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Rampage TV report for 03/25/2023

Arena: Cable Dahmer

City: Independence, MO

Last Week’s Rating: 474,000 overall; 0.18 in 18-49 demo

Boosted by a huge lead-in, that’s the best demo in ages.

Just when it seemed like fences were being mended, CM Punk goes off again.

It’s Friday Night, and you know what that means…  I’ve screwed up!

Because this week it’s a Saturday Rampage.

…..

Powerhouse Hobbs vs Penta El Zero M, TNT Title

Backstory: We were told Penta answered the open challenge after Hobbs beat his brother last week

JR wildly overhyped the show as we went straight to the ring.

No time for entrances of two ostensible top acts.  Though they did find time to display the real stars via a shot of QT Marshall with the TNT title over his shoulder, even going so far as to name Harley Cameron (the Australian blonde).

‘Zero Miedo’ chants as they got straight to sluggin’ – Hobbs throwing rights, Penta returning fire with stiff open-hands before going after the vertical base of the big man with hard kicks.  A thrust kick and dropkick sent the champ outside, Penta took flight but was caught mid-tope with a stiff elbow strike and beaten round ringside.

Returning to the ring, Hobbs snatched Penta up out of the corner into a backbreaker.

We already had about as much footage of Harley filming as we did of this title defence.  Supplemented by highlighting Marshall once more as the announcers talked about him before he tied Penta’s mask to the bottom rope.

Abrahantes quickly untied it.

A delayed vertical suplex bagged two.

Break.

A boot to the mush and slingblade brought Penta back into it, a backstabber out of the corner bagging two.  Before he began targeting the arm.  Hobbs shook it off with a headbutt and an off-the-shoulder powerslam for two of his own.

Looking for Town Bidness, Penta slipped out, enziguri, thrust kick, another, Hobbs again knocked outside as Penta took flight in pursuit.  A reckless Hobbs then collided with the ringsteps and was belted with a diving footstomp off the top to the apron.  Another followed inside for another two.

(Seemed like this was heavily edited here; Hobbs kept simply appearing in different places.)

Readying Fear Factor, Marshall hopped onto the apron clutching a consignment of weapons, Abrahantes snatched the chair away, Solo came off the top to eat Fear Factor, allowing Hobbs to drill Penta with the belt then Town Bidness.

Whatever.

About to beat on Alex again, Rey Fenix chased-off the heels with a hammer.

Is the priority here for QTV to get Hobbs over?  Or vice-versa?  Because the champ’s already taken a backseat to the rest of his crew.

As for the Lucha Bro’s being fodder for the champ… both are capable of being genuine main eventers and as over as anyone on the roster.

Horrible creative.

WINNER: Powerhouse Hobbs

A re-cap of the Elite storyline from Wednesday, including the stellar main event between Omega and Vikingo.  This coming Wednesday, a beaten and battered Omega will face Jeff Cobb as they showed the war of words between the two since January (including New Japan footage).

…..

Ricky Starks out to call-out Juice Robinson as promised.  Juice played it up like they were about to fight, started to walk away, Starks flung him into the ring, Robinson bailed through the crowd.

He said they’d only fight when the lights were bright, in New York City (that’s April 5th).  Robinson referred to himself as ‘Bullet Club’s Juice Robinson’.  Totaled up, that’s sure to start rumors of Jay White debuting.

The match was later confirmed.

…..

Jeff Jarrett, Jay Lethal & etc.  They stole a trick from the NBA and accused AEW officials of conspiring against them.  Vowing to eventually win gold.  (Jeff’s probably got some for sale if they’re that bothered.)

Dutt’s overacting was impressive even for him.

Brody King vs Jake Hager

Backstory: King was screwed out of a victory against the JAS last week

As good as King is, it’d be nice to see Malakai & Murphy in singles action sometime.

A trio of fans were rocking matching purple hats in solidarity with Hager.

Charging one-another right out the gate, neither gained much until a double-hand chop from King knocked Hager both down and out(side).

King appealed to the crowd after flinging Hager into the barricade; Hager returned the favor.

Break time.

A Bossman slam bought two as we returned.  Hager slipped into the ankle lock but couldn’t keep the hold, King dumping the Oklahoman in the corner but missing with a cannonball, getting his feet up to block the Hager Bomb, discus lariat, count of two.

Right as the returning Anna Jay slammed Julia into the ringpost.

Allowing a devastating Distraction Roll-up which King somehow kicked out of.  Brody then easily snatched up Hager into All Seeing Eye (something like a Michonoku Driver out of a DVD) for the win.

Brody checked on Julia and helped her to her feet.

AEW seem to be getting behind King.  But the House still don’t seem a priority unless they’re in the ring with Jericho or the Elite.

WINNER: Brody King

Swerve said he’s sick and tired of Keith Lee.  He’s found someone as twisted as himself, revealing Tech N9ne.  He’s going to finish this and win the war, ‘hoodies… up’.

Not much different to what was said during his last appearance.

Taya Valkyrie vs Leila Grey

Backstory: Jade’s had Mark Sterling ban Taya’s version of Jaded, Grey offered to serve the papers ‘personally’

Either this crowd were really happy to see Grey, Jade and Sterling or they were pumping in crowd noise.

Leila talked smack and got smacked, via lariat.  But it’d been at least a match since someone got on the apron; Sterling felt he’d better fill the void, allowing Grey to attack from behind.

Valkyrie hit a kick to the chest, knee strike, Road to Valhalla, 1, 2, 3.

Sterling then tasted one too as Jade looked on, concerned.

Is it banned or not?

Outside of that, continue to enjoy Taya’s act.

WINNER: Taya Valkyrie

The Acclaimed vs the Kingdom

Backstory: Damned if I know

This is the second time the Kingdom or a member have main-evented Rampage.

Shouty and Switchblade got their full entrance simply to come out and commentate.  Something the TNT champ could only dream of.

Huge pop for the Acclaimed.

‘…all the fans asking who the hell is the Kingdom?  Taven sucks if I’m bein a buck, Mike Bennett is best known for bein’ a cuck’.

The first time all night the show’s had energy.

Maria immediately distracted Caster from the apron, the Kingdom ran through double-team offense, barely bagging a one-count.

A blind tag to Bowens led to a really nice double-team back-cracker as 2.0 continually talked about how great the Acclaimed’s rap was.  Menard got a text from Jericho offering to pay for them to take the Acclaimed out on the town next week.

Scissor Me Timbers followed to Bennett; Taven was dumped outside as the former champs did indeed scissor.

Break.

Taven got two on a struggling Caster, the Kingdom goaded Billy Gunn, Maria grabbed Caster’s boot, another two for Taven.  As Gunn chased Maria up the ramp and Top Flight came out to ensure she left.

‘This isn’t a good turn of events, Maria didn’t have to leave,’ said JR, playing the part of Jerry Lawler.

Gunn dropped Bennett in the aisle, literally holding his head in his arm to watch as the Taven and Bowens went at it in the ring, where Bowens came out of a leapfrog into a thrustkick, over-the-shoulder facebuster.  Gunn allowed Bennett back in, the distraction allowing a roll-up for two.

Bowens quickly fought back with stiff strikes, tag to Caster: the Arrival, Mic Drop, victory.

‘We did it!’ announced 2.0.  JR laughed.

The Acclaimed remain incredibly over.  Though that might not last if they continue to be paired with 2.0 and the Kingdom.

WINNER: The Acclaimed

…..

Next Dynamite:

  • Jeff Cobb vs Kenny Omega, IWGP US Title
  • Adam Cole vs Daniel Garcia
  • Orange Cassidy vs Butcher, International Title
  • Matt Hardy vs Jack Perry
  • Dalton Castle & the Boys vs BCC
  • Ruby Soho vs Willow Nightingale

…..

Overall impressions

A complete waste of an hour.

Check Out

  • Nothing to see here

Thanks for reading.  Have a great weekend!

 

 


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Paul Hemming
Paul Hemminghttps://h00kedon.weebly.com/
Paul Hemming got into AEW during the pandemic, lives in Liverpool, England, and is a huge Liverpool fan, Playstation player and history lover.

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