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Dynamite TV report for 03/29/2023

AEW Dynamite tonight comes to us from the Chaifetz Arena in St Louis, MO.  After last week drawing 954,000 & a 0.33 in the 18-49 demo.  That’s the joint second-best this year.

******

Matt Hardy vs Jack Perry

Backstory: Presumably they’ll link Hook’s feud with the Firm into this, reuniting – shudder ­- Junglehook

Starting with slow, technical wrestling, Hardy grabbed a headlock, shoulder tackle, the crowd very quiet but coming alive for certain moves and moments.  A Perry dropkick led to Hardy bailing outside where Ethan Page got in the way at first, allowing Hardy to snatch Perry into a side effect out of a tope.

As they showed Darby and Sammy (with Tay on his lap) watching backstage.  Just in time to miss Perry being flung over the barricade for our AEW production-snafu of the week.

Perry came back via double sledge off the barricade, the pair fighting on the apron, exchanging rights until Hardy crumpled but popped up to land another side effect, this one dropping Perry onto the hardest part of the ring.

Bringing the break.

This crowd is either very small or a ‘spots and stars’ audience.

With Perry down, he rebounded straight away, smashing through Hardy with a lariat, launching rights, a dropkick, firing up to a nice response from the crowd.

Ethan Page hit the apron because history’s proven there are no other ways for heels to cheat.  Hardy took advantage via superplex for two, as Page complained vigorously to Aubrey.  Leading to Action Bronson blaring as Hook arrived to even the odds and, more importantly, prove me right 😉.  Gotta take the wins when they come.

Hook ducked, Page took out Hardy, Perry dove out onto Hardy, taking him back inside where the pace quickened.  As Perry reversed a Twist of Fate into a backslide for 2, countered out of a side effect via armdrag, hit a flatliner then a running elbow to the back of the head (a bit like the Hidden Blade) for the win.

Much prefer his poisonrana as a finish.

Winner: Jack Perry

*****

Instantly, the champ’s music brought Max out to a nice response, Hook having brawled backstage with Page.  ‘A boil on the butt of pro wrestling,’ muttered Schiavone.

MJF said interrupting his Bar Mitzvah was ‘a little Kanye’.

Where Perry had the audacity to say Max had it easy.  ‘You’re right!’  He barely wrestles, collects a fat cheque while Perry’s career has been ‘mid’.  Though he gave Perry credit for how hard he works and the quality of his matches.

But he doesn’t recall the fans ever thanking Jungle Boy.  Or him being rewarded with much tv time.  So he has the right to be pissed, but only at himself.

MJF said he felt he’d met his equal last time they met, the guy who’d be competing with him for the rest of his career.  Who he respected.  So that night he shook Perry’s hand and advised him that he had all the skills and potential but ‘nice guys always finish last’.

If he wanted to be as big as MJF, he had to care only about himself and ditch his friends.  MJF pointed out how all of his friends held him back, and his new friend Hook would do the same.  The two of them could’ve run AEW but Perry chose the fans instead.

They might chant his name, but where’s it gotten him?  While MJF is the champ, ‘you’re still just Jungle Boy.’

Responding, Perry said that in the past he thought the two of them could be friends and in some ways he wishes he was like Max – the talking ability, the confidence, the self-focus.  Before increasingly insulting the champ – the lack of scruples – ‘the most selfish narcissistic piece of s*** in this place!’

‘Piece of s***!’ chant.

‘That ain’t me’, and if his road to the top is harder because of it, then so be it.  At least he won’t wake up alone every day and hate who he sees in the mirror.

‘That was really good!  Give it up for Jungle Boy!’ Exclaimed Max, noting that it only took four years for him to learn how to talk.  Max too thought they could be friends but not anymore: Perry’s a massive disappointment, weak like all the fans.

He then said Anna Jay told him Perry was weak between the knees too.

Using the distraction, MJF gouged the eyes, Perry turned the tables, stomping a mudhole in the corner then snapping off a lariat which left the champ on his ass, setting up his elbow strike until Max ran for his life.

Really enjoying these young guys’ involvement in the title picture.  A section of the crowd were not especially behind Perry – giving him the What? treatment.  But most rallied to him, certainly by the end.

And MJF was superb here on the mic, doing a nice job simultaneously putting over and trying to manipulate Perry.

Wade Keller this week talked about Tony Khan focusing on younger guys who really want to be in the company.  Explaining why the Gunns are tag champs and etc.  This seems to fit that bill.

*****

The announcers ran through the card.  Cole/Garcia will main event.

*****

Don Callis backstage with Omega.  Callis claimed he’d slipped last week because of Hangman’s strength, wondering why Kenny wouldn’t trust him.  Callis left to apologize to Page while Omega got ready for Jeff Cobb.

*****

Footage of 2.0 taking the Acclaimed out on the town.  They went to a hockey game, got sundaes/milkshakes, went to a restaurant and rode the carousel.

‘Are you in or out?’

The Acclaimed promised to make a decision next Wednesday.  Looking at the bill, 2.0 really hoped this was worth it

Dalton Castle & the Boys vs BCC

Backstory: None

And now, it’s time for the very best part of any show, any moment now or in the history of planet earth: ladies and gentlemen Dalton Castle!

The BCC attacked during Castle’s entrance, beating he and the boys around ringside.  Claudio flung Brandon Tate off the top buckle as Mox and Wheeler beat the other two around ringside.  Castagnoli quickly pinned Tate after a Ricola Bomb.

Claudio has new music.  At least as far as I’m aware.

The BCC left through the crowd.

You’ll get those silly geese next time Dalton!

Winner: BCC

They showed footage of the Elite angle last week, including highlights of Omega/Vikingo.  Before pushing Omega/Cobb for later tonight, highlighting how dangerous Cobb is.

Marvez asked Hangman about the Bucks – Page said they’ve been better, referring to Nick’s fictitious injury, and Matt’s very real partially-torn biceps.

Marvez then asked who attacked them.  An incredulous Page said it was obviously the BCC.  As Callis interrupted to apologize to Page, offering a handshake.

Before Hangman could accept, the BCC blindsided him, Mox took out Callis too with one shot.  But only one.  Leaving it open that he ‘took one for the team’ if he’s revealed to be behind this.

A nice simmer to this now.

(Callis was legitimately injured here, cutting his head after landing badly)

Kenny Omega vs Jeff Cobb, IWGP US Title

Backstory: Cobb had vowed to come after Omega tonight and been copying his moves in Japan before the match was made official

Schiavone told Kenny right before he went out that Callis & Page were attacked.  Leaving Omega twisted for the second week in a row as he headed out.

Which he did to his NJPW theme.  Sure this is blasphemy to some but Battle Cry’s much better.

Loud ‘Kenny’ chant as the former champ reached the ring and another before the bout started.

Straight to a lockup, Kenny got the rope break, Cobb did the ‘goodbye, goodnight’ gunshot as Omega grabbed a headlock then hit a shoulder block which didn’t budge the big man.

Sliding under, he looked for a slam, Cobb countered by targeting Omega’s taped ribs, Omega snapped back via hurracanrana then took flight via terminator dive.

The crowd seriously into the former AEW champ.

A kintaro crusher followed until Omega buckled under the weight of another attempted slam.  Cobb immediately responded via delayed suplex, slowing things down, working the ribs via shots and irish-whipping Omega hard into the buckle.

Seeking space, Kenny headed outside, Cobb followed, a chop-fight broke out until Cobb shoved him into the barricade ribs-first.  Briefly fighting back, Omega threw more chops but was dropped on the outside to bring the break.

Good match so far, the simple story of strength vs speed; Cobb looking to slow down his foe via attacking the ribs.

Having the life squeezed out of him via bearhug, Omega threw rights and knees to free himself, got a boot up in the corner then bagged a quick two.  Before looking to haul the big man up for the OWA.  Cobb instead hit a twisting side slam.

Rising slowly, Omega was crushed in the corner then snatched out of the air but landed on his feet out of a German: polish hammer, a second blocked, Omega slipped behind, a backslide setting up a v-trigger for two.

Goodbye, goodnight ensured Cobb was ready to counter with a very impressive dropkick.  Before taking Omega up onto his shoulders: Kenny slipped behind, pair of snapdragons, the crowd rising, Omega kicked away a right-hand, hit a vicious v trigger, another snapdragon; Cobb hit back with a massive lariat to leave both down and out.

The crowd exploded in applause.

Struggling up, they exchanged rights in the middle, into chops, yay/boo until Cobb aimed at the gut then squashed Kenny in the corner.  Before raising him up onto the buckle.  Omega fired back with elbows and a headbutt, Cobb threw a vicious one of his own then hit an avalanche delayed suplex.

Count of two, quick standing moonsault from Cobb for another two slaps of the mat.

Cobb again mimicked goodbye, goodnight, readied the v-trigger, hit it, raising Omega up for the OWA to oohs from the crowd.  Kenny slipped out but again couldn’t lift Cobb, who readied Tour of the Islands.

Omega slipped out again, v-trigger, another to the back of the head in the ropes, before using them to help lift the big man up for the OWA, the crowd absolutely on their feet as Omega retained.

This was fantastic.  As spectacular as last week was, I liked this quite a bit better.  Cobb’s very impressive, moves incredibly for his size.

I was already questioning the decision to have Cole/Garcia main event.  Both the quality of this and the crowd response multiplied that considerably.  Omega was seen as a megastar by these fans.

Winner: Kenny Omega

*****

With Omega struggling on the mat, the BCC sharks surrounded the ring, a cowboy s*** chant played in the crowd until Bryan Danielson’s music hit.  Danielson guarded the ring against the BCC boys.

The crowd Yes’d themselves silly until Danielson offered a hand to help Omega up, the second he turned his back preparing a busaiku knee, into the LeBell Lock as the rest of the BCC stomped the crap out of Kenny.

Vociferous, thunderous boos.

The BCC posed together as the crowd continued to jeer the heels.  Danielson laughed and screamed at a prone Omega then basked in more boos.

Altogether, an absolutely killer segment.  Loved this.

Assuming Matt can go, this should be an all-timer in the cage.  Though I’m hoping we get some singles and tags out of it too.  Nearly all these guys are phenomenal and there are lots of combos we’ve never seen or not seen for years in the case of Omega/Moxley.

*****

Cutting away not immediately but still a little too quickly, they replayed FTR vowing to quit AEW if they don’t win the belts next week.  Then hyped the match.  Good video.

Cut to the Gunns saying FTR are one of the best teams of their generation.  Austin said they used to be their heroes but they now hate and don’t respect them.  After the Gunns did what they did to their own dad, what do FTR think they’ll do to them?  Ending by noting that FTR’s tagline is finally fitting: ‘Top Guys… out’.

Nice final line and Austin’s delivery was very good.  Colten still needs work.

Orange Cassidy vs the Butcher, International Title

Backstory: Cassidy’s team beat Butcher’s last week in trios action

In a valiant attempt to make this even less interesting, they did the stupidly dumb illegal attack ‘before the bell’.  Though Blade was at least thrown out for his efforts.  If that’s the only way to make it seem like an opponent might have a tiny chance at winning, suggest you book a different match.

Angry, Cassidy flew out the blocks looking for the Punch then bounced Butcher’s head off the pads until being caught and flung ribs-first onto the top buckle.  Stalking Cassidy, Butcher stomped him outside then batted him into the barricades.

Break.

The crowd very into Orange.

A Cassidy tornado ddt attempt was turned into a clubbing lariat as Butcher bagged two.  Then stepped into a Texas clover leaf.  The announcers tried their best to make Butcher seem a credible threat by remarking on his record in battle royals.  If only there were twenty other guys in this.

Orange raked the eyes to free himself, missed a Punch, Butcher hit a chokeslam-backbreaker, Cassidy responded with stundog millionaire and finally fought through to hit a tornado ddt.

The crowd were mostly dead at Butcher being so long on offense.

Cassidy hit a diving ddt from the top for two.

Butcher grabbed the ref, Blade came back to hit Cassidy with a crowbar.  The announcers tried very hard to convince us Butcher would now win as the Best Friends came out to take out Blade, then hit Butcher with the ref still down.  Cassidy hit the Punch and Beach Break to win.

Why on earth does Butcher need protecting?  Neither he or his team ever win.

The announcers said all these defences were catching up to Cassidy while remarking on his less-than-honorable means of winning.

Winner: Orange Cassidy

Then said Jade has been ‘beside herself’ since Taya arrived.  Jade ranted that it was an outrage Taya still used ‘Jaded’ last Rampage.  They now have a ‘legal processor’ who will serve a court order if Valkyrie uses the move again this Friday.

Jade’s ‘that b****’ you’ll be shocked to hear.

She ordered her flunkies to get the job done.

*****

Juice Robinson, who’s ‘real mad’, said ‘Action Andretti’ so often even Vince McMahon would approve of the lack of pronouns.

Promising that everything he did to ‘Action Andretti’ on Friday he was really doing to Ricky Starks.

Robinson was over the top as usual.

Ruby Soho vs Willow Nightingale

Backstory: They used to be partners three months ago, a sisterhood so close it took till now for them to remember

Ruby came out to the Outcasts’ theme.  All are now decked entirely in DX colors.  Willow looked sad as the match began.  Soho immediately headed outside as Saraya called Willow a ‘stupid cow’ (a very UK insult).

Soho again tried to bail but was dragged in by the hair before slapping the taste out of Nightingale.  No Future was quickly countered, Willow hit a nice tilt-a-whirl side slam then a cross body splash.

A bodyslam followed, another, another, chops and a vicious flurry in the corner leaving Soho down.  Willow then stupidly bought Ruby begging off (which she also fell for only a couple weeks back), Soho flinging her into the ropes, taking the ref as Saraya threw a bunch of knees to the head.

Then accused the cameraman of attacking her ‘with his wires’.

A suplex back inside bought two for Ruby.

Ads.

Up on the apron again, Saraya was flung to the floor before Willow crushed Ruby in the corner, a high boot following as Soho begged-off once more.  This time Willow dragged her up onto her shoulders to eventually hit a DVD for two.

Storm crotched Willow right in front of Aubrey, Soho hit two No Futures, Nightingale kicked out.  The crowd more into this than your typical women’s match.  Roaring as Willow got two via backlisde then hit a killer pounce before dropping the straps.

Saraya again again (intended) got on the apron, Toni distracted Willow and held Soho’s feet on the ropes to help leverage the pin.

The Outcasts then stomped away as the spray-paint came out.  Ruby grabbed a chair too as they prepared to Pillmanize the leg.  Riho and Skye Blue came out but were immediately beaten down, making them look pretty stupid.  They could at least have got on top for a bit before the numbers overwhelmed them.

Jamie Hayter then returned (she’s had visa issues) to run through the trio single-handed.  She and Riho shook hands, the latter then made the ‘belt’ motion ahead of next week’s title match.  Should be a good one.

Rooting for ‘nice guys’ is fine provided they don’t cross the line marked ‘stupid’.  Which is exactly what Nightingale did by feeling sorry for Ruby here.  Though at least she wasn’t fooled twice in the same match. ‘Kick her in the face when she does that!’ implored Tony Schiavone.  Indeed.

Winner: Ruby Soho

Powerhouse Hobbs promo – he’s the man who beat Fenix, beat Penta, beat Christopher Daniels.  The TNT title ‘will never, ever leave my waist’.

So much more effective, not to mention briefer than the QTV garbage.  Hobbs is very much capable of speaking for himself.  With luck, they’ve realized this and scrapped that angle.

Adam Cole vs Daniel Garcia

Backstory: Cole’s first match in nine months after recovering from two concussions, Garcia interrupted Cole’s promo last week

Apparently, Garcia’s looking to spoil the premiere of All-Access, according to Excalibur.  Erm, how and why?  Surely he’s looking to make a statement, prove he’s the better man, put himself in the title picture rather than spoil a new reality tv show?

Garcia too had new music, again as far as I’m aware.

Seems that the crowd just weren’t into that opener.  Because they’ve been loud and lively for the rest of the show.

An incredibly enthusiastic ‘Adam Cole’ chant precipitated the lockup which began the match.  Cole working the arm as the crowd continued to chant.  Garcia slipped out and ‘kicked dirt’ dismissively in Cole’s direction.

Back to a lockup, waist control, Garcia countered into a headlock, Cole grabbed one of his own then ran through Garcia via shoulder block.  Back into the headlock, Garcia flung him to the buckle but was snatched into a headlock takedown as Cole used the buckle to land behind the youngster.

Garcia quickly fought out and hit a piledriver, Cole rolling outside clutching his head as the ref examined him and the ads arrived.

The whole returns from a concussion so sells every move as if they’re concussed again thing is a little overdone now we’ve had Hangman, Mox and Cole do it already this year.

A fistfight in the middle left Cole on top after a lariat then pump kick.  Before unleashing an ushi-goroshi to bag two.

Another pump kick was answered by Garcia, a Cole enziguri missed as Garcia snatched him into a German, again dropping him right on his head.

The crowd kept chanting ‘You’re a wrestler’ at Garcia.

Who ran right into a superkick for another two slaps.  Cole looked to lower the kneepad, Garcia temporarily stopped it then ducked the Boom, into H&A, Cole bagged two with a slippery pin attempt.  Garcia rolled through Panama Sunrise into the Dragon Tamer, Cole fighting his way to the ropes as even Schiavone applauded Cole’s ‘fight’.

The crowd again chanting his name, Cole slumped in the corner as Garcia posed atop the opposite buckle.  Then hit another piledriver with the arms captured.  Cole again kicked out at two.

Before catching an over-eager Garcia with a superkick, then Panama Sunrise.  Knee pad down, BOOM!  Victory.

Post-match, a woozy Cole kept clutching his neck as Britt Baker made her way down for a hug.  Which also played into them hyping All-Access next.

Pleased for Cole that he was able to perform again having gone through a lot.  Honestly though, wasn’t much of a match.

The self-identified pioneer of crowd participation Chris Jericho interrupted the celebration to help Garcia up the ramp.  Though he wouldn’t even make eye contact with Cole.  Hinting at a future match.

Which doesn’t leave the House of Black in the best position.

Cole and Britt then continued to celebrate.

Winner: Adam Cole

_________________________________________________________________________

Next Rampage:

  • Taya Valkyrie vs Marina Shafir
  • Juice Robinson vs Action Andretti
  • Sammy Guevara vs Konosuke Takeshita (Yes Please!)
  • Best Friends vs Kings of the Black Throne (Malakai & Brody)

Next Dynamite:

  • Ricky Starks vs Juice Robinson
  • The Gunns vs FTR, Tag Titles (If FTR lose they leave AEW)
  • Jamie Hayter vs Riho, Women’s Title
  • MJF Day
  • BCC to talk

Thumbs Up/Down

  • Omega vs Cobb & the subsequent angle
  • The MJF/Perry segment
  • The crowd
  • All contributing to an excellent first hour with some intriguing story developments

 *****

  • Egregious and repetitive interference (remove a buckle-pad, slip them a weapon, please just do something different)
  • A flat-ish second-half

*****

Appreciate you reading.  Have a good week.

 


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Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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