Date: March 4, 2022
Arena: Addition Arena
City: Orlando, Florida

It’s Saturday morning, and you know what that means… it’s time for our Rampage Review!

A rare live show following a meh Dynamite as we ‘go home’ to Revolution, which looks a hell of a show on paper.

Plus, if you read ‘til the end, there’s a huuuuge announcement. One that will change writing as we know it. This will be enormous, gigantic, ginormous, seriously, honestly.

ANDRADE VS DARBY ALLIN VS SAMMY GUEVARA, TNT TITLE

Story going in: Darby & Andrade each had a shot but lost via outside interference: any interference now = fined/suspended. Sammy & Darby have to fight here & co-exist Sunday.

A live crowd makes a hell of a difference, doesn’t it? This one was electric as we jumped straight into the action, all three exchanging high-impact strikes and kicks in the corner, culminating in a code-red from Darby before Sammy broke the two-count into one of his own, quickly ending the alliance.

With Andrade on the outside, Darby grabbed a headlock against the backdrop of dueling chants from the crowd. Sammy broke out, performing his usual series of flips before smacking Allin with a dropkick and kipping up.

Guevara attempted a super plex, only for Andrade to sneak back in, dropping both in a spectacular double powerbomb from the top. ‘This is awesome’ chants from a rabid crowd.

Back from the break, Sammy was hurled leg-first into the top buckle via the last of the three-amigos, leaving the champ laying as the challengers exchanged slaps before Andrade muscled Darby up and across his knee. With both flyers prone, Andrade took flight with a double standing moonsault for a close two-count.

All three now exchanged wobbly strikes, slaps and chops as they battled back up, El Idolo’s size and strength winning the day as he countered a coffin splash and went back up top with Guevara on the outside. Crotched by Darby, he was then the victim of belt whips to the back as Excalibur talked of ‘referee’s discretion’. The champ then flew in from out of nowhere with a cross-ring coast to coast as Andrade hung upside down from the turnbuckle.

Finally, Darby dropped Andrade with a stunner which Sammy turned into a GTH. Hurled outside by Darby before he could capitalize, Allin took advantage by flipping off El Idolo from the top before landing the Coffin Drop. But it wasn’t over, the TNT champion returning the favor, flying in with a senton to break up the pin before covering Andrade for the 1,2,3.

Sammy tried to shake hands with Darby; Allin refused and left. Bad news for Sunday.

This was fantastic. Should’ve been on Revolution but instead we get Matt Hardy. Delete!

WINNER: Sammy Guevara, retains.

Death Triangle (sans Fenix) challenged the House of Black. ‘The Dark Priest’ Alex Abrahantes was really hamming it up here. Not to mention looking like he’d got drunk and raided the props department of a high-school Drama Club. Aleister et al. appeared behind them but the good guys were ready. Abrahantes revealed a new partner as Erick Redbeard (Rowan) came out. Security intervened: Redbeard smashed a few and Penta Dark snapped an arm. The House looked shook on the outside.

This will be on the Buy-in Sunday.

Dan Lambert promo with Scorpio Sky. The latter will challenge for the TNT title on Dynamite in exchange for Paige Vanzant signing her AEW contract on Sunday.

KEITH LEE VS JD DRAKE

Story going in: Keith Lee has been warned by Ricky Starks that this is ‘his’ show and Keith better not show up, ahead of Lee, Starks and Hobbs squaring-off in the ladder match Sunday.

First things first, Starks’ Lee impression is hilarious, it was disappointing when the latter cut him off on Wednesday. Fortunately, Ricky blessed us with it from the commentary booth.

Second things first, Isiah Kassidy was the star in the former ‘Bearcat’s first outing, doing most of the work with Lee looking a little heavy (not judging, just speaking athletically). Could he live up to first impressions?

Sort-of is the answer. ‘Limitless’ appeared a little gassed at times in this very short match, pausing for a long time before hoisting Drake up into the DVD for the win. Starks claiming a ‘lucky chop’ after Keith sent Drake sprawling to the mat was probably the highlight.

WINNER: Keith Lee

Next, we were whisked back to Wednesday and an angry CM Punk in the aftermath of being bloodied by MJF. So Max wanted the ‘old’ Punk? Well, he’s gonna get him. Punk will be a monster to beat a monster because ‘I’m CM Punk… and I’m better than you.’

Tony Schiavone was with Jade Cargill and ‘Smart’ Mark, who’d slapped a clause into the match contract – Tay Conti couldn’t touch Cargill in the forty-eight hours before the match. Anna Jay dropped in to remind the pair that the forty-eight hours hadn’t started yet as Conti exploded into the picture with a kick to the face.

Champion and challenger threw around the word ‘bitch’ in a way that would make Too $hort blush.

SERENA DEEB VS LEILA GREY – ‘PROFESSOR’S 5 MIN. ROOKIE CHALLENGE’

Story going in: Serena continues to display her dominance by winning in under 5 mins.

Grey ran away for a while, Deeb caught her, dropped her over the ropes then clasped the front chancery for the submission win.

Serena was enjoying a post-match Serenity Lock when who should return but Hikaru Shida, walloping ‘the Professor’ with an outpouring of kendo-stick shots.

WINNER: Serena Deeb in 0.57.

‘Kayfabe may be dead, we don’t have to piss on its grave’, spat Eddie Kingston in reference to Chris Jericho’s flurry of ‘insider’ terms in recent weeks. Between this and the 2Pac shirt, how can you not love this guy? Vowed to embarrass Le Champion this weekend before inviting Schiavone for some peanut butter pie. Again, how can you not love this guy?

ETHAN PAGE VS CHRISTIAN, FACE OF THE REVOLUTION QUALIFIER

Story going in: Winner gets the final place in Sunday’s ladder match.

So, this match stood out from most in AEW.

No, it wasn’t nearly as good as the opener. But the pair actually went for pinfalls, they tried to win!

There were a ton of them here in a very short match which Christian took so much of, you almost believed he was losing. They fought in the ring and out, with the veteran hitting a tornado DDT off the ring steps.

Nearing its end, ‘Captain Charisma’ was preparing a spear, Page countered with a shoulder block, 2. ‘All Ego’ went for the kill with the Ego’s Edge, counter, spear, 2. Signalling the Kill switch, Christian had his eyes raked before being plummeted into the ring post. Page again hoisted him up for the Edge but this was again countered into the match-ending Kill switch.

Although Page winning would’ve made sense given their ages, Christian’s experience in ladder matches will probably come in handy Sunday with so many inexperienced guys out there.

WINNER: Christian

Afterward, Eighties pop blared as Jurassic Express came out to celebrate. They were followed by the Bucks and reDRagon, who each stole a tag belt before eyeing each other warily. Luchasaurus reached outside and grabbed both titles back, followed by a crashing senton from Jungle Boy to end the show.

GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO WATCH…

• That TNT title three-way. Honestly, there was so much here that the above review was barely thorough. An incredible pace, tons of cool moves before a red-hot crowd.
• Eddie’s interview (he’d get mad if we called it a ‘promo’). Very short, very sweet.

Quick PPV Predictions

• Conti vs Cargill – Cargill, sigh
• Bucks vs RD vs J Express – The ‘Mid-Mesozoic’ Express 😉
• FotR – Wardlow
• Sting, Darby & Sammy vs AFHO – Sting & co. leading to split of AHFO
• Britt vs Rosa – Rosa unless there’s a big debut coming soon/she’s winning in S.A. in 2 weeks
• Jericho vs Eddie – Eddie
• Mox vs Bryan – Mox
• Punk vs MJF – Punk but wouldn’t put money on it.
• Cole vs Hangman – Hangman

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend! Enjoy Revolution!

P.S. Oh yeh the big news: bought a refurbished laptop from 2002.