Hola senors and senoritas! It’s @TheMagnumDA with another edition of the Smackdown Live TV report. I promise that I won’t have as much venom as I have the last few nights. Tonight was a nice, low-key event that had some good in-ring action, and a flare for the dramatic in the closing moments.
ON WITH THE SHOW!
Opening Promo with Paige: Paige called Backlash a “smashing success”…and already I stopped listening. She talked about Money in the Bank, and that the first qualifying match for MITB would take place right now!
1. The Miz defeated WWE US Champion Jeff Hardy to qualify for MITB (non-title) (**3/4)
Promo City: Backstage, Sheamus was eating Lucky Charms. Go figure, fella. Sheamus convinced Cesaro to challenge Xavier Woods in a match tonight. After this, a Sanity video. Renee tried to interview Shinsuke Nakamura, but he played the dummy once again. Eventually, Nakamura tells Renee that he and AJ are not through. THIS FEUD MUST CONTINUE! Grab your jockstraps, everybody.
After this, we get a hideous Carmella cellphone promo. Next week, she’s going to have a Royal Mellabration (I feel so stupid typing that) in London, England. After this, Tye Dillinger and Naomi cut cellphone promos staking their claim at MITB. Dude, Tye’s hair. Not a 10. More like $5.
2. Charlotte Flair defeated Peyton Royce (w/Billie Kay) in a MITB Qualifier (**1/2)
After this, we get promos by Daniel Bryan, Shelton Benjamin, and Asuka talking about their chances at MITB.
3. Cesaro (w/Sheamus) defeated Xavier Woods (w/Big E & Kofi Kingston) (**)
More promos! This time, Renee catches up with AJ Styles. He says that, he too, would like another shot at Shinsuke Nakamura. AJ talks about finishing the job if Nakamura has the nu…guts to show up. After this, we get a promo for the Bludgeon Brothers. Are they in a dollhouse? Weird.
4. Mandy Rose defeated Becky Lynch (1/2*)
5. Rusev (w/Aiden English) defeated Daniel Bryan in a MITB Qualifier (***)
Daniel Bryan’s Fall: I don’t like that Big Cass is the reason for the battered state that Bryan is in, but it’s a good storyline to build for Bryan. I honestly thought that this would happen Sunday night with a Cass victory, which is why I didn’t care for their booking direction (having Cass jump Bryan after tapping out). You can have Cass get a mammoth win Sunday, and then have Rusev beat Bryan on Tuesday as well. The fans will still be behind Bryan, no matter what.
Miz vs. Hardy: I thought this match was a pretty fun TV match. These guys are veterans, and while Miz isn’t the most gifted athlete, his timing and pacing are very on-point. I liked that surprise finish, where Hardy didn’t get 100% of the Swanton, leading to Miz rolling him up for the victory. Good stuff.
Where’s Asuka? Doing a Cellphone Promo: First of all, don’t get me started on these cellphone promos. What makes this worse is that Asuka is playing second fiddle to the IIconics. That blows. I can’t believe the afterthought that she has become since WrestleMania. It’s a damn shame.
Tye Dillinger’s Hair: Need I say more?
Cesaro’s Leg Lock on Sheamus: After Cesaro’s victory, he ran out to celebrate with Sheamus ringside. He proceeded to wrap his legs around Sheamus as they celebrated together. Um, guys?
That’s going to do it for the Smackdown Live TV report! See you next week for more pancakes, more bad haircuts, more bearded men in dollhouses, and less Asuka! @TheMagnumDA, signing off.