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Collision TV Report for 07/27/2024

Venue: Esports Stadium, Arlington, Tx

*****

Schiavone again pushed the path to All In.  Wembley a long way from this small, darkly lit venue.  They pushed some Adult Swim event from Thursday, showing Orange giving weak kicks to a guy clad entirely in green called ‘Frogman.’

And Orange and Willow beating Taya and Johnny TV.  ‘What a great way to begin two hours of Collision!’  Said Schiavone as TV made his entrance.  Actually hope he’s just knowingly lying to us at this point.

Arkady ring announcing again.  Not feeling it.

Orange Cassidy vs Johnny TV

Backstory: NONE

Orange worked the arm, TV countered, Orange countered back deliberately slowly before speeding up.  TV did a bunch of flipping and stuff for no reason before posing upside down in the corner.

In case the show didn’t scream ‘house show’ loudly enough.

Orange stole TV’s shades.  TV aimed very slow kicks obviously intended to miss.  Cassidy then ran through the pockets routine.  Before hitting a tope.  Shades still on.  Taya tried to rouse her man.

Cassidy casually tossed the shades to a lad at ringside then had a tornado ddt blocked into a backbreaker and Russian legsweep.  TV missed a standing moonsault by a mile.  Nigel used the words ‘dream match.’  About Lio Rush vs Pac.  Deader than dead.

TV got two after Taya distracted Orange.  TV took the ref, Taya nailed Orange outside.  TV followed, working the arm against an exposed railing.  Cassidy rolled through the ring and out the other side, favoring the arm.

Taya shoved Orange after she and TV followed him round.  Ref wasn’t arsed.

They announced Toni Storm’s first match since the attack by Mariah May.  It’s in like two hours on BotB.

Orange ducked a TV lariat then introduced him to Mr. Ring Buckle and his children.  TV came back with a springing enziguri.  Then a draping neckbreaker for two.  Cassidy fired boots to the gut, TV had wrist control until Orange grabbed a cradle for two.  Then hit stundog, tornado ddt.

Two.

Pad off, Punch coming, it’ll miss cause it always does first time: ‘good match.’  Oh, TV blocked it, what a twist.  He missed Starship Pain but caught Cassidy off the top and hit a neckbreaker.  Then hit Starship Pain.  Cassidy kicked out.

After I was done legitimately yawning, Cassidy hit beach break and a Punch to win.  Willow ran off a 2:1 attack.  In honor of AEW’s 100th title belt, she’s defending the CMLL title on BotB.  Or an eliminator.  Or something.

Winner: Orange Cassidy

Footage of the Patriarchy winning the trios belts last week.

Juice and the Gunns backstage, Juice said they don’t cry over spilt milk.  He said Shayna made a mistake last week by getting involved.  The Gunns played for a cheap pop by aiming their promo entirely at the hundreds of people in the crowd, rather than the national tv audience.  Basically called themselves the home team.

Then did Gunns Up.  Worked tbf, crowd liked it.

Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta vs Brian Cage & Lee Moriarty vs Top Flight

Backstory: NONE

Cage is subbing for the injured Shane Taylor.  Moriarty got a really nice pop and has new, vastly improved music.  They showed him winning the Pure title on the ROH ppv.  He and Yuta locked eyes.

And started.  Yuta sent Moriarty to the ropes, Dante tagged in, avoiding Yuta in the corner, gamengiri from the apron, springing cross body for two.  Running lariat in the corner, tag to Darius, Dante vaulting senton, Claudio in but taking the Martins’ double-team tornado ddt.

Three people were watching backstage.  Not a clue who they were till Tony said it was the Infantry.

Ads.

(The ROH six-man belts are being defended by Strong and the Kingdom on BotB.  Am I losing it?  Didn’t they unify those?)

Back to Cage slamming Dante down, Moriarty right in via shining wizard, Yuta came in illegally to stop the pin and was chucked outside.  Dante tagged Claudio who ran wild on Cage and Moriarty.  Pile of running ‘bows.

Double figures.  This is such a house show.  Crowd loved it.

A stomp got two.  Then Moriarty went for a swing.  And was motioning for ‘time out.’  That’s fun.  His selling dizziness after was good too.  Darius came in and took Moriarty down, Yuta broke the pin.  Darius hit a brainbuster and was snatched into a rollup by Moriarty for two.

Everyone just coming in and out at will, not a clue who’s legal.  Yep, I’m JR.

It all built to Claudio and Cage and some meat chants.  House show AF.  Until the Martins came in with thrust kicks then hit dives.  Moriarty hit them with one.  Darius hit him with a Pele using the apron then took a discus from Cage.  Then was taken out by Claudio.

Inside, Yuta blind tagged and hit a dropkick to Moriarty.  Then got the win over Darius. With his seatbelt pin.  Nigel, as is his way, was absolutely hammering that Wheeler should leave the BCC.

Rapid, in-and-out action.

Winner: BCC

Lexy with the Conglomeration.  Willow and Orange came in, she was hyped and put over Orange’s win.  Then pushed her match against Deonna at BotB.  She said she’d win and so would the Conglomeration.  Likeable as usual.

Briscoe vowed not to let the fatigue from Weds get in the way of the match.  He brought in the newest member of the Conglomeration.  A very small baby.  He fired up with the same promo he does every time as part of this group; Kyle played excited puppy as usual, Ishii was stoic.

They all left and Orange collapsed his head onto Lexy’s shoulder.

Beast Mortos vs Hologram

Backstory: NONE

Meltzer said Tony Khan’s had ‘an idea’ (presumably this one) for Aramis for ‘four or five years.’  That’s half a decade on a glow in the dark ‘H’.

Nigel said the world had been talking about Hologram.

Crowd chanted loudly for Mortos as he came out.  Then chanted ‘lucha.’  Mortos hit a spinning armdrag, a long exchange of ‘creative’ ones out of other moves ensued, each sought rapid rollups and pin attempts, Hologram flipped in the air and landed on his feet for a stalemate.

Crowd into this.

Mortos hit a kick to the gut, snapmare, snap powerslam, two.  Hologram elbowed free of a waistlock, Mortos sent him packing outside via pounce, crowd chanted for him again.

Ads.

Hologram ducked and dodged in the corner (exactly like Dante a match earlier), then used Mortos like a jungle gym over and over, whipping around and around him.  Crowd exploded.  No damage done though, so Mortos immediately hit back, then hit a weird move off the top where he basically hugged Hologram and just leapt off and they landed with about the same impact.

Hologram hit an enziguri, running boot on the apron, brutal destroyer on the apron, horrible landing for Mortos, hope he’s okay.  Seems to be.  Hologram then hit a rope walk cannonball down to ringside.  Crowd exploded again, chanting for him.  Then, ‘uno mas.’

Hologram hit a tope suicida instead.  Then headed upstairs as things returned to the ring.  Mortos caught him then kindly held him in place till he was balanced enough to hit a poisonrana.  But hit back with an off the shoulder backbreaker and lariat for two.

TiA from the crowd.  Who are loving this.

Hologram blocked a pair of corner attacks, elevated Mortos to the apron but took a right and was dragged upstairs.  They openly discussed what was to come next, Hologram slammed Mortos off then hit a springboard crucifix bomb and a rollup to win.

No doubting how spectacular many of the moves were.  If you don’t mind the ‘lucha’ aspects which make it hard to see things as a contest, you’ll probably love this.  The clutch of unused luchadores backstage must be jealous of TK’s new favorite.

Winner: Hologram

Thunder Rosa vs Maya World

Backstory: NONE

Schiavone said Rosa was ‘absolutely robbed’ last week by Taya.  I was surprised Rosa didn’t attack Valkyrie earlier after that.

Dueling chant cause AEW did that weird thing again where they use a local enhancement talent even against a babyface.  Maya struck first and posed, Rosa went after the arm: hammerlock before wailing away on the arm.

They pushed Grand Slam and that Darby had a world title shot there.

Rosa hit a flurry, was distracted by Tony explaining Darby’s Royal Rampage win since I hadn’t watched.  Chops in the ropes before a Thesz Press (which Tony actually called it for once!).  Bunch of trash talk in Spanish before a series of shots and lariats in the corner, running dropkick, more chops in the ropes.

Why is this still going?

Rosa ducked a pair of lariats, cazadora into a stomp.  Then a camel clutch and immediate tap.  She vowed to punish Deonna and used the ol’ ‘B’ word.  Cause there are no other insults for women.

Winner: Thunder Rosa

They showed Lance Archer vs Ospreay last June in NJPW.  Where Ospreay won but the announcers tried to push it as a narrow victory.

They’re wrestling again Wednesday.  Seriously?

We raced away backstage to Archer walloping a bunch of nobodies.

Was such a fan of Lance when he debuted.  Very disappointed they’ve done nothing with him.  But the fact remains that they haven’t.  So stop trying to (very cheaply) convince us he’s a threat.

The Conglomeration vs Premier Athletes

Backstory: NONE

Kyle O’Reilly following Briscoe like a happy puppy might be his worst version yet.  The Premier Athletes heeled on the crowd like last week.  Again ignoring the tv audience who probably don’t mind Texans being insulted.  Because they’re not from Texas.

House show AF.  Also, Arkady might have said ‘Fart Mark Sterling.’

Kyle and Josh Woods started.  Stiff kicks and stuff.  Ishii in, wailing away, Briscoe snuck in to land a shot.  Nese in now, for the same stuff we’ve seen twice already in the past seven days: a Japanese dude no-selling chops.

Briscoe in now, suplex, back out.  Kyle in, things spilled outside, ending with a Briscoe chair-assisted dive.

Ads.

Kyle hit a back suplex to escape a headlock, tag to Ishii, Woods in too, Ishii smashing lariat, shoulder block, release German to Daivari, who hit a shot but got knocked on his ass.  Everyone just coming in again, Briscoe kung fu to Daivari and Nese.

A Pele sending Daivari packing, leaping forearm to Nese, fisherman buster, two.  Jay Driller coming, Sterling hit the apron, ref not arsed again, triple team from the heels, Ishii saving the pin after a Daivari splash from the top.

Woods in, he hit a backbreaker to Briscoe, the other faces took out the other heels outside.  Everyone took out everyone, Woods and Kyle went at it again until O’Reilly got the tap via armbar.

If there was a national audience for matches like this, Tony Khan wouldn’t own ROH.

Winner: The Conglomeration

Jericho with Renee Wednesday after his match with Suzuki.  He said his little finger was broken.  He couldn’t say ‘Hi guys,’ cause of it.  He said he’s not through with Suzuki but first the Learning Tree are coming after Shibata.  Who has no friends left.

God, this feud just will not end.

*****

Some dude was shown fleeing down the ramp.  Lance Archer’s music played and he followed the dude to the ring.

Lance Archer vs ???

Backstory: NONE

Schiavone said Archer was ‘no question… the most dangerous man in AEW.’  Far as I’m aware they never named his opponent here.

He won quickly.  So now he might beat Ospreay right?  We’ll get about twenty minutes to find out anyway.

Winner: Lance Archer

FTR vs MxM Collection

Backstory: NONE

Mansoor and Dax to start, trip to the mat, walk across the back, pose.  Dax headlock, whipped off, baseball slide under; Mansoor nailed him with a shoulder then posed again.  Kicking Dax away, landing a chop, another in the corner, Mansoor avoided a corner charge, posing again, Dax finally catching up to him, stiff chop, tag to Cash who came in via vaulting shoulder.

Mansoor leapt into his partner’s arms then tagged out.  They got a one count after a double team.  Mansoor back in, Cash mockingly posed after taking him down then tagged Dax.  The other dude raced in to save Mansoor from a Shatter Machine.

Ads.

FTR are over but MxM aren’t being booed either.  It’s very AEW to just throw a team out there without even mentioning them all night after not advertising them prior.  Let alone explaining who they are; still don’t even know one of their names.

They showed MxM taking over during the break.  Dax got a winning pin but the other guy took the ref.  The heels hit a Hart Attack using a leg lariat r/t a lariat.  Dax crawled for the tag, Cash lefts and rights, dropkick, fighting off both heels, Madden sent outside, Cash hit a Gory Bomb to Mansoor for two.

Dax bridged Madden back out, Cash and mansoor exchanged two counts, Mansoor was caught and seesawed into the buckle.  A weak MADDEN shot knocked Dax off the buckle, Madden missed a Harlem sidekick, Mansoor got a rollup for two, Dax blind tagged, right into the Shatter Machine, Dax didn’t even hook the leg, mockingly posing as he won.

FTR offered the heels some love after.

Winner: FTR

The Acclaimed after B&G.  Caster was yelling that he was the MVP of the match.  Bowens yelled really loudly about showing up and delivering and bleeding every week for four years.  Continuing to yell excessively loudly about saving the company… no one should ever underestimate them.

Caster addressed the Bucks.  Then said if FTR were real wrestlers they’d have been in the cage to help save the company. Bowens said the Bucks should heal up quickly cause they’re coming for the titles.

Then did his ‘everybody loves…’ line.

One of the main things I don’t like about WWE is when a heated promo’s going on and a wrestler uses the jargon – ‘WWE universe’ or whatever.  Jamming that line in at the end smacked of that.

And if you already don’t like The Acclaimed much, have I got a promo for you.  Obnoxious, ten levels too intense.  Hell of a job getting fans behind the Bucks.

Lio Rush vs PAC

Backstory: NONE

Rush has new music.  Quiet dueling chant as this started and Pac cornered Rush and took him down.  Till Rush armdragged free.  Springboard rana followed, Rush did his misdirect stuff till being snatched in a tilt-a-whirl.

But fought back with kicks.  Pac blocked a cazadora, seeking a German, Rush used the ropes to block and briefly got two but was walloped to the mat by the Geordie.

Easily the quietest the fans have been all night.

Pac hit a flurry of spin kicks, single-leg dropkick, guess he’s nominally the heel cause…

Ads.

Rush fighting out of the corner, Pac blocked a rana into a BRUTAL powerbomb, Rush landing right on his neck, nearly landing under Pac.  Very slow to get up, Pac to the top, Rush ran at him then hit a corkscrew kick as things got back to the mat.

Both down.

Rush shoved Pac into the ring post outside, nailed a bullet tope, and another, crowd up for the first time all match.  Rush to the top, Pac moved, Rush rolled through and hit a falcon arrow into a pin for a near fall.

Pac sent Rush to the buckle.  Ref checked on Lio.  Pac set him atop the buckle, actually sounds like fans have left it’s so quiet.  Rush headbutted Pac to the mat but was caught into a German for two.  Seems this might be spilling into BotB.

Pac upstairs once more, Rush very slowly rolled to safety.  Luring Pac in but being hurled via snap German, no selling to hit a poisonrana then a cutter for two.  Pac got his knees up on a frogsplash.  Sort of.

Seeking another German, Rush rolled through for 2.999999.  Pac blasted him with a suplex, Brutalizer, immediate tap.  Props for tapping.  Pac kept the hold on.  So is this another case of a turn without turning or just the usual ‘shades of grey’ bollocks?

No atmosphere; no drama.  Pac was winning anyway; the fact he’s some sort of contender for the Long Island title meant he was even more winning anyway.  Not close to as good as might have been expected either.

Winner: PAC

This wasn’t even a B show.  Nothing advertised; nothing interesting, couldn’t even guess what the main event would be because nothing was suitable.

Next Dynamite:

  • Ospreay vs Lance Archer (very weird how little they’ve advertised after doing a couple decent numbers)

Next Collision (5 Eastern):

Check Out

  • Mortos vs Hologram

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend.


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Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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