for the ‘midcarder that is Billy Gunn’. Okay he said ‘Legend’ really.
Perhaps I’m alone in thinking this is very thin, low-lying storytelling that grossly oversells what Gunn’s been to the wrestling business. Which is a solid mid-carder who was briefly part of a very hot act twenty-five years ago.
Winner: Acclaimed
Backstage to Lexi – wearing a tie as a scarf – to call in Bullet Club Gold. Juice called her ‘Schiavone’ and said no-one was hotter than them. White called them ‘the most elite version of Bullet Club ever’. ‘I know there’s a handful of guys that like to call themselves Elite but they don’t have the right to’.
Two of whom call themselves the best brother tag team. Austin addressed the Young Bucks to say they’d beat them Wednesday. ‘Don’t bring superkicks to a gunfight’ added Colten.
Nice job adding a little something to that tag. There’s a reason for it to exist and it’ll give the Bucks a win over former tag champs. Now if only they’d give Jay White something to sink his teeth into.
*****
Recap of the Cole/MJF story starting with their time-limit draw then being paired together in the tag tourney all the way to Wednesday. They’re really pushing the ppv tonight.
Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale vs Diamante & Mercedes Martinez
Backstory: Willow saved the TBS champ from a two-on-one beating last week
Statlander was very excited to team with Nightingale, to which her yelling as she made her entrance attested. Riccaboni told Nigel he wasn’t in ‘the Riccabon(e) Zone’. He’s becoming a bit much.
Statlander and Diamante got us going, Stat took her down then went after Mercedes. Allowing Diamante to strike from behind but Statlander quickly hit back until Diamante countered a slam into an armdrag. Statlander tagged Willow to a nice cheer. She got two with a posing cover. Not very babyface.
Crowd chanting for Willow as she smashed Diamante with a big boot but Mercedes grabbed Diamante to help her avoid a pounce then tagged in to dump Willow who kicked out at one after a Diamante splash.
Nightingale briefly fought out of the corner but was caught mid-ring and maneuvered into a Paradise Lock as the heels posed then hit double dropkicks for two.
Break.
Willow cartwheeled away from a double clothesline then planted Mercedes with a spinebuster and chokeslammed Diamante onto the vet. Before crawling to tag the champ – big clotheslines and rights, dropkicks, kip up, heels down.
She had to yell at Mercedes to get up so she could throw Diamante into her then the faces hit stereo sentons. Stat hauled Mercedes onto her shoulders, she fought free then shoved the champ into Willow, knocking her off the apron as Diamante took out the champ who also landed outside.
Martinez powerbombed Diamante over the top onto the others – she landed fairly short and it nearly ended very badly – the faces rushing to get underneath her so she didn’t go splat. Willow was down in the ring but popped up to pounce Martinez out, Diamante in to hit standing sliced bread and yell ‘f*** you’ loud enough that McGuinness had to acknowledge the language. Stat then hit her with a fisherman buster.
Willow then had Mercedes on her shoulders for three years in a very contrived spot – Diamante added leverage from outside to help Mercedes counter a roll-up and win.
AEW’s match finishes this week reek. #Johny Ace? #Icould #Joking.
Winner: Mercedes Martinez & Diamante
Lexi with 1930s Toni Storm. ‘Listen toots’…
She demanded respect from Lexi and said she’s been a bit depressed but is feeling better since she has a title match and Saraya’s qualified too. She parodied what’s been said in real life by calling all the other girls toxic and etc (not the brightest idea to make light of that but AEW seem to like giving public ripostes to Twitter beef).
Lexi then mentioned that Shida beat her and Storm lost it again. ‘This interview is over… SHUT… UP’. She flung a shoe from off camera.
Very entertaining once more. Was already laughing at just her pose before she even spoke: she kinda stands with her hand just across her chest as if desperately trying to compose herself.
Anthony Everett vs Samoa Joe
Backstory: Niet
Badass Samoa Joe out to his usual pop and chants. ‘Joe’s gonna kill you!’. The announcers said we were still awaiting Punk’s response to his challenge as snapping jabs dropped Everett in the corner – splash, spinning enziguri, knee to the gut, Everett to the apron – Joe walked away from a springboard, murdered him with a lariat, Kokina Clutch. Night night.
I could happily watch Joe wrestle squash matches for the next hour and ten.
Taking the mic to a big cheer he again called himself the ‘King of Television’. And came here tonight looking for an answer. But has heard only the ‘silence of a coward’. As far as he’s concerned ‘your real world champion is looking like a real bitch right now’. But what aggravates him the most is ‘I gave you the courtesy of asking, the mercy of letting you know what would happen’.
He began by asking for what he wanted but now ‘I’m going to convince you’.
Well, he vowed there’d be trouble if he hadn’t heard from Punk by this week. Easily the best thing thus far on a sub-par show. Badass aura, crowd behind him, what he says sounds real.
Winner: Samoa Joe
The announcers again pushed All In. Confirming the BtYBB vs Aussie Open tag title match on Zero Hour. You’ll be shocked to hear Saraya beat Skye Blue so is in the women’s title match. Take a couple deep breaths, you’ll be good.
*****
Christian Cage out along with his dinosaur. Nigel kept calling him ‘father of the year’. They showed Luchasaurus attacking Darby Allin on Rampage, and a girl in the audience crying.
After an extra-long pause for boos, Cage said this was the biggest family reunion he’s ever been a part of. That’s just genius. Such a great line.
Then that there are a lot of ‘second bests’ to come out of North Carolina – Michael Jordan’s been overtaken by Lebron (yep, waiting for that line). And as far as wrestling, he’s ‘far superior to Ric Flair or any other wrestler from NC’. As TNT champion ‘We demand respect’. Whether from the fans or wrestlers in the back.
But lately he’s felt disrespected by Darby. As long as Cage has the title, Allin will never touch it again. While Allin messes around on his skateboard, Cage is building a legacy and noted that Allin said he paints half his face cause he’s 50% dead inside. Cage vowed to make him 100%.
Arn Anderson’s voice interrupted, the crowd didn’t recognize it till he came out and then got a nice pop. Brock was with him. He said ‘they know us around here… this is Horsemen country’. Then called Luchasaurus a ‘sea monster’ but told the big guy ‘you’re the champion, not (Cage)’.
Christian quickly interrupted to reply that the most relevant Arn’s been in fifteen years is when Cage left him in a pool of blood a few months back. He said he’d make an exception to ‘no open challenges’ for Arn. Who said if it was twenty years ago he’d have whupped him but sent his son in instead.
Cage bailed, Brock began scrapping with Luchasaurus.
Brock Anderson vs Luchasaurus (TNT Title)
Backstory: See above
Saurus drubbed Brock as Nigel slammed Arn for sending his son to be beaten. Cage fled from Arn at ringside. Saurus hit a slam as the ads arrived.
Tonight’s matches are ‘uninspired’, to quote a Nas track.
Brock firing shots, running elbow, another until being caught into a chokeslam. Then drilled with a lariat to the back of the head as Luchasaurus retained.
This felt like something done for a house show and yet another title match that wasn’t really doesn’t help that belt.
Darby then hit the scene with his skateboard, leaping off the top to ride it on Luchasaurus’ back. Huge pop for Allin. He said Luchasaurus has been around 65 billion years, ‘you ever had a skateboard up your ass?’ Then challenged Cage for a match next Saturday. ‘Aren’t you tired of runnin?’. Cage accepted before Allin vowed to put respect back on the TNT title when he again becomes the face of TNT at All Out.
Only Joe has rivalled Darby for crowd response so far.
Winner: Luchasaurus
Schiavone in the ring once more to bring forth the P-P-P-P Powerhouse. He had the Book of Hobbs with him. And none of QTV. Though was wearing the gold chain. Hobbs said an opportunity presented itself last week, at All Out in Chicago. For the past few months there’s always been something distracting him.
So he went home and found the thing that helps him and allows him to inflict ‘violence, violence and violence, the Book of Hobbs.’ Reiterating that he neither wants or needs help. The next chapter of his book is entitled Redemption. Which he needs to do after losing his title and in the Owen tournament. To get Redemption, he needs to call out the Redeemer, ‘So Miro, bring your ass out!’. ‘Split!’ he yelled at Schiavone. Miro’s music finally hit to a pop (the crowd were dead while Hobbs talked).
Before he reached the ring, Solo & Nick Comoroto attacked from behind, Miro fought them off but left himself open to a Hobbs’ Spinebuster. Hobbs held up the Book then left it on Miro’s chest.
Was all for this till two bottom of the bottom heels got the better of one of the most popular babyfaces on the roster. Sounds like that match’ll be at All Out. At least they’re finally doing something with Miro. Though neither of these guys can really afford to lose.
*****
JR out to a nice pop ahead of the main event. Riccaboni said JR’d had a crazy travel day but was determined to be here. Ross said he’d ‘worked hard to get here because of this match’.
CMFTR vs House of Black (Trios Titles)
Backstory: None
Few ways this could finish given the feuds these guys are in. Punk could pay for failing to heed Samoa Joe’s warning: ‘If you make me wait till next week, you best believe I’ll convince your ass… Punk’.
House out first before the break.
FTR out next – pink smoke, pink lights, black gear. Crowd solidly behind them, mixed leaning toward positive for Punk. A ‘Hangman was right!’ alongside an ‘FTR’ sign in the crowd about summing it up.
The heels had a 300-pound weight advantage here. That Brody’s a big boy. Total babyface reaction for them. As the crowd duelled over Punk.
Buddy and Cash about to start when Wheeler tagged Chicago Phil in – boos clashing with fans chanting his name. About evenly. Collar and elbow, to the corner, break. Punk sneaking a headlock with Matthews’ head turned, working it dead center, refusing to be whipped until Matthews shook him off and their shoulders clashed.
Several times. Punk worse for it until tagging Cash back in. Lot of stalling and building anticipation so far, speeding up as Cash and Buddy engaged in some headlock takeovers. Cash back to the headlock, slipping behind, series of switches, O’Connor roll blocked by Buddy, couple duck unders from Cash before landing an armdrag and legscissor takedown.
Dax in, bringing his chops with him, snap suplex, snap legdrop, count of one. (Love that Dax always goes for a pin straight away). The big fella then tagged himself in, cue barking. Lockup, big chop from Brody, Dax tried a leg dive but took more chops, firing one of his own and barely budging Brody. King worked him over in the corner, tenderizing his chest, Dax slipped under a boot, dropkick to the knee, chops to the chest/face with King on one knee. Dragging him to the faces’ corner, quick tags bringing all three in, Punk in via top rope lariat to Matthews who ran in to help Brody.
As FTR worked hard to get King outside with a series of double team moves. Malakai calming him from racing back in. Then tagging in, big pop as he stared down Punk across the ring. Each countered submissions, Punk caught the leg on a kick before a rapid sequence of dodges and counters: armdrag blocked, kip up, stereo kicks, stalemate, Black boot up in the corner, kicking Punk down then knocking FTR off the apron, running into the GTS, slipping behind, Black Mass ducked, Punk landing in his ‘pipebomb’ pose, Malakai milking it then joining him.
The pair getting a pop that’d make most wrestlers jealous just for sitting down.
All six in now to stare each other down then get to slugging as the ads arrived.
Matthews and Dax fighting on the apron, Malakai distracting Dax into a draping ddt, tag to King, more stinging chops, choking boot in the corner, lifting powerbomb out of it. Black in, back elbow, cover for one, headlock, crowd clapping for Harwood until he was drilled with a kick and left down in the wrong corner.
King in wit a back elbow, big right, Malakai back in, punt to the face, two only. Harwood fighting out of headlock, avoiding a kick, whip-quick ddt, back body drop to Matthews, Punk in, shoulder blocks, duck under, neckbreaker, two only.
Rapid sequence following: leg lariat, step-up knee in the corner, bulldog blocked, GTS attempted, Black in to block, Matthews roll up for two, Punk roundhouse, GTS blocked again, short-arm lariat, Punk about to head upstairs (taking his time as Julia was late), Julia up to distract the ref, Black crotching Punk.
King in once more, crushing cannonball in the corner before mocking Punk’s ‘X’ right in his face.
Notha break.
Black and Punk back at it, Malakai stomping away, booting Punk back to the HOB corner, Brody back in, smacking Punk down via chop after ignoring one of Punk’s. Snap suplex, Buddy back in, cover bagging one.
Knee to the spine, aggressive chin lock, Punk still in the HOB corner, to their feet, Punk firing shots to the gut, boot up in the corner but smacked via Matthews running knee. Buddy mocked the GTS sign only to immediately run into one. Both down, Matthews crashing outside to avoid being pinned, allowing Punk to tag Cash
King in too, Cash clubbing blows, shaken off, dropkick to the knee more effective, a series of dropkicks knocking the big man to the corner but not taking him down. Snap powerslam to Black who tried to interfere, ten in the corner to King, Brody still on his feet, FTR sent Black outside, Brody too, then Matthews up and over onto his compadres before Wheeler took to the air via tope. Nice aggressive one too, none of this diving to get caught stuff.
Bulldog back inside, King kicked out. FTR and King the only men left in the ring, the champs looking for a suplex, King countered – sort-of – it ended more like a ddt. Crowd quieting but brought back into it by the ref’s count. King up first at ‘four’, to the top, cut-off by Dax, series of rights, chops too, superplex ready, Brody fighting back, Dax shoved down but popping up to crotch the big man.
Tag to Cash, Punk up too on the opposite buckle, double superplex leading to a diving elbow, King kicked out at 2.9. The faces working over Brody 3-on-1, Shatter Machine shaken off before taking a Punk-assisted one, Matthews meteora taking out Cash, Dax brainbuster to Buddy, Dax eating a running knee from Malakai, he and Punk connected with roundhouses at the same time. All six down. Crowd roaring.
Punk tope to Malakai, Dax off the top via diving headbutt for another close fall as they showed Joe choking out Punk among the fans (they showed a replay and he’d dragged Punk over the barricade into the crowd), King hit a lariat to Dax and got the win. Really nicely done, no way the ref could’ve seen that in the crowd.
Another very good main event outside of the fact that it was very easy to forget any titles were on the line.
Winner: House of Black
________________________________________________________________
Next Dynamite:
- MJF & Cole talk about All In main event
- Omega interview w JR
- Bunny vs Britt Baker
- Darby Allin & Nick Wayne vs Gates of Agony
- Wheeler Yuta vs Orange Cassidy (International Title)
- The Gunns vs Young Bucks
- Jeff Jarrett vs Jeff Hardy (Texas Chainsaw Massacre Death Match – crowd hilariously audibly groaned at this)
- Jericho answers Callis
Next Collision:
- Darby Allin vs Christian Cage
- Diamante vs Willow Nightingale
Added to All In:
- Better than You Bay Bay vs Aussie Open (Zero Hour)
Thumbs Up/Down
- Things interlink so much better when the same guys appear every week – the finish of the main event for instance – when it’s done well, sparingly, and makes storyline sense, I’m fine with an interference finish
- Toni Storm’s new character – she’s about the only female who actually has one
- Samoa Joe squash, aura, angle with Punk and general badassery
- CMFTR vs HOB
- Build for Cage/Saurus vs Darby – it’s easy to understand & episodic
*****
- Outside of the main event, very average matches in terms of both names and quality
- Why can’t anyone beat anyone cleanly?
- If they’re going to do Andrade vs Malakai they’d better get to building it
- That Miro/Hobbs segment was a mess for numerous reasons
Appreciate you reading. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.