The good and bad sides of wrestling porn parodies

 
 

When we sit down to watch porn, it’s usually not for the same reasons we take in a non-adult movie. After all, as far as most people are concerned, the only thing a good porno needs to have is sex—and lots of it. But when it comes to a porn parody, it’s a different story. The driving force behind these movies is their ability to re-enact pop culture’s favorite moments while adding a little tongue-in-cheek humor to the scenes and some sex.

Surprisingly (or maybe not), wrestling parodies are commonplace in the adult film industry. They range from big-budget, high-quality production films to videos that look like they were shot with a camcorder inside a local gym’s locker room. Regardless, someone out there is racking up the views on these things. Here are the ones worth watching, the cringe-worthy, and the parodies in between.

The Good: She-Hulk XXX

shehulkvividWhat’s better than an adult film starring Chyna as She-Hulk, acting as the hero who must derail Hydra’s evil plans? The answer is obvious: nothing. Adam & Eve recommends this movie for fans of superhero parodies and sex scenes with strong women, but the appeal stretches further than that. Chyna is no stranger to the adult film world, having starred in several movies over the years. And while most of them involve her wrestling, nude, and with an end result of some sort of sexual act, She-Hulk XXX features her as a superhero instead, which, oddly enough, produces a less aggressive, more erotic Chyna. Whether you’re a fan of seeing Chyna tap into her more sensual side, 69 with Invisible Girl (Alexis Ford), or covered in green body paint (where everything is green—everything), this porn parody is for you. It’s not the only porno Chyna has made since her days in the ring, but it is sexier than the infamous sex tape that catapulted her into the adult film arena, making it a solid win in our book.

The Bad: Official Hogan Knows Best Porn Parody

There are a lot of crazy premises for porn out there, but a deep desire to watch Hulk Hogan bone is not one I’ve ever encountered. The dude was one of the most entertaining wrestlers to watch during his reign as the Hulkster, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to porn, he wouldn’t be my first choice as leading male character in a parody. The Official Hogan Knows Best Porn Parody was released in 2011, six years after Hogan’s reality TV show premiered on VH1. The original is pretty awful itself, so it naturally makes great fodder for a parody, albeit one that you would never, ever want to jerk it to (or at least never admit that you did). The film features all the key characters in the show, including Hogan’s then-wife, Linda (played by Julia Ann), daughter Brooke (Kagney Linn Karter), and son Nick (Michael Vegas), as well as a prostitute played by Kimberly Kane and other miscellaneous non-original-show-related characters. Then comes Hogan (Evan Stone). Really, I think it’s the fake facial hair and wig that gets me. It’s so spot-on yet completely terrible at the same time it’s hard to look away. Kind of like a bad car wreck, or this porn parody.

The Ugly: John Cena and Mickie James/Kendra Lust

This particular parody is just as messy as the real-life events it was purportedly based on. And no, not messy in a money shot way. After a drama-filled few months, John Cena’s divorce from his high school sweetheart was made official in 2012. No one seems to know the real reason for the split. Although, there were plenty of rumors flying around, some of them even fueled by the Mrs. Ex-Cena herself, according to TMZ. The main rumor involved Cena cheating on his wife with Mickie James (the two had a brief fling in 2008), or with adult film star Kendra Lust, or with both. Regardless of what’s true and what isn’t, Kendra Lust made a porn parody with a John Cena lookalike sporting denim shorts, baseball cap, and even a WWE World Title belt. To make matters worse, some felt the parody implied that Kendra Lust was acting as Mickie James, though the video description reads “The trouble started when superstar pro wrestler Johnny’s mistress Kendra Lust showed up at the gym looking to get some…” seemingly confirming the real-life cheating rumors. Despite the confusing nature of the plot, the porno itself has its merits, as all porn does. There are quite a few steamy sex scenes in a wrestling ring, after all.

As an article by the Daily Beast points out, porn parodies based on popular culture are certainly nothing new. But porn based on wrestling may be one subgenre that is more appreciated by fans of the sport than anyone else. If you’re watching for the sex, the good is definitely the way to go. But if you have an extra couple of hours to kill, a less than stellar parody may provide the most entertainment. There’s a lot to be said about porn so bad it’s good, even if you’re watching for the hilarity factor alone.