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Rampage TV report for 06/09/2023

AEW Rampage tonight comes to us from the Broadmoor World Arena in Colorado.  After last week drawing 357,000 & 0.12 in the 18-49 demo.

*****

Bandido & Lucha Brothers vs Big Bill, Lee Moriarty & Ethan Page

Backstory: None

Allllready in the ring, Rey and Ethan set us off to chants of ‘Lucha Libre’.  Rey living up to the chant, striking with a hurracanrana after a couple duck unders.  Page responded with one of his own; Rey turned a suplex into a cradle and hit a dropkick to send Page to his corner.  Where he got the tag to Moriarty, Bandido flipping in on the other side.

Straight to a chopfest, Bandido won that, ricocheted off the ropes, was sent to the corner, coming out with a beautiful tornillo then tejeiras.  And again the heel was sent reeling back to his own corner to tag.

Sizeable William and Penta squaring off this time.  The latter showing ‘no fear’, Bill went right for a chokeslam, tasted a thrust kick then stiff kicks to the legs from Penta but caught him in a chokeslam, the Bro saved by Bandido as he and Fenix hit the ring.

Penta looked for Made in Penta, Bill slipped free but was elevated outside where Penta attempted a tope only to be slapped out of the air by Big Bill’s paw.

Things breaking down as all six brawled around ringside – Penta slammed against the apron by Bill then flung back in.  Where the big man threw a couple rights, Penta wobbling, down in the corner as the ads arrived.

Nice fast start.  All six looking good.

And Penta running wild as we returned.  Tag to Bandido, flapjacked to the corner by Bill before the big man tagged out.  All three heels in to work over Bandido after knocking the Bros off the apron.  Page bagged two with his drag-up powerslam.

Bandido enziguri’d his way free, Fenix in, hurracanrana for Lee, thrust kick for Page, caught in a chokeslam, his brother freed him via another thrust kick, the Bros hit uno, dos, tres to send Bill outside before Penta flipped Bandido to soar over the top onto Bill and Moriarty.

While Penta got nearly three with Made in Penta on Page.

Another wild flurry as the pace rocketed: Penta thrust kick, Rey rope-walk punt, thrust kicks to Bill from the Bros, Bandido missile dropkick, Moriarty in to send Penta to the apron, Fenix hit him with a cutter, the Bros hit Fear Factor on the apron to Moriarty, Page got the boots up on a Bandido dive from the top and was readying Ego’s Edge.

When the Hardys hit the ramp to ruin a very good match.  Blathering on the microphone long enough for Bandido to bag the win via 21-plex on a distracted Page.  The only way the youngster can win apparently.

This thing with the Hardys and Ethan is just so stale.  At least it gets Page on tv I guess.

Anyway, fantastic opener.  Easily better than anything on Dynamite sans Cassidy/Swerve.

Winner: Bandido & Lucha Brothers

More QTV.  Collision’s coming up and QT wanted ideas.  Harley put across her breasts.  Not joking.  They then all suggested things that’d already been done.  Including ‘making an announcement’.  They settled on just allowing Hobbs to show what Collision would be all about next.

At least this was self-effacing r/t throwing digs at people on the internet who’ve annoyed the company.

Powerhouse Hobbs vs Caleb Crush

Backstory: None

Excalibur said Hobbs had ‘a new sense of purpose’.  Is it to try and appear on tv?

Hobbs audibly yelled ‘See ya!’ before drilling Crush with a Spinebuster in about a minute.

Winner: Powerhouse Hobbs

Renee with Wardlow and Arn Anderson.  For an update on Brock.  Anderson said he’d ‘be fine’.  That attack didn’t bother Arn.  But the Father’s Day reference Christian and Luchasaurus made did.  Wardlow said disrespecting he and Arn comes at a cost, listing all the people he’s beaten.

But before that, Wardlow has an open challenge match with Jake Hager Wednesday.  Sigh.  Are they actively trying to ruin the prestige of a title match?  Does anyone want to see that?  They seem to have learned nothing from Wardlow’s first title run.

The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn vs Spanish Announce Project

Backstory: None

Caster buttered up the crowd by referring to Nikola Jokic and said the SAP stood for ‘small ass penises’. Despite a lack of purpose, Acclaimed remain incredibly popular with crowds.

Bowens and Angelico got us going.  The former kept offering Angelico a ‘scissor’ then withdrawing his hand at the last second.  Until Angelico snapped him with a jab.  But ate a dropkick after a drop-down.

Serpentico in, Caster too, Acclaimed crushed the heel in the corner, Caster hit an atomic drop then Manhattan drop, targeting that ‘small ass penis’.  Luther in, Gunn quickly dumped him outside.  Acclaimed hit Scissor Me Timbers to Angelico.  Serpentico came in and tried to interrupt a ‘Scissor Party’ until Gunn knocked him cold.

Excalibur asked us not to go anywhere.  As Gunn and Luther brawled.  Have to keep those viewers hooked through the break folks.

Caster tagged Gunn, who ran through all three heels single-handed.  Until being dropped via enziguri for two.  Bowens in, he smacked Angelico via thrust kick, hit a double team Samoan drop to Serpentico; Arrival and Mic Drop to Luther.

Same old thang with the Acclaimed.  They come out and do their spiel, sell for a bit, then hit the Arrival and the Mic Drop.

Winner: The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn

A video package recapped all the major happenings from Dynamite.  A good move.  They’ll need more of this once Collision starts.

*****

Renee brought Company Killers Inc to the ramp.  Karen Jarrett grabbed the mic to call Aubrey Edwards out.  Mark Briscoe’s music played as he accompanied Aubrey.

Who was really good on the mic: AEW won’t sanction a match since she’s a ref and ‘You (Karen) sure as hell aren’t a wrestler’.  But if she catches Karen anywhere outside the ring, ‘I’m gonna kick your ass!’.

Mark Briscoe corrected Edwards.  AEW won’t sanction a one-on-one but will sanction a mixed trios match – He, Aubrey & his Dad vs Jarrett, Karen & Jay Lethal.

The crowd were pretty non-plussed for everything here outside of Aubrey’s mic work.

Skye Blue vs Mercedes Martinez vs Nyla Rose vs Britt Baker

Backstory: None

Hikaru Shida had Britt’s back here.  Marina Shafir accompanied Nyla.

Blue looked good early, clearing the ring, hitting a hurracanrana to Mercedes then wrestling to a stalemate with Baker.  As Toni and Ruby were shown watching backstage.

Marina Shafir simply entered right in front of the ref to put Martinez in a choke, Shida whacked her backstage with a kendo stick.  Of course, it’s ‘anything goes’ since it’s a four-way.  Might be my least favorite AEW feature.  Y’know, outside Jeff Jarrett.

Break.

Nyla had Mercedes dangling from the middle rope and was setting-up up-top when Britt shoved off the top – nasty landing as she spilled to the floor via the apron.  Mercedes hit Blue in the corner, Baker got a one-count after a slingblade to Martinez.  She and Skye slugged it out in the middle until Blue hit a thrust kick then her low enziguri.

The crowd almost silent.

As Britt blocked a suplex into a rollup on Martinez for two, then snagged Lockjaw, Rose broke it up only to be hit with a double superkick by the faces, Baker took Blue out with another, was snatched into a chokeslam as Rose bagged two – Mercedes breaking up the pin.

Then looking for a powerbomb on Rose, settling instead for a kneestrike and backdrop-suplex, Britt took advantage with a curb stomp but was bundled outside by Martinez, though she dragged the vet outside after her.

And Blue took advantage to hit Code Blue.  Barely fighting back tears as she celebrated.  A woman in the crowd looked absolutely shocked since Britt was the only competitor the crowd cared about.

Toni Storm painted an ‘L’ on the monitor she was watching.  Pretty much yeah.

Booking continues to be really poor.  Simply dubbing something a ‘title match’ adds zero to it.  In fact, all it does is guarantee the champion winning when it’s against opponents with the build of Blue and Hager.

Winner: Skye Blue

 ________________________________________________________________

Next Dynamite:

  • Hung Bucks (Young Bucks & Hangman Page) vs Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta
  • Toni Storm vs Skye Blue (Women’s Title)
  • Mogul Embassy (Swerve, Brian Cage & the Gates of Agony) vs Darby Allin, Sting, Orange Cassidy & Keith Lee
  • MJF vs Adam Cole (World Title Eliminator)
  • Wardlow vs Jake Hager (TNT Title)

Nothing new added for Collision or Forbidden Door.

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Lucha Bros & Bandido vs Page, Moriarty and Bill
  • They put the women in a prominent position for once

 *****

  • I’m really hoping Collision means we actually see the House of Black, though I’d really like to see Malakai pushed as a top heel
  • Predictable outcomes with no stories
  • Just doling out title matches to people with no build

Appreciate you reading.  Enjoy the weekend.

 

Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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