Home AEW Collision TV Report for 06/08/2024

Collision TV Report for 06/08/2024

8

Venue: Mid-America Center, Council Bluffs, Iowa

Somehow they’ve sold about the same number of tickets for this as they did Wednesday.

*****

FTR vs Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta

Backstory: NONE

Was reminded since Weds that Yuta was a stone heel before leaving and is now just a babyface with no explanation.

Claudio and Dax went at it with lariats and uppercuts until Claudio tagged in Yuta and FTR got on top.  Yuta finally making the tag back to the Swiss, in with uppercuts for all, big boot for Dax, count of two.  Then went for the swing twice but was cut off so snatched Cash into a sharpshooter, as Dax did the same to Yuta.  Claudio and Dax traded slaps while maintaining the holds until this broke down heading into the break.

Ads.

Back to an avalanche gutwrench from Claudio to Dax, near fall.  They traded twos before Dax hit a big spinebuster.  Then readied a powerplex.  Claudio got the knees up on Cash’s splash, Yuta in via one of his own.  He and Cash sent outside before Claudio got two on a still-down Dax.  Neutralizer coming, Dax fought it off, blind tag, Yuta broke up the Shatter Machine, Claudio got the swing on Cash.  Into a Yuta dropkick.  Pin saved by Dax at two.

Yuta sent back out, Claudio got rid of Dax, Cash hooked a cradle for two, CC lariat for the same, Neutralizer blocked again into the Shatter Machine, Yuta shoved Dax into the pin in just a groan of a moment.  Dude, it was done, it’s gone long enough, the finish was clever, but no.

Dax and Yuta have just disappeared again.  Cash hooked a sharpshooter, Claudio powered out into one of his own, the other two returned and Dax got a sharpshooter on Yuta, Claudio lost his grip then hit a Neutralizer to Dax, Yuta mostly missed a tope to Harwood as Cash hit a piledriver to the Swiss for another two.

They announced a minute remaining.  Both Cash and Claudio rushed to hit moves off the top, all countered until Cash eventually kicked out of another Neutralizer but right into the crossface and Rings of Saturn, time ticking down, Cash trying to hold on.  Wouldn’t you know it, the bell rang.  Fans booed.  Because yeah.  That’s not the first time that’s happened recently.

Dax demanded five more mins.  Fans cheered.  Brandon Cutler came out.  Seriously.  He’s here on behalf of the Bucks.  He wandered toward the ring while saying the contract said this was twenty minutes and no more, so he could get taken out to stop the fans being pissed.

And was, swept right into a swing and then catapulted by Claudio into an FTR Shatter Machine.  Claudio said he wouldn’t shake FTR’s hands because it’s cliché but any time they want to do this again, they’re on.

If there was an issue or a purpose, then sure.  But there isn’t.  It’s just guys wrestling to wrestle. That sure was thirty minutes of life.

Winner: Time Limit Draw

Lexy with Kyle O’Reilly.  He called Cassidy the face of the company but was interrupted by Roderick Strong yelling his name.  The dude who attacked him and screwed him out of a title.  Kyle reacted to this not with anger or fists but with bemusement.

Strong said it’s one step forward; two steps back with O’Reilly.  And noted he’s beaten Orange twice if Kyle needs any advice.  And hinted at something O’Reilly told him when he first came back.

They were going for us being intrigued by that.  So yeah, totally confused both as to why Kyle isn’t pissed off and what Roderick Strong has over Tony Khan.  Maybe an old forum post saying Erik Watts deserves his spot?

Kris Statlander vs Robyn Renegade

Backstory: NONE

Stat has new bass-heavy music and Stokely welcomed us to ‘Staturday night!’  Renegade was already in the ring.  Of course, it’s AEW, so they didn’t bother showing what Statlander did to Willow ahead of her first match as a heel.

She won very quickly with her tombstone.

Stokely said he wakes up every morning wishing he had Stat’s speed, strength and intensity.  Etc etc.  Earlier he had a convo with Tony Khan, and Stat’s going to be the first woman to simultaneously chase two titles since she’s the first woman in the Owen.  He vowed that there is no-one who can stop her.

Winner: Kris Statlander

Dustin Rhodes vs Johnny TV was the hook to remain with the show through the break.

Back to Willow arriving.  She was told Stat had entered the Owen.  She announced she too is in it and won it last year.  She said she hoped to see Kris there.  Lexy asked why she was here though, Willow said she wanted to keep an eye on the action.

So she’s clairvoyant since for all intents and purposes Statlander was done and had left.

Dustin Rhodes vs Johnny TV

Backstory: NONE

TV and Taya kissed, Nigel said we were ‘getting X-rated.’  Sure.

TV and Dustin grappled to the corner as Schiavone announced it being the one-year anniversary of the show next week.  Quite a time to make that as two wrestlers we never see compete to silence on a show almost completely without stars.

They worked a bunch of stuff around Dustin and TV both trying to kiss Taya until TV just about hit a tornijo through the ropes.  Taya sarcastically chanting ‘Let’s go Dustin!’ finally provoked the crowd into making some noise.

Ads.

Dustin hit his drop-down uppercut, bulldog off the ropes, couple rights, TV got a boot up but ran right into a snap powerslam.  Then countered a suplex into a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Which Tony called a ‘revolutionary move.’  TV tried something out of the corner, Dustin held on and hit a code red in what just looked totally unbelievable.  In the truest sense.  Dustin upside down behind TV, TV with all the leverage and Dustin somehow broke the laws of physics.

Dustin hit Shattered Dreams as Taya took the ref, she put TV’s leg on the ropes to break the pin and was thrown out.  TV hit a weak up kick for two as Dustin returned to the ring.  And a knee strike that clearly made no contact.  And another.  Before heading upstairs to miss Starship Pain.

Dustin hit an elevated CrossRhodes to win.  Why on earth did this need to go this long?  Why couldn’t he just win after Shattered Dreams and be done with it?

Presumably Dustin’s losing to someone on Dynamite in the next couple weeks.

He said he was getting old and sounded a bit tired and sore.  Crowd chanted that he wasn’t.  He said the fans have been behind him his whole career, he thanked us for watching whether on tv or in-person.  And thanked the wrestlers in the back and the production people.  And the cameramen.

He then said something really pisses him off.  Jack Perry.  Crowd got silent as Rhodes ranted about him taking out their boss and joining the Elite.  And about him being born with a silver spoon and never working a day in his goddamn life (goddamn was muted, Americans sure are sensitive about that word.)  Perry wants to talk about sacrifice but doesn’t know what it means.

Continuing the show-long theme of going too long, Dustin continued to rant about Perry being a follower not a leader so is ‘mediocre.’  Then just announced that the pair had a match Wednesday.

He vowed to ‘destroy your little punk-ass like my good friend Billy Gunn did Jay White.’  (He didnt actually say the second bit.)  Dustin felt Perry not forgetting his name after they wrestle was mic-drop worthy.

It’s the same old stuff – Rhodes appears out of nowhere to win so he can lose.  This whole segment felt endless.

Winner: Dustin Rhodes

A Zack Sabre Jr package voiced-over by the Brit.  He said he has unfinished business with Orange Cassidy and challenged him.  Should be fun.  Like Zack.  The fact he’s about the first New Japan guy announced shows why they’ve expanded the ppv this year, the star power’s just not there.

Tony Nese & Aria Daivari vs ??? & ‘Ducktales’ ??? (that’s what I picked up anyway)

Backstory: NONE

In a move which had me begging for Dustin and TV to go a little longer, the Premier Athletes came out as they replayed their spat with Hook Weds.

The Athletes won immediately.

Winner: Tony Nese & Aria Daivari

To ‘the one, the only… Scorpio Sky.’  In a bare room by himself he talked about all our heroes being gone and it’s time to come together.  He’ll be our hero and our voice.  And our champion.  ‘Cause I’m here for you.’

Very clearly a heel pretending to be a babyface.  Schiavone basically acknowledged this.

Never understood why Sky doesn’t get opportunities when guys like Trent, Kyle and Strong do.  But then I thought the same about Ethan Page.

Toni Storm vs Lady Frost

Backstory: NONE

Storm got a huge pop by this show’s standards.  They showed her and Mina Shirakawa shaking hands on Rampage.

Storm got an armdrag, the fans are generally silent during all of these matches outside of big spots.  Hard to blame them.  Frost countered and flipped Toni to the corner.  Who went back to the arm.  For quite a long time till Frost whipped her off, but just before they collided yelled ‘freeze!’ and both struck a pose.

And this show somehow hit new levels of suck.

Frost hit a kick from the apron and moonsault which-just-about-connected off it.

Ads.  Mariah May in a pretty white dress might be the highlight of the show so far.

Frost missed a handspring attack in the corner for which Storm moved out the way several days ago.  Fans amused themselves with a ‘Luther’ chant.  Frost countered a full nelson slam into a rollup for two.  Then hit her handspring slam for two.  Very smoothly done.

Storm caught her heading upstairs into a backstabber, Frost shook off Storm Zero cause nothing can just end, we must have near falls.  A sit-out powerbomb confirmed this, Frost out at two.  Then got a boot up twice in the corner but ate Storm Zero to lose.

May joined Storm on the apron looking sad.  As Toni explained via mic to her that it must be awkward her facing Mina Shirakawa.  ‘But darling I love you so much.’  She’s proud of her and wants her to have opportunities.  Storm never had someone looking out for her but she will do that for May.

So demanded she be put into the Owen.  Just like that, the graphic was up.  Amazing!  May giggled/cried, hard to tell, but looked touched, Storm did her shoe, chin, tits line just to do it, even though it didn’t fit whatsoever.

Really want to get into Storm vs Mina, there’s a lot there to make something good out of it.  But so far it’s incredibly bland, something Storm can’t usually be accused of.  May looking strong and winning the tournament Storm put her in to earn a title shot at her mentor could be good.

Winner: Toni Storm

STP and Top Flight and Andretti backstage since Lee and Dante are the only thing announced for next week’s anniversary show.

Dante cut a promo which sounded very patronizing (it wasn’t supposed to) about how much Lee had grown since they last faced.  The talking picked up since Taylor spoke for his side.  He tried to drive a wedge between the faces by saying Andretti was the only one with any heart.

Goddamn man last year we had Punk, FTR and Starks vs Joe and BCG on what was supposed to be another ‘A’ show or at least a strong alternative.  And now it’s come to this.

*****

To Joe and Hook with Shibata filming (We knew this because he used the phone app off-camera).  Joe being totally bemused while grilling Hook about lacrosse was easily the best thing on this show.  They bounded into the Premier Athletes’ locker room and quickly smashed them.  Joe berated Mark Sterling.

Fans chanted ‘Joe!’ repeatedly.

Because a good, serious segment couldn’t be left alone in WWAEW, Shibata’s phone said ‘There’s no crying in wrestling.’  It was supposed to be funny but:

  1. Wasn’t
  2. Was drowned out by the aforementioned Joe chants

Characters who are serious ass-kickers in an actual storyline.  Like oxygen after about ninety minutes underwater.  More Joe please.

Daniel Garcia vs Tate Mayfairs

Backstory: NONE

They grappled to the corner, Mayfairs flipped out and preened but was knocked on his ass by Disco Daniel.  Menard talked for the millionth time about wanting to see more killer instinct out of Garcia (to be clear, not blaming Menard).

Mayfairs is named after a museum (Tate) and a rich part of London (Mayfair) btw.  Very creative.  Reminds one of the ‘Pea-tear Griffin’ clip from a very old Family Guy.

Garcia hit a swinging neckbreaker, rolling through to hit two more.  Then paintbrushed him and flung him to the corner via saito.  ‘We’re done playing around here!’ announced Menard.  Right before Garcia stopped to dance.  Then grabbed a guillotine.  Mayfairs was going out but Garcia elevated him up to hit ‘the Red Cross.’  Like an elevated reverse ddt.

The new, ‘serious’ Garcia went and stood atop the barricade and danced in his underwear like a Chippendale.

Winner: Daniel Garcia

Package for ‘Zeuxis’ who is facing Mercedes Weds.  She’s Stephanie Vaquer’s tag partner.  So at least there’s a point to it.  Don’t mind that.

Droning boos as they previewed Dynamite and Jericho’s seg came up.  They then announced next week’s Collision anniversary which was so damn flat.

Then previewed Forbidden Door.  Tbf, they actually stopped and gave this all time to sink in.

*****

Orange with Lexy.  She began asking about Zack’s challenge, Orange got irritated – he has the match tonight, all his friends are gone, the ones he had are trying to attack him.  He’s alone.  And now he has Sabre talking about Forbidden Door.  He’s just worried about getting through tonight.

He said he had to go get ready cause he was concerned about that match.

This was really good.  Felt genuine, made me sympathize with a babyface who feels like everything’s too much and made this match seem like a challenge.  Nice work.

Orange Cassidy vs Kyle O’Reilly

Backstory: NONE

Strong and the Kingdom were ringside.  Not even the ‘sickos’ Tony Khan counts himself among can possibly be this interested in the remnants of the Kingdom and Undisputed Era.  Yet here we are again, two months later, with the same story.

They grappled to the mat till Orange squirmed his way back into the ropes.  Kyle responded by laying on his back and begging Orange to try his luck.  Cassidy sat down, Kyle aimed a cheap kick, they did a gymnastics routine into a Kyle double wristlock, Orange got the ropes, as the Kingdom got yet more tv time.

Kyle rolled over a drop down, Orange countered an armdrag but Kyle reversed back into several pin attempts, both getting a series of twos via shifting their weight.  Until Kyle grabbed a submission but Orange got the ropes.

Ads.

Back to utter silence as Orange got a headlock takeover.  Another after Kyle briefly escaped, each crawled through the other’s legs, Orange had stundog blocked down into a sleeper but rolled through, pinning Kyle’s legs with his for two.

Cassidy went for the pockets, Kyle grabbed the wrists and kept blocking the pockets, Orange trying to use it to break the hold.  Then got the pockets to a cheer, the routine followed: leapfrog, dropkick etc.  Kyle got pissed and hit a flurry of kicks ending with a legsweep.  As the Kingdom got more tv time.

Orange to the apron, Kyle sent to the buckle multiple times but hitting a dragon screw through the ropes.  Fans still incredibly quiet as Kyle went to work outside then jawed with and was hugged by Strong who whispered something to him.

Orange attacked; Kyle hit a dragon screw against the barricade.  Then flung Orange back in.  Yet another dragon screw begat more ads.  And more silence.

Ads.

Back to more Kyle kicks.  Orange snapped off a kick of his own.  And a tope after Kyle bailed outside.  Cross body off the top a Kyle returned, he rolled through seeking a wristlock, Orange rolled back through for two, but had a low thrust kick caught into a snap German, Orange hit one of his own, each kept hitting a suplex then just standing there till the other guy hit one, ostensibly spent, until they both collapsed.

Doesn’t feel remotely warranted, it’s been a bunch of counters and dragon screws.

To their feet, they exchanged the kicks, crowd cheering along, kicks getting stiffer till Kyle again countered stundog into an armbreaker, through into an ankle lock.  Orange hit knee strikes to escape, Michinoku driver for two.

Orange hit a running kick, Kyle dropped behind the Punch and went for the armbreaker again, Kyle putting his hand in Orange’s pocket to block the escape.  As Kyle transitioned to a choke.  Just forever.  Orange finally powered up into beach break for two.

Both staggered up, Orange avoided kicks then hit a Punch so weak they did it again, to win.  Boring as hell.  This is certainly the era of colorless ‘workers’ in AEW.  At a time when ratings have never been lower.  It feels like Khan starts every creative meeting with ‘what’ve we got for Roddy?’

With perfect timing, Trent appeared to attack Orange.  Kyle Fletcher in tow.  O’Reilly returned to try to help but was beaten down.  Kris Statlander came out so that Willow appearing earlier for no ostensible reason made sense.  How handy, otherwise she’d have turned up for naught.  Though basically did, she came out and Statlander fled.

Winner: Orange Cassidy

 ________________________________________________________________

Next Dynamite:

  • Will Ospreay vs Rey Fenix (Int’nl title)
  • Private Party on ‘TV Time’
  • Zeuxis vs Mercedes
  • Dustin Rhodes vs Jack Perry (TNT title qualifier)
  • Rush is wrestling

Next Collision:

  • Lee Moriarty vs Dante Martin (TNT title qf)
  • Christian Cage promo on Father’s Day (oh joy)
  • House of Black are back
  • Rosa vs Deonna (No DQ)

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Joe/Hook’s interaction (mostly Joe if we’re honest)
  • Orange’s promo
  • It’s notable that these were about the only segments on the show showing character or story development

 *****

  • Tony Khan said this week he books for ‘sickos’ like himself, and sure doubled down here – two Saturdays in a row of just nothing matches without stories or purpose, while the one match with any doubt over the finish ended in a draw, in a reboot of a BCC/FTR feud we’ve already seen except now with a weaker version of the former

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

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