Depending on where in the world you are: Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Evening. I hope this column finds you well.

First up, an apology, I set up the Top 50 Royal Rumble Participants in order to coincide with the Royal Rumble 2009 event. As you can see – I’ve procrastinated for about 3 weeks with this.

Before we get to that, I’ll have a chat about what is currently going down in the world of wrestling.

The big story is Christian’s rather underwhelming comeback in Extreme Championship Wrestling. I say I wasn’t thrilled with the style of his return, but in saying that, I didn’t HATE it.

Christian showed he has not dropped a beat with his promo skills and I’m positively salivating over the prospect of his inevitable face off with Edge. These guys will be electric when they finally have a slanging match on Smackdown.

Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy is definitely a ‘money’ upper midcard match and I fully expect to see Christian either take on Swagger in an ECW opening match at WrestleMania or, more likely, a spot in Money in the Bank V.

Also debuting on ECW was Tyson Kidd aka TJ Wilson. This is the guy that is more or less a Hart, Bret says as much in his book. It was great to see him teamed up with Nattie Neidhart wearing the pink and black. It’s just a shame Harry Smith decided to get a bit bigheaded and ditch his family in order to be part of The Legacy. At least that’s how the rumour goes.

I’ve read a lot of opinion on the net saying that Natalya going to ECW is a step back for her as there is nothing for her to do than be a valet. Ahem! Katie Lea Burchill is on ECW. Katie and Natalya are both in the top 4 divas on the entire roster, and the future top 2. If the WWE is in any way serious about re-establishing the Divas division as competitive and exciting, they can do worse than start building a feud for these two. Their matches will be Knockout standard (and I don’t mean Rhaka Khan before some smartass says it!).

Extreme Championship Wrestling this week pulled itself out of the doldrums and stopped the repeat cycle it’s been on. And they’re advertising the imminent return of Evan Bourne. Is anyone else extremely excited by the prospect of a TJ Wilson / Matt Sydal bout? I know I am! But wait a minute – they’ll steal the thunder of plodders like Triple H and be told they “can’t work” as a result. Meh. Poor Billy Kidman…

I would never say a wrestler should bulk up, I don’t believe in the McMahon philosophy that you need to be big to be credible (with a couple of exceptions) – but goddamnit will people stop hiding Jamie Noble’s food? He’s wasting away!

With Noble, Kidd and Bourne all on ECW, as well as ECW having a ‘special relationship’ with both Raw and Smackdown – wouldn’t it make sense to bring the Cruiserweight title back as a secondary strap on the Tuesday night show? Having brutal high-flying encounters could set ECW aside as THE show to watch rather than it being WWE Lite. One can dream.

I’ve read the Smackdown spoilers but there’s no suggestions of any new matches being added to No Way Out. I know there are 2 Elimination Chamber matches but only 5 matches on the show? Boo to that. An MVP / Benjamin match or Helms vs Hardy would make sense but I don’t think these guys will get their spot.

Would have liked to have seen Kendrick in one of the Chamber matches. Apparently he’s being punished for not following agents orders. What a joke. The guy has a great gimmick, is totally over and is amazing in the ring. Push him already you dumbasses.

Why does Edge still have the Spinner Belt? Retire it already. Bring back the Winged Eagle belt! I think we should start a petition to bring the belt that Hulk, Savage, Bret and Shawn made famous. BRING BACK THE WINGED EAGLE!

Okay, that’s probably enough blabbering. Ah drumroll please Colin: *pppppprrrrrrrr*

The budget’s cheap and so is the drumroll. Here are the Top 10 Royal Rumble Competitors 1988 – 2008 (this does not include 2009 figures, as I’d have to go through the Top 50 all over again! Please remember this).

10: Rey Mysterio – 7917 points: Our first Top 10 entrant is also the first winner within the final 10 – I’m sure there’ll be a few more. Hardly surprising the shortest ever entrant (I’m pretty confident when I say that!) has made it so far up the list. As well as winning, he has the record stint in the ring and also 8 career eliminations (up until 2008).

9: The Undertaker – 8101 points: Another winner. Who can forget his face-off with Michaels? We still crave that match, will we get it this WrestleMania? Maybe… Almost a record 32 career eliminations help him to his lofty position. Oh yeah and victory in 2007.

8: Edge – 8603 points: You may think the Rated-R Superstar is a surprising entrant in the Top 10, however 2 third places, 2 40+ minute entries and 14 career eliminations earn him his spot. In fact, Edge has never been in the ring for less that 10 minutes in any Rumble he’s entered.

7: Davey Boy Smith – 8727 points: Again, perhaps a surprising entrant. The Bulldog entered 6 matches over his time with WWF and eliminated 10 men. He was also a runner up in 1995 and has been in another final four.

6: The Rock – 9298 points: Dwayne Johnson just misses out on the Top 5. Rocky only entered 4 Rumbles, however he is one of only two men to get third place, runner up and the winning spot. The other guy is coming soon…

5: Chris Benoit – 11039 points: As you can see, there is quite a jump in points in the Top 5. Benoit’s Rumble win is still the most memorable for me – action packed with a memorable finish. Let’s leave it at that, eh?

4: Kane – 11634 points: Here he is! 29 career eliminations with 11 of those coming in one match! The Big Red Machine may be light on World Title reigns, but he sure is a Rumble legend!

3: Triple H – 12327 points: The boss’s son-in-law is not someone I immediately associate with Rumble success, but the points don’t lie. He won the most predictable Rumble ever in 2002. This is the other man who has scored the 1-2-3 and has been the runner-up the last 2 years on the trot. A quick calculation reveals that the 2009 Rumble would not have put him on the top spot, but I’m sure he will probably take that accolade in 2010.

2: Steve Austin – 15639 points: A record 3 wins and a record 35 eliminations – I’m stunned he didn’t make it to the top (see what I did there?). He is simply edged out by the guy on top who spent approximately half an hour more in the ring that him. He is…

1: Shawn Michaels – 16447 points: Shawn did enter 5 more Rumbles than Steve – but I didn’t discriminate against that for anyone so everyone was on a level playing field. However, HBK deserves his crown. 11 entries. 32 eliminations. Almost 3.5 hours spent in the ring. And 2 victories. Shawn Michaels is the Royal Rumble King.

Was there ever any doubt?

Well that’s that. I hope you enjoyed the countdown! It was a pain in the backside to compile, but once I started I could not stop!

If you have any comments on this column, the countdown or wrestling in general, drop me a line on kaaboomuk@hotmail.com .

PS Rumours that I was drunk when writing some of this are both scurrilous and untrue. Though a fun game is to spot which bits…