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Dynamite TV report for 04/12/2023

AEW Dynamite tonight comes to us from the Panther Arena in Milwaukee, WI.  After last week drawing 877,000 & a 0.30 in the 18-49 demo.

Watched Being the Elite this week for the first time in a long time.  They basically promised a showdown with the BCC: Matt & Nick at home watching Hangman getting beaten down, agitatedly standing up as Danielson screams ‘Nobody loves this man!’.

That’s called storytelling.  I now want to see what happens next.  It’s a shame when a seven-minute YouTube show easily achieves what three hours of national television failed to do.  AEW couldn’t even be bothered to tell us the Bucks weren’t there last week.

And now…

*****

Swerve Strickland vs Darby Allin

Backstory: Swerve conducted a merger Friday, resulting in Brian Cage taking out Allin

Marching to the ring with purpose, the announcers recounted both the attack on Allin and him being hit by a car last week (true if you didn’t catch Rampage).

Strickland came out with the newly re-signed Brian Cage & Prince Nana after the ‘merger’ between the Embassy and Mogul Affiliates.  As the announcers talked up the long-term backstory between the two competitors.

Swerve offered a handshake, Allin replied via flipping stunner, following up with his violent tope, hurling Strickland back inside, thinking Coffin Drop.  Swerve rolled back out, Darby flung himself off the top via cannonball.

But was finally caught pursuing Swerve until tripping Strickland, sitting him on a chair near the guardrail and crushing him via coffin splash.  Swerve returned the favor, tripping Allin to crash back-first onto the ringsteps.

Then launching a boot to the face with Allin slumped on the floor.  Then taking him inside for a two count, removing Darby’s belt, whipping him across the back as Sammy & Tay were shown watching backstage.

A takedown interrupted the whipping, shots to the face followed, coffin splash in the corner, Swerve avoided another, launching a heel kick to bag another two.  Darby came up bleeding from the mouth as Strickland raked Darby’s own chain across it before a stomping heel kick got another two.

Crowd quiet so far.  Briefly coming alive with a smattering of ‘Darby’ chants as Allin crawled to the apron, the two exchanging shots from either side of the ropes, a trip again the weapon of choice as Strickland swept out the legs then smacked Allin off the apron via thrust kick and a vaulting stomp to the floor.

Break.

After a rolling flatliner, Swerve struggled to the top, having tweaked his ankle on the aforementioned stomp.  Allin cut him off, hanging him upside down, removing the boot and taking a bite of Strickland’s foot.

A light ‘you sick f***’ chant played as Darby slipped on a knee bar.  Strickland slipped out, throwing a stiff slap, Allin came back with punches, springboarding but being snatched out of the air into a German as Jungle Boy too was shown watching.

Allin got two via reverse ddt, back to the knee bar, Strickland making the ropes before cutting off Darby up-top, the two battling until Allin hit a poisonrana off the apron to the floor.  Was waiting for a broken neck.  Crazy.

Sparking a ‘holy s’ chant as Allin landed a Coffin Drop for what would’ve been a fitting end to the match.  Instead, Prince Nana put Swerve’s foot on the ropes.

Darby pursued him up the ramp but thought better as Cage stepped in.  The distraction causing Allin to eat a running heel kick then a Swerve Stomp, Strickland’s bad ankle slowing the cover enough for Allin to kick out.

While preparing the JML Driver, Darby stomped the injured ankle to free himself, Cage tripped him from the outside, resulting in he and Nana being booted to the back.  Inside, a code red and Last Supper brought the victory as Excalibur emphasized that this move had separated the pair the last two times they met.

This was frantic with some killer (and very dangerous) moves, the two wrestling as if they genuinely hated one another.

But the crowd weren’t all that into it since the rivalry was explained for thirty seconds pre-match, the angle for it took place on Rampage which has half the audience of Dynamite, and where Strickland’s disappeared for most of the last few months.  Hard to come off as a star if the fans never see you when they tune in Wednesdays.

Winner: Darby Allin

With Darby still slumped in the corner, MJF’s music played as another break beckoned.  Max being ‘contractually obligated to appear’.  If that’s necessary, why does he show up every other week?

Max sarcastically asked everyone to ‘give it up’ for Darby after that last match.  A healthy ‘Darby’ chant played as Max said they’d had one of the best matches ever when they last met.  Putting Allin over as one of the best wrestlers ‘pound for pound’.

But Max had two words for him – ‘headlock takeover’.  ‘You are not on the level of the devil.’

‘Are you happy Max?’ interrupted Darby.  Who’s getting better on the mic by the week.  Recounting a story about the two on the indies years back.  Where they agreed that if they just made it to tv, everything in their lives would be good.

But Allin checked himself into therapy during his first year with AEW because he still wasn’t happy, none of the material things helped a bit.

Recounting how he’d used his money to help others, which did make him feel good.  That he has a close friend in Sting but otherwise doesn’t surround himself with people looking to ride his ‘fifteen minutes’ of fame.

Another loud ‘Darby’ chant.

‘You know what you are Darby Allin?’ (‘f***** badass!’ came a shout from the crowd).

‘An arrogant little boy.’  He’s sick of the other three whining about his morals.  ‘Morals kill careers’.  He thinks Allin doesn’t have the guts to sacrifice what needs sacrificing.  As long as the belt comes with him, he doesn’t care if he can’t make the afterlife.  Unlike the others, he’s willing to do ‘whatever it takes’.

His legacy will be best ever; Allin’s ‘Sting’s b****!’  At which point the lightning struck.  After a couple howls and a loud ‘Sting’ chant from the crowd, the vet told Max all this talk of dads and daycare offends him: ‘I don’t see myself as a daycare kindof a guy’.

He sees himself as more of a cheerleader.  He has a fever; the only cure is ‘more pom-poms’, beginning to slap Max with said pom-poms.

Then pretending to have a slip of the tongue about ‘Cody daycare’.  ‘The truth hurts doesn’t it Max!’  He had a cheerleader and support system in Cody, the same way Sting is one for Darby.

He then briefly ran through his own career and the support systems he had, shouting out Flair, Hall and Nash.  Before acknowledging ‘Showtime’s almost over’.  But is just starting for Allin.  Promising his protégé would become world champion at some point.

Allin finished things off by promising to leave the match the same man he was when he came in, having ended the ‘reign of terror’ and become the next AEW champ.

Max spat in his face then fled.

This was really good.  Might’ve been too good.  Allin feels leaps and bounds above the other two and now the match feels like it should be Max vs Darby.

Powerhouse Hobbs vs Silas Young, TNT Title

Backstory: None

They showed Hobbs arriving in the car QT recently gave him as he warned the security guy about the vehicle being damaged.  Taz really emphasized how much Hobbs ‘loves’ the car.

A squash?  Or one of those matches with inevitable outcomes that still goes ten minutes AEW are so fond of?

Clothesline, spinebuster, Town Bidness, as the former was the answer.

While dragging Silas up the ramp, Wardlow appeared in the parking lot then smashed the car with a pipe.  Then ran a forklift through it and tipped it over.

Hobbs and QT were so devastated by this that they smiled and did the symphony gesture as Will prepped a powerbomb on Young.  Until Wardlow’s music hit.

The two brawled on the ramp and ran through a bunch of undercard guys who tried to break it up.  As the announcers reminded us that the heels had stolen Wardlow’s wallet and identity.

He then powerbombed Aaron Solow off the stage.

This is why AEW sucks at storytelling.

They told us all this stuff had happened to Wardlow without showing any of the impact on the man himself, or even hearing from him.

And then introduced a car we’d never seen before five minutes before it was about to be crushed.  The heels so upset that they didn’t bother running out to stop any of it and instead smiled and mimicked Wardlow’s pose.

So why should we possibly care about the match?

Winner: Powerhouse Hobbs

AEW then remembered they’d signed Jay White.

A package played of the New Zealander talking about all the greats who’d been in Bullet Club, none greater than he and Juice Robinson.  What they did to Starks was only the beginning: they’re taking over, because ‘this is Bullet Club Gold’.

White’s such a good talker.  In contrast to Juice, he sounds completely natural and believable.

Otherwise, underwhelming follow-up.

Orange Cassidy vs Buddy Matthews, International Title

Backstory: The Best Friends & House of Black are currently feuding

They recapped Cassidy’s recent hand injury to his Punching hand.  Which is taped up tonight.

A rapid start, the two ducked and dodged around each other until Cassidy countered a tilt-a-whirl into a headscissors, sending Matthews outside, prepping a dive when the Aussie slid right back in.

(They plugged All-In here without any more details about the show.)

Only to be sent right back out via shotgun dropkick, the dive this time hitting, to the top, Orange caught out of a cross body but countering into a hurracanrana to the buckle then a tornado ddt, Orange Punch, Cassidy crumpled to the ground in pain.

With Buddy slumped in the corner, the doc checked Orange’s hand until Matthews recovered enough to stomp the injured digits as the ads arrived.

Cassidy still in pain but still giving Buddy the slip, he wriggled out of a brainbuster then a side slam, flinging Matthews head-first into the buckle, but was caught via thrust kick coming off the top.  Orange threw one of his own, the two fighting on the apron.  Where Cassidy sought a tornado ddt; Buddy responded with a bicycle knee, Cassidy came back with beach break.

Slugging it out from their knees, they threw forearms, to their feet, Matthews coming out on top as he put his feet to work.  Before standing on the injured hand.  Then launching the kicks, mocking a downed Cassidy.

Who begged off long enough to be allowed to put his injured hand in his pocket.  Not a fan of that.

Matthews responded correctly with another bicycle knee but Cassidy countered a brainbuster into stundog millionaire.  Matthews got a boot up in the corner but ate a leaping elbow strike, the two struggling up top, Orange slipping behind to counter a fireman’s carry into a tornado ddt, following up with another out of a tope.

Then a diving ddt; Matthews kicked out as Jake Roberts somewhere shed a tear.

Orange Punch missed, a cradle bought him two, another Punch hit, Matthews kicked out at two.  Somehow Cassidy’s hand only hurt a slight bit this time.

Matthews then snatched the wrist, hit another knee strike, Cassidy faked being out of it, popping up only for Matthews to avoid another Punch, hit a Curb Stomp, Cassidy kicked out at two after a lax cover.

Orange then hooked a mouse trap to win.

Athletically, this really built to a tremendous match.  But the mixed selling of the hand meant I couldn’t properly get into it.  If you’re going to make such a story of it, that has to be consistent.

Winner: Orange Cassidy

‘Spooky’ footage played against a red background.  Christian Cage said ‘Some things have changed’ as Luchasaurus loomed behind him.

*****

Renee backstage with Cassidy and the Best Friends.  Beretta seemed to heelishly dismiss Cassidy’s injury while throwing in a comment about ‘making the boys a little jealous’.  Chuck challenged the new IWGP tag champs, Aussie Open, for Rampage.

*****

Ethan Page appeared in the ring, talking about the Firm having a ‘rough patch’.  He needs to know why Matt Hardy hit him.  He and Isiah appeared.  Hardy saying the contract Page signed before the Hook match freed he and PP from the Firm.  And he gets to pick the next match and stipulation.

Confusingly saying the stip would be that if they won, he and Private Party would be free of the Firm.  Moriarty and Sizeable William attacked from behind.  Hook saved Hardy from a powerbomb, running through the entire Firm single-handed until the numbers caught up with him.

As expected, Jeff Hardy then returned from his latest slap on the wrist after heedlessly putting people’s lives at risk to attack with a chair.  He hit a Swanton to Moriarty.  As usual, the fans were happy to see him.

*****

After recounting all of the BCC’s attacks on the Elite, they played a video from Kenny Omega.  At home, a solemn Omega cut a good promo, talking about the attacks on he and the Bucks being part of wrestling.  But leaving Callis in a pool of his own blood made it personal.

‘Blood for blood’ isn’t enough.  When he sees them next, what he’ll do to them will be ‘much, much worse’.

To cap off the babyfaces using a heel to garner sympathy, the heels’ very babyface music hit as Wild Thing ushered them to the ring.

Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli vs Brandon Cutler & Michael Nakazawa

Backstory: BCC take on the Elite’s bagboys

To make things worse, Cutler and Nakazawa arrived to the cheesy BTE Theme. And have been comedy heels for two years.  They’re the sort of flunkies heels should be sending to fight their battles while they duck the good guys.  Not vice-versa.

Both were blindsided on the ramp.  Before being beaten around ringside as Excalibur ran through all the injuries suffered by the Elite at the hands of the BCC.

‘Don’t change the channel’, yelled Moxley to the camera.  Good luck with that.

Already bleeding before the bell rang, Nakazawa threw a few shots but was run through, into a giant swing.  Bleeding too, Cutler broke up a sharpshooter with shots that Claudio laughed off.

Moxley and Cutler tagged in.  Mox ignored a bunch of shots to the face, Death Rider, Bulldog Choke, Nakazawa broke it up.  The BCC were beating the crap out of the other two as the ref called for the bell.  I guess a win via stoppage?

Mox got the mic to ask rhetorically where the Elite were.  ‘They’re at the hospital’, because they have glass jaws.  The BCC ‘put the Elite in All Elite Wrestling’.

It was all a ruse: Omega’s music hit, the Bucks appeared behind the BCC, throwing superkicks, Omega pounding away at Mox as the Bucks kicked the crap out of him.  A BTE Trigger took him out as Omega flung a toolbox in.

Preparing to clobber him with it, Matt stopped him, presenting a screwdriver instead.  Omega hesitated briefly, allowing Mox to slip under the ropes and flee through the crowd.

Crowd very into this by the end.  And sending the flunkies in did serve to make the Elite’s return a surprise.  Would really rather they left Callis out of this unless it all leads to him having turned on the Elite.

Winner: BCC

Schiavone backstage with Swerve, Nana & Cage.  Strickland said he’d created Allin.  Nana interrupted him by laughing.  I think Strickland was annoyed by it but I’m not sure.  He said there was more to come from them and they had other allies.  ‘Hoodies up’.

Riho & Skye Blue vs Toni Storm & Ruby Soho

Backstory: Continuing the Outcast vs AEW Originals feud

Seems the Outcasts have another new theme.  It’s pretty good.

Blue was jumped from behind by Storm, who came back via tejeiras then her low enziguri, bringing Ruby and Riho in.  Riho bridged out of a pin then quickly tagged Blue back in.  A double dropkick sent Ruby outside, they then knocked Toni off the apron before Skye helped Riho fly via cross body onto the heels at ringside.

Ads.  Nice fast start.

Ruby had Riho in trouble a we returned, Riho slipped into a rollup for two, then tagged Blue, who fired elbow strikes then a leaping knee strike.  A blind tag to Storm stopped her momentum.  Blue fought back, avoiding a hip attack, kicking Soho then taking down Storm via hurracanrana off the apron.

Back inside, a cross body bought two; Riho hit a stomp to Soho, Storm a big boot, Blue a thrust kick.  The faces then hit a nice superkick/crucifix bomb combo.  But Blue for some reason had her back turned, Storm struck from behind, setting up the hip attack then Storm Zero for the win.

This seemed to be a vehicle to highlight Blue until she took the pin.

Post-match, the Outcasts beat down Riho.  Whipping out the spraypaint to tag Riho’s chest before continuing the Successful Faction Playlist by launching a triple powerbomb.  They’re almost a parody at this point.

Too late, Jamie Hayter flew down to eat another beatdown.  Britt came separately to Jamie, running through the heels until slugging it out with Saraya.  Strangely, Britt was in Outcast colors.

The other ‘Casts saved Saraya from a Stomp.

Winner: The Outcasts

Honestly forgotten all about Adam Cole returning until they linked it to previewing the main event.

Chris Jericho vs Keith Lee

Backstory: Sick of Jericho disrespecting others, Lee challenged him last week

This is in no way whatsoever a main event.  Keith Lee’s been back for months and barely appeared on Rampage.

After they’d finished plugging Rampage, Lee gave Jericho a dismissive kiss on the head.  Jericho blocked the double chop, hit a shot to the gut, threw a chop; Lee came back by hitting the double chop.

Whipping Jericho buckle-to-buckle, he crushed the vet with a splash.

Before we were interrupted again to plug next week’s Dynamite.  Does not help your main event seem important.

Lee to the top after a bodyslam, Garcia got up on the apron for an hour, Aubrey was fine with it until she wasn’t, allowing Jericho to cut off the big man and strike with his springboard dropkick.  The 50+ year-old looking considerably the more athletic of the two.

More shots and chops from Jericho, who got the boots up in the corner before launching an upstairs dropkick and hitting a Lionsault.  Lee flung him off as the count reached two.

Then ran through Jericho with clotheslines, a splash in the corner then prepped a beal which Garcia blocked by grabbing the boot.  Jericho slipped out of a powerbomb to bag two via rollup but was smacked via pounce as he got up.

The big man then headed up top, posing for far too long, having his moonsault blocked but Jericho hurt his knees in doing so.  Such is Lee’s size.  That was clever, liked that.

A pop-up chokeslam got Lee another two, Jericho gouged the eyes then swept the legs into the Walls.  After being in the hold a good solid minute, Lee finally got the ropes.  Hit another double chop, another beal, before hauling Jericho onto his shoulders.  The vet grabbed Aubrey’s arm at the same time as Garcia interfered to help Jericho free himself.

Lee dragged Garcia in, clotheslined both heels, Jericho avoided a splash in the corner, attempting a Codebreaker but being muscled up into a huge Last Ride.  Garcia was still in the ring, Aubrey decided to endlessly remonstrate with him despite him just lying there; Swerve smacked Lee with something (the announcers weren’t sure about this though since Swerve was wearing the clever disguise of the same mask and jacket he had on earlier).

Jericho finally crawled across to get the pin, ending a very slow finale.

Fittingly, Adam Cole interrupted any post-match celebration to check on Lee then deliberately ignore Jericho the way Jericho did to him a couple weeks back.  Garcia was very entertaining acting furious about the apparent disrespect to his leader.

Winner: Chris Jericho

_________________________________________________________________________

Next Rampage (airs whenever the NBA finishes):

  • Aussie open vs Best Friends, IWGP Tag Titles
  • Hear from FTR
  • Emi Sakura vs Taya Valkyrie
  • Jarrett, Lethal, Singh & Mark Briscoe ‘in action’
  • 2.0 promo
  • Jack Perry vs Shawn Spears

Next Dynamite (8pm Eastern):

  • Hayter and Baker vs Storm and Soho
  • Hobbs vs Wardlow, TNT Title

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Darby vs Swerve
  • Darby/Sting/MJF segment
  • The Elite’s surprise return – a receipt was needed
  • Cassidy vs Matthews

*****

  • No ‘big’ matches, no real main event, nothing said must tune-in
  • Absolutely no hype for Jay White ahead of the show
  • Ditto the new tag champs, who saved their AEW careers in last week’s main event, but were mentioned in passing to plug Rampage
  • The Hobbs/Wardlow angle and story

 

Appreciate you reading.  Have a good week.

 

Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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