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Collision TV report for 06/01/2024

Venue: Palm Springs, CA

*****

FTR out as they showed clips of AitA.  Nigel said Danielson wasn’t here.  Cash said they failed but they’d die for AEW ‘and we ain’t dead yet.’  Dax said he’d wondered if it was all worth it but tequila helped confirm that it was.

He continued to talk through the prism of this strange storyline, as if AEW’s existence is threatened.  Emphasizing that they, Danielson and Darby will be back, promising a ‘summer of AEW and we will whip your (the Elite’s) ass.’

*****

To Jack Perry after AitA.  Slumped in the shower.  People talk about blood, sweat and tears like it’s a sacrifice.  That’s the bare minimum.  He just got set on fire to save AEW.  No one believes in the spirit of AEW more than him, even when the company turned their back on him, left him for dead, he continues to sacrifice, you can hate him or come with him but he’s going to continue shaping the future through blood, sweat and fire.

Could be a hell of a character if there was a little more clarity, structure and purpose from the company.  Which, admittedly, sounds kind of damning doesn’t it.  Explaining to the majority of the audience what the hell he means would be a start.

*****

Then they replayed the seg from Weds where Christopher Daniels announced this weird qualification system for a ladder match for the TNT title.  Takeshita won last night so he’s in.

Lio Rush vs Roderick Strong

Backstory: NONE

As usual the Kingdom had to get shine within a couple of minutes, Taven put Rush’s coat on.  After Rush had done his usual ducking and dodging to start.  Then countering an armdrag from the buckle before nailing a lightning tope to rival Darby’s, a second quickly following.

Crowd into this.  Ads.

They showed Strong nailing a backbreaker during the break.  He then hit an Olympic slam for two.  Or ‘silver,’ as Nigel put it.  Before lobbing Rush out and taking the ref so the Kingdom could get more much-needed tv time.  Characters people don’t care about leading to booking people find aggravating, quite a combo.

Rush then ducked and darted, frustrating Strong at every turn, into a corkscrew kick, flurry of rights, rollup for two, tornado ddt for the same.  Damn, dude is fast.  To the top, the Kingdom got involved again, Rush hit a gamengiri to Strong then moonsaulted onto the Kingdom then countered a powerbomb into a rana and low stunner for two.

To the top once more, the Kingdom got on the apron again, so Strong got his knees up on a splash and hit End of Heartache.  Aka guy we all know will win sells for 90% of the match so that no-one really gets over.  Right out of WWE’s playbook in the late teens.  At least didn’t go too long.

And Rush is fun to watch.  Got the crowd right behind him.

Winner: Roderick Strong

Replay of Ospreay winning the Gauntlet Weds and his face off with Strickland.

To Kyle O’Reilly.  ‘A by-product of me stepping into that ring, that’s having great matches.’  Tonight, he’s not trying to have a great match.  Tonight, he plans on beating Will as violently and efficiently as possible.  Ospreay’s never beaten O’Reilly.  O’Reilly’s kicked out of the Hidden Blade.  Everyone watching is overlooking him.

He emphasized he was winning tonight and refused to leave Palm Springs empty handed.

As good a job as you could do given the circumstances (i.e. we all know he’s lying).  Extra points for basically saying ‘good matches’ mean F all if you don’t win.

*****

Lexy was waiting for Strong and the Kingdom.  Strong raced past yelling ‘TONY!’ and ran up on Khan, totally ignoring Chris Daniels who tried to stop him.  Strong demanded a match with Swerve Weds.  Khan said it was a great idea.  Winner faces Ospreay at Forbidden Door.

So Tony is indeed backstage again.  Also, why introduce Daniels as a vice-president Weds if his authority’s immediately undercut?  Smacks of creative disorganization.

Though Strong getting a world title shot makes perfect sense, that’s the next step when you lose a mid-card title right?  Consistency.

Katsuyori Shibata & Daniel Garcia vs Workhorsemen

Backstory: NONE

Hey do you think that dude Tony rehired only because people complained online will win against the guys involved in storylines?

Shibata and Henry to start, break in the ropes, stiff kicks from Henry, Shibata hit a kitchen sink, kick to the spine, Garcia in with a punt.  Menard’s on comms btw.  Drake tagged in to hit a big chop.

Drake was then outside a bit favoring his knee, seemingly legitimately.  Henry went at it with Garcia, swinging neckbreaker from Disco Daniel, a second, third blocked until Garcia hit at the second attempt.

Ads. Crowd waaay quieter than they were for Rush.  If you’re going to have a match with no story or stakes, you better up the pace and hit some high spots.

Garcia stuck in the heel corner, Drake firing chops, mobility seemingly limited.  Lots of chops.  Garcia fired up, ducked, belly to back, seeking a tag.  Made.  Henry in too.  Shibata running wild, follow-in running boot in the corner, another, pump kick for Drake, hanging dropkick on Henry in the corner, suplex out, two.  Garcia back in, Shibata chopping Henry down so Garcia decided he had time to dance for a long time.  As Nigel rightly noted, it would not win him the match.

Drake bling tag, belly to belly for Garcia, running knees in the corner from Henry, diving knees off the top, Drake moonsault, crowd always go nuts for that.  Shibata saved the pin.  Then grabbed a sleeper on Henry, who fought it off and hit a spinning kick to Garcia before Shibata hit a PK to Drake and Garcia jackknifed into a pin.

Went too long.  Garcia cut a promo about losing his way, or not getting opportunities or some crap Weds then spent the match dancing like a lower-card geek.  Same ol’.  Easily the loudest the crowd got all match was for JD Drake.  Easily.

Winner: Katsuyori Shibata & Daniel Garcia

They replayed Stat’s attack on Willow at the ppv.  She and Stokely backstage.  They did the heels-pretend-to-be-sorry promo straight out of WWE and said they had a gift, then showed a bin full of garbage.  Because Willow’s trash.

Stat said she was going to destroy and decimate anyone in her way.

Decimation’s a Roman army punishment where one guy in ten is randomly killed.  The roster does need trimming.

Thunder Rosa vs Reina Dorada

Backstory: NONE

Reina got less than silence coming out.  Crowd fairly behind Thunder as usual.  After a bunch of rolling around on the mat, Rosa got two, picked Reina up to take her down; Reina hit back via armdrag, Rosa hit one of her own, then a springboard edition.

She then put on ‘a Venus de Milo-type-move’ per Schiavone (knees in the back with the arms captured).  Then a floatover suplex for two.  Reina tried a chop, Rosa hit back way harder, a stiff forearm followed, Reina hit back, Rosa pulled her up on her shoulders and hit something like a face-first Michinoku driver which they called a Tijuana Bomb but didn’t look like any previous version of that move.  And which looked like Reina was going to break her neck, I gasped.

She kicked out at two, seemingly okay.

Rosa then got the tap.  And talked to Deonna via the camera.  Almost literally saying the feud wasn’t over.

Winner: Thunder Rosa

Cage of Agony (Brian Cage & Gates of Agony) vs Danny Rose, Ricky Gee & KM

Backstory: NONE

Swerve’s former minions dominated and won after just flinging Gee up into the air and allowing him to land sloppily on his feet.  Hope dude’s okay.  The announcers said they must be in prime position for a trios title shot.

Amazing what one win can do.

Winner: Cage of Agony

Storm yelled at Saraya for challenging her child, Mariah May.  May said she’d watched the movie about Saraya’s life but noted it hadn’t shown the part featuring her downfall.  Then said she’d put Saraya in a new one Weds: ShitStorm (they bleeped it).  She’d let Saraya figure out which part she was.

Storm was very proud.  And said her Forbidden Door was wide open.  Then said they were going to the bar.

So back in the arena Nigel popped up and began to take his headset off until Tony told him that wasn’t live and they weren’t at the bar now.  One of the highlights of the show.  Which is both praise and not.

Claudio Castagnoli vs Johnny TV

Backstory: NONE

Nigel asked if Tony had watched Johnny Loves Taya.  Tony said he had, without offering any details whatsoever.  Awkward.

TV hit a kick to the spine, a second, then slapped on a chinlock, transitioning into a cravate.  Claudio countered into a backslide for two.  Then hit a stomp for two.  TV kept trying to avoid Claudio, succeeding despite evidently being in-reach.  Claudio finally did snatch him up into a delayed vertical, for a very long time.

But went for a swing rather than pin.  Taya tried to stop it and was dragged in.  The ref’s a moron, TV hit a low blow and got two.

Ads.

As ever, if your only means of even remotely convincing the audience a wrestler might lose is with egregious interference, probably shouldn’t book the match.  Or just have it be a squash.

Claudio hit a pendulum suplex, TV down in the corner, uppercut city.  Big boot got two.  Crowd pretty good tonight.  Especially for such a piss-weak card.  TV got a wacky pin using the legs for two.  Then tried a fistfight.  Didn’t go well.  A neckbreaker fared better.  Yet another two.

Taya slapped Claudio through the ropes.  Claudio’s dumb too so pursued her for ages and was hit via tornijo over the buckle.  Presumably something went wrong because there was a cutaway (the show is taped) before we came back to the guys atop the buckle.  Claudio hit a reverse suplex from up there.

Then put on a Sharpshooter.  Taya again grabbed TV right in front of the ref and was dragged into the ring.  Claudio far more annoyed than the ref.  Slugging TV down before a swing.  And a match-winning lariat.

You know the drill: action decent; time too long; result not in doubt = dull.

Winner: Claudio Castagnoli

A Josh Woods package.  That’s not a joke.  If AI created a wrestler… or something.  Actually it’s a package for Tony Nese and Ariya Daivari too.  Showing them all in the gym.  Premier Athletes.

There are enough ‘good wrestlers’ with no charisma clogging up tv time already.

*****

A New Japan team got a package next.  Since they’re about to compete:

Shane Taylor & Lee Moriarty vs Jorel Nelson & Royce Isaacs

Backstory: NONE

These fans went absolutely apeshit when STP came out.  Even more so when they realized Anthony Ogogo had joined them.  One of them even clapped.

That team we just had a package for couldn’t even get an entrance.  Collectively, they’re the West Coast Wrecking Crew.  Nigel said this is a taste of Forbidden Door.  I sincerely hope not.

Isaacs snatched Moriarty into a powerslam then tagged Nelson who hit a dragon screw for barely two.  Moriarty got a hammerlock but a blind tag saw double teaming into a fisherman buster for two.  Nigel had to say the audience were ‘stunned’ because it was so quiet.  As Moriarty tripped Isaacs into the buckle.

Taylor came in and hit a knee strike.  Then a big open-hand after yelling ‘the technical portion of the evening is over!’  Which was amusing.  He continued pasting Isaacs until the latter hit a knee to the face and tagged out.  Nelson fired a fast flurry which didn’t do much damage.  A shoulder block did less, a leaping one not much more, Taylor avoided a pair of leaping knees and hit a splash for two.

Isaacs saving the pin.  Moriarty taking him outside, leaving Nelson to hit a back elbow to a rushing Taylor but leaping off the buckle into anti-air and a package powerbomb across the knees.  Cool finish.

Anthony Ogogo hit a right hand.  Which after four years seems his only move.  Nice work if you can get it.  Match was same ol’ same ol’.  Doing a package on a team before they get whupped with no entrance is some next-level mixed messaging.

Winner: Shane Taylor & Lee Moriarty

The Iron Savages and Jacked Jameson promo.  Nope, this is not a joke either.  Although this thankfully served some sort of purpose: Killswitch came in and smashed through all of them.

Long as it doesn’t lead to an overly long match Wednesday.

Will Ospreay vs Kyle O’Reilly (International Title)

Backstory: NONE

Seems Kyle’s taken over from AR Fox as the dude who never wins but gets title shots every week anyway.  There was a tiny girl jumping and smiling with a ‘BRUV’ sign, which was very cute.  Possibly the second-best thing on the show.  Crowd into Will, since they generally are but also since plain old bread would taste good after this card and with him they’re getting pizza.

Cagey start, each seeking leg dives, grappling and countering back and forth, down to the mat, up to their feet, Kyle took him down but Ospreay got the ropes.  Reset.  Ospreay working the arm, Kyle down to his knees, nice legtrip into an armwringer until Will flipped through into a headlock, down to the mat, Kyle trying to counter into a pin but only getting two, Ospreay still holding on, O’Reilly finally forced to break by going through the ropes.

Lockup once more, Kyle headlock which Ospreay kept briefly escaping only for Kyle to grab it once move until walking over the back, rolling through, boot to the face; Ospreay coming back via leapfrog and step-up rana before a vaulting cross body.

Ads.  Cagey start more befitting a match between two equals.  Needs more oomph.  Though it’s obviously going long – ages left.

Back to Ospreay chopping Kyle in the ropes, O’Reilly ready for the handspring – stiff kick to the arm dropping Ospreay before O’Reilly hit a rising knee, legsweep, Ospreay down.  Kyle pinning the arm with his feet then continuing to kick away.  Hammerlock and knees to the joint.  Daniel Garcia’s watching backstage so presumably that’s the next pointless match.

Nigel said he’d have to string together a lot of wins to earn a title shot.  Can he book please?

Ospreay hit an AJ forearm for two.

(As the announcers said we’d hear from Swerve ‘later on this telecast.’  There are like fifteen minutes left.  And that’s the first mention all night.  This company are horrible at promoting.  On the subject, nothing to hype MJF’s return Wednesday outside of a brief graphic.)

Kyle again working the arm, snapping it against the ropes from the apron, Ospreay trying to fight him off but ending with his leg stuck in the bottom rope, allowing Kyle to nail a diving knee from the top.  Into a kimora, Ospreay got the ropes.

This is dull.  Crowd very quiet.

Ospreay tried a sunset flip but Kyle got an armbar.  They then wrestled outside where Kyle set Ospreay against the barricade and hit a running dropkick.

Ads.

They said this was for the title, which I’d already forgotten.  As Ospreay finally upped the pace a bit via vertical suplex, underhook powerbomb, but couldn’t hold Kyle down long enough to win due to his injured arm.

Then went upstairs and was cut off, arm snapped across the top rope, but hit back via gamengiri from the apron, landing on his feet out of a 450 into a thrust kick but Kyle again had him scouted, following in to block an Oscutter.  Another legsweep; Ospreay popped up to hit a hook kick, both down, before they again very obviously skipped ahead in the match, to Kyle catching Ospreay into a triangle out of an Oscutter.  Into an armbar.  Back to the triangle, Ospreay powering Kyle up into a powerbomb to escape.

Both down.

Kyle to his knees, paintbrushed with kicks, he slipped free to get two via belly to back, Ospreay popped up to nail a Hidden Blade out of nowhere.  He readied another, Kyle nailed him with a knee to the face.  Schiavone pointed out a very weak ‘A-E-Dub’ chant which quickly died.

Headbutts from their knees.  Forearms now.  Yay/boo.  Ospreay psyching himself up, fighting on their feet now, Kyle hit a stiff kick and discus elbow, Ospreay countered a suplex into a stunner, Hidden Blade, Kyle kicked out.  Why?  Well, it’s part of the story they introduced a whole hour ago!  Also so a Stormbreaker could win seconds later instead.

Probably good if you can ignore it being very long, and obvious who wins.  Nigel went on about being proud to be a fan. Between the hour and lack of drama, I’m damn near falling asleep.

The doc checked Ospreay’s arm so possibly that’ll be a story going into the match with Swerve.  Equally they might just forget about it like they Danielson’s neck injury.

Kyle’s issue is he wrestles a style suited to dramatic long matches between guys who have an equal chance to win: lots of holds and repeatedly working the same joint suggesting an eventual submission.  Except he’s never in any matches where he has an equal chance, he’s either facing someone he’s obviously going to beat – like Bryan Keith, or lose to – like Will Ospreay.

They bowed and shook and etc. for quite a long time.  Kyle left, Ospreay conveniently remained in the ring ahead of Swerve seemingly coming out.

Okay, no, they went to a pre-done promo from the champ.  That is not what they implied.  Swerve said he’d had to be on the pre-show for the past two Forbidden Doors while Ospreay was featured.  He said Ospreay hadn’t main evented a ppv yet.  And that they need each other.

Without saying why.  Seemed like little thought had gone into this.

He then questioned why Strong had a title match Wednesday.  He was talking here as if he’d watched this Collision, despite the fact the promo was very obviously pre-shot and he wasn’t even in the building.  He also said he’d give Strong what he wanted, as if they hadn’t announced the match already.

Who’s looking forward to the Kingdom interfering throughout a world title match?

Winner: Will Ospreay

_________________________________________________________________

Next Dynamite:

  • MJF returns
  • Mariah May vs Saraya
  • Roderick Strong vs Swerve Strickland (AEW Title)

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Nigel pretending to leave because Mariah May was going to a bar was funny, he and Tony played it well
  • Lio Rush was fun

 *****

  • Redefined pointless: no feuds or stories whatsoever and just 0.000 doubt about any finishes
  • Especially when this was taped so they could’ve had guys stay one extra day
  • The tv time Taylor and Moriarty get is time so many could be benefitting from – every guy in the TNT title whatever-it-is for a start – how bout some wins on tv? Jack Perry for instance
  • Or go wild and have two women’s matches and introduce Stephanie Vaquer
  • Or, hell, showcase some tag teams!
  • Lazy, sloppy booking typified by the inherent acceptance of interference, any one of us with twenty spare minutes could’ve improved this two hours
  • Outside of that Gauntlet match, a week of weak or pointless tv

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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