Hogan claimed to be drinking beers with Shark Boy earlier at his beach. Hogan also says he wants to call out his friend, Sting.

Sting comes out and Hogan tells him he doesn’t have to agree to Bully Ray’s stipulation that Sting can never wrestle for the TNA title again if he loses. Hogan is the GM and he can remove that stipulation. Sting appreciates the offer, but he wants it to stay as it is. Sting feels responsible for getting Hogan to trust Bully Ray and he doesn’t think he deserves another title shot if he loses.

Brooke Hogan comes out to take responsibility for the Aces and Eights situation and tells Sting and Hogan they should stop blaming themselves. Bully Ray comes out and says none of them are to blame for Aces and Eights because Bully Ray himself is to responsible, and he’s proud.

He also says he is still in love with his wife, Brooke Hogan, and will never take off his wedding ring because of that fact.

Commercial

Match #1: Joey Ryan versus Petey Williams, versus Suicide.

Suicide hits Ryan with a dropkick. Petey dropkicks Suicide to the floor. Ryan baseballs slides underneath Petey and then sends him out to the floor with a pump handle throw. Suicide hits Petey with a hurricanrana and then puts Joey in a leg lock and Petey in an abdominal stretch. Petey escapes and tries to hit Ryan with the Canadian Destroyer but gets hit with a kick from Suicide instead.

Ryan goes out to the floor and Petey hits him with a suicide dive. Suicide dives out of the ring (not a suicide dive) onto Ryan and Williams. Petey hits Joey with a facebuster; Suicide shoves Petey out of the ring and rolls up Joey for 2. Suicide misses a senton and Petey sets him up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Ryan breaks it up with a kick. Suicide hits Joey with a neckbreaker and then a gut buster for the win.

Commercial

Match #2: Sam Shaw versus Alex Silva.

Both men are former Gut Check winners, and the winner of this match will get 1 step closer to competing in the Bound for Glory Series. Sam Shaw comes out first, and then Aces and Eights come out instead of Alex Silva.

Wes Brisco announces that they’ve already taken out Alex Silva in the back and look ready to take out Sam Shaw next. Brisco is mad he didn’t get a chance to compete for the BFG series and they start beating on Shaw. Magnus comes out to the rescue and saves Sam Shaw.

Shaw is apparently a friend of Magnus’ and trained with him at Harley Race’s wrestling school. Magus thinks Brisco does not deserve a shot at the BFG series; Magnus thinks Briscoe deserves to get his ass kicked.

Match #3: Magnus versus Wes Brisco.

Magnus lands a punch, flying knee, and a gut wrench suplex to Brisco. Magnus mounts and pounds Brisco; Brisco escapes and retreats to the floor.

Commercial

Wes lands a kick and slams Magnus into the corner. Brisco lands a punch, a clothesline, and then puts Magnus in a chin lock. Brisco hits Magnus with an elbow, a knee lift, and a clothesline. Brisco puts Magnus in a chin lock but Magnus escapes and the two men exchange strikes.

Magnus hits Wes with a pair of clotheslines, Wes responds with a kick. Magnus hits Wes with another clothesline and Brisco retaliates with a big boot to the face. Brisco climbs to the top rope and leaps, but Magnus catches him and suplexes him. Magnus climbs to the top rope but Brisco cuts him off.

Magnus throws Wes back to the mat but is then himself knocked off the top by the other members of Aces and Eights at ringside. Aces and Eights start to beat Magnus down, but Magnus is saved by Samoa Joe. Former tag partners and champions Joe and Magnus stand tall in the ring.

Commercial

When we return, we see footage of Sting being inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame last year at Slammiversary. Someone else will be inducted this year, but we still don’t know who.

In the Aces and Eights clubhouse, Bully Ray assures the club that AJ Styles will be joining their ranks tonight. Bully seems way to confident, but he guarantees AJ will not disappoint them, like some people have (stares angrily at D Lo.)

Kurt Angle continues his crusade to save Olympic wrestling. ngle argues that something is very wrong when a dying sport like the pentathlon remains and a popular sport like wrestling gets cut. He makes a good point, but I think it’s even more amazing that synchronized swimming, a sport that exists ONLY to be mocked, is protected and wrestling could be eliminated.

Mockery is the only purposes synchronized swimming serves. I’ve never had a conversation about synchronized swimming that did not result in it being mocked, and I’d be willing to bet none of you have either. I’m getting off my soap box now.

Commercial

Match #4: Ken Anderson versus Kurt Angle.

It’s hard to take notes on matches featuring two men with the same initials, but luckily for you I was up to the challenge. These two men had one of the best matches in TNA history a couple years ago in a steel cage.

Angle takes Anderson down and puts him in a headlock. Anderson escapes and hits Angle with a shoulder block. Anderson hits Angle with a kick and several punches; Angle responds with a back elbow, a punch and a kick. Angle stomps Anderson in the corner and then suplexes him.

Angle beats on Anderson some more in the corner. Angle charges at Anderson in the corner but misses and hits the steel post. Anderson steps on Angle and then starts to work on his arm. Anderson hits Angle with a long series of strikes and then twists his arm some more. Angle escapes and hits Anderson with a missile dropkick. Angle hits Anderson with a pair of clotheslines and a belly to belly suplex.

Anderson hits Angle with a fireman’s carry slam; Angle retaliates with 3 German Suplexes. Anderson recovers from the suplexes and hits Angle with the Mic Check, but gets only 2. Anderson climbs to the top rope, but Angle runs up the ropes and throws Anderson across the ring. AJ Styles walks to the ring and is hugged by Taz.

The ref notices AJ at ringside and gets distracted; Anderson takes advantage of the distraction and hits Angle in the nuts for the win. Anderson looks very happy, AJ leaves.

Commercial

When we return, Gail Kim is being interviewed about Slammiversary. Gail is mad Mickie James has a title shot. Gail feels she is more deserving because she has taken out so many wrestlers lately, like Taryn Tyrrell.

At that moment, Taryn attacks Gail and violently pummels her. Gail runs away screaming that Taryn is crazy. James Storm walks to the ring to announce who his tag team partner will be at Slammiversary.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries come out. Roode claims the worst years of his life were the years he spent as Storm’s tag team partner. Roode also says one of the best days of his life was the day he smashed a beer bottle over James Storm’s head and became TNA champion. Aries and Roode will be one of the teams Storm will be facing at the PPV.

Bad Influence (Kaz and Daniels) come out next; they also will be part of the tag team title match at the next PPV. Daniels says they are better than the other tag teams and Kaz says Storm is a dumb dummy for not teaming up with Bad Influence. Storm has still not announced his partner when Shark Boy comes out.

Shark Boy appears to be recovered from drinking with Hogan earlier and gets the crowd to give him a “Shell yeah!!” Robbie E comes out next. Robbie claims he carried Rob Terry when they were partners, and he could probably carry Storm to. Robbie says they could call themselves “Beer Bro” or “America’s Most Bro” or possibly “two bros and a baby, we just need another bro!”

Shark Boy and Robbie start to argue when they interrupted by the returning Gunner! Gunner beats up Shark Boy and Robbie and then turns to Storm. Storm shakes his hand and says he’ll see him at Slammiversary.

Commercial

In the back, Sting is talking to Joe Park. Sting wants Joe to get his brother Abyss to help with the fight against Aces and Eights. Joe doesn’t think he can do it, and Sting seems surprised that Park is still “Kayfabing” him.

Match #5: Mickie James versus Velvet Sky for the Knockouts title.

Before the match, Mickie offered to have the match postponed due to Velvet’s knee injury. Velvet appreciates that, but says she still wants to compete. They profess love for each other. Whenever someone professes love in TNA, a horrible betrayal usually follows.

Velvet starts the match off twisting Mickie’s arm. Mickie escapes and takes Velvet down with an arm drag. Mickie puts Velvet in a wrist lock but Velvet escapes and takes Mickie down. Mickie hits Velvet with a snapmare and Velvet responds with a drop toe hold.

Velvet hits Mickie with a low drop kick. The two knockouts exchange forearm shots until Mickie catches Velvet in a full nelson. Mickie slams Velvet down on her ass while keeping her trapped in the full nelson.

Commercial

Mickie takes Velvet down with a snapmare and then pins her arms behind her head. Velvet escapes and hits Mickie with a forearm. Velvet hits Mickie with a pair of elbows and a pair of clotheslines. Velvet momentarily halts her offense because her knee appears to be in pain. Velvet lands a couple chops and a kick. Velvet goes for a hurricanrana but Mickie blocks it.

Velvet hits Mickie with a Side Russian Leg sweep and gets a 2 count. Mickie whips Velvet into the corner and hits her with a kick and a chop; Velvet responds with a pair of kicks. Velvet hits Mickie with a spinning hurricanrana, but appears to further injure her knee in the process.

While Velvet clutches at her knee, Mickie clips her bad knee from behind. Mickie plants Velvet’s head into the mat with a DDT for the win. Mickie James is the new TNA Knockouts champ! Mickie walks out of the ring celebrating while Velvet is still screaming in pain and clutching her knee. I think we just had our inevitable post “love declaration” betrayal.

In the Aces and Eights clubhouse, Bully Ray addresses his evil biker gang. Bully wants to know if D Lo got the ice for the beer and if he washed the bikes yet. D Lo replies that he did. D Lo is the red headed step child of Aces and Eights.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray leads the rest of Aces and Eights to the ring. Bully Ray congratulates Anderson for beating Angle earlier tonight; another dig at D Lo, who lost to Angle in an “I quit” match recently.

Bully Ray calls AJ Styles out to the ring to officially induct him into Aces and Eights. AJ comes out, silent as he always is these days. Bully says everyone has been trying to recruit AJ, Hogan and the rest of TNA, even Fourtune, but AJ has made the right choice. Bully pulls out a couple beers and offers one to AJ.

Bully says he knows AJ doesn’t drink, but he wants them to share a beer know, as a sign of their new relationship. Bully says he can give his hear to Jesus, but his soul belongs to Aces and Eights. Kurt Angle comes out and he’s pissed off. Angle says he knew this day would come, but he is clearly unhappy about it.

Angle says that by joining Aces and Eights, AJ is flushing his entire legacy with TNA down the toilet. AJ puts the vest on and hugs Bully Ray and the rest of Aces and Eights. Kurt Angle gets jumped by Aces and Eights and dragged into ring. Bully offers AJ a hammer and invites him to attack Angle; AJ smashes Angle’s knee with the hammer to the delight of the rest of the gang.

Everyone in Aces and Eights is thrilled and they all look out at the crowd and celebrate. While they are all looking at the crowd, AJ is still eyeing the hammer like he isn’t done with it. AJ hits Doc in the face with the hammer and then starts swinging at the rest of the gang.

Tenay observes that Styles really does walk alone now. AJ walks to the back showing the “AJ” symbol on his gloves as Impact goes off the air.

Hogan has some more announcements; there will be a contract signing later tonight between current champ (and Hogan’s son-in-law) Bully Ray, and Sting. Hogan also wants to thank Abyss for coming to the aid of TNA last week, but Abyss’ brother Joe Park comes out instead.

Joe Park sounds shocked that he finally saw his brother Abyss after all the time he’s spent looking for him. Abyss did show up a couple times when Joe Park was feuding with Bully Ray last year, but I guess he forgot that. Hogan says that Abyss is what TNA needs now, and he wants Joe to get in touch with him and get him here.

Devon comes out with Aces and Eights and says he also wants a piece of Abyss; specifically he says he wants a “chunk of his ass.” I’m not sure why he would rather have a chunk of ass than an arm, leg, or nut; I guess Devon is an ass man.

Joe Park says he wants to fight Devon for the TV title right now; Devon says Park hasn’t beaten anyone, why should he get a TV title shot? D Lo Brown says he wants to kick Park’s ass himself and Devon agrees. D Lo is trying to get back into the club as a full member; right now he’s not allowed to wear a member’s leather vest, he just gets a prospect’s t-shirt.

Hogan makes the match between Park and D Lo and further stipulates that if Joe Park wins he gets a TV title shot against Devon next week.

Commercial

Match #1:  Bobby Roode versus Chavo Guerrero.

Chavo and Roode lock up. Roode gets behind Chavo but Chavo takes him down with a hip toss.  They lock up again and Roode gets Chavo in a headlock. Chavo whips Roode to the ropes and Roode downs Chavo with a shoulder block. Chavo hip tosses Roode again and then puts him in a headlock.

Chavo sends Roode out to the floor with a hurricanrana. Chavo jumps out onto the ring apron but Roode trips him up and then slams him into the guard rail. Roode hits Chavo with an elbow and then rolls him back into the ring.  Roode hits Chavo with a bodyslam and a knee drop.

Chavo lands a kick and Roode responds with an eye poke followed by a blockbuster. The two men exchange punches until Chavo lands a kick, a shoulder block, and then a slingshot senton. Chavo tries for a tornado DDT but Roode blocks it. Chavo hits three straight vertical suplexes and then climbs to the top.

Roode falls into the ropes, causing Chavo to fall to the floor. James Storm walks to the ring with beer bottle in hand and spits beer into Roode’s face. Roode rolls out to the floor while Storm brandishes the beer bottle as a weapon. The ref calls for the bell, ending the match on a disqualification.

Commercial

When we return, Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring to call out AJ Styles. AJ doesn’t come out, but Ken Anderson does.

Anderson says that Angle sounds like a woman. That could be an insult I suppose, but it really depends which woman he sounds like. If he sounds like Fran Drescher, that’s a problem, but if he sounds like Grace Jones that could be pretty intimidating.

Anderson says AJ will be joining Aces and Eights next week, and he double dog dares Angle to come. Angle says he doesn’t want to wait a week for a fight and pummels Ken Anderson. AJ Styles comes up behind Angle and knocks him down with an enzuigiri. Anderson celebrates at ringside.

Commercial

Match #2: Gut Check Winner Jay Bradley versus Gut Check Winner Christian York.  The winner gets one step closer to qualifying for the Bound For Glory Series.

Jay gets off to a strong start and lands a long series of strikes; elbows, chops, punches, and a big boot to the head. Bradley puts York in a chin lock but York gets out of it. York hits Jay with a springboard back elbow and Bradley responds with a bodyslam. York hits Bradley with an enzuigiri and a hurricanrana.

York hits Bradley in the corner with a running back senton. The two men exchange punches again until York lands a pair of kicks.  York climbs to the top rope but Bradley dodges.  Bradley hits York with the Boomstick clothesline for the win.

Commercial

When we return, Brooke Hogan is talking to Mickie James and tells her she will get a title shot at Velvet Sky next week.  They are interrupted by Brooke’s ‘husband’ Bully Ray. Bully tells Brooke to tell ‘dad’ that the contract signing with Sting later tonight is going to be more of a negotiation.  Bully also promises to never divorce Brooke.

Match #3: Gail Kim versus Velvet Sky.

Gail and Velvet start fighting immediately. Velvet is going into the match with an injured leg. Velvet gets the early advantage and scores with a pair of arm drags and several kicks followed by a hurricanrana. Gail blocks a kick and then goes after the injured leg of Velvet Sky.

Gail pounds and twists Velvet’s leg for several minutes. Gail gets Velvet in a Texas Cloverleaf but Velvet makes it to the ropes. Gail puts her boot to Velvet’s face in the corner. Gail lands a pair of kicks and climbs to the top rope. Velvet cuts her off and throws her to mat, but can’t capitalize because of her bad leg.

Velvet manages to land a pair of clotheslines before her knee gives out and she falls to the mat again. Velvet lands a kick and then tries to tie Gail up for “In Yo Face” but Gail blocks it. Gail twists Velvet’s bad leg, but Velvet pushes Gail off with her good leg.

Gail hits the corner and Velvet rolls her up as she bounces out of the corner and covers her for the three count!  After the match, Gail attacks Velvet and puts her in a figure four leg lock in the steel post.

After the match, the three men fighting for the X division title tonight (Chris Sabin, Kenny King, and Petey Williams) talk a little trash. Sabin says Kenny King is the king of nothing, except maybe male strippers. (Why is that bad?  If people paid me money to strip, I’d be naked now. And I wouldn’t tell you about it either, so now you’ll have to wonder every week.)

Kenny King calls Sabin “Frail Sabin” (a pun on the “Hail Sabin” chant that often accompanies Sabin to the ring) and declares himself royalty, and Petey Williams thinks he’s got it figured out.

Next week, Suicide returns.

Commercial

Match #4: Chris Sabin versus Petey Williams versus Kenny King.

King rolls out to the floor as the match starts leaving Sabin and Petey to fight each other. Williams puts Sabin in a headlock but Sabin escapes and twists Petey’s arm. Sabin takes Williams down with a series of armdrags. Williams trips Sabin into the ropes, and then King reaches in to trip up Williams.

King drags Williams to the floor and then enters the ring himself. Sabin trips King and then hits him with some chops and a kick. King responds with an elbow and a rolling wheel kick. Petey dropkicks Sabin out to the floor but then gets choked on the top rope by King. King hits Williams with a punch and then hits Sabin with a baseball slide dropkick.  King hits Petey with a body slam and springboard legdrop.

King tries to tie up Petey’s arm and head, but Williams gets free. King snaps Williams’ head on the top rope while leaping to the floor. Sabin hits King with a couple forearms and then a suplex. Sabin and Williams exchange strikes and Williams knocks Sabin to the floor.

Petey hits Sabin with a suicide dive and then hits King with a side Russian leg sweep back in the ring. Petey hits King with a cradle DDT and gets a 2 count. Sabin lands several strikes to Williams and then tries a tornado DDT on King but King blocks it. King hits Sabin with a pair of kicks and then hits Williams with a swinging neckbreaker.  Sabin hits King with an enzuigiri and a back kick to the gut.

Sabin hangs King upside down in the corner. Petey tries to hit Sabin with the Canadian destroyer but Sabin blocks it and throws Williams into King. Sabin powerbombs Williams but is then hit with a flying knee by King. King hits Sabin with the Royal Flush for the win.

Commercial

Match #5: Christopher Daniels with Kaz versus Hernandez.

Hernandez pushes Daniels to the corner; Daniels responds with an eye poke, a kick, and an eye rake. Daniels tries a bodyslam but can’t get Hernandez up. Hernandez drops Daniels with a delayed vertical suplex. Hernandez hits Daniels with a backbreaker and then walks up the entrance ramp.

Hernandez runs back to the ring and leaps over the top rope into Daniels. Hernandez lands a kick but is then tripped by Kaz. Daniels hits Hernandez in the back with a clubbing blow. Daniels hits Hernandez with a neckbreaker and then throws him to the floor where Kaz stomps on him.

Hernandez climbs back up to the edge of the ring and slingshots himself into Daniels. Hernandez knocks Daniels down a couple more time and then misses a Stinger splash. James Storm walks out to the ring with a beer again.  Hernandez knocks Daniels down again after the distraction and covers him for the win!

After the match, Storm announces that he was told by Hogan that at Slammiversary, Chavo and Hernandez will have to defend against Roode/Aries, Bad Influence, and James Storm with a partner of his choosing.

Commercial

Match #6: D Lo versus Joe Park.

D Lo starts off with a knee, a punch, and a bodyslam. Park responds with several awkward looking punches. D Lo throws Park to the floor and slams his head into the edge of the ring before throwing him back in. Park lands a few more punches, D Lo responds with a dropkick to the knee followed by a shining wizard.

D Lo hits park with a clothesline but misses a Stinger splash. D Lo hits Park with a leg lariat and then pummels him in the corner.  D lo punches at the head of Park repeatedly until his knuckles get bloody. Park sees the blood on his hands and in his eyes and becomes enraged.

Park hits D Lo with a pair of stiff clotheslines and a Stinger splash and then beats him with a Black Hole Slam!!   After the match, Park regains his composure and asks what happened.

Commercial

When we return Jeremy Borash is in the ring behind a podium. Jeremy calls out Bully Ray and Sting for their contract signing. Bully comes out first and violently shoves Borash out of the ring and asks if we know who he is. He tells us in case some people forgot. Bully also calls out Sting and Hogan.

Sting comes to the ring and Hogan waits outside the ring. Bully notes that this is the first time he’s been face to face with Sting since he screwed him, Hogan, and especially Hogan’s daughter. Bully says he is apologizing for none of it.  Sting says Bully should probably break his arm in two, break his legs and make him bleed.

Sting says if Bully Ray does NOT do those things, then Sting will definitely do them to Bully Ray, with emphasis on the bleeding. Sting says he wants the match to be no holds barred. Bully says a lot of people would probably like to see him bleed at Sting’s hands, but he doesn’t seem scared.

Bully says if Sting wants a no holds barred match, he’s got it on 1 condition; if Sting loses he is never allowed to compete for the TNA title again. Hogan tells Sting not to do it, but Bully tells Hulk to shut up and asks Sting if he’s going to let Hogan tell him what to do again.

Sting says yes and Bully pushes him. Sting responds with a punch and they start punching back and forth. Sting appears to be getting the upper hand as Impact goes off the air.

Angle is sick of AJ refusing to take a side, and Sting is trying to get Kurt to calm down and coax AJ into helping. AJ eventually just walks away and Kurt confronts him on the entrance ramp. Angle and AJ start fighting while Sting watches from the ring. Aces and Eights sneak up behind Sting and take him out with a 3D, courtesy of Devon and Bully Ray.

Commercial

Match #1: Tara with Jesse and Gail Kim versus Mickie James and Knockouts champ Velvet Sky.

Mickie and Gail start the match off. Mickie hits Tara with a Punch, a clothesline, and then dropkicks Tara. Jesse trips up Mickie and Gail stomps on her. Gail tags Tara and they double team Mickie. Gail ties Mickie upside down in the corner and then hits her with a baseball slide dropkick to the face.

Gail hits Mickie with a couple forearm shots and a clothesline in the corner. Mickie fights back with a couple forearm shots and a kick to the head. Both wrestlers tag out at the same time. Velvet hits Tara with a pair of clotheslines and a kick.

Velvet follows up with a neckbreaker and Gail runs in to make the save. Velvet whips Gail into Jesse, and then hits Tara with In Yo Face (double underhook sit out facebuster) for the win. After the match Gail attacks her partner Tara, apparently because she got pinned. Gail puts Tara in a rope hung figure four leg lock.

In the back, Bully Ray and the rest of Aces and Eights celebrate the first ever 3D on Sting. D Lo shows up, apparently uninvited. D Lo is in serious trouble for saying “I quit” in his match against Kurt Angle last week.

Commercial

When we return, Kaz and Daniels (Bad Influence) are trying to bribe James Storm with beer. Storm will be the special referee in the #1contenders match later tonight between Bad Influence and Aries/Roode. Kaz even proposes reuniting Fortune with just the three of them; they could call it “threetune”.

Storm drinks the beer but I don’t think he was impressed. Aces and Eights go the ring en masse. Bully Ray asks D Lo what he is going to do to earn his way back into the club. D Lo says he wants to be the man to face Magnus in his scheduled match tonight. Bully says Doc is going to face Magnus instead, and D Lo can sit at the timekeepers table and hope Doc wins.

Commercial

Match #2: Doc versus Magnus.

Doc starts the match off with a headlock. Doc lands several punches and a Stinger splash on Magnus. Doc puts Magnus in a chin lock and Magnus elbows his way out of it. The two men exchange several strikes and clotheslines. Magnus goes to the top and Doc cuts him off.

Doc tries for a superplex but Magnus pushes him off. Magnus hits Doc with a flying elbow from the top rope and gets a two count. D Lo pulls Magnus out of the ring and Magnus slams D Lo into the steps. Magnus re enters the ring and Doc hits him with a flapjack. D Lo looks disoriented and grabs Doc’s leg by mistake. Magnus rolls Doc up for the win, thanks in part to D Lo’s blown interference.

Commercial

D Lo is getting chewed out in the Aces and Eights clubhouse. Bully tells the others to hold him down and takes his colors from him. Bully says D Lo is a bitch, and from now on is only a prospect, not a full-fledged member. Now D Lo’s job is to make sure the beer is cold and to wash the bikes.

In the back, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode approach James Storm and try to bribe him with beer and wine. Aries had already convinced Roode to tell Storm that Storm was the real star of Beer Money, and that the only reason he beat him for the world title is because he hit him with a beer bottle. Roode reluctantly does it, but I’m not sure Storm was buying it. Storm tells Roode it was no fluke when Aries beat Roode for the world title, stirring things up between them.

Commercial

Match #3: Austin Aries and Bobby Roode versus Daniels and Kazarian for the #1 contender for the tag titles.

During the introductions, Austin Aries backs Christy Hemme into the corner and then climbs the ropes, posing with his groin in her face. Aries and Kazarian start things off. The two men trade arm locks and reversals until Aries gets a takedown and spins on Kazarian’s back. Aries poses in the corner.

Aries and Kaz go at it again and they each rake the others eyes. Both men stagger around the ring blind and walk over to the wrong corner. They eventually make their way to their respective corner and tag in Daniels and Roode. The two men exchange kicks and shoulder blocks. Roode hits Daniels with a clothesline and a pair of knees to the gut. Roode takes Daniels down with a leg sweep and follows up with a neckbreaker.

Roode tags in Aries and Aries lands a flying elbow to Daniels and goes for a cover. Storm is very slow to start the count and Aries only gets a two. Aries hits Daniels with a punch, a palm strike, and an elbow. Aries throws Daniels to the floor and then climbs to the top. Aries hits Daniels with a double axe handle and then rolls him in. Daniels throws Roode to the floor and Kaz hits him with a double axe handle. Kaz rolls Roode back in and then Kaz and Daniels double team him. Roode tags in Aries and Aries hits Kaz with a dropkick.

Aries hits Daniels with a punch and a roaring elbow and then backdrops him to the floor. Aries hits Daniels with a suicide dive and then rolls him into the ring. Aries climbs to the top and hits a frog splash, but Kaz runs in to make the save. Kaz and Daniels double team Aries until Roode comes in to help. Aries hits Kaz with a shoulder block and Daniels hits Roode with an STO.

Aries and Daniels trade strikes. Daniels goes for Angels Wings but Aries blocks it; Aries goes for the Brain Buster but Daniels blocks it. Daniels rolls Aries up but he grabs the tights and Storm refuses to count. Aries offers Storm a beer and Storm drinks it. Storm hits Daniels with a superkick as Aries cheers. Aries covers Daniels but Storm only counts to 2.

Storm then hits Aries with a superkick and walks away. I smell a triple threat match for the tag titles. After the match, Magnus gets beaten down by Aces and Eights in the back. He fights back for a while, landing a nut shot and taking a couple people out with a stick, but eventually he gets overwhelmed and crushed under some metal equipment.

Commercial

When we return, X division champ Kenny King makes his way to the ring. King praises the returning Chris Sabin (Hail Sabin!) and expresses his admiration for the way Sabin has fought back from his injuries. Sabin says after losing the last two years to injuries, he’s going to wrestle each match like it could be his last, and promises to win the X Division title.

King offers to let Sabin hold the X Division title one more time out of respect. King then shows his true colors and calls him “Frail Sabin” and says this is the closest he’s ever going to get to being X division champ while King is still alive. King also promise to rain golden showers on his parade and demands his belt back. Sabin tosses King the belt and then knocks him out of the ring.

Commercial

Match #4: Mr. Anderson, Bully Ray, and Devon versus Sting, Kurt Angle, and possibly someone else if Hogan is able to convince him to show up.

Angle and Devon start the match off and exchange strikes. Devon rakes Angles eyes to get the advantage. Angle hits Devon with a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Devon tags in Bully Ray and Ray lands an elbow. Angle takes Bully Ray down with a couple arm drags and then tags in Sting.

Ray tags in Anderson and Anderson hits Sting with a kick and a punch. Sting hits Anderson with an atomic drop and a dropkick. Anderson gets caught up in the ropes and Sting pulls the ropes up into his crotch. Sting tags in Kurt and Kurt lands several strikes to Anderson. Anderson tags in Devon and Devon whips Angle into the corner.

Aces and Eights isolate Angle in their corner and triple team him for a few minutes. As Bully and Devon continue beating on Angle, the screen switches to the back area where everyone from Aces and Eights has been knocked out. No explanation given, but it looks like whoever Hogan was trying to get has shown up.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray hits Angle with a dropkick! It looks like Bully Ray finally found a use for his massive calves. Bully tags in Anderson and Anderson lands a couple punches. Anderson tags in Devon and Devon hits Angle with a neckbreaker. Devon keeps working on Angle’s neck until Kurt is able to punch his way out. Devon hits Angle with a bodyslam and follows it up with a leg drop.

After the leg drop, Devon poses and flexes like Hogan. Devon tags in Bully Ray and Ray hits Angle with a double axe handle and a neckbreaker. Ray lands a chop but then Angle pulls an Angle slam out of nowhere! Angle crawls over to Sting and makes the tag; Ray tags in Devon. Sting hits Devon with a splash and a Scorpion Death Drop. Anderson runs in to help but Sting throws him out of the ring.

Sting hits Devon with a Stinger splash and a one armed bulldog. Bully Ray runs in to make the save and Bully Ray and Sting face off. Sting will be facing Ray for the TNA title at Slammiversary. Sting and Ray exchange punches with Sting getting the upper hand. Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock but Anderson breaks it up. Anderson hits Sting with a Mic Check and then rolls out of the ring to slam Kurt Angle into the steel steps.

Devon and Bully Ray set up a table in the ring but get interrupted by the return of the monster Abyss!! Abyss takes down Devon and Bully Ray at the same time with a double clothesline. Abyss hits Devon and Bully Ray with big running splashes in the corner and then hits them both with boots to faces (could be a chant.)

Anderson slides back into the ring and gets choke-slammed by Abyss through the table. Abyss hits Devon with a black hole slam and covers him for the win! Abyss stands triumphantly in the ring as Impact goes off the air.

Matt Morgan comes to the ring to confront Hogan and Sting. Morgan is angry because he thinks Hogan is going to make Sting the #1 contender to face Bully Ray at Slammiversary for the TNA title. Hogan announces that his plan was to have a #1 contenders match later tonight between Sting and Matt Morgan.

Thankfully he didn’t order them to sit down and talk about it until Hogan feels like he wants to pick a winner.  I always hated it when they did that. The main event tonight will be Sting versus Morgan in a #1 contenders match.

Chris Sabin is shown recovering from his injuries and will be in action later tonight

Commercial

Match #1: Sonjay Dutt versus Zema Ion versus Chris Sabin to determine the #1 contender to the X division title.

Zema starts the match by pie facing Sonjay and Sabin; they respond by throwing him out of the ring.  Sabin hits Sonjay with a kick, Sonjay responds with a hurricanrana. Sabin hits Sonjay with an enzuigiri. Zema flips into the ring and takes Sabin and Sonjay over at the same time with a sunset flip.

Zema hits Sabin with a kick and Sabin falls into the ropes. Zema hits Sabin in the back with a running double knee strike. Sabin hits Zema with a pair of chops and Zema takes Sabin down with a hair pull. Zema ties Sabin and Sonjay up in a weird three way roll up that nearly pins both men.

Sonjay lands a couple punches to Sabin, a tilt a whirl DDT to Zema, and a standing shooting star press to Sabin.  Zema hits Sonjay with a DDT. Sabin hits Zema with a clothesline and then a powerbomb.  Sabin hits both Sonjay and Zema with a death valley driver. Sabin backdrops Zema into Sonjay and then hits Zema with a version of a fishermans buster suplex for the win.

After the match, Robbie E and Jesse are talking about facing Rob Terry in a handicap match.  Jesse suggests they get Joey Ryan to team up with them and make it a 3 way. Jesse thinks it would be the perfect combination of sleazy and easy. Robbie doesn’t think that rhymes.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray is addressing the rest of Aces and Eights. Bully thinks Sting and Hogan were mocking them earlier tonight and he’s mad. Bully is also concerned about Kurt Angle and wants to know who is going to take care of him tonight. Vice President D Lo Brown insists he can take care of Angle.  I didn’t even know he could still wrestle.

Match #2:  Robbie E and Jesse and Joey Ryan versus Rob Terry.

Not much of a match. Rob Terry trades some punches with the three stooges and hits them with some power moves.  They tag in and out quickly and take the advantage for a short time, but eventually Terry dominates all three of them at the same time and wins the match with a Beast Bomb to Joey Ryan.

Commercial

When we return, Bobby Roode and Austin Aries enter the ring to address Bad Influences offer last week to reform Fortune. Bobby admits he was thinking about it, but he’s sticking with Austin Aries. They’re both former World Champions, something they claim Kaz and Daniels will never be, and they have a common goal: the tag titles.

Kaz and Daniels come out to confront Roode and Aries. Daniels claims they are going to beat Roode and Aries next week and become the #1 contenders for the tag titles. Daniels also claims no one is feeling any blood flow in their genital area for Roode or Aries. He’s probably wrong but I won’t get into that.

Current tag champs Chavo and Hernandez come out to talk a little trash (but not as well as the other 4 did) and announce that James Storm will be the guest referee for the tag match next week.

Sting approaches Kurt Angle in the back and wants a word with him. He tells the cameraman he wants a word with Angle and then closes the door.  It’s like Sting could SEE there was a camera following him around; wrestlers never act like they notice the ever present cameras.  Sting must be special.

Commercial

Match #3: D Lo versus Kurt Angle.

D Lo says he isn’t just going to beat Angle, he’s going to do something no one has ever done before; he’s going to make Angle say “I Quit.” The two men exchange strikes and Angle hits D Lo with a clothesline. Angle puts D Lo in a modified STF but Angle gets distracted by the presence of several Aces and Eights members at ringside.

D Lo hits Angle in the back and Angle responds with a suplex. D Lo goes to the floor and Angle goes after him. D Lo slams Angle into the steel post and attacks his arm with a hammer. D Lo focuses on the arm and repeatedly slams it into the post and the mat. D Lo rolls Angle in and steps on his arm.

D Lo hits Angle’s arm with a leg drop and then twists his arm. Angle fights his way out and lands several punches, but D Lo responds with a heel kick and puts Angle in a cross armbreaker. Angle works his way out of the hold and reverses it into an ankle lock. D Lo kicks Angle off and puts him in a modified cobra clutch.  Angle slips out of the hold and hits D Lo with 6 straight German Suplexes.

Angle goes for the ankle lock again but D Lo kicks him off. D Lo hits Angle with a Samoan Drop and then tries a powerbomb. Angle slips out of the powerbomb attempt and gets the ankle lock on again and grapevines the leg. D Lo taps, but that’s not good enough.

Angle keeps the pressure on and D Lo says “I quit.” D Lo could be in trouble: he insisted on the match, insisted he would win, insisted that it be I quit, he refused any help, and then he said “I quit.”

After the match, Angle has something else he wants to address. Angle calls out AJ Styles.

Commercial

When we return, Angle is still waiting for AJ, and AJ finally comes out. Angle tells AJ he doesn’t like the look in AJ’s eyes. Angle says he wants the two of them to team up with Sting next week against Aces and Eights.  AJ doesn’t answer, and Angle tells him he’s got to pick a side, and if he picks the wrong side, they’re going to have a problem.

Commercial

Match #4: Gail Kim and Tara versus Taryn Terrell and Mickie James.

All 4 knockouts start brawling as the match begins. Eventually Mickie and Taryn slam Gail’s and Tara’s heads together and the heels fall out to the floor. Taryn hits Tara and Gail with a double dropkick and rolls Gail into the ring.

Taryn clotheslines Gail and then takes her down with a snapmare. Taryn tags Mickie and Mickie applies an armbreaker to Gail, but Gail makes it to the ropes. Mickie and Gail exchange forearm shots and kicks. Gail clotheslines Mickie and tags in Tara. Tara and Gail double team Mickie and hit her with a lot of kicks.

Tara slams Mickie to the mat and stretches her out in a bridge until Taryn comes in and breaks it up. Tara tags in Gail and Gail lands a couple kicks. Mickie fights back with an elbow and a hurricanrana. Mickie and Gail knock each other down with stereo cross body attempts. Gail tags in Tara and Mickie tags in Taryn.

Taryn takes Tara down with a pair of clotheslines. Taryn goes to the top rope and hits Tara with a flying cross body.  Gail breaks up the pin attempt and Mickie comes in after Gail. Taryn rolls up Tara for the win during the confusion.

After the match, the knockouts start to brawl again. Mickie and Tara battle outside the ring and back to the locker room. Gail hits Taryn with Eat Defeet and then pounds her head into the mat repeatedly.  Gail then drags Taryn over to the ropes and applies a figure four leg lock in the steel ring post.  ODB eventually breaks it up.

Commercial

Match #5:  Matt Morgan versus Sting for the #1 contender spot at Slammiversary.

Morgan shoves Sting to the corner and lands several punches and headbutts. Morgan whips Sting hard into the corner and then clotheslines him. Morgan hits Sting with another headbutt and chokes him in the corner. Sting fights out and lands several punches, and Morgan choke slams Sting to the mat.

Commercial

Sting and Morgan are battling outside the ring, slamming each other into the steps and the security barriers.  Sting gets the advantage and rolls Morgan back in. Morgan hits Sting with a side slam and then sits on his back.  Morgan stomps on Sting and then hits him with a clothesline.

Sting lands a couple punches and Morgan responds with a bodyslam. Morgan misses an elbow drop and Sting hits Morgan with a series of punches and clotheslines. Sting hits Morgan with a Stinger Splash. Morgan turns Sting around in the corner and hits him with a headbutt and several back elbows. Sting hits Morgan with a clothesline and goes for another Stinger Splash, but Morgan hits him with the Carbon Footprint!

Morgan covers Sting but gets only 2! Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint again, but Sting ducks it and Morgan jams his leg on the turnbuckle. Sting puts Morgan in the Scorpion death lock, but Morgan gets to the ropes.

Sting gets the Scorpion back on and has it on for a long time, sitting all the way back onto Morgan’s ass.  Morgan appears to have passed out from pain. The ref checks on Morgan and confirms he is unconscious.  Sting is the #1 contender.

Bully Ray and the rest of Aces and Eights come to the ring. Bully Ray angrily waves his title belt around and shouts at Sting as Impact goes off the air.

Match #1:  Kurt Angle versus Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff. Wes goes in against Angle first and they lock up.  Angle gets behind Brisco and beats him down in the corner. Angle slams Brisco’s head into the corner and then whips him into the opposite corner.

Angle knocks Garrett Bischoff off the edge of the ring to the floor. Angle stomps on Brisco and then takes him down with a snap suplex. Brisco tags in Bischoff and Bischoff immediately gets hip tossed by Angle. Angle pummels Brisco for a while until Bischoff comes in to help; then Angle throws them both out of the ring.

Commercial

Angle is stomping on Garrett when Brisco gets in a nut shot while the ref was distracted. Bischoff pounds on Angle for the next minute or two and applies a chin lock. Angle escapes by suplexing Bischoff.

Bischoff tags Brisco and Angle clotheslines him twice. Brisco is still in the ring and Angle clotheslines him twice as well. Angle hits Brisco with a German Suplex and then hits Bischoff with three German suplexes. Angle tries to suplex Brisco, Brisco tries to block it by holding onto Bischoff and Angle suplexes them both at the same time.

Angle goes for an Angle slam to Brisco when Aces and Eights arrive at ringside. Angle applies the ankle lock to Brisco, but Bischoff hits Angle in the back of the neck with a steel chain while the ref was distracted. Bischoff pins Angle for the win. Angle gets another beat down from Aces and Eights after the match. Mr. Anderson tells us that anyone not wearing an Aces and Eights shirt is in big trouble tonight.

Commercial

Match #2: Petey Williams versus Zema Ion versus Kenny King for King’s X division title.

Lots of back and forth fast paced action to start the match off. King starts off looking strong until Petey Williams hits him with the Canadian Destroyer! Zema breaks up the pin attempt and King falls to the floor.

Williams and Zema argue and then exchange strikes. Williams hits Zema with a hurricanrana and a chop. Zema responds with a neckbreaker and stomps on Williams. Williams lands a few chops, but then Zema takes him down and applies a modified ½ crab. Williams hits Zema with a side Russian leg sweep and Zema responds with a jawbreaker.

Williams suicide dives out of the ring onto King and then re enters the ring. Williams and then hits Zema with a German suplex. Williams flies out of the ring again and this time hits King with a hurricanrana. Williams pulls Zema into the ring by his hair, but Zema snaps his neck on the ropes.

Zema hits Williams with a DDT and then climbs the top rope. Zema goes for a moonsault but Williams gets his knees up in time to block it. Williams gets the Sharp Shooter on Zema and has it locked in tight for a while. King re enters the ring and knocks Williams out of the ring with a running high knee. King covers Zema for the win!

Commercial

Match #3:  Magnus versus Devon for the TC title.

The match never happens. Magnus gets beaten down by members of Aces and Eights before the match.  Magnus fights them off for a while, but eventually gets hit in the gut with a chain and power bombed onto the ramp. Samoa Joe comes out to make the save and Aces and Eights retreat.

Commercial

When we return, Joe is screaming about the cowards in Aces and Eights.  Joe also says that he gets a match later tonight with Devon for the TV title.

Match #3:  Mickie James versus Miss Tessmacher with ODB as the Knockouts ref.

The two women lock up and jockey for position for the first couple minutes. Mickie lands the first kick and hits Tessmacher with a few short arm shoulder blocks. Mickie gets an armbar on Tessmacher, but Tessmacher gets to the ropes.

The two women exchange blows on the floor until ODB breaks it up and orders them back in the ring.  Tessmacher lands a couple kicks and a faceplant. Tessmacher clotheslines Mickie in the corner and then gives herself a wedgie. Tessmacher then grinds her ass for a long time into Mickie’s face.  Mickie slams Tessmacher’s face into the corner and then hits her with a flapjack.

Mickie goes to the top rope and hits Tessmacher with a flying Thesz Press for a near fall. Mickie mounts and pounds Tessmacher. Tessmacher gets to her feet and they both land a clothesline at the same time. The two women slam each the other’s face into the mat and exchange pin attempts and reversals. After a series of reversals Mickie covers Tessmacher for the win!

In the back, Joe Park is on the phone and is apparently still trying to get Brooke’s marriage to Bully Ray annulled. Devon takes his phone and tells him to stay out of family business. Bully Ray cheap shots Joe and tells him that he’s Brooke’s husband and he knows what’s best for her. Aces and Eights leave Joe Park in tears and laugh at him as he cries.

Commercial

Kaz and Daniels make their way to the ring and brag about how great things are going for them lately. They even claim a “Bad Influence” movie in the works and that Morgan Freeman will be playing Dixie Carter.

Morgan Freeman is a very good actor, but that may be a little too much for him to pull off. I bet Merry Streep could play Morgan Freeman playing Dixie Carter and pull it off. She’s pretty awesome. Kaz gives the fans permission to worship them.  Bad Influence is interrupted by Austin Aries and Bobby Roode.

Roode and Aries claim that they are the real #1 contenders for the tag title because Chavo and Hernandez beat them in a fluke. Daniels claims that Roode’s opinion only counts for ¾ of an opinion because he’s Canadian, and Aries replies that his opinion counts for 1 and ¼, so they have 2 opinions between them.

Then Aries implies Kaz and Daniels are gay lovers with several comments about them spending all their time oiling each other up and putting meat in their mouths. Chavo and Hernandez sneak up behind Roode and Aries; Kaz and Daniels see them and back out of the ring. Roode and Aries think Kaz and Daniels are retreating and never see the attack coming. Chavo and Hernandez knock Roode and Aries out of the ring.

Commercial

When we return, several TNA stars lament the presence of Aces and Eights. Matt Morgan watches and laughs.  He says this is all Hogan’s fault and could have been easily avoided if Hogan had just done the right thing.

Morgan claims Hogan’s mistakes keep piling up: 1) He should have made Matt Morgan #1 contender, 2) he trusted Bully Ray, 3) he pushed Sting away, and 4) he’s responsible for Jeff Hardy getting taken out on a stretcher.

Match #4:  Samoa Joe versus Devon for the TV title.

Devon lands a cheap shot before Joe is ready and takes the early advantage. Joe responds by slamming Devon into the corner and pummeling him. Joe takes Devon down with a snapmare and then lands a chop, a kick, and a knee drop. Joe gets the rear naked choke on but Devon rolls out of it and hits Joe with a spear.

Joe lands a couple punches and Devon responds with a robust eye rake. Devon hits Joe with a boot to the chest in the corner, a punch, and then applies a chin lock. Joe escapes from the chin lock with an elbow strike. Joe lands a couple punches, runs into Devon back first in the corner, and then hits him with an enzuigiri.

Joe sets Devon up for the muscle buster, but Mr. Anderson hits Joe from behind with brass knuckles from behind while the ref was watching the rest of Aces and Eights around the ring.  Devon rolls Joe up and gets the win. After the match Joe gets hit with the brass knuckles again.

Commercial

Match #5:  AJ Styles versus James Storm.

AJ starts to walk away before the match even starts and Storm goes after him. Storm attempts a suplex but AJ blocks it and lands a punch. Storm nearly powerbombs AJ onto the ramp but AJ slides out of it and lands another punch.

Storm lands a punch of his own and a dazed AJ slips under the bottom rope and into the ring; the ref rings the bell to start the match. AJ hits Storm with a couple shoulder blocks in the corner and Storm retaliates with a running high knee. Storm mounts and pounds AJ and then puts him in a headlock.  AJ whips Storm into the corner and leapfrogs him, then trips him when he comes back of the ropes.

Commercial

AJ hits Storm with a vertical suplex, a kick, and then applies a chin lock. Storm fights his way out and they exchange punches. Storm lands a flying forearm and follows up with a clothesline.  Storm backdrops AJ and then hits him with a spinning bulldog. Storm lands a chop and then props AJ up on the top rope. Storm tries for a superplex but AJ blocks it and trips Storm up.

Strom’s legs get caught up in the top rope as he fell, causing him to get suspended upside down in the corner.  AJ lands a dropkick to Storm’s midsection while he hangs in the corner. Bad Influence (Kaz and Daniels) make their way to the ring.

Storm hits AJ with a backstabber, and then follows up with a clothesline that sends them both to the floor. AJ slams Storm into the steps and the steel barrier. They re enter the ring and Storm hits Closing time. Storm goes for the super kick, but AJ catches it and twists Storm’s ankle.  AJ applies a new submission hold to Storm and Storm taps out. AJ Wins!

Kaz and Daniels enter the ring to congratulate AJ and raise his hands. AJ smiles a little at first, but then clotheslines Kaz and dropkicks Daniels out of the ring. Aces and Eights enter the ring en masse and beat down James Storm, and then they beat down Kaz and Daniels as well.

AJ just walks away without looking back. Bully Ray asks if we know who he is, and if we know who they are. Bully brags about destroying Jeff Hardy, and brags about the destruction they’ve caused tonight. Bully claims TNA has no heroes left, only victims. Bully tells us that when you ride with Aces and Eights, you never walk alone.

Devon is also there and he has a mysterious envelope that he says belongs to Brooke. D Lo Brown also has an envelope, but his contains a termination notce. Apparently D Lo is no longer a TNA executive.  D Lo wants a TNA official to tell him why he got fired. Kurt Angle comes out and tells D Lo that he’s going to let him know exactly how he feels about him.

Angle enters the ring and takes D Lo down with a double leg takedown and starts pounding him. Aces and Eights beat Angle down until several members of the TNA roster come down to help. Aces and Eight retreat. There will be a 10 man tag match later tonight featuring members of Aces and Eights and TNA.

In the back, Joey Ryan offers Brooke Hogan a lollipop and asks for a favor. Brooke reminds him that she is still technically married, and that she already turned him down. Joey says he wants to referee a Knockouts match.

Brooke is short 1 referee since former Knockouts ref Taryn Terell is now a wrestler. Joeys says he has a shirt and a zebra striped thong that he offers to show; sadly, she doesn’t let him. Brooke finally agrees but makes him promise not to touch them.

Commercial

Match #1:  Tara (with Jesse) and Gail Kim versus Velvet Sky and Taryn Terell.

New Knockouts referee Joey Ryan frisks each of the Knockouts before the match and then pats Velvet Sky on the ass. Joey has already broken the no-touch rule and the bell hasn’t even rung yet. Velvet and Tara start the match.

Tara hits Velvet with a chop and Velvet responds with a pair of clotheslines. Velvet puts Tara in a headlock and Joey starts to give her a backrub. Velvet tags in Taryn. Taryn rolls up Tara twice but Tara kicks out.  Taryn tags in Velvet and they double team Tara. Velvet goes for a cover but Joey just stares at Velvet’s ass.  Ryan fails to call the next pin attempt as well.

Gail seems to be the only one trying to take advantage of Joey Ryan’s sleaziness and starts to flirt with him.  Joey separates Tara and Velvet in the corner and gropes Tara a little bit. Jesse finally seems to be getting upset and takes off his shirt so he can confront Joey and show off his pecs at the same time. Tara goes for a standing moonsault and misses.

Tara tags in Gail and Velvet tags in Taryn. Taryn hits Gail with a pair of clotheslines and a suplex. Taryn climbs to the top and hits Gail with a flying crossbody. Taryn mounts Gail and repeatedly slams Gail’s head into the mat.

Tara hits Taryn with a cheap shot and Velvet knocks Tara out of the ring and into Jesse. Gail starts to flirt some more with Joey and Joey thinks he’s getting lucky. Velvet rolls Gail up for what could have been at least a 10 count but Joey doesn’t even notice, he was too busy taking off his shirt and oiling up his chest to notice.

When Joey does turn around, Gail has reversed the pin and Joey makes a very fast count and declares Gail the winner. After the match Joey looks a little sad to see Gail leaving. He doesn’t seem to know he was just used.  He also doesn’t seem to mind all that much. Joey starts flirting with Velvet and Taryn, the two women he just screwed out of a match because he was too busy trying to get laid.

Predictably, he gets a nut shot from Taryn.

Commercial

Tag champs Austin Aries and Bobby Roode meet Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez for a tag title contract signing.  Aries decides he wants to add some perks and stipulation, and Chavo agrees and adds a few of his own.  The winner will now receive a fruit basket, green M&Ms, and more money.

The match will also be 2 out of 3 falls, and if Chavo and Hernandez lose, they can never tag again.  Everyone signs, but Hernandez seems concerned.

Commercial

Gut Check is next. This week’s contestants are former NWA champ Adam Pearce and luchadore Magno. We are shown a video package highlighting each wrestler’s career to this point.

Match #2:  Adam Pearce versus Magno.

The two men exchange several near falls and reversals early. They start trading strikes and Magno takes Pearce down with a tilt a whirl back breaker. Magno lands a couple punches and tries for a springboard crossbody; Pearce catches him and drops him with a spinebuster.

Pearce lands a punch and Magno responds with hurricanrana, a couple clotheslines, and an Enzuigiri.  Magno clotheslines Pearce to the floor and then hits him with a moonsault. Magno goes out after Pearce and then rolls him in. Pearce rolls Magno up and uses the ropes to get a tainted pnfall victory.

Commercial

When we return, Joe Park is telling Kurt Angle he wants to be part of the fight tonight against Aces and Eights.  Angle tells Park to follow his lead, and if he sees a shot, to take it.

Hulk Hogan walks to the ring and tells us he is going to listen to his gut from now on, and his gut is telling him to call out AJ Styles. AJ comes out, still carrying the Aces and Eights vest the Mr. Anderson gave him earlier.

Hulk thinks AJ has changed and he wants to know what side he’s on. Hogan wants AJ’s help with Aces and Eights and offers his hand.  James Storm comes out and confronts AJ. Storm reminds AJ that they’ve both built this company up from the beginning, and Storm wants to know where AJ stands. Storm threatens to knock AJ out, and AJ just leaves.

Commercial

After the break, Hogan tells us AJ has one week to make up his mind or he’s done.

Match #3: X Division qualifying match: Sonjay Dutt versus Mason Andrews versus Petey Williams.

The action is fast paced with several rollups and near falls. Mason goes out to the floor and Sonjay hits Williams with a dropkick. Williams trips Sonjay into the ropes and hits him with a dropkick.  Williams hits Mason with a suicide dive on the floor.

Sonjay springs out to the floor but misses both men and hits the ground hard. Mason rolls Williams in and gets a near fall.  Mason stomps Williams and then hits him with a backbreaker. Mason and Williams exchange strikes and Mason gets the edge. Sonjay applies an abdominal stretch to Williams and Mason breaks it up, knocking Sonjay to the floor.

Sonjay springboards back in and knocks both men down with a double dropkick. Sonjay hits Petey with a pendulum kick and knocks him to the floor. Sonjay hits Mason with an inverted DDT and then misses with a moonstomp.  Mason hits Sonjay with a flying knee, and Petey hits Mason with the Canadian destroyer for the win!

In the back, Bully Ray is addressing his evil Aces and Eights gang. Bully is in a bad mood because Kurt Angle attacked them earlier and had enough back up to keep them from taking him out.

He wants Angle taken out tonight.  Bully also says he misses his wife; she took good care of him.  He says after he hands her the envelope he has for her, they can all move forward.

Commercial

Match #4: 10 man tag. Aces and Eights represented by Wes Brisco, Garrett Bischoff, Doc, Knox, and Devon versus TNA represented by Angle, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, Joseph Park, and Magnus.

Angle is in first, and he hip tosses Wes Brisco into the ring. Angle hits Brisco with a few punches and then stomps on him in the corner. Angle hits Brisco. Angle tags in Magnus and Magnus suplexes Bischoff.

Magnus tags in Joe and Joe hits Bischoff with an inverted atomic drop. Magnus hits Bischoff with a boot and Joe hits Bischoff with a splash. Bischoff rakes Joe’s eyes and tags in Devon. Devon gets pummeled by Joe; many punches, an elbow, an Enzuigiri, a kick, and a knee drop.

Devon tags in Knox and Joe hits Knox with a flying knee. Joe tags in Eric Young and Eric flies off the top rope to hit Knox’s arm. Young and Knox trade strikes and Eric whips Knox out to the floor and hits him with a springboard splash.

Commercial

When we return from the break, Eric is in control, but Knox soon hits him with several strikes and knocks him to the floor. Knox rolls Eric in and hits him with a leg drop before tagging in Doc. Doc lands a lot of body punches to Eric in the corner and then punches him in the head.

Doc takes Eric down with a clothesline and then hits him with a splash. Doc tags in Devon and Devon lands several punches. Devon has Eric in a neck pinch but Eric gets out of it with an elbow strike.  Devon does a spinarooni and tags in Doc.

Eric hits Doc with a chinbreaker and then an Enzuigiri before tagging in Joe Park. Park lands several punches and clotheslines Doc to the floor. Park hits Wes Brisco with a body slam and a big splash; Devon comes in to save. Everyone gets involved and the action breaks down. Samoa Joe does a sweet suicide dive and bodies fly all over the place until eventually only Devon and Joe Park are left in the ring.

Devon goes for a top rope headbutt and misses. Joe Park starts to climb the rope but stops when he sees Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco enter the ring. Park clotheslines Brisco and Bischoff at the same time but gets hit by Devon with a nut shot.  Devon rolls Park up for the win.

In the back, Hulk is talking to his daughter Brooke. Hulk is worried about Brooke going out to meet Bully Ray, but she just wants to get this over with. She thinks Bully has divorce papers and she just wants to sign them and be done with it. She promises to take extra security.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray goes to the ring with Brooke’s envelope in hand. Brooke comes out with her bodyguards and Bully happily says “hi Honey!”  Bully is shocked that Brooke isn’t wearing her wedding ring.

Bully is wearing his ring and thinks “Brookie” should do what she’s told from now on and wear her ring. Bully also wants to let Brooke know that he does not have divorce papers; he has a front row seat to the Corpus Christi show next week when he defends his title against Jeff Hardy in a full metal mayhem match.

Bully tells her to show up looking her best, because lately she’s been letting herself go a little. Brooke slaps Bully and he laughs at her. Bully calls her pathetic and laughs at her some more. Bully says he is so deep in Brooke’s head she can’t get him out, and he says he’s been in her since day one.

Jeff Hardy has heard enough and comes out to attack Bully Ray.  The two men brawl back and forth as Impact goes off the air.

The first person to the ring is Hulk Hogan. Hogan is upset about being fooled, but he wants to thank the 4 men that led the (unsuccessful) charge against Aces and Eights last week and calls out Magnus, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, and former champ Jeff Hardy.

Hogan wants them to take out Aces and Eights and win back the TNA title. Hardy suggests a four way match to determine the #1 contender and everyone agrees.

More explanation of the Aces and Eights storyline follows.

Commercial

Match #1:  Tag champs Austin Aries and Bobby Roode versus Chavo and Hernandez.

Chavo and Roode start things off. Roode gets behind Chavo and takes him to the mat with a headlock takedown. Chavo works his way out and Roode applies a hammerlock. Chavo and Roode go back and forth until Chavo is able to get some separation.

Roode lands a punch and Chavo responds with a European uppercut. Chavo hits Roode with a hurricanrana and follows up with a few punches. Chavo tags in Hernandez and Hernandez bodyslams Chavo onto Roode. Hernandez hits Roode with a big splash and Roode responds with a knee lift.

Roode tags in Aries and Aries hits Hernandez with an elbow, a kick and then tags in Roode. Roode and Aries try a double team suplex on Hernandez but Hernandez blocks it and then suplexes Aries and Roode at the same time. Hernandez tags in Chavo and Chavo dropkicks Roode and Aries to the floor.

Commercial

Roode rolls Chavo into the steps, but they end up fighting outside again almost immediately. Roode throws Chavo into the steel steps. Roode holds Chavo in place as Aries climbs to the top and flies off onto Chavo on the floor.

Aries tries for a cover but Chavo kicks out. Aries and Chavo exchange a couple strikes and then Aries tags in Roode. Roode suplexes Chavo and then puts him in a headlock.  Chavo escapes and hits Roode with a tornado DDT. Chavo tags in Hernandez and Roode tags in Aries.

Hernandez press slams Aries and then hits him with a shoulder block. Hernandez walks up the entrance ramp and then runs into the ring, diving over the top rope into Aries and Roode at the same time. Hernandez picks Aries up again but Roode runs in to save him.  Hernandez knocks Roode down with a shoulder block.

Aries hits Hernandez with an elbow. Aries gets ready to fly and dives at Hernandez, but Hernandez catches him. Aries slips free and takes Hernandez down with a hurricanrana.  Aries tries to hit the Brain Buster on Chavo, but Chavo slides out and hits Aries with the three Amigos.

Chavo climbs to the top rope while Kazarian and Daniels run to the ring. Kaz distracts the ref while Daniels knocks Chavo off the top rope. Aries pins Chavo for the win.

After the match, Kaz and Daniels attack Roode and Aries and then demand a title shot.  Kaz and Daniels also do a bullshit product placement for an energy drink, but I’m not going to say which one because I’m not getting any of TNA’s advertising money. I find product placement annoying unless it’s a commercial free episode of Raw, then I can sort of understand it.

Commercial

Match #2:  Zema Ion versus Sonjay Dutt versus Kenny King for King’s X division title.

Before the match, it was announced that the X division is evolving and title matches will now be three ways. The action starts off fast and is a little hard to follow.  After a few minutes of back and forth action, Sonjay hurricanranas King and Ion to the floor at the same time.

King and Ion pull Sonjay out onto the floor and into the guard rail. King climbs to the edge of the ring and flips off onto Zema Ion. King rolls Zema into the ring and gets a 2 count. King hits Ion with a running elbow and a boot to the face. King grounds and pounds Ion.

King knocks Sonjay back to the floor and then hits Zema with a spin kick. Sonjay springboards back into the ring and crashes into King. Sonjay goes back to the top and King pushes him to the floor. Ion hits King with a few punches and King responds with a wheel kick to the head.

Ion hits King with a shoulder block and then follows up with a DDT. Sonjay flips into the ring and hits Ion with a hurricanrana. Sonjay goes to the top and hits Zema and King with a moonsault. Sonjay hits Ion with a scoop slam and then climbs to the top again.

Ion tries to cut Sonjay off but Sonjay knocks him back down and hits him with a moonsault/double stomp to the chest.  King springboards back into the ring and hits Sonjay with a blockbuster for the win.

After the match, there is a lot more explain and reviewing of the Aces and Eights storyline.

Commercial

When we return, Sting enters Hogan’s office and says he wants to fight Bully Ray. Hogan wants nothing to do with Sting anymore. Hogan tells Sting to go and hide by himself in the rafters for a couple years, because he always causes trouble when he’s here.  Sting says he wants revenge. Hogan does to.

Taryn Tyrrell makes her way to the ring. Taryn has been on probation for fighting with a wrestler; Gail Kim. Taryn knows she is in trouble but said she had to retaliate when pushed and is ready to accept the consequences.

Gail Kim comes out to gloat and calls Brooke Hogan out to fire Taryn. Brooke does come out and does fire Taryn, but then she re-hires her as a wrestler, giving her permission to get physical with anyone. Gail is outraged, and Taryn spears Gail out of the ring.

After the confrontation, Brooke remains in the ring and Bully Ray sneaks up behind her.  Brooke is upset and Bully taunts her by pointing at his wedding ring and saying “till death do us part.”  Brooke says she hates him; Bully says he loves her, but I don’t think he means it.

Commercial

When we return, there is a whole lot more Aces and Eights/Bully Ray recap. They wouldn’t need to blow half the show explaining their storylines if their storylines made more sense.

In addition to wasting a lot of time that COULD have been spent on wrestling, the fact that the explanations are being allowed makes no sense: why would TNA management (Hogan and Dixie Carter) give all this air time to a faction that is trying to destroy them?

Match #3: Matt Morgan versus Joe Park.

The two men lock up and Morgan pushes Joe down to the mat. The match starts off lopsided in favor of Morgan. Morgan lands several strikes, a couple headbutts, and then ties Joe up in the ropes and pulls back on his arms.

Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint but misses and gets caught in the ropes. Joe bounces the ropes up into Morgan’s groin and goes on offense. Joe lands a few punches, a clothesline, and a shoulderblock that knocks Morgan down. Joe goes to the top rope but misses with the splash.  Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint for the win.

Commercial

When we return, Mike Tenay calls AJ Styles out for an interview. AJ comes out and says nothing. Tenay asks him about the rumors that AJ has gotten into alcohol and drugs.  (Maybe he got the drugs from Claire?)  AJ says nothing and Tazz interrupts the interview and takes over.

Tazz offers AJ a place in  Aces and Eights, but AJ says nothing. James Storm comes out and asks if this is the new AJ Styles, the one that sucker punches people and walks away.

The crowd starts chanting “hug it out” as AJ and Storm face off. Hugging is wildly popular with wrestling fans these days, maybe even more than violence. That is pretty funny, but also makes me a little sad at the same time. Storm looks AJ in the face and threatens to kick his teeth down his throat; AJ says nothing and walks away.

Commercial

When we return, we get still MORE explanation of the Aces and Eights/Bully Ray storyline.

Match #4:  Samoa Joe versus Magnus versus Kurt Angle versus Jeff Hardy for the #1 contender spot.

All four men start brawling right away. Joe beats Angle down while Magnus attacks Hardy. Joe hits Angle with an elbow and follows up with an Enzuigiri. Joe takes Angle down with a snapmare and then hits him with a kick followed by a knee drop.

Hardy and Magnus take their fight to the floor. Joe whips Angle to the floor near Magnus and Hardy and then takes all three of them out with a suicide dive to the floor.

Commercial

Magnus, Hardy, and Angle all exchange strikes. Joe and Hardy double team Angle. Joe hits Magnus with a punch and Magnus retaliates with a clothesline. Angle lands a kick and a punch to Magnus; Magnus responds with a knee strike to Joe.

Hardy dives into the ring but Magnus catches him and drives him into the mat. Magnus hits Hardy with an elbow and then puts Jeff in a headlock. Jeff fights his way out but Magnus knocks him down again.

Out on the floor, Kurt Angle rakes the eyes of Samoa Joe. The fans seem to be supporting Angle and Joe a lot more than Hardy or Magnus. Magnus hits Hardy with an elbow and then lands a kick each to Angle and Joe, knocking them both back to the floor. Joe re-enters the ring and hits Magnus with an elbow and a couple headbutts.

Magnus gets Joe up in the air and then drives him to the mat. Magnus goes after Hardy next and slams him into the corner. Hardy responds with a hurricanrana, an inverted atomic drop, and a double leg drop to Magnus. Hardy hits Magnus with a Twist Of Fate, and then hits Angle and Joe with the TOF as well.

Hardy climbs to the top to try a Swanton bomb, but Angle cuts him off. Hardy pushes Angle off and Magnus knocks down Hardy. Angle hits Magnus with a German suplex and follows up with another one for Samoa Joe. Angle applies the ankle lock to Joe and has it locked in for a while.

Joe eventually kicks Angle off and into Magnus. Hardy hits Joe with the Swanton Bomb for the win. Jeff Hardy is the #1 contender and will be the first man to face Bully Ray for the title.

Match #1: Tag title match, Chavo and Hernandez versus champions Austin Aries and Bobby Roode.

Chavo and Hernandez come out first, but before Aries and Roode are even introduced, Aces and Eights run into the ring and destroy Chavo and Hernandez.  Bully Ray introduces himself as the President of Aces and Eights and brags about using Sting, screwing Brooke, and making a fool of Hogan and all of us.

Bully Ray dares Hogan to fire all of them, claiming Hogan doesn’t have the balls. In the back, Sting is pacing angrily. Sting tells us he needs to get Bully Ray and he needs to talk to Hogan.

Commercial

When we return, Gail Kim offers her condolences to Brooke Hogan, and thanks Brooke for putting referee Taryn Tyrrell on probation. In the Knockouts title match at Lockdown, Taryn and Gail got into a brawl that resulted in Velvet Sky pinning Gail Kim.

Match #1:  Tara and Gail Kim versus Mickie James and Velvet Sky.

Velvet and Gail Kim start the match off. Velvet gets Gail in a headlock; Gail escapes and knocks Velvet to the mat with a shoulder block. Velvet trips Gail up and then takes her down with a Japanese armdrag. Velvet knocks Gail down and tags in Mickie; Velvet and Mickie double team Gail.  Mickie lands a punch, a kick and then an Enzuigiri.

Commercial

When we return, Mickie and Tara are fighting back and forth in the corner. Tara gets Mickie in a tarantula; a hold which has to be broken before a count of 5 because it is applied in the ropes.

Mickie falls out to the floor and Gail rolls her back in. Gail and Tara hit Mickie with a double slingshot vertical suplex. Gail puts the boot to Mickie’s face; Mickie escapes and hits Gail with a hurricanrana. Mickie clotheslines Gail and tags in Velvet. Gail makes it to her corner and tags in Tara.

Velvet hits Tara with a pair of clotheslines and a back elbow. Velvet takes Tara down with a side Russian leg sweep. Gail enters the ring and starts to argue with referee Taryn Tyrrell and then pushes her. Taryn slaps Gail.

Mickie goes to the top rope and hits Gail with a Thesz Press. Tara and Velvet are still the two legal wrestlers.  In the confusion, Velvet hits Tara with “In YO Face” for the win.

In the Aces and Eights clubhouse, the evildoers are celebrating their success. Bully Ray remarks that he hasn’t heard from his wife lately. Bully calls Brooke’s cell phone and leaves a message asking why she won’t return his calls, and then he tells her to say hi to dad. All the evil people laugh triumphantly.

Match #2:  Robbie E versus Rob Terry.

Robbie tells us that Rob Terry’s win at Lock Down was a fluke, and he won’t be so lucky tonight. Robbie lands a couple punches to start things off. Terry seems unimpressed and flattens Robbie with a shoulder block.

Terry throws Robbie E around the ring a couple times and then flattens him with a running elbow. Terry picks Robbie up and plants him with a jackhammer, then the freakbuster for the win. Terry does his silly dancing routine after.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray and the rest of Aces and Eights pick a random person to take out later tonight. It looks like we’ll have to wait to find out whom.

In the back, Sting approaches Hogan, who does NOT appear receptive. Hogan blames Sting for convincing him that Bully Ray can be trusted. Hogan tells Sting everything that happened is his fault orders him to leave and tells Sting “You make me sick.”

Commercial

When we return, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode mock Sting. They tell Sting that everything that has gone wrong is his fault. They even claimed that after they defended their tag title against Chavo and Hernandez (the opening match that never happened) that they were going to give Sting and Hogan a shot, but now they can’t.

Sting tells them to shut up and says he wants to fight. Aries tries to argue that Bobby Roode would be the perfect guy to fight Sting, but Bobby has already snuck away. Sting tells Aries they are fighting tonight.

Back in the ring, Kirsty Hemme introduces AJ Styles. AJ’s music comes out, but no AJ.  Instead, Kaz and Daniels come out in Road Warrior face paint. The Road Warriors are from Chicago.

Kaz and Daniels brag about being better than the Road Warriors, and instead of ending the promo with “What a rush!” like the Road Warriors did, he says “What a tush” and points at his ass. Daniels and Kaz then give us permission to worship them.  B

Before any serious worshipping can take place, James Storm comes out to interrupt them.  Storm wants to know which one of them wants to fight him.

Match #3:  James Storm versus Christopher Daniels.

Storm starts off strong and lands a couple punches and a backdrop. Kaz steps up on the edge of the apron and Storm slams Daniels into him. Shortly after, Kaz trips Storm up while the ref is distracted.

Daniels whips Storm hard into the corner and then hits him with several knee strikes.  Daniels takes Storm over with a snapmare. Storm and Daniels exchange several punches.  Storm hits Daniels with an inverted atomic drop and tries for eye of the Storm but Daniels slips out.

Daniels hits Storm with a urinagi and then misses with the BME. Storm hits Daniels with Closing time and then follows up with a backstabber for the win. After the match, Daniels and Kaz attack Storm and beat him down.

AJ Styles finally makes his way to the ring and chases Kaz and Daniels out, saving Storm.  When Storm staggers to his feet, AJ clotheslines him and then leaves the Impact Zone.

After the match, we get a recap of the Lockdown match between Kurt Angle and Wes Brisco, which Brisco won after interference from Aces and Eights. I don’t care how big of a screw job it was; Wes Brisco beating Kurt Angle in a steel cage is just horribly, horribly wrong.

In the back, Wes Brisco is seen taunting Kurt Angle. Angle attacks and is beaten down by the rest of Aces and Eights who were waiting in ambush.

Commercial

When we return, Joe Park is making his way to the ring wearing a suit. Joe Park is here to tell us that being a part of the Impact roster and appearing live before his home town of Chicago is one of the proudest moments of his life, right up there with graduating first in his class at law school and making partner at the firm of Park, Park and Park.

Park is interrupted by Matt Morgan. Morgan is laughing about the mistakes Hogan has been making lately, especially trusting Bully Ray, and also hiring Joe Park. Morgan says he’s going to start correcting some of Hogan’s mistakes and orders Joe to leave.

Joe starts to leave, but then decides he’d rather stay and fight. Morgan says they aren’t going to fight on Park’s time, but on Morgan’s time, and starts to leave. As soon as Park turns his back on Morgan, Morgan kicks him in the head with the Carbon Footprint and tells Park’s unconscious body “and my time is next week.”

Commercial

Match #4:  Austin Aries versus Sting.

The two men lock up and then push each other. Aries gets Sting in a headlock, takes him to the mat, and then spins on top of him before posing on top of the top turnbuckle. Aries gets Sting in a headlock, but Sting picks Aries up, places him in the corner, and kicks him repeatedly.

Sting goes for a Stinger splash but Aries gets out of the way. Roode gets in a sneaky trip and Sting is out on the floor. Sting and Roode fight outside the ring and Sting hits Roode with a Stinger splash against the guard rail. Aries goes to the top rope and tries to hit Sting with a double axe handle but hits Roode by mistake.

Commercial

When we return, Sting and Aries are trading strikes. Sting is getting the better of the exchange and clothesline Aries to the floor. Roode starts screaming and yelling and the ref sends him to the back.

Aries takes advantage of the distraction and kicks the ropes up into Sting’s groin as Sting was re entering the ring. Aries hits Sting with a suicide dive and then rolls him back into the ring. Aries hits Sting with an elbow, a snapmare, and then a missile dropkick to the back of the head.

Aries hits Sting with another kick to the back of the head. Sting gets to his feet and they exchange some more strikes until Aries hits Sting with a dropkick to the knee.  Aries claps his arms around Sting’s head and Sting does the same to Aries. That move never really looked painful to me. Aries tries for a Scorpion death lock but seems to have trouble figuring out what to do, and Sting is able to kick Aries off.

Sting lands a punch and then takes Aries down with a clothesline. Sting goes for the Scorpion death lock, but Aries slides out to the floor. Sting makes his way to the edge of the ring to pursue Aries, but Aries snaps Sting’s head down on the top rope.  Aries climbs to the top rope and hits Sting with a missile dropkick but Sting no-sells it and pops back up immediately.

Sting military press slams Aries and goes for a Stinger Splash but misses. Aries hits Sting with a running dropkick and then a Stinger Splash! Aries tries to get Sting up for the brain buster but Sting slips out and hits Aries with the Scorpion death drop!

Aries kicks out at 2 but then Sting hits him with a Stinger splash! Sting applies the Scorpion death lock and Aries looks in trouble. Before Aries can tap out, Aces and Eights come in and attack Sting and Aries. The match gets thrown out and Sting and Aries get beat up. Bully Ray asks where Hogan is and dares him to come out and fire them.

Commercial

When we return, Hulk Hogan comes out in crutches. Hogan tells us that firing them would be too easy, it would be the cowards way out. Instead, he’s empowered everyone in TNA to come out and go after Aces and Eights.

Several TNA stars come out, including Angle, Samoa Joe, and they all attack Aces and Eights. The brawl goes back and forth for a while, but eventually Aces and Eights beat everyone down, with Bully Ray finishing them off with his steel chain.

Bully Ray then walks towards Hogan and asks him if this is memorable enough for him.  Bully tells Hogan his cavalry is dead and asks what is he going to do now?

End.

The first person to the ring is Austin Aries.  Aries tells us that he hasn’t been able to get in touch with his partner Bobby Roode lately, but that’s OK because he beat Hernandez last week anyway. Tonight Aries wants to call out TNA Champion, Jeff Hardy.  Hardy comes to the ring and gets hit with a cheap shot from Aries before the match begins.

Match #1: Austin Aries versus Jeff Hardy.

Aries rolls Hardy into the ring and starts choking him with his shirt as the match begins. Aries hits Hardy with a punch and a kick and then takes him down with a snapmare. Aries hits Hardy with a knee drop and a kick.  Hardy fights back and the two men exchange a series of strikes. Hardy gets the edge and Aries goes down.  Hardy goes on the attack and Aries sends him flying out of the ring to the floor.

Commercial

Jeff hits Hardy with a couple punches and then a sunset flip. Aries rolls through the flip and hits Hardy with a dropkick.  Aries hits Hardy with an elbow and then picks him up for a vertical suplex attempt;  Hardy slips out of the suplex and rolls Aries up for a two count.

Aries and Hardy exchange strikes again and then Aries climbs to the second rope. Aries attempts a frog splash, but Hardy rolls him up for a two count. Hardy lands a kick and a jawbreaker to Aries and then whips him to the corner.  Hardy hits Aries with a Stinger splash in the corner and then clotheslines him. Hardy climbs to the top and hits Aries with a frog splash for a two count.

Hardy knocks Aries to the floor and then hits him with a flying clothesline from the ring apron. Hardy climbs to the top again but Aries cuts him off. Aries tries to suplex Hardy into the ring. Hardy slips out and hits Aries with the Twist of Fate. Before Hardy can go for a cover, Matt Morgan runs in and hits Hardy with the Carbon Footprint, ending the match. Morgan gets ready to kick Hardy’s head into the steel ring post when Bully Ray comes out wielding a steel chain and saves Hardy.

Commercial

When we return, Matt Morgan promises to gut the entire TNA roster until Hogan gives him what he wants.  Next we hear from Kurt Angle, who will be facing Wes Briscoe inside a steel cage this Sunday.  Angle tells us “My name is Kurt Angle, and I hurt people.” He promises to teach Wes Briscoe what pain is at Lockdown.

Wes Briscoe makes his way to the ring next and he tells us that his dad and uncle were two of the all time greats, and that they told him Kurt Angle was the greatest of all. Wes agreed until he met Angle and discovered he was ‘as worthless as that sport you got a medal in that they just kicked out of the Olympics.’

Angle comes out to confront Briscoe and tells him he doesn’t want to wait for Lockdown and wants to kick Briscoe’s ass now. Angle takes Briscoe down and pummels him. Several members of TNA management break it up, including D Lo Brown.

Completely unexpectedly, D Lo kicks Angle right in the nuts and reveals himself as the Aces and Eights vice president. D Lo asks Sting and the rest of team TNA is they can trust each other the way the brothers in Aces and Eights trust each other.

Commercial

Match #2: Sting versus Devon, in the first of a series of three matches to determine who gets the man advantage in the TNA versus Aces and Eights match at Lockdown.

Sting starts off with an elbow and a punch, Devon responds with a spear. Devon and Sting exchange strikes until Devon rakes Sting’s eyes. Devon hits Sting with a neckbreaker and a headbutt and then climbs to the top. Devon goes for a flying headbutt but Sting rolls out of the way.

Sting hits Devon with a punch and a pair of clotheslines. Sting hits Devon with a Stinger splash in the corner and Devon rolls to the floor. Sting goes out after Devon and gets hit in the face with a beverage by a fan!  Devon slams Sting into the steel post and busts him open. Devon rolls Sting into the ring and covers him for the win.

Commercial

When we return, Gail Kim angrily confronts TNA Knockouts champion Velvet Sky. Velvet responds by slapping Gail in the face and walking away.

Bruce Pritchard and Al Snow announce that Tazz will no longer be a Gut Check judge (because he turned traitor and joined Aces and Eights) and will be replaced by OVW trainer Danny Davis.  The new gut check team gets off to a great start by eliminating the WINNER of the match last week.  Lei’D Tapa will get a vote to see if she can get a TNA contract, and Ivelisse Velez gets eliminated.

Commercial

Match #3:  Velvet Sky, Chavo and Hernandez versus Gail Kim, Kazarian and Daniels.

Kaz and Hernandez start the match off and lock up. Hernandez pushes Kazarian away easily. Kazarian retaliates with a couple punches and then tags in Daniels. Daniels lands a couple kicks and Hernandez responds with a forearm.  Hernandez body slams Daniels and tags in Chavo.

Chavo dropkicks Daniels and tags Hernandez back in. Hernandez puts Daniels in a bearhug and then launches him through the air with an overhead throw. Hernandez goes for a suplex on Daniels but Kazarian saves his partner.  Hernandez takes down Daniels and Kazarian at the same time with a double clothesline. Hernandez props up Daniels so Chavo can dropkick him.

Chavo hits Daniels with a hurricanrana but is then tripped by Gail Kim. Daniels lands a few punches to Chavo but is then tripped by Velvet Sky. Chavo lands several punches before being hit with a cheap shot by Kaz.  Daniels tags Kaz in and Kaz hits a swinging neckbreaker.

Kaz tags in Daniels and stomps on Chavo in the heel corner. Gail and Kaz double team Chavo in the corner. Chavo tries to fight his way out but is knocked down again. Daniels hits Chavo with a slingshot elbow, and Kaz follows up with a slingshot leg drop. Chavo hits Daniels with a punch, a kick, and a dropkick.

Daniels responds with an elbow and a chin lock. Chavo fights his way out and tags in Velvet Sky. Velvet hits Gail with a pair of clotheslines and a hurricanrana. Velvet hits Gail with a spear and then all 6 competitors get involved. Eventually Daniels and Kaz get knocked out of the ring and Hernandez takes them both out with a huge suicide dive. Gail Kim takes advantage of the confusion and hits Velvet Sky with “Eat DeFeet” for the win.

Commercial

When we return we get an update on AJ Styles. Apparently he is still hairier than he used to be and still doesn’t want people from TNA following him around.

Match #4: Samoa Joe and Magnus versus Aces and Eights members Wes Briscoe and Doc.

This is the second of three matches to determine who gets the man advantage at Lockdown. Joe and Bischoff start things off, with Joe quickly twisting Bischoff’s arm. Bischoff reverses the hold, and then Joe re-reverses it.  Joe lands several punches and Bischoff rakes his eyes.

Joe clotheslines Bischoff and tags in his former partner Magnus. Bischoff retreats to the floor and Doc hits Magnus with a cheap shot. Doc tags in Bischoff and Bischoff lands a couple double axe handle blows. Bischoff tags in Doc and Doc hits Magnus with a splash in the corner and then a few elbow strikes.

Magnus and Doc clothesline each other at the same time and both go down. Joe hits a clothesline as he and Magnus double team Daniels. Joe hits Doc with a backsplash and Bischoff makes the save.  Bischoff hits Magnus with a kick and Magnus responds with a clothesline. Joe hits Doc with a kick to the head and Magnus lands a top rope elbow drop for the win. After the match the former partners high five.

Commercial

Sting is trying to figure out who he wants to send out for the final match tonight,  The score is tied 1 to 1, with Sting losing his match and Joe and Magnus winning theirs.  Eric Young wants to be in the last match to prove he’s not just a comedy act.  Sting seems appreciative but picks James Storm for the last match.

Next up is the Gut Check segment. Lei D Tapa comes out and is greeted with a loud NO chant from the crowd.  Danny Davis disagrees and votes yes. Bruce Pritchard agrees with the crowd and votes no. Lei D Tapa is given 30 seconds to convince Al Snow to break the tie and give her a contract.

After an uninspiring plea, Lei D Tapa is inexplicably given a contract. I agree she has potential, but the whole segment just seemed wrong.  She was on the losing end of her match and did not look great, her promo was unimpressive, and the crowd was literally begging them to reject her by screaming NO!

Commercial

When we return, Robbie E talks to us about his match with his former Bro, Robbie T.  Robbie E is mad that Robbie T tried to outshine him and wants teach him a lesson.

Match #5: Mr. Anderson versus James Storm.

Storm gets things started with a headlock, a shoulder block, and a hip toss. Anderson tries to break Storm’s momentum with an eye rake. Anderson takes Storm down with a clothesline, lands a couple strikes, and then whips Storm hard into the corner. The two men exchange a series of strikes for a long time until Storm is able to take Anderson down with a bulldog.

Anderson follows up with a neckbreaker and a big boot. Anderson tries a swinging neckbreaker, but Storm blocks it and hits Closing Time. Aces and Eights walk out to ringside and start watching the match. Team TNA comes out to confront Aces and Eights. Back in the ring, Anderson takes advantage of the confusion and hits Storm with the mic check for the win. Aces and Eights will have the man advantage against Team TNA at Lockdown.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray and his wife Brooke Hogan make their way to the ring for a face to face meeting with Jeff Hardy.  Hardy comes out next and a love-fest ensues. Bully Ray talks about all the history they have made together and how proud he is that Jeff was able to conquer his personal demons.

Hardy is also proud of Bully Ray.  They shouldn’t even have a match, they should just hug. In case you haven’t noticed, hugging is so ‘over’ with wrestling fans that sometimes in the WWE they actually chant “hug it out!”  I don’t understand the world anymore.

Bully Ray says that while he’s proud of the history he and Hardy have made, he can’t really be proud of himself until he beats Jeff Hardy for the TNA title. Hulk Hogan comes out in crutches and says may the best man win.  Just then, Aces and Eights come out to the ring and attack Hardy and Bully Ray. Team TNA comes out to help Hardy and Bully.  The two sides continue to fight it out as Impact goes off the air.

Bully Ray makes his way out to the ring and calls out TNA champion Jeff Hardy. Bully tells Jeff he isn’t sure he deserves to face Hardy for the title at Lockdown, and thinks he was given this shot because he’s now Hulk’s son in law. Bully has been hurt and was not part of the series of 4 matches to determine a number one contender. Hardy says he’s glad Hogan picked Bully Ray: over the years they’ve swung a lot of chairs, climbed a lot of ladders, and busted a lot of tables.

Hardy and Ray are interrupted by Kaz and Daniels. Kaz claims Bully got the title shot as a gift from “Thunderlips” (Hogan’s character from Rocky 3) just like Hulk also gave Bully his daughter Brooke, so someone else could rub suntan lotion on her and post pics of her on Twitter.

This of course refers to the weirdly creepy photos of Hulk and Brooke from a couple years ago. Take a second to shake that image out of your head; you don’t want to think about it anymore. Ever.

Kaz and Daniels claim to be the real men, and give the crowd permission to worship them, but they are interrupted by Bully Ray.  Ray grabs Daniels appletini, drinks it, spits it back into the glass, and then throws it in Daniels face and says “real men don’t drink appletinis” and a brawl ensues. Hardy and Ray chase Kaz and Daniels out of the ring, and Bully Ray challenges them to a tag match later tonight.

Commercial

When we return, Magnus is lobbying Sting to be part of his team at Lockdown when they face Aces and Eights.

Match #1: Tara with Jesse versus Velvet Sky for the Knockouts title.

Tara starts the match off with a kick and a shoulder block in the corner. Tara tosses Velvet across the ring by her hair. Velvet hits Tara with a kick and a pair of clotheslines. Velvet lands an elbow and takes Tara down with a hurricanrana. Velvet tackles Tara and goes for a pin but Jesse breaks it up.

Referee Taryn Tyrrell throws Jesse out of the ringside area. Velvet hits Tara with a kick and “In Yo Face” (sit out double underhook facebuster) for the win. Gail Kim, the number one contender, notes that the count was a little fast. Gail thinks referee Taryn Tyrrell favors Velvet Sky.

In the back, Austin Aries is on the phone with tag team partner and Frenemy Bobby Roode. Aries is more concerned about a photo shoot than any match when he is interrupted by Chavo Guerrero. Chavo overheard Aries claim to be able to beat anyone and wants to challenge him to a match, but not with Chavo, with Chavo’s partner, Hernandez.

Commercial

When we return, Kenny king confronts X Division champ RVD. King tells RVD he IS the X division, and RVD replies that King isn’t the champ, RVD is, and RVD has already beaten King for the title twice. King asks if he thinks he can beat him three times. RVD replies that he will give King another title shot tonight, if King agrees to leave the X Division forever if he loses. King agrees.

Match #2:  Austin Aries versus Hernandez.

The two men lock up and Hernandez shoves Aries to the corner. Aries poses on the corner and Hernandez knocks him off. Aries gets Hernandez’ back, but Hernandez gets Aries off and hip tosses him. Hernandez clotheslines Aries to the floor.  Aries hits Hernandez with a shoulder block from the edge of the ring and then sunset flips back in.

Hernandez picks Aries up by the head and then knocks him down. Aries hits Hernandez with an elbow and then climbs to the top. Aries leaps off the top rope but Hernandez catches him. Aries slips out and tosses Hernandez out to the floor. Aries hits Hernandez with a suicide dive and follows up with a double axe handle from the top rope.

Aries rolls Hernandez back into the ring and lands several punches and a snapmare. Aries goes to the top and tries for a frog splash but Hernandez rolls out of the way. Hernandez hits Aries with a slingshot shoulder block and then drops him with a military press slam. Aries hits Hernandez with a discuss forearm and Hernandez responds with a huge tackle knocking Aries to the floor.  Aries starts to walk away and takes his tag title belt with him.

Hernandez grab Aries and throws him back into the ring. Aries hands Hernandez the tag belt, which the ref takes from Hernandez and takes back to ringside.  Aries takes advantage of the distraction by hitting Hernandez with a steel chain and then rolling him up for the win.

Sting is in the back and is still looking for another person to join team TNA versus Aces and Eights at Lockdown. Joseph Park is eating a bunch of ribs and asks Sting to be part of the team. Sting doesn’t seem too interested, but he does seem interested in Matt Morgan. Morgan however, doesn’t want to help Sting because Sting is friends with Hogan, and that makes him guilty by association.

Commercial

Match #3: Kenny King versus Rob Van Dam.

The two men lock up and King quickly gets RVD in a headlock. RVD escapes and takes King to the mat with a headlock.  King gets out and RVD reapplies the headlock. RVD takes King over with a German Suplex into a bridge, getting a two count.  King invites RVD to pose for the crowd.

Amazingly, RVD does turn his back on King to pose for the crowd. Predictably, King dropkicks Rob in the back, knocking him to the floor. King tries a corkscrew dive but RVD gets out of the way. RVD hits King with a springing back kick and drapes him over the guard rail. RVD leaps off the edge of the ring to hit King with a leg drop.

Commercial

King suplexes RVD and then pounds him on the mat. RVD responds with a kick and a bodyscissors takedown and pin attempt. King blocks a Van Dam monkey flip attempt, but RVD knocks King down and then hits him with Rolling Thunder. RVD goes to the top rope and tries a 450 splash but King rolls out of the way.  King hits RVD with a kick and then Royal Flush for the win! Kenny King is the new X Division champ!

In the back, Kurt Angle asks Sting who is on the list for the match at Lockdown. Angle seems surprised at one of the names, but seems more interested in some project he has.

Commercial

When we return, the 5 members of Aces and Eights that will be competing at Lockdown enter the ring, led by Devon. Devon claims Aces and Eights will dominate TNA at Lockdown just like they did at Bound For Glory. Devon is interrupted by Sting, who has come to announce the members of his team:  Samoa Joe, James Storm, Magnus, and one other member, and Sting says it’s going to be “Showtime!”

Ken Anderson thinks this is just Sting repeating his catch phrase and gets annoyed, but Sting was actually referring to “Showtime” Eric Young, who enters the ring and attacks Aces and Eights from behind.  Team TNA chases Aces and Eights out of the ring.

After the match we meet one of tonight’s Gut Check contestants: Ivelise Valez. Ivelise trains in MMA as well and cancelled a fight to be here tonight.

Commercial

When we return, we see Kurt Angle following the retreating members of Aces and Eights.  We are also introduced to the next Gut Check contestant:  Lei’d Tapa.  She is the niece of the Barbarian.

Match #4: Lei’d Tapa versus Ivelise Valez.

It wasn’t apparent from her intro video, but Lei’d is a BIG woman. Tapa grabs Valez by the throat and picks her up. Valez slips out with an armdrag and lands a kick. Valez gets Tapa in a guillotine, Tapa gets out of it. Valez gets Tapa’s back and applies a rear naked choke. Tapa gets out again and lands a couple kicks.

Tapa knocks Valez down with a couple clotheslines and then a bodyslam. Valez tries to fight back with a couple punches, but the larger Tapa knocks her down with a headbutt. Tapa whips Valez hard into the corner, and then again to the opposite corner.  Valez lands a punch and follows up with a DDT.

Valez takes Tapa down with a hurricanrana but Tapa responds with a big Samoan Drop. Tapa goes for a cover and gets 2. Valez pulls Tapa onto her, wraps her legs around her waist and gets her in a guillotine again and this time Tapa taps. Ivelise Valez wins by submission. Not a bad match.

There have been 2 Knockouts matches tonight and neither of them featured the use of the vagina or buttocks or bosom as a weapon.  Maybe TNA is starting to take women’s wrestling seriously again.

In the back, Austin Aries is looking for Jeff Hardy and finds him.  Aries tells Hardy he’s actually rooting for him in his match against Bully Ray at Lockdown. Aries claims that Bully Ray is now Hulks’ Golden Boy, just like Hardy was when Hardy beat Aries for the title.  I think Aries is being a little disingenuous.

Commercial

When we return, AJ Styles wife and best friend are being interviewed about what AJ has been up to lately.  His wife seems worried, his friend thinks AJ just arrived. We see enter looking hairier than usual, and unhappy.  He is not happy people from TNA are here and he hops back on his motorcycle and leaves.

Robbie E comes to the ring to call out his friend, Robbie T. The two Robbie’s have not been getting along so well lately (although they do still wear matching sweaters, which is adorable)  Robbie E feels like he has been a bad bro, and that he crossed the line when he slapped bigger Rob.

So Robbie E wants to make it up to him by having another bro-off for old times sake and giving Robbie T the spotlight for once.  Robbie E does his bro dance, which is stupid and yet sort of funny and yields the ring to bigger Rob. Bigger Rob starts his bro dance when Robbie E sneaks up behind him and smashes a large framed picture over his head.  Robbie E celebrates knocking his now ex-bro down, but Robbie T gets up pretty fast and looks mad.  Robbie E runs away scared as Robbie T flexes impressively.

Austin Aries is looking for Bully Ray and finds him lifting weights. Aries tells Ray he’s rooting for him in his title match against Jeff Hardy, despite having told Hardy the opposite just minutes ago. Ray isn’t buying it and tells him to leave.  Aries asks Bully to say hi to Brooke for him.

Commercial

When we return, we see Kurt Angle enter the Aces and Eights Clubhouse.  Tazz sounds outraged.

Match #5: Kaz and Daniels versus Bully Ray and Jeff Hardy. Daniels and Bully Ray start the match off. Daniels lands a kick and a chop and then salutes the crowd.  Bully Ray hits Daniels with a clothesline and a headbutt to the chest. Ray hits Daniels with a chop so loud that my chest hurt, and then hits him with another one.

Kaz and Daniels double team Bully Ray, take him down with a suplex, and then celebrate with gangnam style dancing. That dance craze is so five minutes ago. Bully Ray knocks them both down and then does some gangnam style dancing of his own. This dance craze has aged dramatically during this match; it now feels older than the Macarena. Bully Ray lands punches and elbows to Kaz and Daniels.  Hardy comes in and clothesline Daniels and then Ray and Hardy double team Kaz.

Commercial

When we return, Hardy and Ray do “Poetry in Motion” to Kaz and then whip Daniels into Kaz. Hardy and Ray try Poetry in Motion again but this time Kaz and Daniels break it up.  Daniels tags in Kaz and then hip tosses him onto Hardy. Kaz and Daniels continue double teaming Hardy.  Kaz hits hardy with springboard leg drop.

Jeff fights out with an elbow and then hits Daniels with Whisper in the Wind. Hardy tags Bully Ray and Ray clotheslines Daniels.  Ray hits Kaz with a back drop and a hip toss. Ray hits Daniels with a Urinagi and then a side slam. Ray throws Kaz to the floor and tags in Hardy. Not sure why they’re even bothering with tags, this match has been pretty chaotic.

Hardy gets tripped by Kaz from the floor. Kaz snaps the neck of Bully Ray on the top rope and then Daniels hits Ray with an Enzuigiri. Kaz throws some strikes at Ray, but Ray knocks throws him off. Ray gets Daniels up on his shoulders and then drops him with an electric chair.  Hardy comes off the top rope and hits Daniels with the Swanton for the win!

After the match, we see Kurt Angle enter the Aces and Eights Clubhouse and pummel Ken Anderson. Angle goes after Devon next and he’s got a steel pipe in hand.  Angle drops Devon and gets the rest of the group to back off. Angle starts to fight with the Aces and Eights leader and beats him down and unmasks him.

From our camera angle, we can’t see who the leader is, but Angle recognizes him and is shocked. He asks “how could you?” as the rest of Aces and Eights jump Angle. Angle gets beaten senseless by Aces and Eights as Impact goes off the air.

Hogan tells us he has decided on…Bully Ray! Bully wasn’t even in a match last week for the number one contender spot, but Hulk has decided to give his son in law the title shot anyway. Bully ray makes his way to the ring to thank his “dad.” Bully also suggests a 6 man tag for later tonight featuring Bully ray, Sting, and Hogan against 3 members of Aces and Eights. Hogan agrees.

Bobby Roode and Austin Aries are talking back stage when they are interrupted by Daniels and Kaz.  Daniels congratulates Roode and Aries for beating Chavo and Hernandez for the tag titles, and then tells them to just follow their lead when they face Chavo, Hernandez, Joseph Park, and James Storm in an 8 man tag later tonight.

After they leave, Aries and Roode laugh at the thought of them following anyone else’s lead, and then they argue over which of the two of them should lead.

Commercial

Match #1:  Aries, Roode, Daniels and Kaz versus Joseph Park, Chavo and Hernandez, and James Storm.

James Storm and Daniels start the match off. Storm gets the early advantage against Daniels, but the action quickly breaks down and all eight men end up in the ring. When the chaos subsides, the babyfaces stand triumphant in the ring while the heels go to the floor to regroup.

Commercial

When we return, Chavo and Kaz are the two legal men in the ring and Chavo takes Kaz down with a hurricanrana.  Chavo tags Joseph Park and Joseph hits Kaz with a punch and a chop. Kaz tries to fight back and hits Joseph with a cross body but just bounces of the larger man. Daniels hits Joseph with a cheap shot to the back of the knee and the heels quadruple team Park in the corner.

At one point Aries and Roode try to suplex Park but can’t get the big man up. They keep Park isolated in their corner however and continue the quadruple teaming. Daniels hits park with a slingshot elbow drop and Kaz follows up with a slingshot leg drop. Kaz tags reaches past the outstretched arms of Bobby Roode and Austin Aries to tag his regular partner, Kaz.

Roode and Aries look irritated, I suspect these teams are not on the same page. Daniels lands a punch on Park and Aries tags himself in, then Roode tags himself in, then Kaz tags himself in. Kaz and Daniels get clotheslined by Joseph Park and try to tag in either Aries or Roode, but Roode and Aries refuse to be tagged in and drop to the floor and then walk away.

Park tags in Storm and Storm hits Daniels with a clothesline, an atomic drop, a neckbreaker and then closing time. Storm tags in Hernandez. Hernandez knocks down Daniels and tags in Chavo. Chavo hits Daniels with the frog splash but Kaz makes the save. Storm hits Kaz with the superkick, setting Park up for a second rope splash onto Kaz.  Storm covers Kaz for the win.

Commercial

Match #2:  Robbie E (with bigger Rob) versus Rock Star Spud.

Robbie starts off strong with a few strikes, but Spud responds with a baseball slide underneath Robbie followed by a drop kick.  The two men exchange several strikes. Spud hits Robbie with a tilt a whirl DDT.  Spud goes to the top and Robbie gets distracted by bigger Rob, giving Spud the chance to roll Robbie up for the win.

After the match, Robbie and Bigger Rob argue. Eventually, Robbie E slaps Bigger Robbie T across the face.  Robbie T gets mad, takes off his shirt and flexes. He is pretty huge, little Robbie runs away as the London crowd cheers Robbie T.

Commercial

Match #3:  Velvet Sky versus Miss Tessmacher versus Gail Kim versus Knockouts champ Tara for the Knockouts title.

This is a four way elimination match, and all four knockouts start going at it immediately.  Velvet hits Tara with several shoulder blocks. Tessmacher and Velvet exchange roll up attempts.  Tara drops Tessmacher with an electric chair. Tara and Gail double team Velvet. Tara side slams Velvet and then argues with Tara, and then they start fighting.

Tara backdrops Gail and Tessmacher pulls Gail to the floor and bulldogs her. Back in the ring, Velvet and Tessmacher double team Tara. Tara trips Tessmacher, bodyslams her, and then hits her with a top rope moonsault.  Velvet hits Tara with a sit out double underhook facebuster, and then Gail pushes Velvet out of the way and pins Tara, eliminating her.

Tessmacher hits Gail with a pair of clotheslines and then climbs to the top. Tessmacher climbs to the top rope but Gail cuts her off. Velvet throws Gail and Tessmacher off the top rope onto the mat. Tessmacher tries to roll up Velvet, but Velvet keeps rolling and pins Tessmacher.

Velvet and Gail are the last two left and exchange strikes. Velvet hits Gail with a hurricanrana and Gail retaliates with a dropkick. Gail goes for a cover and uses the ropes for leverage but referee Taryn Tyrrell breaks it up.

Gail lands a kick and shoulder blocks Velvet into the ropes. Gail won’t back off and eventually the ref pulls her out of the corner. Gail falls backwards and Velvet hits her with “In Yo Face” (sitout double underhook facebuster) for the win. Velvet Sky is the new Knockouts champ.

Commercial

Match #4: Garret Bischoff versus Samoa Joe.

Garret starts the match off by running away, a lot. Eventually they do start to exchange and Joe gets the better of it until Bischoff rakes the eyes. Joe throws a lot of punches and Bischoff responds with a lot of kicks.  Joe lands a couple headbutts to Garrett and Garret rakes the eyes again. Bischoff puts Joe in a chin lock but Joe fights his way out.

Joe hits Garret with a pair of clotheslines, a big boot, and a back splash. Joe grinds his boot into Garret’s face in the corner and then hits him with a running boot to the face. Joe’s face-wash is a thing of beauty. Joe makes the sign of the cross and hits Bischoff with a chop.

Wes Briscoe comes out to help Garret, causing Joe to win by DQ. Garret and Wes double team Joe until Kurt Angle comes to the rescue. After the match, Angle challenges Briscoe to a cage match at Lockdown.

Commercial

Match #5:  Kenny King versus RVD for the X division title.

King dropkicks RVD to the floor and then pursues him. King slams RVD into the steps and onto the floor. They re enter the ring and King misses a spin kick. RVD hits King with a couple shoulder blocks in the corner, a couple forearm shots, and a back elbow. RVD climbs to the top rope and King pulls him back down to the mat.

King hits RVD with a spin kick and slams him to the mat. RVD hits King with several strikes and a pair of clotheslines followed by a big monkey flip. King hits RVD with a knee strike and then takes him down with “Royal Flush” but doesn’t hit it cleanly and RVD kicks out. RVD hits King with a springboard kick, rolling thunder, and then the frog splash for the win.  RVD retains X division title.

Commercial

Match #6:  Devon, DOC, and Mr. Anderson versus Bully Ray, Sting, and Hogan.

Hogan never makes it to the ring and the match starts without him. All five men start fighting with Bully and Sting getting beat down as a result of the 2-3 advantage for Aces and Eights. Eventually Sting and Bully Ray land a couple of clotheslines and take their opponents down.

Commercial

When we return, Anderson and DOC beat down Bully Ray. Anderson tags in Devon and Devon beats down his brother Ray and talks a little trash while doing it. After some quick tags and more double team action, Bully ray manages a suplex against Devon and tries to tag Sting but is held back by Devon.

Devon tags in Anderson, and after a couple strikes to Bully, Anderson spits at Sting in the corner. Bully Ray tries to chop his way out of the Aces and Eights corner but gets beat down again. Eventually Bully Ray spears Devon and tags in Sting.

Sting comes in and cleans house, beating everyone down with elbows and chops. DOC tries to slow Sting but clotheslines Devon instead by mistake. Sting hits DOC with a Scorpion Death Drop and then bodyslams Anderson.  Aces and Eights send some more people to the ring and they drag the Hogans (Brooke and Hulk) with them.

Hogan has been beaten up and his shirt is ripped. Of course, if Hogan’s shirt is ripped he may have been flexing, but I doubt it; he usually looks happier when he’s flexing. He looks barely conscious.  Bully Ray runs out to check on Hulk and Brooke, leaving Sting alone in the ring. Sting gets double teamed by Anderson and DOC and gets pinned by Anderson.

After the match, Sting gets triple teamed and beaten down.  Tazz exclaims that it’s “a good day to be a bad guy” as Impact goes off the air.

The matches will be 1) James Storm versus RVD, 2) Christopher Daniels versus Magnus, 3) Samoa Joe versus Kurt Angle, and Bobby Roode versus Austin Aries. There will also be a 4 on 4 elimination match between 4 members of Aces and Eights, and four members of TNA led by Sting.

Commercial

Match #1: Christopher Daniels with Kazarian versus Magnus.

The English crowd gives Magnus a decent pop. The two men lock up and trade arm locks and reversals.  Daniels puts Magnus in a headlock; Magnus escapes and shoulder blocks Daniels.  Daniels pushes Magnus to the corner and hits him with a shoulder block.

Magnus lands a couple punches and a suplex and then slams Daniels into the corner face first. Magnus hits Daniels with an elbow, but then gets distracted by a cheap shot from Kazarian. Daniels hits Magnus with an STO, a clothesline, and then a chinlock. Magnus fights out but is then tripped by Kaz.

Daniels lands several punches and Magnus responds with a couple punches. Daniels takes Magnus down with a urinagi. Daniels misses a BME and Magnus responds with a big boot. Kaz interferes again and this time the ref takes away his managers license and banishes him from ringside.

Magnus lands a couple clotheslines and Daniels responds with a punch. Magnus hits another clothesline and then bodyslams Daniels. Magnus climbs to the top rope and hits Daniels with a flying elbow drop for the win.

In the back, Brooke Hogan and Bully Ray waste a little time with a painfully boring segment.

Commercial

Match #2: Samoa Joe versus Kurt Angle.

Before the match we hear some comments from Kurt Angle about the recent decision to scrap amateur wrestling from the Olympics. Worst decision EVER, wrestling is one of the original Olympic sports and one of the foundational styles in MMA, the fastest growing sport in the world.  But at least we still have synchronized swimming; a sport that virtually NO ONE IN THE WORLD thinks is a sport.

The two men start off exchanging strikes until Joe takes Angle down with a snapmare and follows up with a splash. Joe lands a chop and a headbutt; Kurt responds with a belly to belly suplex.  Angle stomps Joe into the mat near the corner. Angle takes Joe down with a suplex and then applies a chin lock.  Joe fights out and Angle hits him with an elbow.

Commercial

When we return, Joe lands a couple strikes and then throws Angle out of the ring. Joe flies out of the ring and hits Angle with a suicide dive/forearm shot. Back in the ring, Joe hits Angle with a reverse atomic drop, a kick, and a backsplash.

Kurt responds with three German Suplexes. Angle goes for an Angle Slam but Joe blocks it and takes Angle down with an STO. Joe puts Angle on the top rope but Angle kicks him away and hits a missile dropkick.  Angle goes for the Angle slam and hits it, but Joe gets right back to his feet and puts the rear naked choke on Angle.

Angle escapes and gets Joe in the ankle lock. Joe eventually rolls through and they both hit each other with a clothesline at the same time. Before Angle and Joe get back to their feet, they are attacked by Aces and Eights members Garrett Bischoff and Wes Briscoe. Angle and Joe get to their feet and chase Briscoe and Bischoff out of the ring.

Commercial

Match #3: Party Marty and the Blossom twins (From British Boot Camp) versus Gail Kim, Tara and Jesse.

Tazz makes a comment about Tara and Jesse being a unit, and also liking each other’s units.  Tazz must be feeling romantic because it’s Valentine’s Day. Jesse and Party Marty start the match off with some strikes. Marty hits Jesse with a springboard moonsault.

Commercial

Jesse tags in Tara and Marty tags in Blossom twin #1. Both Blossom twins double team Tara and Tara tags in Gail. Gail gets hit with a forearm and a back elbow. Tara hits Blossom with a cheap shot and Gail takes advantage with a clothesline.

Gail slams Blossom into Tara’s boot, and then Tara slams Blossom into Gail’s boot. Gail hits Blossom with a few kicks, a backbreaker, and a diving shoulder block. Gail tags Tara and Tara hits Blossom with a bodyslam and a standing moonsault.

Blossom gets her knees up in time to block the moonsault and tags the other Blossom twin. Blossom hits Tara with a forearm shot and a clothesline. The Blossoms hit Tara with a double flapjack, and then Blossom 1 does a big splash from Blossom 2′s shoulders.

All the competitors run in and chaos reigns. Jesse ends up getting knocked out of the ring and Party Marty tries to hit him with a suicide dive, but mostly misses and hits the security barrier hard.  Back in the ring, Gail Kim gets the win with Eat Defeet.

After the match, Gail Kim insists that she is the best Knockouts competitor and wants a shot at Tara’s title.  Tara seems upset about that but they are soon interrupted by Brooke Hogan. Brooke does give Gail her title match, but makes it part of a 4 way elimination match including Miss Tessmacher and Velvet Sky.

In the back, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode talk about their match later tonight. They are former rivals that now hold the tag titles together, but they often seem to still be in competition with each other.  They claim to be on the same page now and between the two of them they want to win ALL the TNA titles, including the women’s title.

They believe Hogan is trying to stir things up between them by making them wrestle each other, so they decide to cooperate. They agree that one of them should do the right thing for business but never determine which of them will do lay down for the other.  I foresee a problem with this plan.

Commercial

Match #4: RVD versus James Storm.

The two men lock up and Storm puts RVD in a headlock; RVD hip tosses Storm. They exchange kicks and RVD hits Storm with a monkey flip.  RVD lands a couple more kicks followed by Rolling Thunder. RVD lands a couple more kicks, a backbreaker, and then a split legged moonsault for a two count.

The two men exchange strikes and Storm hits a DDT.  They trade some more punches and Storm takes RVD down with an Alabama Slamma (also known as a Tennessee slam) RVD misses a leg drop and Storm hits a Codebreaker. Storm goes for a Superkick, but RVD catches it and hits Storm with a kick of his own.

RVD climbs to the top but Storm cuts him off. RVD lands a kick that knocks Storm down in the corner. RVD climbs to the top of the opposite corner and flies end to end, but Storm rolls out of the way and RVD misses. Storm hits the Last Call superkick for the win!

Tazz observes that if RVD hit the Van Terminator at the end, then Storm would not have hit the Superkick.  Tazz also notes that if his aunt had nuts she’d be an uncle.

In the back, Joe Park is trying to get a title shot, and heard from the boys that you have to do ‘politics’ to get a shot. So Joe is arranging to have some campaign materials drawn up and asks Hogan for his vote. Hogan asks Joe if he knows what a ‘rib’ is; and not the kind that you eat. Joe doesn’t know.  Hogan thinks he should find out.

Commercial

When we return, Brooke Hogan is trying to get her father to give Bully Ray a title shot.

Match #5:  Austin Aries versus Bobby Roode.

Before the match, both men agree to do what is right for business. They ask for the bell to be rung and then…they give each other the one finger poke of doom and wait for the other to lie down. Neither man lays down and they are both pissed off about it.

Finally Aries grabs a mic and says “I’ll be the bigger man..” and Roode cuts him off yelling “I’m the bigger man!!” Austin starts again and says “I’ll be the bigger man” and then lies down so Roode can pin him. Aries tries a sneaky rollup when Roode gets down on the mat but Roode kicks out.

Commercial

The two men lock up and jockey for position, pushing each other back and forth. Aries hits a slingshot sunset flip, Roode rolls Aries up and goes for a cover with his feet on the ropes. Aries is mad that Roode tried to cheat, but Aries does the same thing on his next pin attempt.

The two men exchange punches and Aries gets the edge with a roaring elbow. Roode gets back to his feet and takes Aries down with a spinebuster. Aries goes to the top rope but Roode cuts him off and tries a superplex but struggles getting Aries over. Aries boxes Roode’s ears and then goes for a 450 splash but Roode rolls out of the way.

Roode goes for a spear but Aries dodges it and gets Roode in the Last Chancery. Roode almost taps but escapes by raking the eyes. Roode gets Aries in the Crossface, but Aries rolls Roode over into a pinning predicament and Roode has to release the hold. Aries lands a kick and then tries for a suplex; Roode reverses and tries for a suplex but Aries counters.

The ref gets knocked down and out as they battle back and forth. Roode goes to the floor and grabs a steel chair, but instead of hitting Aries, he hits the ring and drops, like Eddie Guerrero used to do.  Roode did it too quickly though, so Aries grabs the chair, hits the ground with it, and also drops.  The ref turns around to see both men pretending to be unconscious.

As the ref checks on one wrestler, the other makes angry faces and obscene gestures at his opponent/partner behind the refs back. When Roode and Aries finally get back to their feet, they are distracted by the approach of former tag champs; Chavo and Hernandez. Aries and Roode leave the ring together to confront their tag team rivals and realize too late that they are being counted out.

They both run back to the ring trying to cut the other off, but neither man makes it in time and both get counted out. This may not have been the best technical wrestling match these two have ever had, but it was pretty good and an awful lot of fun to watch. Roode and Aries have amazing chemistry together, I would like to see them stay together and win ALL of the titles between the two of them, including the Knockout title.

Commercial

When we return, Hogan makes his way to the ring to give us his decision on who the number one contender should be. Before Hogan can tell us, the ring is surrounded by Aces and Eights.

Bully Ray comes out to defend his father in law with a chain in hand, and he is followed by Sting. Sting is walking to the ring with bats for himself, Hulk, and Bully Ray, but they aren’t baseball bats. Since this is England, Sting has brought cricket bats to the ring. Aces and Eights retreats into the crowd as Impact goes off the air.

Kaz and Daniels are wearing kilts and sporting blue face paint in homage to the United Kingdom’s TRUE warriors, the Scots. Daniels claims that the only reason he lost to Jeff Hardy last week is because Hardy’s face paint is toxic and he went into shock.

Daniels give the fans permission to worship him, but they are interrupted by Magnus before they get a chance. Magnus say the real reason he lost last week is because Jeff Hardy beat Daniels like he owed him money. Magnus appears to be looking for a fight with Kaz and Daniels, and they attack him and beat him down.

Magnus turns things around and backdrops Daniels to the floor and then clotheslines Kaz to the floor as his English fans cheer him on. Magnus then says he wants to challenge Devon as part of Open Fight night tonight.

Commercial

Match #1:  Magnus versus Devon.

Magnus starts the match off with a series of forearms and clotheslines before throwing Devon over the top out to the floor. Magnus beats Devon some more outside the ring before rolling him back in. As Magnus enters the ring, Devon pulls the rope up into his groin.

Devon pounds on Magnus and takes him down with a clothesline. Magnus responds with a punch but Devon rakes the eyes of Magnus. Devon hits Magnus with a legdrop, but Magnus quickly gets back to his feet and lands a punch.  Devon responds with a flying shoulder block and a snapmare.

Magnus lands a couple more punches but Devon responds with another clothesline and a bodyslam. Magnus fights back with a clothesline and Michinoku driver.  Aces and Eights run in to save Devon, but Magnus promptly throws them out of the ring. Magnus wins by DQ.

Commercial

When we return, Joseph Park is in the ring and he’s decided who his first opponent as a member of the TNA roster for Open Fight Night is going to be.

Before Joseph can tell us, he’s interrupted by Robbie E and Robbie T. Robbie E says Joseph isn’t even a wrestler, he’s a hamster, just like everyone else in England.  Robbie T, who is from England, looks mad.

Robbie E appears to have just remembered that Robbie T is from England and tries to recover by reminding bigger Rob that he lives in the US now so he’s practically American.

Robbie E grabs Joseph Park’s notebook (filled with copious notes on his potential opponents) and wipes his ass with it, sniffs it, and throws it at Joseph. No comment from Robbie what the notebook smelled like when he sniffed it.  I’m guessing it smelled like shit.

Joseph had been trying to tell them that he picked someone else, but he looks mad now and agrees to fight Robbie.

Match #2:  Robbie E versus Joseph Park.

Robbie starts things off with a kick and a running cross body. Robbie just bounces off the much larger Park. Robbie E starts using his speed advantage and takes over the match, landing several strikes and a clothesline.

Robbie also comes off the second rope a couple times, hitting Park with a clothesline and then a punch. Joseph knocks Robbie down several times and then hits him with a belly to belly suplex and follows up with a second rope splash for the win.

Commercial

When we return, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode are standing in the ring bragging about being the two best stars in Impact wrestling. They claim to be on the same page now, and plan on taking ALL the titles in TNA, including the Knockouts title.

I’m not sure which one of them gets to be women’s champ. They tell us that they’re going to start with the easiest titles to win, the tag titles.

Aries and Roode are calling the English fans “wankers” when current tag champs Chavo and Hernandez come out to confront them. Chavo asks is Roode and Aries are even a tag team and then challenges either of them to a singles match.  Aries agrees, provided they get a title shot if Aries wins.

Match #3:  Austin Aries versus Chavo Guerrero.

Chavo starts off fast and  lands a series of punches. Aries responds by snapping Chavos neck on the rope and then stepping out to the edge of the apron. Aries slingshots himself in onto Chavo, but Chavo gets his knees up in time to block the senton. Chavo steps outside the ropes, hits Aries with a slingshot senton, and then stomps on him.

Commercial

During the break, Aries hits Chavo with a suicide dive.  When we get back to the live action, Aries retreats to the floor.  Chavo slingshots himself out to the floor onto Aries. The two men re enter the ring and Aries lands a series of strikes and an elbow drop.

Aries puts Chavo in a headlock, but Chavo fights his way out. Aries takes Chavo down with a backdrop and then climbs to the top. Aries goes for a frog splash but Chavo gets out of the way. Chavo and Aries exchange strikes and Chavo knocks Aries down with a drop kick.

Chavo lands several punches and then hits Aries with “Three Amigos” (3 consecutive vertical suplexes) and climbs to the top. Chavo hits the frog splash and goes for the pin, but Roode distracts the ref. Aries hits Chavo with a dropkick and a brainbuster for the win.  After the match, Aries and Roode argue over who deserves credit for the win.

Commercial

When we return, Angle, Samoa Joe, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Briscoe are talking in the locker room. Angle is getting ready for his big match with Mr. Anderson in a steel cage later tonight.

Bischoff and Briscoe offer to watch Angle’s back, when Joe starts yelling at them.  Joe doesn’t think they need Bischoff and Briscoe and he seems to resent them being around. Joe walks off angrily. Angle tells Wes and Garrett that that was just Joe being Joe.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray and his new wife, Brooke Hogan walk to the ring. Bully says that falling in love with Brooke got him suspended by Hulk, but now they have a common enemy: Aces and Eights.

Bully says the only man that can convince Hulk to life the suspension is Sting, and he calls Sting out. Sting comes out and says he can’t make Hogan come out, but the fans can.

The fans chant Hogan and he comes out. Hogan says he’s come to see Bully Ray as family, especially after the way he fought for his daughter last week. Hogan lifts the suspension and also offers his new son in law a present: a tag team tables match with Sting against Devon and Doc from Aces and Eights next week.

Bully looks happy, and shakes Hogan’s hand.

Commercial

When we return, Daisy Carter announces that TNA will be taking Impact on the road, starting with Chicago.

Velvet Sky walks to the ring and says she has something to get off her chest.  Apparently she means that figuratively; at first I thought she was getting rid of her implants.

Velvet wants to call out Tara and Jesse for Open Fight Night.  They come out thinking this will be a handicap match, but Velvet informs them she has found a partner: James Storm.

Match #4: Velvet Sky and James Storm versus Tara and Jesse.

Jesse and Storm start the match off. Jesse pushes Storm to the corner, but then Storm takes over and lands several punches, a shoulder block, a hip toss and snake eyes in the corner.

Tara distracts Storm long enough for Jesse to land a few strikes and follow up with a key lock. Jesse lands a knee lift and an elbow drop, but Storm responds with Closing Time and tags in Velvet.

Velvet hits Tara with a pair of clotheslines, a hurricanrana, and a side Russian leg sweep. Jesse runs in but Storm hits him with closing time. Tara confronts Storm, but Velvet hits her with a double underhook face plant for the win.

Commercial

When we return, Hogan is talking about the tag match next week featuring his son in law. He made the match a table match as a present to Bully Ray. Elsewhere in the back, Ken Anderson is talking about his cage match tonight with Angle and promises Angle isn’t leaving the building the same way he entered.

Angle and Anderson had a legendary steel cage match a couple years ago that was one of the best TNA matches I’ve ever seen. Back in the locker room Kurt Angle is checking on his friend Samoa Joe: Joe has been attacked and is still unconscious. Wes Briscoe promises to go to the ring with Angle instead.

Match #5:  Kurt Angle versus Ken Anderson in a steel cage.

Anderson slams Kurt into the corner and lands several punches. Anderson goes for a suplex but Angle blocks it. The two men exchange strikes with Angle getting the better of the exchange.

Angle hits Anderson with a missile dropkick and follows up with a pair of clotheslines. Anderson lands a kick, Angle responds with a German Suplex.  Anderson retaliates with a fireman’s carry roll through. Anderson slams Kurt into the cage and then steps on his hand.

Angle gets to his feet, slams Anderson into the cage, and then hits him with an Angle Slam for a 2 count.

Commercial

When we return, Anderson takes Angle down with a clothesline and then starts to climb the cage. Angle climbs up after him and they exchange punches while balancing on the top rope and clutching the cage. Anderson falls to the mat, but Angle falls balls first on the top rope.  Anderson goes for a cover but gets only 2.

Anderson hits Angle with a series of knee strikes and punches and  then starts climbing up the cage again. Angle again cuts Anderson off and then hits him with an Angle slam from the top rope! Both men hit hard, but Angle rolls over Anderson for a pin attempt and gets 2.

Anderson hits Angle with a low blow and then the Mic Check for a 2 count.  Anderson starts climbing the cage again, and Angle cuts him off with a powerbomb from the top!

Angle goes for a cover and gets 2, then quickly transitions into the ankle lock and Anderson taps. Angle wins by submission!

After the match, a lone masked member of Aces and Eights climbs into the ring. Wes Briscoe comes in to help Angle and Angle orders him to lock the door so no more Aces and Eights come in, although there don’t appear to be any others.

Angle confronts the masked man, who reveals himself to be…Garrett Bischoff. Angle and Wes both look shocked and Angle asks Briscoe if he knew anything about it, but Wes says no.

Angle charges Bischoff, but Briscoe chops Angle’s knee out from behind. Briscoe takes off his jacket to reveal an Aces and Eights vest. Briscoe and Bischoff beat Angle down as Impact goes off the air.

Tenay tells us that he was shocked by Taz’ betrayal and notes that Taz is not there at the announce table this week.  Aces and Eights make their way to the ring, led by Devon, DOC, Mike Knox, and Taz.

Taz grabs a mic and walks to the ring. Taz tells us that all week long people have been asking him why. Taz responds that he could not pass up the opportunity to join a dominant group bent on revenge. He makes a vague reference to a higher power.

He also tells us that his contract with TNA is iron clad, making him, in his words, bulletproof. If anyone tries to mess with him, he’ll end up owning the place, because he’s “Teflon Taz.”

In the back, Jesse and Tara prepare for Tara’s title match with Velvet Sky by playing with a Velvet Sky action figure.  The segment didn’t suck quite as much as it sounds like it probably did.

Commercial

Match #1: Tara with Jesse versus Velvet Sky.

Taz joins the announce team, and Tenay asks him who this “higher power” is that he mentioned earlier. (it’s Vince McMahon, I remember this storyline from years ago)

Taz laughs off the question and refuses to answer. Tara flexes at the start of the match and Velvet takes her down with a quick roll up attempt. Tara kicks out; Velvet applies a hammerlock and then tries to wrap her up again.

Velvet hits Tara with an armdrag and a couple clotheslines, and then follows up with a side Russian leg sweep. Tara rolls to the floor, but Velvet pulls her back in. Velvet hits Tara with a dropkick that sends Tara out to the floor.

Commercial

When we return, the two wrestler’s exchange kicks. Velvet hits Tara with a chop and a shoulder block and tries to follow up with a monkey flip but Tara blocks it.

Tara suplexes Velvet and then hits her with a standing moonsault. Tara always shakes her ass before executing the standing moonsault. I’m sure that makes the moonsault more effective in some way. Tara puts Velvet in a headlock and Velvet eventually fights out.

Tara grabs Velvet by the hair and slams her to the mat.  Tara goes to the top rope and Velvet knocks her off. The two knockouts exchange punches and Velvet takes Tara down with a pair of clotheslines. Velvet follows up with a hurricanrana.  Velvet sets Tara up for an inverted DDT, but then changes it to a face plant.

Jesse creates a distraction that keeps Velvet from getting the pin. Velvet goes for a suplex, but Jesse trips her.  Tara lands on Velvet and gets the pin as Jesse holds Velvet’s leg down.  Tara retains her title.

Commercial

In the back, Kenny King asks the mirror who is the fairest of all. Kenny is teaming up with Zema Ion tonight to face RVD and Christian York.  They both seem more concerned with looking good than winning.

Joseph Park makes his way to the ring. Joseph tells us that his place is not in a court room, but here in the Impact Zone as a member of the TNA roster. Joseph is disappointed he didn’t win his match at the PPV, but he fought hard and wants to fight again.

Next week TNA will be in Manchester England for Open Fight Night and Joseph tells us he’s going to call out someone and make his Impact wrestling debut and get his first “W”, as the boys call it.

Match #2:  Zema Ion and Kenny King versus RVD and Christian York.

Zema and RVD start the match off and Zema puts RVD in a headlock. RVD gets out and Zema hits him with a kick. RVD responds with an elevated drop kick and tags in York. York hits a kick and a knee lift and then tags in RVD.

RVD sends Zema into the corner and hits him with a monkey flip. RVD lands a kick and Zema goes to the floor. King grabs RVD by the hair to distract him, and Zema tags King in. King suplexes RVD and then grounds and pounds the X division champ.  King tags in Zema.

Zema and RVD trade strikes and Zema rakes Van Dam’s eyes.  Zema goes to the top and tries a 450 splash, but RVD rolls out of the way. RVD lands a kick and tags in York. York lands a couple kicks and a pair of clotheslines.

The partners come in to help and all 4 men start brawling in the ring. York knocks King to the floor and King pulls York out to the floor. RVD climbs to the top but King trips him up. Zema knocks RVD to the floor.

King hits York with a springboard blockbuster, and Zema tags himself in to make the cover and gets the win. King seems a little irritated at having the pin stolen out from under him.

Commercial

When we return, Samoa Joe is talking to Garrett Bischoff and seems a little irritated with them. They want to know how Kurt Angle is doing and Joe tells them to ask Kurt themselves. Kurt shows up and greets his friends. Angle says he’s not 100%, but he’s ready to kick ass.

Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan make their way to the ring.  Bully Ray wants Taz, but Taz disappeared shortly before Bully arrived to answer an important phone call.

Bully calls Taz a coward. Bully is mad that his friend and the only man that trusted him, Sting, got hurt last week.  He’s also mad Hulk got hurt, but he’s especially upset that Brooke, the woman he loves, was hurt last week when her wedding was ruined.

Bully Ray wants Hogan to lift his suspension so he can go after Aces and Eights for revenge. Sting comes out to tell Bully that Hogan will lift the suspension.

In the back, Bobby Roode and Austin Aries are arguing again. One of them has to face Hernandez tonight, and they’re trying to figure out who it should be. Roode says that since Austin is the fastest and most agile and has a great finisher, the brain buster, he should wrestle Hernandez.

Aries responds that with his power and technical wrestling skill, Roode should fight Hernandez. Aries also points out that Roode was the most dominant champion in TNA history for over a year. Roode points out that Aries beat him, and Aries reminds Roode that he actually beat him twice.

Roode thinks that means Aries should fight tonight. Aries reminds Roode that he called those wins “flukes”. Aries doesn’t agree, but says there may have been a tiny bit of fluketitude involved.

Roode triumphantly yells that Aries finally admitted it was a fluke, and Aries says he’ll back Roode up tonight against Hernandez. So I think Aries won the disingenuous ass kissing contest which means Roode has to fight SuperMex Hernandez tonight.

Commercial

Match #3:  Bobby Roode versus Hernandez with Chavo.

Taz rejoins the broadcast team. Roode and Hernandez lock up and Hernandez pushes Roode away. They lock up again and Roode gets behind Hernandez and hits him with an elbow followed by a couple punches.

Hernandez backdrops Roode and then hits him with a LONG delayed vertical suplex. Roode rakes the eyes to break the momentum and then hits Hernandez with a neckbreaker. Roode lands a kick, a snapmare, and then snaps the neck of Hernandez again.

Hernandez hits Roode with a boot and Roode responds with a back elbow. Roode hits Hernandez with an elbow drop and then a knee drop. Roode puts Hernandez in a chin lock and supermex gets out by backing Roode into the corner.  Hernandez hits Roode with a shoulder block and then follows up with a top rope shoulder tackle.

Hernandez hits Roode with a backbreaker. Roode starts to fight back, but Hernandez hits him with a he shoulder block that sends him out to the floor. Hernandez looks like he wants to hit Roode with a suicide dive but Aries runs down and pulls Roode out of the way.

Roode seems angered by Austin’s interference, but they don’t get much time to argue about it. Chavo goes after Aries outside the ring and they fight. Hernandez is distracted and Roode hits him with a bulldog for the win.

Aries and Roode continue arguing after the match. Aries says he saved Roode, Roode said he didn’t need any help.  Aries raises his hands and says “we did it!” Roode raises his hands and says “I did it!”

In a few weeks, I would not be surprised if they started yelling “NO, I am the tag team champions!” at each other.

Commercial

When we return, Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring to call out Ken Anderson. Anderson eventually shows up wearing an Aces and Eights vest. Anderson asks Kurt if he wants to fight him next week. Kurt nods his head.

Anderson says, well I don’t want to fight YOU next week. I don’t want to. I want to fight NOW!” and hits Angle in the head. Angle responds with a clothesline and tries to put the ankle lock on but Anderson escapes and runs away.

Angle tells Anderson that he’s calling Anderson out next week on Open Fight Night to a match in a steel cage. Angle and Anderson had one of the best matches in TNA history a couple years ago in a steel cage.

Commercial

When we return, Anderson is in the Aces and Eights clubhouse yelling at the hookers to shut up. Ken is worried about his cage match with Angle next week. Devon tells Ken not to worry, that they’ll have a game plan for the match. In the meantime, relax, enjoy yourself.

Match #4: Christopher Daniels with Kaz versus Jeff Hardy for the world championship.

The two men lock up and Daniels pushes Hardy to the corner.  Hardy puts Anderson in a headlock, but Anderson pushes him to the corner and hits him with several shoulder blocks.

Hardy hits Anderson with a hurricanrana and a pair of clotheslines. Hardy goes for a dropkick in the corner but Daniels dodges it and throws Hardy to the floor. Kaz comes in to congratulate his friend.

Commercial

During the break, Kaz hit Hardy with several cheap shots, giving Daniels the edge in the match. Daniels grinds his elbow into Hardy’s face, and then hits him with a suplex followed by a clothesline. Daniels repeatedly stomps on Hardy and then headbutts him.

Daniels drops Hardy with a slam that starts off looking like a neckbreaker. Daniels works on Hardy on the mat, pulling on his chin and arm. Daniels stomps on Hardy some more. Hardy hits Daniels with a clothesline and then they exchange punches.

Hardy hits Daniels with a clothesline and follows up with a double leg drop. Hardy hits Daniels with a kick, climbs to the top rope and hits him with a big splash. Daniels kicks out and hits Hardy with a Death Valley Driver, followed by a submission hold on the mat.

Daniels applies pressure to the head and neck of Hardy but Hardy makes it to the ropes, forcing a break. Daniels lands a couple punches and sets Hardy up on the turnbuckle for a superplex.

Hardy blocks the superplex and hits Daniels with a front suplex from the top rope. Hardy goes for the pin but Daniels gets his foot on the ropes. Daniels gets to his feet, hits Hardy with a chop and then plants him in the middle of the ring with Angel’s wings!

Hardy kicks out at 2 and Daniels climbs to the top rope.  Daniels tries to hit Hardy with the BME (Best Moonsault Ever) but Hardy rolls out of the way. Hardy tries whisper in the wind, but Daniels gets out of the way and rolls Hardy up for a two count.

Daniels tries to wrap Hardy’s arms up in a double underhook, but Hardy slips out of it. Hardy lands a kick and the Twist of Fate, and then follows it up with the Swanton Bomb for the win.

After the match, Taz says he wants to do his job as an announcer and decided to get into the ring to interview Hardy. Taz asks Hardy what he’s going to do when Aces and Eights destroys everything around him?

Before Hardy can answer, a masked member of Aces and Eights runs in behind Hardy and hits him in the back of the knee with a hammer. Hardy writhes in pain on the mat as Impact goes off the air.

Brooke is also getting ready with Miss Tessmacher. Tessmacher asks if her dad is showing up and there is uncomfortable silence.

The first person to make his way to the ring is Jeff Hardy. Hardy is greeted with a “You’ve still got it” chant, which is usually reserved for people older than him. I wonder if he feels insulted. Hardy is interrupted by Kaz and Daniels.

Kaz calls us all butt puppets. Daniels gets a title shot next week after defeating James Storm to become #1 contender. Daniels claims Hardy’s fans aren’t “creatures of the night”, but creatures of habit, and their habit is losing, just like AJ, Storm, and Hardy.

Daniels says we have his permission to worship him when he becomes champ. Daniels has been even more entertaining than usual lately. He’s no Curry Man, but he’s pretty entertaining.

Hardy attacks Daniels but gets double teamed by Kaz and Daniels. James Storm comes to the rescue and challenges Kaz and Daniels to a match, right now. Hardy and Storm attack Kaz and Daniels, throw them both back in the ring, and the bell rings.

Match #1: Hardy and Storm versus Kaz and Daniels.

Storm starts the match off with a backdrop to Daniels and then tags in Hardy. Hardy and Storm double team Daniels. Hardy hits Daniels with a mule kick before double teaming Daniels some more.

Daniels eventually frees himself and then it’s Kaz and Daniels turn to do some double teaming. Eventually Hardy dropkicks Daniels to the floor and hits him with a flying clothesline. Hardy hits Kaz with whisper in the wind and Daniels makes the save.

Daniels hits Hardy with an STO, Storm hits Daniels with Closing Time. Hardy tries the Twist of Fate on Kaz, but Kaz blocks it. Hardy tries the TOF fate again and hits it for the win! After the match, Daniels plants Hardy face first onto the belt with Angels Wings.

Commercial

When we return, Joseph Park gives Bully Ray a wedding gift; Cuban cigars. Joseph Park, a lawyer, just committed a crime on national TV; Cuban cigars are illegal in the US.

Gut Check: This week’s Gut Check segment features a choice between Jay Bradley and Brian Cage. Cage and Bradley wrestled last week, the first time 2 Gut Check contestants competed against each other instead of an established wrestler.

Jay Bradley was the winner.  Winning did not guarantee a contract, they still needed to vote. Cage was eliminated, and Bradley was approved by a 2-1 vote. Taz voted no.

Commercial

Match #2: Kenny King versus Christian York.

York dives onto King on the floor at the start of the match and punishes him outside the ring. York rolls King and King lands several kicks. York lands a series of strikes and a suplex. King rakes York’s eyes and rolls him up, pulling on the tights to get the dirty win.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray asks Sting to talk to Hogan for him, Sting agrees. In the back, Bobby Roode and Austin Aries are arguing again about who is greater and what they are wearing. They make a lovely couple, they really do. They eventually both agree that neither gets the respect they deserve from TNA for all they have accomplished.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray is getting ready with the three members of his wedding party; Spike (aka Brother Runt), Tommy Dreamer, and his best man, Taz.

Sting makes his way to the ring and calls out Hogan. Sting tells Hogan he should trust Bully Ray for all the help he has given Sting, Hulk, and most importantly, Brooke.  Hogan is convinced Bully Ray is no good, but also says he always does the right thing.

In the back, Gail Kim approaches Knockouts referee Taryn Tyrrell with an iPad. Gail shows footage of Taryn missing Gail’s foot on the ropes at the end of the #1 contenders gauntlet match last week. Gail gets a rematch with Velvet Sky this week and warns Taryn not to screw it up again.

Commercial

Match #3:  Gail Kim versus Velvet Sky.

The two knockouts trade strikes and clotheslines to start the match off. Velvet tries a neckbreaker but messes it up, Gail reverses and hits Velvet with a neckbreaker of her own.

Velvet suplexes Gail, but Gail retaliates with a twisting headscissors on the mat.  Velvet fights her way out, but Gail knocks her down with “Eat deFeet” but Velvet gets her foot under the rope before the count of three. Gail seems mad that Taryn sees the foot on the ropes when it’s Velvet’s foot.

Velvet hits Gail with a bulldog and a couple clotheslines. Velvet hits Gail with a double underhook face plant (In Yo Face) for the win.

In the back, Dixie Carter is congratulating Brooke.

Commercial.

When we return, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode make their way to the ring, which is already decorated for the wedding. Aries and Roode claim not to have been invited, but decided to show up anyway.

Aries and Roode claim that they were responsible for every great match and every great moment in TNA last year. Although they usually argue, they have started jointly demanding respect. Aries even referred to Roode as “the IT factor of pro wrestling and the most dominant TNA champ ever” and Roode refers to Aries as “the greatest man that ever lived.”

They claim the lack of respect they have gotten has forged mutual respect between them.  They criticize the current crop of TNA title holders including Hardy, Devon, RVD, Chavo and Hernandez, wondering if TNA has gone back in time 10 years.  I think they are saying all the current champs are OLD.

They also say they object to the wedding here tonight. Tag champs Chavo and Hernandez interrupt them to say they also object. They don’t object to the wedding, they object to Aries and Roode. Roode and Aries make some racist comments about Chavo and Hernandez being there to serve at the wedding and order some quesadillas.

Chavo and Hernandez chase Aries and Roode away. Looks like a tag title feud between Aries/Roode and Chavo/Hernandez. It’s too bad Aries and Roode are being taken out of the world title picture to be a tag team, but they are great together and should do great things for the tag division if they stay together.

Commercial

When we return, Hogan is showing Sting a picture of Brooke as a child and telling Sting he wanted to protect her from this business. I guess that’s why he got her a job there.  Moron! Sting tells Hogan he’s wrong about Bully Ray and he needs to walk his daughter down the aisle.

Bully Ray makes his way to the ring in a tux for the wedding. Soon after, the rest of the wedding party comes to the ring: Tessmacher and Tommy Dreamer, Mickie James and Runt/Spike, and Christy Hemme and Taz. Everyone looks at the entrance ramp to see if Hulk will accompany Brooke.

Commercial

When we return, Brooke comes out in her wedding dress, alone and looking over her shoulder. After she starts walking, Hulk shows up and escorts her to the ring. The wedding proceeds until Brooke and Bully are ready to exchange vows, which they do.  Bully’s vows end with “I frickin’ love you!”

The minister asks if anyone objects and no one does. He asks for the rings, but before the ceremony can be completed, Taz grabs Bully and asks Bully if he’s sure he wants to do this.

Brooke seems shocked and Taz tells her to shut up, and that this is none of her business. Everyone seems shocked at Taz’ rudeness until he removes his jacket to reveal an Aces and Eights shirt.

Taz is in cahoots with Aces and Eights and the rest of the gang storms the ring. The ring is completely surrounded; Aces and Eights run in and beat everyone down, destroying everything in the ring.

DOC and Mike Knox grab Brooke and force her to watch as her wedding is ruined and her wedding party beaten down. A barely conscious Hulk Hogan crawls across the mat to check on Bully Ray as Impact goes off the air.

Sting says he made his return on the 13th just like he said he would, and now he wants to fight DOC at the Genesis Pay Per View this Sunday. Sting says he’s just getting started, and has the support of the “shooter” and the “killer” (Angle and Joe.)

The crowd starts chanting for Joe and Joe promises to beat up and choke out anyone in Aces and Eights. Angle grabs the mic next and the crowd starts chanting for Angle. Angle promises to continue unmasking more members of Aces and Eights until they are all unmasked. Angle unmasked Mike Knox last week.

This week, Angle wants to call out Ken Anderson, the man that has been recruited by Aces and Eights recently. Anderson comes out the ring and he’s mad. Anderson reminds them that a couple months ago he was supposed to tag with Sting and got beat down in the back by Aces and Eights, and no one came to help him, not even his partner, Sting.

Sting says nothing, and Anderson continues speaking to Angle, telling him he doesn’t answer to him, and he never liked him. Angle says it’s mutual, and then punches him in the face.  Anderson falls out to the floor and walks away.

Commercial

Match #1:  X division title tournament.  Kenny King versus Zema Ion.

The two men lock up and King lands several strikes. King knocks Zema to the floor with a kick and tries a corkscrew dive to the floor, but Zema gets out of the way. Zema re enters the ring and then flips back out onto King.

Zema rolls King back into the ring, and King hits Ion with a big spin kick. King mounts and pounds Zema. King slams Zema into the corner and hits him with an elbow. Zema grabs King’s head and snaps his neck down on the top rope and follows up with a DDT.

King tries his finishing move, the Royal Flush, but Zema reverses it and rolls King up for a 2 count. Zema hits King with a suplex and then climbs to the top rope. Zema goes for a 450 splash but King rolls out of the way. King hits Zema with the Royal flush for the win.

In the back, Robbie E and Robbie T are talking, and Robbie E sounds sad. Robbie E is upset that the Jersey Shore was canceled, and he’s sad that he lost the bro-off to Robbie T recently, and now he has to find a female wrestler to team with him for a mixed tag match.

Robbie asks Miss Tessmacher, but she is disgusted by him.  Robbie says he’ll do anything, and Tessmacher agrees, but only if she gets to tag with Robbie T instead.

Commercial

When we return, we see Joe Park leaving wrestling school, preparing to return to TNA as a wrestler.  He walks into the door on his way out.

Match #2:  Robbie T and Miss Tessmacher versus Tara and Jesse.

Jesse and Robbie T start things off and Jesse can’t move big Rob. Robbie throws Jesse around easily until Jesse tags Tara in.  Tara and Tessmacher square off. Miss Tessmacher hits Tara with a couple clotheslines and then hits her in the face repeatedly with her vagina, then repeatedly hits her in the face with her ass.

I’m not making this crap up. This is not wrestling, it’s soft core porn. I’m sure lots of people are turned on by it, but it’s kind of stupid and makes no sense. Vaginal and anal tissues are soft; at least that’s what I’ve heard.

Tara tags in Big Rob and Robbie grabs Jesse by the throat, kicks him, and powerbombs him for the win. After the match, Tessmacher and Robbie T dance and make out. Tessmacher lays on the ground swooning as Robbie E looks on in disbelief.

Commercial

Match #3:  Gut Check match.

This will be the first Gut Check match in which both competitors (Jay Bradley and Brian Cage) will be competing against each other instead of an established star. The two men lock up and push each other around the cage and exchange go-behind attempts.

Cage takes Bradley down first, but Bradley reverse and tries to roll Cage up. Cage puts Bradley in a headlock and Bradley escapes. The two men trade punches and forearm shots. Cage lands a European uppercut and Bradley responds with boot to the face.

Bradley stomps on cage and hits him with an elbow to the head. Bradley bodyslams Cage and then drops the knee on him. Bradley looks to be setting Cage up for a clothesline, but Cage lands a dropkick first that sends Bradley out to the floor.

Cage climbs onto the second rope, away from the turnbuckle, and slingshot suplexes Bradley back into the ring.  Cage misses a discuss clothesline and Bradley hits him with a big lariat for the win.

Back at the Aces and Eights clubhouse, everyone is having fun except Ken Anderson. Anderson is mad that Angle hit him and he wants payback. The boss agrees, but says they have something else to take care of first.

The boss asks Mike Knox if he has anything to say for himself after allowing himself to be unmasked. The boss also tells Knox that he has to re-earn his spot in the club after getting unmasked, just like Doc did.

Commercial

Joe Park makes his way to the ring to call out Hulk Hogan. Park tells Hogan that he’s finished wrestling school and now wants a match with Aces and Eights. Hogan still doesn’t want to give him a match because he’s still too green. (or a “Green Hornet” in Park’s words.)

Park persists and Hogan finally agrees to let him have a match against Aces and Eights member Devon at Genesis. Joe is glad.

Brooke Hogan interrupts her father on the big screen. Brooke says that she has been trying to get in touch with her dad for days but he won’t return her messages. Brooke wants to know if Hulk is going to reinstate her boyfriend Bully Ray.

Hogan says no, angrily, and leaves. Brooke looks sad. Sort of anyway, she’s not a great actress.

In the back, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode are arguing about what they are going to wear and who is the better wrestler. Aries says they should put aside their differences because they could be a dream team, or maybe even a wet dream team, in Aries words.

Commercial

Match #4:  Austin Aries and Bobby Roode versus Jeff Hardy and James Storm.

Roode comes out first wearing his robe, and Aries comes out next wearing his shirt and cape.  Storm and Hardy come to the ring next. Roode and hardy start the match off and lock up. Roode puts Hardy in a headlock and Hardy escapes.

Roode puts hardy back in the headlock and then shoulder blocks him to the mat. Hardy hits Roode with a hip toss and a shoulder block. Roode tags in Aries and they argue while tagging.  Aries takes Hardy down and rotates on top of him and then applies a front chancery.

Hardy punches Aries and then hits him with a hurricanrana. Hardy hits Aries with an inverted atomic drop, and when Roode runs in to help, he hits Roode with an atomic drop as well. Storm and Hardy double team Aries and hit him with poetry in motion. Aries rolls out to the floor where he and Roode start shoving each other.

Commercial

When we return Hardy and Roode are the legal men, and Hardy hits Roode with an elbow. Hardy climbs to the top rope but Roode knocks him off and stomps on him. Aries tags himself in and hits Hardy, jumps on his leg, and puts him in a front chancery.

Aries tags in Roode and hardy takes Roode down with a sunset flip. Hardy goes for a pin but the ref was distracted by Aries. Roode tags in Aries and Aries lands an elbow and a knee to the head, then tags Roode back in. Roode hits Hardy with a kick, a bodyslam, and a Swagger Bomb.

Roode tags in Aries and Aries hits Hardy with a corkscrew splash. Aries repeatedly claps his arms on Hardy’s head and tags in Roode. Roode hits hardy with a vertical suplex and a knee drop. Roode tags in Aries and Aries hits Hardy with a suplex and a knee drop.   Roode tags himself in and climbs to the top, but hardy hits him with whisper in the wind and tags in Storm.

Storm hits Roode and Aries with several punches. Storm hits Roode with an inverted backdrop, a clothesline, a backdrop and then an Alabama Slamma to Aries.  Strorm hits Roode with a kick and a neckbreaker. Storm hits Aries with closing time and Aries rolls to the floor.  Daniels and Kazarian run in to interfere in the match.

Hardy hits Roode with the Twist of Fate, but Aries runs in and hits Hardy in the head with the title belt. Aries and Storm get DQ’d, and then beat Hardy down. After the match, Aries and Roode argue over who gets to hold up Hardy’s title.

Commercial

When we return, Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan are bragging about their upcoming match for the tag titles at Genesis. Ryan calls their team “the Big Morgan and the Big Organ.” They get jumped and beat up by tag champs Chavo and Hernandez.

Ken Anderson walks to the ring and introduces himself as the golden glossolalia. (glossolalia refers to speaking in tongues) Anderson is going to have a match with Kurt Angle next.

Match #5:  Ken Anderson versus Kurt Angle.

Anderson retreats to the floor and Angle calls him a little bitch. Angle tells Anderson he’d better get in the ring soon, or he’s coming after him. Mike Knox comes up behind Angle and hits him in the back of the neck with a hammer.

Bischoff, Briscoe, and Samoa Joe run out to help, but it’s too late. Angle is taken out on a stretcher.

After the match, Sting comes to the ring with bat in hand and challenges Mike Knox to a fight right then and there. Devon orders Knox to go in and fight Sting.

Commercial

When we return, Sting and Knox go after each other: Sting with a bat and Knox with a hammer.  Sting hits Knox with the bat and Knox drops the hammer. Earl Hebner takes both weapons away and starts the match.

I thought the match was starting when we got back from commercial, so I don’t know why Sting was not DQ’d for hitting Knox with a bat.

Knox hits Sting with a punch and a clothesline and then chokes him on the ropes. Knox jumps on Sting’s back while Sting is draped on the ropes and then knocks him to the floor. Knox goes after Sting and they trade strikes on the floor. Sting gets the upper hand and throws Knox into the steel steps three times.

Sting slams Knox into the steel barrier and then hits him with a Stinger splash on the barrier. Sting rolls Knox back into the ring and attempts the Scorpion Death lock but Knox  gets out of it. Knox tries to attack Sting but Sting no-sells it and then hits Knox with a Stinger splash.

Sting hits Knox with a Scorpion Death Drop for the win. After the match, Sting grabs the hammer that Knox had and smashes his hand with it. Sting prepares to hit Knox again but is interrupted by Devon.

Devon and the rest of Aces and Eights has taken Brooke Hogan hostage and asks Sting what he’s going to do about it. Devon promises 2013 will be Aces and Eights year, until Bully Ray comes out.

Bully runs right at Aces and Eights swinging his steel chain and he chases them all of. Bully saves his new sweetie, Brooke Hogan. Hulk Hogan comes out and he doesn’t look happy.

Commercial

When we return, instead of thanking Bully Ray for saving his daughter, Hogan blames him for putting her in harm’s way. Bully Ray says he has been a pro wrestler all his life and that was his only love, until now.

Bully claims to have finally found something he loves more than wrestling: Brooke Hogan.  Bully tells Brooke that she makes him laugh, and that he loves her. Bully then tells Brooke he knows it all happened very fast, but he wants to marry her.

Bully drops to one knee and places a ring on her finger. Brooke says yes and they smooch.  Bully says he wants to do it in the Impact Zone, in the ring, next week. Brooke seems thrilled.

Bully and Brooke make out some more and Hulk walks away angry. Brooke and Bully show off the engagement ring for the camera as Impact goes off the air.

Borash tells us that he has the 5 finalists, and winner, of the TNA wrestler of the year award.  The nominees are Bully Ray, James Storm, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, and Jeff Hardy. Roode and Aries are each convinced it will be them, and argue back and forth as they make their way to the ring.  Jeff Hardy is announced as the winner; Aries and Roode are both outraged. Roode claims that as the longest reigning heavyweight champ ever in TNA, he should have won.

Aries argues that as the longest reigning X division champ and the man that beat Roode for the heavyweight title, he should have won. Hardy proclaims that 2012 was the year of the enigma and challenges both of them to a title match at Genesis. Aries swings Hardy’s trophy at him, but Hardy ducks and Aries hits Roode instead. Hardy hits Aries with the Twist of Fate and stands triumphantly over both of them.

In the back, James Storm is approached for an interview when they are interrupted by Kaz and Daniels. Daniels does a Storm impersonation and tells Storm’s fans he’s sorry he loses so much lately and that he’s “sorry about my damn luck.” Storm says he’ll fight either one of them right now and walks to the ring.

Commercial

Match #1:  James Storm versus Kaz.

Daniels gets into the ring to fight Storm, but Kaz runs in and hits Storm from behind. Daniels leaves after the distraction and Kaz goes to work on Storm. Storm and Kaz trade strikes and Kaz throws Storm over the top rope.

Storm holds onto the top rope and pulls himself back in. Storm downs Kaz with a Thesz press and throws him out of the ring. Storm leaps out of the ring onto Kaz on the floor. Daniels and Kaz take turns distracting the ref so the other can land some cheap shots on Storm.

Kaz puts Storm in a chin lock; Storm fights out but Kaz knocks him down again. Kaz hits Storm with a leg drop and then slaps him. Storm hits kaz with closing time and follows up with several punches. Storm hits Kaz with a side Russian leg sweep and then a flying elbow drop from the top rope.

Storm goes for a cover and gets 2. Kaz hits Storm with a fireman’s carry cutter and gets a 2 count. Storm hits Kaz with closing time again and sets up for the last call superkick. Daniels tries to distract Storm but Storm hits him with an Enzuigiri. Kaz climbs to the top rope and leaps off, but Storm hits him with the superkick before he lands and then covers him for the win.

In the Aces and Eights clubhouse, Devon and Doc are still trying to recruit Ken Anderson.  They’re giving him beer and biker girls and he’s loving it, but is in no hurry to make up his mind. Doc runs out of patience and tells Anderson they need to know now. Anderson seems to be in.

Commercial

When we return, Kenny Kash approaches Kid Kash to wish him luck tonight in his X division tournament match. Kash claims to have seen Kash many years ago on VHS tapes. I think he’s implying Kash is old. I have to rewind my VHS tape to make sure that’s what he said. I should also probably turn up my hearing aid because I’m even older than Kid Kash.

Doc is in the ring calling out Sting, the man he assaulted with a hammer weeks ago.  A bat falls out of the sky and lands in the ring near Doc.

Commercial

Match #2:  Kid Kash versus Christian York.

X Division tournament match. Kash attacks York right away, landing several strikes. York responds with an elbow and a clothesline that knocks Kash to the floor. Kash pulls York out to the floor and chops him. Kash rolls back in and then flies back out, hitting York with a hurricanrana.

Kash rakes York’s back and then rolls him back in. Kash slingshots himself back into the ring but York hits him with a dropkick in mid air. York hits Kash with an Enzuigiri and then climbs to the top.  York comes off the top rope and misses but then hits Kash with a boot to the face.

York hits Kash with a half nelson suplex and Kash responds with a suplex of his own. Kash hits York with a few crossface shots and then goes for a moonsault but York gets his knees up. York lands a couple kicks and then Kash responds with a chinbreaker. York hits Kash with a modified flatliner and tries to roll him up with an inside cradle. Kash lands a kick and goes for a backslide, but York counters with “Mood Swings” (a swinging neckbreaker) for the win!

Match #3:  Matt Morgan versus Hernandez with Chavo.

Morgan comes out with Joey Ryan wearing a sling. Morgan claims he hurt himself training, but Joey Ryan will kick his ass instead. Joey seems a little upset about this at first. Not much of a match, Hernandez hits Ryan a kick, a bodyslam, and a backbreaker before Matt Morgan interferes.

Morgan has discarded his sling and now seems fine.  Hernandez shoulder blocks Ryan across the ring, but is then clotheslined out of the ring by Morgan. Chavo goes after Ryan, but Morgan takes Chavo out with the Carbon Footprint.

Commercial

When we return, Hulk Hogan calls out Bully Ray and his daughter Brooke. Hogan is mad that Brooke and Bully have been sneaKash around behind his back instead of coming to him directly. Bully Ray acknowledges he was wrong and seems apologetic.

Hogan suspends him indefinitely without pay and tells Brooke to leave as well. Ray is shocked that he just got suspended and wants to know why. TNA sucks at this sort of thing; they have great wrestlers, they do NOT have great writers. They should focus on what they do well, fighting, and stop doing what they suck at, which is talKash.

Commercial

Joseph Park is apparently doing well learning how to wrestle at OVW.

Match #4: Gail Kim and Tara versus Miss Tessmacher and Mickie James.

Gail and Tessmacher start the match off. Gail whips Tessmacher to the ropes and Tessmacher leaps back to knock Gail down with a clothesline. Tara hits Tessmacher with a cheap shot and then Gail tags Tara in. Tara hits Tessmacher with a kick and a chop.

Tessmacher takes Tara down with a snapmare and tags in Mickie. Mickie dropkicks Tara and then dropkicks Gail as well, knocKash them both to the floor. Mickie and Tessmacher pursue Tara and Gail outside the ring and knock them into each other. After order is restored,  Tara and Gail double team Mickie.

Commercial

Gail and Tara double team Mickie, but Mickie ducks an attack from Tara and then clotheslines Gail. Mickie tags in Tessmacher, and Tessmacher clotheslines Tara. Tessmacher whips Tara into the corner and the violently rams her vagina into Tara’s face.

I feel weird writing that every week, but Divas and Knockouts use their vaginas, asses, and boobs as weapons every week. I know this is to turn on the young straight men that watch wrestling in large numbers, but it really should scare them. If you watch TNA every week, you must conclude that a woman’s naughty bits are DEADLY!

Gail hits Tessmacher with a cheap shot, and Tara mounts her. Tara blatantly chokes Tessmacher on the mat and then throws her by her hair across the ring. Tara hits Tessmacher with a backbreaker and then tags in Gail. Gail hits Tessmacher with several kicks, a gut buster, and a forearm shot.

Gail slams Tessmacher’s face to the mat and then tags Tara in. Tara hits Tessmacher with a leg drop then pulls her arms back in a bow and arrow. Tara slams Tessmacher to the mat and then goes for a standing moonsault.

Tessmacher gets her knees up in time to block the moonsault and then slams Tara to the mat.  Tara and Tessmacher make tags at the same time. Mickie pounds on Gail and then hits her with a hurricanrana and then a neckbreaker. Mickie goes for a cover and Tara makes the save. Tessmacher comes in to attack Tara and Jesse pulls his girlfriend to safety.

Tessmacher goes to the top rope and hits Tara and Jesse with a flying crossbody on the floor.  Gail goes after Mickie but Mickie sidesteps the attack and plants Gail with a DDT for the win.

Commercial

When we return, ODB tells us that her hubby Eric Young is not ready to come back yet, but he will be soon. In Hogan’s office, Roode and Aries are arguing with Hogan about the triple threat match they have with Hardy at Genesis.

Hogan doesn’t want to listen to them and makes the match a 3 way elimination match.  He also tells them they will be teaming up next week against Hardy and a partner of his choosing.

Commercial

Match #5:  Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe versus Devon and a large masked man from Aces and Eights.

Doc hits Kurt Angle in the back with the steel door before the match begins and locks Angle out of the cage, giving Devon and the masked man a 2 on 1 advantage. Joe puts a beating on both members of Aces and Eights the first few minutes, landing several strikes on each of them. Joe drops the masked man in the corner and gives him a facewash with his boot.

Joe prepares to give the masked man a running boot to the face but is cut off by a flying forearm from Devon. Devon and the masked man take turns holding Joe so the other can beat him, but Joe eventually gets the upper hand again until Devon rakes his eyes.

The masked man hits Joe with a big boot and Joe responds with an open palm strike to the face.  Angle tries to climb into the cage, but is cut off by Doc. Devon and the masked man continue to double team Joe inside the cage.

Commercial

Joe hits both opponents with strikes, and then comes off the top rope to knock Devon down. Joe hits the masked man with a t-bone suplex. Outside the ring Kurt Angle tries to get into the cage but is again cut off by Doc.  Angle kicks Doc in the nuts and then unlocks the door.

Angle hits Devon with a pair of clotheslines and then a forearm. Angle hits the masked man with an elbow and then a missile dropkick. Angle tries to pull off the masked mans mask, but is hit by Doc with another cheap shot. Devon and the masked man double team Joe. Devon whips the masked man into Joe, and then runs over Kurt.

The masked man hits Kurt with a side slam as Devon climbs to the top rope. Devon tries to hit Angle with a flying headbutt but Angle rolls out of the way. Joe hits the masked man with a kick.  Angle hits Devon with three consecutive German Suplexes and then hits the masked man with another one.

Joe and Angle slam the masked man to the cage and Joe hits him with an atomic drop. Angle hits the masked man with an Angle Slam for the win!!

After the match, Angle tries to pull of the masked man’s mask, but a massive number of Aces and Eights members run in to stop him. Aces and Eights put a beating on Angle and Joe inside the cage while Ken Anderson looks on from the outside.

Angle is starting to get very bloody when Sting comes to the rescue. Sting enters the cage with a baseball bat and starts swinging. Several members of Aces and Eights take big shots from Sting with the bat and the rest run away. Sting, Angle and Joe remain in the ring with 1 member of Aces and Eights; the masked man that teamed up with Devon.

They unmask the Aces and Eights members and we see that it’s Mike Knox. Angle, Joe, and Sting celebrate their victory in the cage as Impact goes off the air.

In the back, Velvet Sky is celebrating her return after a 6 month absence.  She tells us she has pigeons up her ass and they want to come out.  It sounds a little uncomfortable to me, but I’m sure Tazz is happy to hear it.  Commercial

Match #1: Madison Rayne versus Velvet Sky.  The aforementioned pigeons are let loose before the match.  Todd Keneley hands Tazz a towel to wipe himself off.  While Velvet shows off her ass, Madison pushes her hard into the corner.  Velvet responds by slamming Madison’s face into the corner repeatedly.  Velvet  hits Madison with a kick and a snapmare.  Madison retaliates with a clothesline.  Madison steps on Velvet’s hair, grabs her arms, and then pulls.  Madison wraps Velvets head up in a headscissors and then slams her face repeatedly into the mat.  Madison goes for a cover and Velvet kicks out at 2.  Velvet lands a kick and a pair of chops.  Velvet hits Madison with a punch, puts her in a headlock, clotheslines her several times, and then takes her down with a bulldog. Velvet hits Madison with a face plant for the win.

In the back, Kurt Angle, Wes Briscoe, and Garrett Bischoff do a bullshit segment that is nothing more than a commercial for 5 hour energy.  That was annoying.  Commercials should be kept for commercial breaks, so don’t buy 5 hour energy.   This was followed by an actual commercial break. Commercial

Match #2:  Robbie E and Big Robbie T versus Garrett Bischoff and Wes Briscoe.  Robbie T powerslams Briscoe and then tags Robbie E.  Robbie E lands a couple punches and a slap.  Briscoe lands a couple punches in return and Robbie takes him down with a drop toe hold.  Robbie E fake tags in big Rob, and big Rob puts Wes in a bearhug.  Wes fights his way out and Robbie slams him into the corner.  The Robbies double team Wes and Robbie T tags Robbie E in.  Robbie E body slams Wes and climbs to the top rope.  Robbie E jumps off the top rope but Briscoe gets his boots up in time and knocks Robbie down.  Wes tags Bischoff in and Bischoff hits Robbie with some strikes and a shoulder block.  Garrett hits Robbie E with a flapjack but is then knocked down by a cheap shot from Robbie T.  Robbie E tags Robbie T in.  Garrett lands a shot to Robbie T and tags in Briscoe.  Briscoe comes off the top rope and hits Robbie T with a  flying cross body for the win.  Kurt Angle celebrates with his young protégés but is then attacked by Aces and Eights.  Aces and Eights clip Angle’s leg from behind.  Angle will be facing Devon next week for the tv title, which is probably why this attack took place.  Commercial

When we return, Kurt Angle is being tended to in the back by the trainers.  Joseph Park, meanwhile, is getting ready to start wrestling school and he shows up at Ohio Valley Wrestling.  Head instructor Danny Davis shows Park the ropes and screams at him like a drill sergeant.

Tara and Jesse show up in Brooke Hogan’s office to try and score some brownie points.  Brooke doesn’t want to hear it and tells Jesse he needs to stick another sock in his shorts.  Commercial

Match #3:  Jeff Hardy and James Storm versus Doc and a large masked man from Aces and Eights.  Doc and Storm start things off and exchange punches.  Storm hits Doc with a clothesline and tags in Hardy.  Hardy comes in off the top down across Doc’s arm.  Doc tags in the masked man and Hardy hits him with a punch, a clothesline, and then hurricanranas him to the floor.  Hardy kicks the masked man back to the floor as he tries to re enter, then Hardy follows up with a double clothesline to Doc and the masked man on the floor. Commercial

Hardy lands a kick to Devon but the masked man hits Hardy with a cheap shot.  Devon stomps on Hardy as Tazz points out that the masked man is the massive member of Aces and Eights.  That sounded dirty to me.  Storm hits Doc several times on the floor outside the ring.  The masked man saves Doc and Doc rolls Hardy back into the ring.  Doc lands several punches and then tags in the masked member.  Doc and the masked man exchange  a couple quick tags and pummel Hardy.  Hardy eventually gets free by hitting the masked man with a jawbreaker, but is unable to make the tag.  Hardy takes more shots from Aces and Eights and nearly makes the tag again but is stopped by Doc, who wraps up Hardy’s legs and drags him back to the corner.  After some more double teaming, the masked man throws Hardy to the floor and then Doc slams Hardy into the security barrier.  The masked man tags Doc and Doc hits Hardy with a splash in the middle of the ring.  Doc puts Hardy in a headlock but Hardy fights out.  Hardy lands an elbow and then whisper in the wind and both men are down.  Doc and the masked man try to keep Hardy isolated but he escapes with a mule kick and tags in Storm.  Storm runs in and hits the masked man with a flying crossbody and then tags Hardy back in so they can execute “poetry in motion.”  Storm and Hardy follow up with a double suplex to Doc.  Hardy hits the masked man with a clothesline and Devon runs in to interfere.  Storm cuts off Devon and Hardy hits the masked man with the twist of fate for the win.

After the match, Devon reveals that it was Austin Aries that paid them off this past Sunday.  Commercial

When we return, AJ Styles makes his way to the ring to address the crowd after his historic loss to Christopher Daniels at Final Resolution.  AJ says he doesn’t know what he’s doing next, but he does know he is sick of being a corporate guy and cleaning up TNA’s messes.  From now on he’s out for #1, AJ Styles.  Dixie approaches him after and asks who he is.  AJ walks away.  In another part of the backstage area, Christopher Daniels and Kaz celebrate Daniels recent victory over AJ.  Kaz promises Daniels he has a surprise for him.

Match #4:  Kenny King versus X Division champ RVD.  The title is not on the line, but King wants the win badly after losing to RVD in a title match this past Sunday.  King and RVD exchange head locks and hammerlocks to start the match off, reversing each other several times.  RVD hits King with a kick and then poses for the crowd.  Kings kicks RVD in the back and knocks him to the floor.  King hits RVD with a corkscrew dive to RVD on the floor.  King rolls RVD in and then hits him with a few strikes, and then follows up with a leaping back elbow in the corner.  King lands a punch but RVD fights back and lands a couple spin kicks.   RVD goes to the top rope and hits King with a flying leg drop.  RVD goes back up top but King cuts him off and hits him with a springboard blockbuster.  King swings at RVD but Van Dam ducks it and bodyslams King.  RVD hits King with a northern lights suplex and then a leg drop.  RVD goes to the top and hits King with a flying crossbody.  King rolls through the crossbody by Van Dam and covers RVD.  King gets his feet on the ropes for additional (and illegal) leverage and gets the win.

In the back, Hulk Hogan and Bully Ray are having an argument.  Hogan is mad that Bully has been sneaking around with Hulk’s daughter.  Ray claims Brooke has been following him around, and that Hogan should trust him after all he’s done for TNA lately. They both seem very angry.  Commercial

Match #5:  Jesse (with Tara) versus Bully Ray.  Ray starts off strong and hits Jesse with a clothesline, a punch, and a shoulder block.  Jesse tries to retaliate with some chops, but Bully Ray shrugs them off like they were nothing.   Bully hits Jesse with a big boot to the face, and then follows up with a couple very LOUD chops to the chest.  Tara comes in to beg Bully to stop hurting her boyfriend, and Bull Ray spanks her in the middle of the ring.  Jesse looks angry that his girlfriend just got spanked by another man and knocks Bully Ray over with a double axe handle to the back.  Jesse stomps on Ray, chops him, and then hits him with another double axe handle.  Jesse hits Bully Ray with a couple crossfaces and forearm shots.  Jesse shows off his impressive physique to the crowd.  Jesse hits Bully with a couple elbow strikes and a dropkick.  Bully hits Jesse with another chop, but Jesse knocks Bully back down with a clothesline  and then punches him repeatedly.  Jesse hits Ray with a big boot in the corner and a back elbow.  Tara reaches up and pulls Bully’s neck down over the rope, choking him.  Jesse hits Ray with a forearm and a dropkick.  Jesse flexes again and then tries to follow up with a leg drop but misses.  Ray hits Jesse with a Bubba Cutter (Bully Cutter?) for the win!  After the match, Bully Ray asks the camera what it’s going to take for Hogan to trust him. Commercial

When we return, Austin Aries makes his way to the ring.  Austin admits that he was the man that paid Aces and Eights to attack Jeff Hardy and Bobby Roode at the end of the Pay Per View Sunday.  Austin isn’t surprised that they outed him, and he doesn’t mind, just as long as they did what they were paid to do, and they did.  Aries reminds us that when he was champion, Hogan put Aries in the front line to face Aces and Eights and he got nothing for it.  Now he’s going to do things his way and get back his world title.  Jeff Hardy comes out and says all Aries had to do was ask like a man.  Aries responds that he isn’t sure about that, he thinks he may have to climb a ladder or have some other gimmick or stipulation that doesn’t favor him.  Hardy challenges Aries to a title match next week on Impact as part of Championship Thursday.  The crowd seems to like the idea, but Aries says he doesn’t want to fight Hardy in the Impact Zone in front of all his fans, he wants to decide when and where they fight, whether the fans like it or not.  Hardy says he always gives the fans what they want, and then tackles Aries.  The two men brawl for a while before Hardy drops Aries with the Twist of Fate.  Hardy climbs to the top, presumably for a Swanton, but Aries rolls out of the ring and backs away up the ramp.  Hardy still wants to fight, but Aries just smiles at him as Impact goes off the air.

Roode grabs the mic next and guarantees a win this Sunday at Final Resolution against Jeff Hardy. He has apparently made some kind of investment that will ensure his victory. Daniels grabs the mic last and calls out his nemesis and opponent this Sunday, AJ Styles.

AJ comes out and claims Daniels has always been jealous of him. Daniels claims AJ has become a loser, and lists all the key matches AJ has lost this year. AJ responds by tackling Daniels. Daniels, Roode, and Kaz all beat AJ down until Storm and Hardy come out to save him.

In the back, Austin Aries says he’s mad at Bully Ray for attacking him last week and wants to fight him at Final Resolution.

Commercial

Match #1:  TV champ Samoa Joe versus Devon for the title.

Joe’s TV title reign makes him a grand slam champion in TNA. (tag , X division, world, and TV titles) The two men lock up and Joe pushes Devon to the corner. Joe lands several punches; Devon responds with an eye poke.  Joe hits Devon with a back elbow and then an enzuigiri.

Joe hits Devon with a forearm shot, a kick, and a knee drop. Joe charges at Devon, but Devon pulls down the top rope and Joe falls to the floor. Devon slams Joe into the steel steps and then rolls him back into the ring.  The two men exchange punches and then Devon hits Joe with a back elbow.

Devon charges into Joe in the corner and then lands on him with a running splash. Devon tries a flying headbutt but misses. Devon throws a few punches but Joe ducks them and then Joe responds with a punch of his own. Joe hits Devon with a punch, an atomic drop, a kick and a backsplash. Devon charges Joe in the corner but Joe just slams him to the mat with an S.T.Joe.

Joe puts Devon in the rear naked choke and some anonymous blonde woman distracts both Joe and the ref. DOC takes advantage of the distraction and hits Joe with a hammer, allowing Devon to cover Joe and pick up the win. Devon is the new champ and he celebrates with Doc and some biker chicks.

Commercial

Al Snow and D Lo Brown are in the back talking about Al’s absence last week.  Al doesn’t know what happened, but he woke up Friday morning in a hospital bed. Al thanks D Lo for filling in for him at last week’s gut check vote.

Mickie James makes her way to the ring wearing a lovely dress. Mickie thanks her friends, family, and fans for their support, and promises to win the Knockouts title from Tara this Sunday. Mickie is interrupted by Tara and her boyfriend Jesse.

Tara says she will keep her title, but she is also interrupted by the returning Velvet Sky. Velvet wishes Tara and Mickie luck, but promises she will become Knockout’s champ in 2013.

In the back, big Robbie E is having trouble with his computer. Bigger Robbie T explains that it’s a touch screen and teaches him how to use it. Kind of a useless segment, but they do look adorable together in their matching outfits.  Commercial

Match #2:  Robbie E and Robbie T versus tag champs Chavo and Hernandez.

Robbie E and Chavo lock up first; Chavo gets behind Robbie and takes him down with a snapmare. Chavo suplexes Robbie and tags in Hernandez. Hernandez puts Robbie in a bear hug then throws him backwards over his head. Hernandez tags in Chavo and Chavo bodyslams Robbie.

Chavo lands some more strikes before getting hit with a cheap shot from Robbie T. Robbie E tags T in and Robbie T beats Chavo down.  Robbie T bodyslams Chavo and then flexes. T tags in Robbie E before dropping Chavo with a side slam.  Robbie E hits Chavo with a forearm and then applies a headlock.

Robbie beats Chavo down, but Chavo retaliates with a suplex and then tags in Hernandez. Hernandez enters the ring with a flying shoulder block to Robbie. Hernandez hits Robbie with a backdrop and then a backbreaker. Hernandez clotheslines Robbie E to the floor.

Robbie T runs in but Chavo dropkicks him to the floor. Hernandez hits Robbie E with a backdrop and a Shoulder block and then tags in Chavo.  Chavo hits Robbie with the frog splash for the win.

After the match, Joey Ryan comes out and says that he and Matt Morgan will beat Chavo and Hernandez for the tag titles at Final Resolution. As Joey speaks, Morgan enters the ring from behind Chavo and Hernandez and clotheslines them both.

Ryan calls his partner Matt Morgan “the Big Morgan” and himself as “the Big Organ.” I think he’s probably referring to his chode, or possibly his liver, but I think it’s most likely his chode.

In the back, Aces and Eights are celebrating Devon’s win with their newfound biker chick groupies. Devon is ready to throw a dart to find out who their next victim will be, but he’s stopped by the boss. The boss flashes a wad of cash; apparently they’ve been paid to attack someone specific.

Commercial

Match #3:  Kurt Angle versus Doc.

Kurt starts the match of with a lot of punches and kicks. Kurt starts to focus on Doc’s knee, twisting it and chopping it from behind.  Doc turns things around with a clothesline, and then proceeds to stomp Angle. The two men exchange strikes, and then Doc clotheslines Angle to the floor.

Doc whips Angle to the steel steps and then rolls him back in. Doc lands a punch, but Angle responds with a kick and a missile dropkick off the second rope. Angle hits Doc with three straight German Suplexes, releasing him with the third one. Angle goes for an Angle slam but it’s blocked by Doc, who follows up with a kick.

Kurt tries and Ankle lock, but Doc rolls out. Angle hits Doc with 2 more German Suplexes, but Doc grabs the rope to block the third one. As the ref calls for a rope break, Doc is able to get away with a kick to Angle’s groin.  Doc hits Angle with a clothesline and then covers him for 2.

Doc tries for a choke slam but Angle blocks it. Angle hits Doc with an Angle slam but is too hurt to capitalize and Doc rolls to the floor. Doc rolls back in and hits Angle with a choke slam and gets a 2 count. Angle hits Doc with an Angle slam and then applies the ankle lock.

Aces and Eights runs in to attack Angle, but Bischoff, Briscoe, and Joe all come out to help. Angle challenges any 4 members of Aces and Eights to a match at Final Resolution against the 4 of them. (Angle, Bischoff, Brisco, and Joe)

In the office, Hulk Hogan is on the phone with someone named Joseph when he is interrupted by Bully Ray. Bully Ray wants to fight Austin Aries and he orders Hogan to give him the match. Hogan laughs at him and says no. Ray says he’s going to take over the show until Hogan gives him what he wants.

Commercial

When we return, James Storm and Jeff Hardy are talking. After they are done talking, Jeff Hardy keeps talking, in his head. We can still hear his inner monologue. I don’t know why, they must think it’s cool. I think it’s weird.

Match #4:  Kenny King versus Kid Kash versus Zema Ion to determine the #1 contender for the X division title.

Thankfully, this is being decided by a match and not some painfully boring chat with Hogan and the three contenders in the back office. Hopefully they won’t pull that nonsense anymore.  Kash starts off fast and hits King and Ion with strikes.

Zema dropkicks Kash to the floor and tries to roll King up. King hits Zema with a spin kick and Zema responds with an elbow. Kash yanks Zema out to the floor before being knocked back to the floor by Kenny King. Zema clothesline King but then is attacked from behind by Kash. Kash hits Zema with a series of crossfaces.

King hits Zema with a body slam and then a springboard legdrop. Zema shoulder blocks King in the corner. Zema and King exchange strikes and King rolls Zema up for a 2 count.  Kash breaks it up and sends both men out to the floor. Kash hits Zema with an over the top rope hurricanrana; King springboards out of the ring onto Kash.

Zema flies over the top rope and takes out King and Kash. Zema rolls in King and climbs the top rope. King cuts Zema off and tries to set him up for something, possibly a version of a superplex. Kash re enters the ring and takes Zema and King out of the corner with the Tower of Doom.

Kash puts King in a Boston Crab and Zema breaks it up. King and Kash exchange kicks and Kash sends King flying out of the ring with a hurricanrana. Kash re enters the ring and takes Zema down with a springboard clothesline. Kash goes to the top rope and Zema pushes him off to the floor. King hits Kash with the Royal Flush (a fireman’s carry into a cutter) for the win.

Commercial

When we return, Bully Ray walks to the ring with a chair. Ray says he wants to fight Austin Aries, Austin Aries wants to fight him, and the fans want to see Bully and Austin fight, so let them fight!  Ray sits in the chair and says he’s taking over the show until he gets what he wants.

Austin Aries comes out and claims Ray is only pretending he wants to fight Aries to impress his new girlfriend, Brooke Hogan. Austin Aries puts out a chair and says he’s going to sit there until he gets what he wants to.

Hogan comes out and Aries moves his chair, because he fears Hogan? Or maybe Hogan has really bad halitosis? Hogan says he isn’t going to be pushed around and orders them out of the ring before he kicks/fires their asses.

Brooke Hogan comes out to defend Bully Ray and calls him “Mark.” Hulk is horrified that his daughter is so familiar with Bully Ray that she uses his real name and angrily gives them the match they all wanted.

Commercial

Match #5:  Bobby Roode, Kazarian, and Daniels versus AJ Styles, James Storm, and Jeff Hardy.

Storm and Kaz start the match off and lock up in the middle of the ring. Storm lands a punch and then takes Kaz down with a Thesz press. Storm lands a couple forearm shots and tags in Hardy. Storm and Hardy hit Kaz with a double back elbow.

Kaz tags in Daniels and Daniels slams Hardy to the corner. Hardy hits Daniels with a hurricanrana and then tags in AJ.  Daniels runs away from AJ and tags in Kaz. AJ hits Jaz with a hurricanrana, a couple strikes, and then tags in Hardy.  AJ goes down on all fours and Hardy springs off AJ’s back into Kaz in the corner. (they used to call that “Whisper in the Wind” in WWE when Matt and Jeff Hardy did it. The announcers at TNA called it that tonight; Dixie may be getting a call from Vince’s lawyers.)

Hardy is too close to the wrong corner and gets double teamed by Kaz and Daniels. Kaz puts Hardy in a front chancery as Hardy tries to make a tag. Hardy makes the tag, but Earl doesn’t see it and Hardy gets worked over by the heels some more. Daniels tags in Roode and Roode pummels Hardy. Roode hits Hardy with a vertical suplex and then tags in Daniels.

Daniels stomps on Hardy, slams him into the corner, and then hits him with a pair of knee lifts to the gut.  Daniels tags Kaz and then picks up Hardy so Kaz can clothesline him down  Kaz steps on Hardy’s throat and then kicks him to the floor. Outside the ring, Roode slams Hardy into the edge of the ring.

Hardy tries to fight back with an elbow, but Roode responds with an elbow of his own and then steps on Hardy’s chest.  Roode tags in Daniels and Daniels puts Hardy in a front chancery. Daniels slams Hardy into Kaz’ boot and then tags in Roode. Roode goes to the top but Hardy cuts him off and takes him down with the Twist of Fate.

Hardy is too worn out to capitalize and Roode tags in Kaz as Hardy tags in AJ. AJ knocks down Kaz and Daniels and suplexes Kaz. Storm runs in and hits Kaz with closing time and clotheslines Daniels to the floor. Daniels slams Storm into the steel steps outside the ring; Roode and Kaz double team AJ inside the ring.

AJ simultaneously hits a DDT on Kaz and an inverted DDT on Daniels. AJ goes for a pin on Kaz but Daniels makes the save. AJ tries a springboard move, but Daniels knocks him off the ropes. Storm comes in to help AJ and throws Daniels to the ground. AJ and Storm start arguing.

Hardy tags himself in while AJ and Storm argue. Hardy hits Kaz with the twist of fate for the win!

After the match, AJ and Storm are still arguing as they make their way back to the locker room. Hardy stays in the ring to celebrate, but is attacked by several members of Aces and Eights.  Aces and Eights beat Hardy down until Storm comes in to make the save.

Bobby Roode looks on and smiles at the beating Hardy just took, and then he gives them the thumbs up sign. Apparently Roode is the one that paid Aces and Eights off, and Hardy was the man he hired them to attack. Aces and Eights give Roode the thumbs up signal as Impact goes off the air.

After the recap, Hulk Hogan is the first to the ring. Hogan wants to know what is going on between his daughter and Bully Ray, so he calls the Bully out. Ray comes out and is horrified that Hogan still doesn’t trust him. Ray also asks Hogan if he really wants to know who the #1 man in Brooke’s life is now.

Austin Aries interrupts them on the big screen. Aries is in Hogan’s office along with Kid Kash, Zema Ion, and Kenny King. Austin says they’re all wondering where Hogan is, and Aries promises not to leave the office until Hogan gets there.

Aries then lays on the desk and says “ow, that’s uncomfortable, how does Brooke do it? Maybe she lays on her stomach.”  Hulk seems offended with the implication and angrily makes his way to the office.

Commercial

Match #1: Gail Kim versus Mickie James.

Gail rolls Mickie up for a quick pinfall attempt. Gail presses the advantage with a go behind and some strikes.  Gail twists Mickie’s arm and then hits her with a knee to the gut. Gail hits Mickie with a backbreaker and follows up with a series of strikes.

Gail hits Mickie with a reverse neckbreaker and gets a 2 count. Gail slams Mickie’s face to the mat and traps her in a leg scissors submission hold. Gail twists Mickie’s head around and slams her head first into the canvas.  Gail goes after Mickie in the corner but Mickie kicks her off.

Mickie slams Gail down with a flapjack and climbs to the top rope. Mickie comes off the top rope but Gail avoids the attack and hits Mickie with a dropkick. Gail goes for a cover and uses the ropes but referee Taryn Tyrrell catches her and stops the count.  Gail tries to hit Mickie with Eat Defeet, but Mickie avoids it and hits her with a Mick kick.

Gail lands a kick and a couple forearm shots. Gail hits Mickie with a forearm and a neckbreaker. Mickie responds with a kick and goes for a DDT, which Gail blocks. Mickie climbs to the second rope and hits Gail with a tornado DDT for the win.

In the back, James Storm and AJ Styles are complaining. Storm is mad that Bobby Roode brought Storm’s family into their feud, and AJ is mad that he won’t get another title shot for a year.

Storm tells AJ to stop dwelling on the past and get his mind focused on their tag match tonight.   They both seem irritated, especially AJ.

Commercial

When we return, we are treated to a lousy segment that just sucked. Hogan appears angry at Austin for his comments about Brooke earlier, but still goes ahead with another of his painfully boring rap sessions in which several wrestlers discuss which of them should get chosen for a match that night.

Why not fight for it instead? These segments suck; they should rename this show Total Non-stop Discussion if this is what they’re going to make us watch.  I hate these segments; as a wrestling fan, they offend me.

Bobby Roode makes his way to the ring to talk about his title shot with Jeff Hardy. Roode notes that last week Hardy nearly lost to a Gut Check rookie, Christian York. Roode doesn’t refer to York by name, he simply refers to him as “some nobody.”

York is obviously offended and storms his way out to the ring and then slaps Roode across the face. Roode retreats to the floor and takes his shirt off while angrily yelling at Christian York.

Commercial

Match #2: Christian York versus Bobby Roode.

Roode starts things off with a headlock, followed by another headlock and then a shoulder block that knocks York to the mat. York takes Roode down with a hip toss and follows up with three shoulder blocks. Roode retreats to the floor.  York goes out after Roode but Roode slams him back into the ring.

Roode attempts to slam York into the steps but York reverse it and sends Roode into the steps. York climbs to the top rope and Roode knocks him off and then stomps on him.  York gets to his feet and hits Roode with a back elbow; Roode responds with a clothesline. Roode hits York with a vertical suplex.

Roode climbs to the top rope and jumps off, but York gets his boots up and Roode goes down. The two men get to their feet and exchange strikes.

York goes to the top and hits Roode with a double stomp to the back of the head.  York goes for “mood swings” his neckbreaker finisher, but Roode reverses it. Roode hits York with a shot to the back of the head and ties him up in the crossface. York taps out, Roode wins.

After the match, Roode gets a chair to attack York with, but Hardy comes to his rescue.

In the Aces and Eights locker room, Devon tells Hogan (and us) that he wants his TV title back. He was never beaten for that title, and he says if he gets his title shot next week, no one gets hurt tonight. If he does NOT get his shot, all hell will break loose.

Commercial

When we return, Kurt Angle is lobbying Gut Check officials Taz and Bruce Pritchard on behalf of Wes Briscoe.   Al Snow seems to be missing.

Match #3:  Kaz and Daniels versus James Storm and AJ Styles.

Kaz and Daniels make their way to the ring first. Kaz calls the fans “butt nuggets” and predicts Daniels will beat AJ at the next Pay per View.

Commercial

AJ and Kaz are the first two men in the ring when we return. Kaz gets the early edge with a go behind and then slams AJ to the corner. Kaz takes AJ down with a drop toe hold and then applies a front chancery.  AJ escapes and attempts a drop kick but misses.

AJ tags in Storm. Storm lands a LOT of punches, a kick, and a running neckbreaker. Kaz tags in Daniels and Storm backdrops him. Storm tags AJ and they attempt to double team Daniels but AJ misses. Daniels hits AJ with a series of strikes. AJ tags in Storm and Storm gets double teamed by Daniels and Kaz.

Storm hits Daniels with a clothesline and an inverted atomic drop. Storm hits Daniels with an Enzuigiri. Daniels and Storm make several quick tags and double team Storm. Daniels hits Storm with an elbow drop and Kaz follows up with a leg drop. Storm fights his way out of the corner but Kaz hits him with a dropkick before he can make a tag.  Kaz and Daniels celebrate their advantage over Storm by dancing Gang Nam Style. Taz can’t wait for that to end.

Storm tags in AJ and AJ hits a big series of moves including a forearm shot, a suplex,  a neckbreaker, and a springboard forearm. Kaz goes out to the floor and AJ tries to hit him with a flying cross body; Kaz dodges the attack and AJ hits the ground hard.  Kaz and Daniels beat AJ outside the ring and roll him back in.

Kaz and Daniels hit AJ with a high-low double team move but AJ kicks out. Storm pulls Kaz out of the ring as AJ goes for a Pele kick on Daniels.  AJ misses the kick but Storm tags himself in and beats Daniels with the last call superkick.  After the match, AJ looks frustrated.

Commercial.

When we return, the next phase of the Hogan debate party continues. Hogan eliminates everyone but Aries. I guess Hogan wants to see Aries get beat up tonight.  Aries will face RVD for the X Division title in the main event of this week’s “Championship Thursday.”

In the back, Samoa Joe addresses Devon’s challenge from earlier in the night. Joe admits Devon never lost the title, but claims he did abandon it. So now Joe has the title, and he accepts Devon’s challenge for next week.

Match #4:  Doug Williams versus Matt Morgan with Joey Ryan.

Morgan comes out wearing Hulk Hogan’s robe from his match with Andre the Giant many years ago. Williams starts off with a kick, but Morgan just pushes him down.

Morgan hits Williams with a clothesline, an elbow, a boot to the face, a headbutt, and a side slam. Williams tries to fight back and lands a couple kicks, but Morgan choke slams him and then beats him with the Carbon Footprint.

In the back, D Lo Brown offers to take Al Snow’s place tonight on Gut Check. Al is still nowhere to be found.

Commercial

When we return, JB introduces Taz, Pritchard, and D Lo Brown as the Gut Check judges, and then introduces Wes Brisco.  Pritchard votes yes, but Taz votes no. They both thought Brisco’s match was not great even though he won, but Taz said he’s not quite there yet.

They give Wes a chance to speak for himself before letting D Lo make the final vote, and D Lo votes yes. Kurt Angle and Garrett Bischoff come out to congratulate Brisco.

Commercial

When we return, ODB is being asked about her husband, Eric Young. ODB says for months she was calling him, trying to figure out where he was and when he was coming back, and now he’s out with a broken ankle because of Aces and Eights.  She walks away upset and unable to continue.

Match #5: Austin Aries versus RVD for RVD’s X division title.

Aries lands a kick as RVD poses, and follows up with a knee and a headlock. RVD twists his way out and takes Aries down. The two men exchange take downs and reversals. They exchange strikes and RVD takes Aries down with a bodyscissors.  RVD hits Aries with several shoulder blocks in the corner. RVD dropkicks Aries and Aries goes out to the floor.  RVD hits Aries with a flying crossbody on the floor.

Commercial

When we return, Aries backdrops RVD to the floor. Aries goes for a suicide dive and RVD goes for a spin kick at the same time. The two men collide in what looks like a blown spot, or maybe they wanted it to look like they crashed into each other. It looked sloppy but violent, and that’s what’s important.

RVD drapes Aries down on the security barrier and tries a flying leg drop but Aries gets out of the way and RVD hits the barrier hard. Aries hits RVD with a neckbreaker over the security barrier and drags him back to the ring.  Aries tries to pin RVD several times, but RVD keeps kicking out. Aries and RVD trade elbow strikes.  RVD hits Aries with a kick to the head, Aries responds with a DDT.

Aries hits RVD with a modified version of Rolling Thunder and then climbs to the top rope.  Aries tries to copy RVD’s frog splash, but RVD rolls out of the way and Aries crashes to the mat.  RVD hits Aries with a series of kicks and a shoulder block.

RVD hits Aries with a split legged moonsault and goes for a cover but Aries gets his feet on the ropes. Aries hits Van Dam with a running forearm; RVD retaliates with an elevated drop kick. RVD goes to the top rope but Austin pushes him off and RVD crashes to the floor.

Aries grabs a mic and congratulates RVD for coming so close, but now he’s lying flat on his back and covered in sweat, just like Brooke Hogan. Bully Ray runs out to the ring and attacks Aries, causing the match to get thrown out. Aries is mad that Bully Ray cost him a chance at the title and yells at him.

Hulk Hogan comes out to the entrance ramp, and now Aries is caught between Hogan and Bully Ray. Hogan seems more focused on Bully Ray than Aries however. Bully Ray is angry that Hogan still doesn’t trust him, and they stare angrily at each other as Impact goes off the air.