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Rampage TV report for 04/29/2022

Arena: Liacouras Center
City: Philadelphia, PA

Before we get started, so pleased for Scorpio Sky, hopefully he gets a good run this time.  Plus, the belt needs it as much as he does.

And now…

It’s Saturday morning, and you know what that means…  it’s time for our Rampage Review!

DARBY ALLIN VS SWERVE SCOTT, OWEN HART QUALIFIER

Story going in: Brief mention of a shared history, Darby claimed AEW was his house, not Swerve’s

Allin was, at least partially, wrong in his assessment, the crowd very much agreeing that this was indeed ‘Swerve’s House’.

This one began with both exchanging holds, wary with each knowing the other so well.  Going after the arm, Allin worked over Swerve before attempting a hip-toss, Strickland showing who’s really ‘hip’ by flipping to his feet.  Rapidly countering in and out of holds, both continued looking for the advantage, ending with Stickland sending Darby out to the floor.

The speed and athleticism of both these guys is incredible.

Going for a tope, Swerve saw his attack avoided into Darby’s flip stunner for two. Tit for tat, Allin then saw his own dive – the best damn suicide dive in wrestling – countered by Swerve into a knee strike/leg lariat.  Slowly getting to his feet, Allin was absolutely walloped by Strickland with a stomp from the apron to the floor.

After the ads, the pair went back and forth with near falls:  Swerve’s fists freed him from a knee-bar, before a suplex bought him a count of two; a code red from Darby did the same after Swerve missed a stomp; a heavy kick to the back of the head earned Strickland another two, Darby reaching the ropes just in time.  In between, Allin saw a Coffin Drop countered when Swerve got his knees up.

All culminating with Darby going splat after being suplexed from the apron to the outside.  That looked like it hurt.  Both guys.

As he was returning Darby to the ring, Swerve was momentarily distracted when Ricky Starks left the commentary table with evil intentions, only for Sting to stalk Starks back to Louisiana. Allowing Allin to snare Strickland with the Fuller Leglock into a pin for the win to confirm that, in the end, it was Darby’s house.  But only just.

Excellent opener.

WINNER: Darby Allin

Next, the 22nd-Century-Jeff-Jarrett (Shawn Spears) gazed at us from the big screen: Wardlow’s opponent next Wednesday has ‘P.P’ or Pinnacle Potential.  Interesting one this: Morrissey is one of Impact’s top guys, so a quick Symphony seems out of the question.  More interesting, the implication that he’s higher up the food chain than Archer.

Chris Jericho awarded himself the Sports Entertainer of the Week for what he did to Eddie Kingston on Wednesday.  Santana and Ortiz tried their best to remove Chris Jericho from our ears, needing to be separated by security after attacking their former teammate at the commentary booth.

Unfortunately, the Sports Entertainer was able to return, also leaving the question of why he wasn’t suspended after burning Eddie Kingston’s face off on Dynamite unanswered.  He’ll face Santana on Wednesday.

JADE CARGILL, KIERA HOGAN & RED VELVET VS SKYE BLUE, TRISH ADORA & WILLOW NIGHTINGALE

Story going in: None

A Byzantine ruler known as Basil the Bulgar Slayer once set thousands of prisoners free to return home to Bulgaria.  But only after fully blinding 99 out of every 100, leaving the remaining 1 only half-blind so they could lead the way.

Fortunately, this match was kept short enough that we’ll never find out which expedition was better led.  The Baddies – literally and figuratively – mostly dominating a very short match with high-impact moves, culminating when Jaded saw Cargill collect the victory over Adora.

The ‘Unofficial Baddie Section’ sign in the crowd was the highlight.

WINNER: Jade & Co.

Tony interviewed Allin & Strickland.  Darby offered Swerve five more minutes, but the new guy had Team Taz in his sights.  The two left with Swerve telling Allin he’d be rooting for him in the tournament.

KEITH LEE VS COLTEN GUNN

Story going in: None

Another exceptionally short match, at least what we saw of it.  Lee basically ignored Gunn’s offence before smacking him with the double chop as the ads arrived.

Hurling Colten across the ring, Lee followed-up by charging the corner where Gunn was propped-up.  Ducking, the son of a Gunn let his brother take the brunt.

The finish came when Colten attempted a Fame-Asser.  Instead, Lee quickly scooped Ass Boy back up for his DVD-into-Powerslam.

For those interested, they pushed that there’ll be a sneak peak of the AEW game next Wednesday morning on Twitch.

WINNER: Keith Lee

The Hardys joined Tony.  Jeff offered some words to Owen, then began to talk-up all the guys who’d qualified so far, about all the ‘dream matches’ he could have if he defeats Bobby Fish next week.  This was very good: they were charismatic and put over both the tournament itself and the guys in it.

The Undisputed Era countered.  There’d be three members in the tournament (It would be a fitting tribute if a heel won and carried the trophy around like a Slammy).  Bobby called him Jeff ‘Hardly’ and they all laughed too hard, as good heels should.  Two good promos.

Danhausen called-out Hook, but had second thoughts when they got face-to-face.  Wanting to fight right there and then, Hook was just getting ready when Tony Nese and Mark Sterling attacked.  It didn’t go well.  Dispatched with ease by the Eater of Chips, they were then Cursed, after which Hook refused Danhausen’s handshakehausen, shoving him away.  Prominent ‘Hookhausen’ chants.

Gotta be honest, it seemed associating with Danhausen would damage Hook’s ultra-serious aura, but the crowd are into it.

The Acclaimed asked the Ass Boys to team-up, the latter had to talk to the Head Ass first (Billy, Al Snow, if you’re reading, you’re welcome).

Next week’s Dynamite:

  • Blackpool Combat Club vs. Angelico, Butcher & Blade
  • Santana v. Chris Jericho
  • Jeff Hardy v. Bobby Fish in an Owen Hart Qualifier
  • Mercedes Martinez v. Deonna Purrazzo to unify the ROH Women’s Championships

Next week’s Rampage:

  • Ruby Soho & Toni Storm v. Britt Baker & Jamie Hayter
  • Hook will be wrestling the Man, the Myth: Someone!

SAMOA JOE VS TRENT?, ROH TV TITLE

Story going in: None

Awesome from Joe in the pre-match promo: ‘You’ll pass-out before you walk out.’

Bobby Cruise and Ian Riccaboni (who was very good) joined the crew for this one.

Trent’s assertion on Wednesday that he was good at getting hit hard didn’t fill you with confidence about his chances here.  Then his own pre-match promo made him sound like a dork.  Which, yes it’s the gimmick, but could you at least try and sound like you might win?

We kicked-off here with Joe well on-top, crushing Trent with a shoulder charge and a barrage of punches, chops and a step-up enziguri in the corner.  Everything Joe does is ultra-believable.

Countering, Trent almost overshot an Asai moonsault before being wiped-out with a big boot as we went to break.

We came back to a pair of Beretta dropkicks sending Joe through the ropes where Trent followed with a dive from the top to the outside.  Back inside, Trent stayed light on his feet, avoiding the champ and hitting with suplexes and a tornado DDT for a barely-two count.  Muscling Trent up into a powerbomb, Joe got a two of his own before mowing him down with a clothesline and pursuing a Muscle Buster.

But Trent rolled out into a sunset flip for another two.  With Joe now propped in the corner, Trent rushed in but was annihilated by a ura-nage, preceding the choke and the immediate tap-out.

Post-match, a victorious Joe was being interviewed by Tony.  Until Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt and Satnav (because he needs one to tell him what to do in the ring…) Singh interrupted.  Orange Cassidy did his shin-kicks to Singh, begging the question: is he supposed to be serious or not?  He just annihilated Joe at BotB but now he’s supposed to stand there for these?  There’s a time and place for comedy, this wasn’t it.

Joe and Lethal brawled to close the show.

WINNER: Samoa Joe

Apparently, the Hangman’s illness caused major re-writes here.  Helping explain why some of this felt like filler.  After stating last week that every match had a build, here, the opposite was true.  That said, the bookend matches were good, as was a lot of the promo work.  Entertaining, if not essential.

Go out of your way to watch…

  • Darby vs Swerve

Thanks for reading.  Have a great weekend!

Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://paulreveres.weebly.com
Paul Hemming lives in Liverpool, England, is a huge Liverpool fan, gamer and history lover.

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