Fear not wrestling fans - The Mayor of Clothesline City, Wrestling-Online's Voice Of Reason, The Best Columnist There Is, Was and Ever Will Be has returned.

Yes I know, where have I been? Well all I can say is 'around'. Wrestling, more specifically the WWE, has done very, VERY little to inspire words from this humble scribe.

So let's get straight into it.

Vince McMahon has lost the plot. The man who revolutionised the wrestling world, twice, has officially lost touch with what the fans want to see.

Rosie O'Donnell vs Donald Trump? Lookalikes? Passing them off as real? Man, that's as lame as 'President Clinton's' appearances in the WWF in the mid-nineties.

Seriously, what did Vince hope to achieve by this 'match'? Firstly he loses his worldwide audience for the entire 20-30 minutes the segments involving these characters. Few people in the UK have heard of the feud between these two, or what has led to this parody. In fact, I'll bet less than 20% of the audience has even heard of either of the participants! It's probably a similar situation in the other big WWE markets of Japan, Australia, Italy, South Africa and Germany. Canada may be a bit more aware of the feud, but most of the fans of WORLD Wrestling Entertainment, outside the United States couldn't give a rat's behind. And that's even if the angle is played out well. Which it wasn't.

So the angle was a total disaster and 'Hey Presto' - you lose your American audience too. He patronised the hell out of the 18-30 male demographic, which is a mistake, in my book.

What possessed Vince? Who told him it was a good idea? Why didn't someone have the Grapefruits to say:

"Er, Mr. McMahon, shouldn't we use this time to elevate some of the younger talent on the show, you know, like Johnny Jeter?"

But no. Nobody in the WWE knows how to say 'no' to VKM.

But the poor booking is the latest in a long line of fiascoes that have plagued the Stamford company for many months.

The most blatant was the December to Dismember debacle. Much has been written about that particular pay-per-view and I think, judging by my previous paragraphs, you can gauge my opinions on that matter. What bugs me is that Paul Heyman had to be the fall-guy. Vince has never accepted that Stephanie is not up to the job, on her own, so he blamed the non-family member. Forgive this next line, because it's not very eloquent - but Paul Heyman's dismissal just plain sucks.

It is almost as if the Stamford boys want the rebirth of Extreme Championship Wrestling to fail. Musclebound freaks and has-beens like Test, Lashley, Khali (he's not so Great) and Hardcore Holly get pushed whilst the talented middle and cruiserweights like Elijah Burke, Shannon Moore, Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke are kept in the sideshow and jobbing ranks. The original spirit of ECW are jobbers (Sandman, Dreamer, Sabu and Mahoney) and the rightfully pushed guys (RVD and CM Punk) will always suffer from GCS (Glass Ceiling Syndrome). The ECW experiment has been a complete balls-up from start to finish, it's almost as if it has been deliberate! But, heh, why would WWE officials deliberately sabotage a brand capable of making them money? That's just crazy and it's not like they've done anything like that in the past... oh.

World Championship Wrestling was murdered by the bookers back in 2001.

Although ECW was part of the ECWCW Alliance, it escaped the cull almost unscathed. The WWE and ECW fans had the cheek to make One Night Stand the most lively PPV of 2005 and led to Vince wheeling out the ECW brand again.

This is starting to make sense.

Kill ECW. Have the same wrestlers on a one hour show week-in, week-out - despite the fact you have a vast number of wrestlers on that brand's roster who are never seen, unless they are guesting to stare at the ceiling once every 5 weeks. Shannon Moore, Roadkill, Danny Doring, The FBI, Rene Dupree.

They and many others are regarded as part of the ECW roster, but you'd never know it. They barely even get on centre stage at house shows!

Okay, we're going to have the same wrestlers every week, but who? I know, let's take some midcarders who barely got over during the WWF Attitude era and have them slog it out. Step forward Test and Hardcore Holly. Oh and why not have some identical big man/small man pairings. Virtually mute big man and mouthy cruiserweight (Khali/Daivari and Terkay/Burke). Our champions will be the antithesis of the ECW Order - Big Show and Lashley.

So you're making boring, boring television and you've alienated any ECW faithful who may have stuck around. What do you do? I have no idea. Yeah, I know, it's all very well me pointing out the flaws in the brand, when I don't have a solution. How can I suggest a solution when the WWE are unwilling to book anything slightly out of the norm. ECW should be the unpredictable league. Where truly anything can happen. Anyone can show up, matches are wild, violent, technically excellent and most importantly varied week on week. In saying that, that is a manual for any successful wrestling show, but it would be markedly different from Yawn and Snoredown - sorry, I mean Raw and Smackdown - so would pull in the punters.

Please don't get me wrong, I love the WWE and desperately want it to succeed, but it's just so damned painful to watch the trash they put out week in, week out.

The Smackdown Beat The Clock tournament was different. It was a bit original. Okay, it worked out slightly predictable, but it was still inventive. That shows me there is a spark of creativity left in the booking office. So there is hope.

Anyway, let's move on. Let me indulge in some fantasy booking for your perusal.

The Cruiserweight Division needs a breath of fresh air. His name is Shannon Moore. The guy has got a gimmick that can easily make the fans hate him. He is a good performer who has genuine storyline history with champion Gregory Helms. Okay, so you've got two heels there and that doesn't work. Enter Jimmy Yang (drop the Wang) and Jamie Noble. Oh look - those boys have genuine storyline history with Moore and Helms too.

For those who don't know, these four were part of two triads known as The Jung Dragons (Yang and Noble with Kaz Hayashi) and 3-Count (Moore and Helms with Evan Karagias). To me a 4-way war between these wrestlers is an obvious angle that can be used to resuscitate the ailing division and bring some meaning back to Gregory's title. There is archive footage to help provide education for the feud. Throw the boys in the ring and let them fly.

Hell, why not, a couple of pay-per-views down the line, bring Kaz and Evan in and let them run wild.

But wait, that would almost be the bookers admitting that WCW had talent back in the day. Ah - it will never happen.

Okay, let's try the Tag-Team Division. It's not doing too well on either side. Only 2 genuine teams on Smackdown and a whole host of teams on Raw fighting for the unreachable belts, as they are around the waists of main eventers. I say it's time to merge the Tag-Team Titles and have them roaming, like the Undisputed Title was when the original brand split occurred.

I know, for a lot of people the 'roaming Title' didn't work as it inevitably led to one brand being favoured when it came to PPVs. Well we have so many 'brand-only' PPVs these days, I don't see that as being a problem. If you have one or two road agents assigned to booking the entire division across both shows, then it will work. The month before the Smackdown PPV, the champions are primarily on Smackdown and the RAW teams fight it out for #1 contendership. The month of the RAW PPV, it all works vice versa. Of course it's not that simple, but with the correct care and booking, it could be a success.

How to merge the titles? Tables and Ladders and Chairs - Oh My! At WrestleMania! Take Smackdown Champions Paul London and Brian Kendrick, add a tablespoon of The Hardy Boyz, mix in with a smidgeon of MNM and pepper on the World's Greatest Tag Team. In that casserole you have the exciting and extremely underutilised pairing of London and Kendrick. You have the feuding duos of Hardy Boyz and MNM. This feud should last to No Way Out, at least, with Matt and Joey slugging it out, then the 4-way feud can take over in the run up to WM23. Adding in the uber-agile Haas and Benjamin would be a masterstroke. Shelton has already shown he is amazing in such environments and the thought of being paired up with the creative minds of the Hardys truly excites me.

Yes, it is a similar match to what we saw at Armageddon, but the World's Greatest Tag Team would add so much to this match and the 8 competitors would have a lot longer to prepare and lay out the match than they did at their impromptu outing at Armageddon. Add in Joey Mercury's 'fear', Kendrick/London's potential split and WGTT's desire to be the undisputed World's Greatest Tag Team with both titles and you have a powderkeg of a match with amazing possibilities.

The Royal Rumble is up in a couple of weeks. I really think it is time for it to go up to 40 entrants. With so many wrestlers on the roster and the inevitable surprise entrants (I LOVE surprise entrants) it's hard for the 'undercarders' to even get on the PPV that EVERYBODY used to get a shot at.

Rumour has it the WWE are going to job Rey Mysterio out if he doesn't sign a contact extension despite the fact that his contract runs to 2008 - a full year away. If I was Rey, and I got it confirmed that this was definitely likely to happen, I would say 'screw you WWE' and get a sicknote for a year and travel around the world before I hit TNA. I know it's not that simple but think how Rey must feel if this is true. "Rey, we love you, but if you don't promise to stay here, we are going to bury you in every way we can for a year. Yeah, we know you've helped us so much over the years, but well, pal, that means nothing."

TNA is getting stronger - and these rumours just prove it. The foundations of the McMahon Ivory Tower are starting to vibrate.

On that note, I'll leave you. I know it ain't the most thrilling of comebacks - you know, it's not of Marty Jannetty standards - more Crush - and I know I've been pretty negative, but these things have been on my chest for months. It's only now I could be assed writing! If you have any comments, email me at andrewbulik@wrestling-online.com - if Colin hasn't deleted my email address by now! Arrivaderci!