The Smack is being laid Down for us tonight in Minneapolis Minnesota. HHH is the first man to the ring and he wants to address his recent firing of Cody Rhodes. Hunter tells us that Cody was disrespectful to him, and as the COO, HHH represents the entire WWE, so really, Cody was disrespecting all of us. HHH also reminds us that HHH gave Cody a chance to save his job if he won his match later that night. Cody lost to Randy Orton, so really, HHH didn’t fire Cody, Cody fired Cody. (That sounded familiar)
HHH doesn’t want to the rest of the locker room to be scared though, so he has invited them all out for an open forum. HHH invites everyone to air their grievances so we can all move forwarded, and promises there will be no repercussions so everyone can feel free to be completely honest.
Damien Sandow speaks up first, expresses his gratitude to HHH for firing his arch nemesis Cody Rhodes, and congratulates HHH on doing a great job. HHH was unimpressed with the ass kissing display and tells everyone again to be honest.
Kofi Kingston grabs the mic and says that when Cody got fired, the entire locker room got scared, and Kofi thinks that is NOT “good for business.” Kofi is interrupted by 3MB, who complain about the Big Show and kiss Hunter’s ass a little more. HHH is even less impressed with 3MB than he was with Sandow.
RVD complains about the way he’s been used since HHH brought him back, he thought he had HHH’s support, now he doesn’t know, dude. HHH says he has been waiting a long time for RVD to call him ‘dude’, and he assures the dude that he still believes in him.
Ryback speaks up next, and he complains about being called a bully. HHH seems to agree that this is unfair, proving HHH does not watch the show. So HHH gives Ryback a match with Dolph Ziggler tonight. HHH then notes that Daniel Bryan did not show up for the meeting, claiming his ego is too large and that he thinks he’s better than the other superstars.
Hunter still thinks the meeting was a success though, and he “rewards” Kofi and RVD for their participation with matches. Kofi will get a non-title match with the Intercontinental Champ Curtis Axel later tonight (not much of a reward, the IC championship has lost a lot of prestige over the years, and it’s not even on the line.) RVD at least gets a match with Randy Orton, the WWE champ, but that is also a non-title match.
Match #1: RVD versus Randy Orton.
RVD lands a kick to start things off and then follows up with several shoulder blocks in the corner. RVD takes Orton down with a snapmare, climbs to the top rope and lands a leg drop. RVD lands a kick and follows up with a springboard leg drop.
RVD goes to the top rope and hits Orton with a thrust kick. Orton powerslams Van Dam and then stomps him on the mat. RVD retaliates with a dropkick, a punch, and a shoulder block. Orton lands a punch and a kick and then pounds RVD into the mat. Orton lands a couple punches; RVD responds with a kick and a split legged moonsault for a two count. Orton rolls out to the floor and RVD pursues.
RVD drops Orton onto the security barrier, but then misses when tries to follow up with a spinning leg drop from the apron. Orton rolls RVD back into the ring and stomps on him some more. RVD lands several punches, but Orton responds with a dropkick.
When we return, Orton has RVD in a chin lock, but Van Dam fights out. RVD lands an elbow, a pair of clotheslines, and a standing moonsault. Orton responds with a modified backbreaker. Orton goes for a DDT, but RVD blocks it and lands a kick. RVD ties Orton up in a bodyscissors for a two count. RVD hots Orton with a spin kick and rolling thunder.
RVD climbs to the top rope and goes for the frog splash, but Orton gets out of the way. RVD lands a spin kick, but is distracted when his personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez, is attacked by his former boss Alberto Del Rio.
Alberto defends his title against RVD at Night of Champions, and was at ringside doing commentary. RVD attacks Alberto but then gets slammed into the announce table by Orton. Orton suspends RVD over the edge of the ring apron and then DDTs him onto the floor. Orton rolls RVD back into the ring and hits him with the RKO for the win. After the match, Alberto attacks RVD and stretches his arm in the cross armbreaker.
When we return, Renee Young is interviewing Daniel Bryan. Bryan insists he was not at the meeting earlier because he was not invited and even told to stay away by HHH. He says HHH was right about Bryan having an ego problem, if by “ego problem” HHH means Bryan wants to be champion. Judging by the number of YES chants, I think a LOT of people want Daniel Bryan to be champ.
HHH also said that Daniel Bryan will have to face a member of the Shield tonight, and he let Bryan pick which one. Daniel doesn’t care who he faces, because he knows they will all run in before it’s over, so he says they can choose which one of them gets beaten up by Daniel Bryan first.
In the back, AJ Lee is trying to stir the other Divas up against the stars of the reality show Total Divas. AJ claims they (Aksana, Alicia, and Layla) are all wonderfully talented, much better than those wannabe reality TV stars trying to steal their spotlight. AJ appears to have them convinced, they look ready for a fight.
Match #2: Dolph Ziggler versus Ryback.
Dolph backdrops Ryback to the floor and then hits him with a dropkick. Ryback stomps Dolph to the mat and then bodyslams him. Ryback hits Dolph with a splash and gets a two count. Ryback slams Ziggler into the corner and then puts him in a bear hug.
Dolph fights his way out and hits Ryback with a DDT. Dolph follows up with a neckbreaker and then a bulldog leg drop. Ryback knocks Dolph to the floor and then goes after him. Ryback runs, but Dolph dodges and Ryback runs into the steel steps. Dolph gets distracted by US champ and Shield member Dean Ambrose at ringside. Ryback takes advantage of the distraction and hits Dolph with a big clothesline. Ryback rolls Dolph in and then plants him with “Shell Shocked” for the win.
Match #3: Kofi Kingston versus Curtis Axel.
The match starts of slowly with too many headlocks. After a pair of leapfrogs, Kofi clotheslines Axel to the floor. Axel lands a kick, Kofi responds with a head scissors takedown. Axel retreats to the floor. Kofi tries to hit Axel with a baseball slide dropkick but misses.
Axel lands a kick and whips Kofi into the steel steps, but Kofi leaps over them and is unharmed. Kofi is pretty athletic; I would like to see him as part of a tag team with a returning John Morrison or Shelton Benjamin. Kofi hits Axel with a clothesline. Heyman distracts Kofi long enough for Axel to regain the advantage. Axel gets Kofi in a chin lock but Kofi escapes.
Kofi lands a kick, but Axel knocks Kofi down with a clothesline. Axel bodyslams Kofi and then climbs to the top rope. Axel flies off the top but Kofi gets his feet up and Axel goes down. Kofi lands a clothesline and a chop; Axel responds with a dropkick and a punch. Kofi lands a kick and climbs to the top. Axel trips Kofi up and lands several punches to the gut. Kofi hits Curtis with the ranhei (SOS in WWE-speak) for the win!
After the match, we see a video from the Wyatt family. Bray Wyatt tells us the story of Icarus, whose wings of wax melted when he flew too close to the sun. Bray warned Kane that the fire would consume him, but Kane’s pride, like Icarus, caused him to ignore the warnings. Now Kane has made his bed, and he is burning in it.
When we return, Renee Young tries to get an interview with Paul Heyman, who is on the phone. Renee wants to know if Heyman is worried about what Punk may do to him at Night of Champions. Heyman does seem a little worried, especially in light of the fact that Curtis Axel just lost his match.
If Axel loses to Punk at the PPV, Punk will get to face Heyman in the ring, one on one. Heyman says Axel only lost tonight because they were too focused on Punk and were looking past Kofi, Paul promises that will not happen again. Heyman also notes that CM Punk promised to do his worst, but Heyman insists his worst is better. Renee then reminds Heyman that Punk promised to give him the beating of his life. Paul leaves, looking concerned.
Match #4: Brie Bella versus Naomi.
The rest of the stars of Total Divas are outside the ring. Reality TV sucks, I have no idea what the hell is going on with that ridiculous show and I don’t want to know. As far as I am concerned, that show only exists so AJ can attack it. Which she does. Just minutes after the match gets underway, AJ, Aksana, Alicia, and Layla all attack the Total Divas and beat them up.
Match #5: The Usos versus Jack Swagger and Antonia Caesaro with Zeb Coulter.
Antonio and Jimmy are the first two in and Antonio lands a quick dropkick. Antonio tags in Swagger, and Jack knocks Jimmy down and slams him into the corner. Antonio hits Jimmy with a cheap kick to the head and Swagger follows up with a Swagger bomb. Antonio leapfrogs over Swagger and hits Jimmy with a double stomp.
Swagger and Caesaro double team Jimmy and then Swagger wraps his arms up behind his back. Jimmy lands an elbow and fights his way out. Jimmy backdrops Swagger to the floor and tags in Jey. Jey hip tosses Antonio to the floor. Jey hits Antonio with a suicide dive and then rolls back in. The Usos land a pair of superkicks and Jey goes to the top rope. Swagger pushes Jey off the top rope and Antonio hits him with a mid-air European uppercut for the win.
After the match, HHH is in the back talking to the Big Show. HHH asks him what’s been bothering him lately, and Big Show tells Hunter he knows. HHH nods in agreement and says, “3MB, right? They were very disrespectful to you earlier tonight.” HHH offers to let Big Show blow off some steam and face all three members of 3MB tonight.
Match #6: Big Show versus 3MB.
Heath Slater starts the match, but they could have all started at the same time. Big Show takes Jinder and Drew down at the same time with a double choke slam, and then knocks out Heath Slater with a big right hand.
Match #7: Daniel Bryan versus someone from the Shield. Roman Reigns steps forward, but then Bryan is suddenly attacked by Seth Rollins. Bryan will be wrestling Seth Rollins; Roman Reigns was there to distract Daniel Bryan.
Bryan starts to turn things around and lands a series of kicks to Seth’s chest. (I used to see Seth Rollins wrestle under the name Tyler Black in a church hall in southern Ontario. The promotion was called UWA and they were AMAZING.)
Bryan hits Rollins with a headbutt and then clotheslines him to the floor. Rollins reenters the ring and hits Bryan with a knee strike. Rollins body slams Bryan out to the floor and then rolls him back in. Seth Rollins puts Bryan in a modified cobra clutch but Bryan fights out. Bryan hits Rollins with a German Suplex and a running dropkick.
Bryan climbs to the top and hits Rollins with a missile dropkick. Bryan hits Seth with several stiff kicks to the chest but misses the last kick to the head. Bryan lands a punch and climbs to the top rope. Rollins cuts Daniel off and knocks him to the floor. Rollins and Ambrose distract the ref, allowing Reigns a chance to take Bryan down with a clothesline.
Rollins slams Bryan into the steel steps and then rolls him back into the ring. Seth climbs to the top rope and jumps, but Bryan cuts him off in mid air and puts on the YES lock! Reigns and Ambrose create another distraction and Bryan lets go of the hold.
Bryan hits Reigns with a suicide dive and then hip tosses Ambrose on the floor. Bryan reenters the ring and hits Rollins with a forearm shot. Bryan hits Rollins with a running high knee to the head and covers him for the win!
After the match, Daniel Bryan makes his way back up the entrance ramp, pausing to celebrate with the fans screaming YES! Bryan is suddenly hit from behind by Randy Orton with the title belt. The crowd chants “Randy sucks!” Orton stands over the unconscious Daniel Bryan as SmackDown goes off the air.